by Abby James
Bossy Luca. I liked bossy Luca. I did as he asked. He wrapped an arm around my waist and my girlie bits took flight. Geez would that be something he sensed, smelt or felt? How embarrassing if the answer was yes. But I was sure Luca had sensed all my wild emotions whenever I was around him by now so this would be nothing new.
I was encased in powerful raging energy, warm and inviting emotions, desirable and enticing smells and feelings. Then before I could get too comfortable with how things were, I felt a sudden yank around my waist and my stomach was left behind. I opened my eyes to see a blinding flutter of images and then felt the sudden jolt of hard ground beneath me.
I looked around to find us back on the roof.
“That was my first flight and I missed it.”
“Sorry, but I thought it best you didn’t see the first time.”
My lips drooped at the corners when he let me go and walked over to the crenellation. I joined him and we stared down at the gorgeous gardens below.
“Don’t come to the house again unless invited.”
“Why is that?”
“It is not safe. The vampires obey me, but some resent my leadership. Some are much older in years than I and feel they have more of a right to claim leadership. But all know they cannot defeat me, and that is why I remain leader. Even so, I would not trust some of them to stay faithful to my law, just for one taste of you.”
“That Volcove guy was getting kind of creepy.”
“They must not know about you.” He inhaled the chilly air. “Some remember the old days when vampires had the freedom to roam the world and do as they saw fit. This was long before the formation of the council, back when the factions were separate and were at war with each other most of the time. A lot are old enough to remember those days. But times have changed, the wissend population has increased and encroached onto many of their old strongholds. There is little place left in the world for them to hide. I believe for the old ones that is the reason they stay here, not because of me.”
“Sorry, I wouldn’t have come if I had another way of contacting you. You are impossible to reach.”
“I like it that way.” He looked at me. “What is it you want to say?”
“Why are you avoiding me?”
Luca turned back to the horizon. I waited but he didn’t seem willing to answer, so I decided on another tactic.
“Volcove knew of this other channeling.”
Luca turned his body to me with a frown.
“Is that what you wanted to say?”
“No, but this is suddenly more interesting. Just now, he told me he met the channeling of a century ago. He said I reminded him of this guy.”
“I know where your mind is going. But I do not think it would be your father. This man was around in the nineteenth century. Only vampires are immortal and only shifters have extended lives.”
I slumped. He was right. How could my father have lived for well over one hundred years? “Is there no sorcery that could extend a supe’s natural life?”
“There has only ever been one man who succeeded in extending his life beyond the natural. But he is no longer.”
“If he succeeded, why not others?”
“He was a very powerful sorcerer. None could rival him. And to do what you are saying takes a great deal of power. There have been many attempts, but all others have failed.”
“That you know of.”
Luca frowned.
“If someone managed such a feat maybe they would keep it to themselves fearing others would learn of the skill or the council would force them to reveal the secret of their success.”
“Extending one’s life, even creating immortality, would take great power, something that could not be hidden from the council casters. Even back in the nineteenth century.”
Perhaps he was right. “I need to know more about my father. I need to know my origins.”
“I understand. I would want to know myself, but you have to concentrate on your study first.
“What about your family?”
Luca backed away from me, then turned and paced along the stone work. “There is nothing of my parents worth mentioning.”
“Oh no, sounds like a hard story to talk about.”
He turned back to me. “My father was not a nice man.”
“He was a sorcerer, right?”
“A very good one. In fact he was one of the best. He was an evil man. His success and power made him a cruel man.”
“Not having any parents I always dreamed how great it would be to have one home. Not many. But I guess having people who cared for you is much better. What about your mum?”
“She left.”
“Oh.”
“She could no longer be with him. He was as equally cruel to her as he was to me. So she escaped.”
“And she left you with him.”
“Yes.”
“Are you angry with her?”
“I spent a good deal of my adult life looking for her. Not so we could be reunited, but so I could let her know how much she hurt me by leaving me. To this day I don’t understand why she left me, a child, alone with him. I was too young to protect myself. There are other possibilities as to why she disappeared, but as a child that’s what he told me.”
“How old were you?”
“Ten.”
“Old enough to remember her. I guess you never found her.”
“She died one year before I tracked her down.”
“What was her ability?”
“She was wissend.”
I had to stop myself from saying he was the second supe I’d met whose life had mixed with wissend.
“How did the two of them keep that a secret?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. My father was not the sort of person you have a friendly father to son chat with. And my mother was gone by the time I was old enough to think to ask. As an adult, I can understand her running away. He was capable of a great many things. It must’ve been frightening for a wissend.”
“But you still found it hard to accept her leaving you?”
He nodded.
“Did he not try and find her. As a sorcerer that can’t have been hard.”
“It’s amazing she managed to escape in the first place. It was not until I was a young adult did I begin to believe that he let her go, or forced her out.”
“And would not let her take you. Doesn’t that give you some compassion toward her?”
He’d stopped pacing to face out over the crenellations. Balling his fist he banged it on top of the stone pillar. “It does, but it’s hard to ignore the feelings of a boy.”
I stepped alongside him and took his hand in mine. Now was not the time to get all sexed up and fired on good juices, but since I still had no control over my ability I couldn’t help but suck all of what he had into me. What came into me was not just the dynamite of his power, nor the lusty goodness of his smell. This time his emotions were raw and aching, throbbing hard enough for me to feel. Vampires had the ability to feel the primary emotions of the one they sucked blood from, but now it seemed Luca had the ability to suck in any of my emotions whenever we touched. This was what I felt. In touching him, I took his ability to know my emotions and used it to know his. And it wasn’t nice. Deep down, trapped inside the man was the abandoned boy, frightened and alone.
“Looks like we are both abandoned children,” I said. Maybe it was the wrong thing to say, but it felt right at this moment.
“You asked why I was avoiding you.”
“You’re going to answer me now?”
“You weaken me.”
I forgot about the stunning view below us. I also forgot about the conversation that led me to the vampires’ lair. I forgot about everything except Luca.
6
Thanks to our cozy time on the roof, Luca caved and agreed to train me once more. Now all I had to do was behave myself and stop him from changing his mind again. If he felt he was losing control over his desire for another t
aste of my blood, he would distance himself from me faster than I could blink, so I had to keep my ability to myself and try not to suck his during our session. I couldn’t give him anymore reasons to bug out of our training.
I sat at one of the chairs behind a desk in the front row and waited for Luca to arrive at the dungeon. After school and the place was quiet. I’d ran into few students on my way here as most were either in the library completing assignments, at the rotunda or on the lawn enjoying a rare day of warm weather. Amy and Lorna had asked me to join them, but I had mumbled something about needing to go look something up in the library. It seemed I was making a habit out of lying to them, but the lie had slid from my mouth easier than the truth. Both were dead set against vampires. They thought them too dangerous and after finally learning the truth about why I had been in bed for almost a week, Amy was adamant I was to stay away from Luca. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her I’d gone to the devil’s lair to see him.
The sound of footfalls coming down the stairs and I sprang up from sitting, my pulse jumping into a race, which he would hear, damn him. It was going to be impossible to keep my stupid girlie anticipation and desires from him.
He entered like the black shadow he was, and I couldn’t help but think the dungeon was a fitting place for him to teach. Both were dark and mysterious with a hint of danger.
“Good afternoon,” I said, attempting to squelch my eagerness, and doing a shocking job of it.
“Controlling your ability. That is our primary focus today. You will draw too much unwanted attention to yourself if you continue to suck the abilities of others.”
The way he said it sounded like a criticism. What happened to our moment on the roof the other day. “Okay.”
He held my eyes for a breath. In that time he managed to make me feel dissected.
“I am mentioning it for your safety, nothing more.”
“Was I that transparent?”
“Your voice gave you away. I’ve never heard you sound so meek.”
I flashed him a smile. “How do we begin?” Not meek, my dear vampire, just pining.
When he paced over to stand in front of me I had a hard time concentrating on the reason we were here, to train—only—but being this close to him, alone, all I could think about were our kisses and how much I wanted it to happen again.
“That’s a good question. I’ve never trained someone to inhibit their ability, only bring it forth.”
He didn’t look at me as he paced around me, instead he looked at the floor, deep in thought. Once he was standing alongside me he stopped. “Remember in the temple when I told you to keep yourself open to me.”
I nodded.
“Let us try the opposite. We could start by your attempt to shut me out.”
“How shall I do that?”
“How do you experience another’s ability.”
“It rushes into me. I’ve never had to suck it in. It just comes to me.”
“Because at the moment you are like an open gate. But we need to teach you to shut that gate. And for now the only way I can think to do this is to teach you to shut your mind down rather than leave it open.”
“I have to warn you that I am hopeless at concentrating.”
“And maybe that is something else you will need to learn. I have my students meditate for fifteen minutes before each lesson. It’s about focus and control. Concentrating on nothing but your breath while your mind is full of internal chatter is a powerful lesson. It strengthens your will, and control.”
“This is going to be a long lesson if you expect me to focus on my breath for more than a minute.”
“That is something we will build up to. For now let us try some simple blocking. I am going to touch you. I want you to try and block what you feel. Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed.”
Luca came around to stand in front of me. “We’re going to touch hands. The moment you feel the first tingle of my ability I want you to focus on blocking it out.”
I nodded.
“Are you ready?”
“I’m about as ready as I’m ever going to be.”
I raised my hands, palms facing up. Time warped to slow as I watched Luca raise his hands above mine. I thrummed with the anticipation of touching him and receiving the hit he always gave me, which wasn’t what I should be getting excited about. And if I kept having these thoughts I would never succeed at blocking him. Keeping him out was the last thing I wanted to do.
While I strummed waiting for his touch, Luca hesitated. His hands hovered over mine for what seemed like hours. Maybe he was debating if this was such a good idea, and what would happen if I failed? When our fingers finally connected a wash of his ability rushed up my arm. It was like experiencing a fire after being immersed in a chilled bath, except it didn’t hurt. The exact opposite in fact. It was like I had been numbed by that chilled bath for all these years and now the fire was enlivening me, switching my body, senses and mind to on. I loved what Luca gave me. I needed what Luca gave me. I didn’t want to shut it out.
But more than anything I wanted Luca to feel he could trust me, which wouldn’t happen if I failed, so I focused on where I felt the energy trail through my body and tried to think of forcing it back and out of me. Still the energy came, flowing in like it belonged inside of me. Using Luca’s analogy, I conjured images of shutting a gate. I saw myself slamming it closed against the influx crashing through my body, but still it came.
No good. I was desperately sucking his energy in like it was a drug, and I was the addict.
“Try harder, Samara.”
I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to look at his gorgeous face—way too distracting—and focused on the place where his hands touched mine. But it was no good. The energy streamed in without restraint. If anything it seemed to flow faster. And I was bathing in the glory of it.
Luca dropped his hands and backed up. His energy linked for seconds longer before it ebbed away leaving me feeling hollow. It felt like my life force was disappearing along with his power, such was the might of what he gave me.
“You’re too strong. It flows into me with too much force.”
“You’re like a well that needs to be filled. At first my energy flowed through uninhibited. But then you began to draw it in. I could feel it. The pull got stronger with each breath I took.”
“Oh god, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to do it. There is nothing there for my mind to grab hold off. I tried focusing on shutting a gate, but I’m no good at concentrating. Does it weaken you?”
“Not at the moment, no. But if you were to continue at the rate you do, it would.”
“No.” I didn’t want to suck him dry. This was terrible. It never occurred to me I was taking other people’s abilities to their detriment.
“You’ll never master your ability if you don’t keep trying.”
“There must be another way. I don’t want to suck you dry.”
He quirked a smile. “Sucking me dry? Is that what you feel you’re doing?”
“But I am. I’m like a vampire only I prey on energy rather than blood.”
“Interesting way of looking at your ability, but not a helpful one. It suggests your ability is wrong or bad. Don’t think of it like that or you’ll forever be at war with yourself. Either that or you’ll shy away from what is natural to you. Your ability is you, Samara, and not a curse. Try and think of another analogy, which makes you feel positive about it.”
He was right. Already I hated what I could do.
“We’ll stop for now. I want to try a new tact. Something I do with my students.”
“Oh no, you want me to meditate.”
“You must learn to control your mind. With a wild, unsettled mind you will never master your ability.”
“If my ability is natural to me, why should it be so hard?”
“Maybe if our abilities came through when we were young we would find it easier to manipulate them, having grown with them. However that is not how it goes.
Just remember everything good takes time to master. One year is not a long time when you have the rest of your life. And for you it is more difficult because you didn’t grow up in a supernatural family. You didn’t see the skills practiced daily.”
“What was it like to grow up surrounded by magic?”
“In many respects it was terrifying. My father would use his ability to punish me. Rather than a smack I would be made to dangle upside down and mop the floor with my hands and a scrubber.”
“Jesus, what a bastard. Doesn’t the Council of Factions have laws against child abuse?”
“They do, but they are so much harder to prove. My father was an outstanding citizen. Everyone admired him. No one would believe the atrocities he committed on his own family. Given my mother was a wissend, I doubt she would’ve had any idea about supernatural law and who to turn to for help. Besides, my father would’ve threatened her to keep her silence.”
“How old were you when you managed to escape from your father?”
“I tried to run away a few times, but it’s not such an easy thing to do when you have a sorcerer for a father. He magically tagged me so he could keep an eye on me. Tagging your children is a punishable offense in the supe world now, but not when my father tagged me. Once I entered Darkwells I was free of the tag. Not that it made much difference as he threatened me enough before I entered to ensure I kept our family secret and that I should return at every holiday. But I found adequate excuses. I made myself indispensable to the Dean. Begged him to contact my father and say I was staying on because I was involved in special classes or training activities. My father hated it, but he was smart enough to keep his anger in check and his mouth closed.”
“When did you break free of his cruelty?”
“On graduating from here. I studied day and night. I lived in the library. I was the first in all my classes because I never stopped practicing.”
“So if I were to look in the Darkwells achievement book would I see your name in it?”
“For every year.”
“You topped every year?”
“I had reason to be dedicated. I was leaving the school free of my father.”
