by Abby James
I looked at the floor. “I rarely listened to my teachers. I couldn’t concentrate for longer than a few minutes at a time. I barely scrapped through at the end.”
“What did you do before you came here?”
“I was a desairologist.”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“I prepared the deceased for viewing. But I had my own business as a beautician. I worked from home. The desairology was a side business. Although in the last year it was taking up more of my time.”
“Grizzly job.”
“That’s what most think, but it was peaceful. Most of my jobs were evening callouts for an early funeral the next day. I was usually the only one there. I found it relaxing.” But my story wasn’t interesting, at least not to me. “What about you. What did you do when you graduated from Darkwells?”
“I studied advanced sorcery at the Romendo Academy in Prague. It was the only academy at the time that offered advanced sorcery.”
“What made you return?”
“I had to escape a difficult situation. Seems I’ve spent most of my life running away.”
“Now you have me curious. What was the situation?”
“I met someone over there. A lady.”
I didn’t like where this was going but I was curious. This had to be the vampire woman Amy had told me about.
“A lady as in a vampire?”
“You know the story?”
“You were a sorcerer and now you’re a vampire too. Amy told me some vague story about an ill-fated love.”
“She was on faculty. Much older than I, even in human years.”
“How much older?”
“In human years thirty-five, the age she was when she was turned, as a vampire much older.”
“How was she turned?”
“A lover who wished for her to be with him always. He enthralled her and drank from her then gave her some of his blood in a glass. Under his thrall she didn’t realize what she was drinking.”
“She must’ve been pissed when she woke to discover what she was?”
“She killed him.”
“She really was pissed. Did she do the same to you? Trick you into taking her blood?”
“No. I willingly drank her blood.”
Wow that hurt to hear, but I had to remind myself he wasn’t with her now.
“Did you take her blood because you wanted to be with her always?”
“No. It was for other reasons.”
“You wanted to be a vampire?”
“Not so much a vampire, but I wanted to be immortal.”
“I think immortality would be horrible. I couldn’t bare to say good-bye to everyone I loved.”
“That’s why vampires live in lairs. That way they’re never alone. But it was not so I could live forever. The idea never crossed my mind. I had far more important reasons for what I did. I made the decision without thinking of the future consequences because I was consumed by what needed to be done at the time. Virena understood. That’s why she agreed to turn me.”
Even though they weren’t together now, they had something in common that could never pull them apart; their immortality and a secret Luca didn’t seem willing to reveal. But they weren’t together now. I had to keep reminding myself of that.
“What happened between the two of you?”
“The same thing that happens to most relationships. It didn’t work out. We’re still friends.”
“Do you still see her?”
“We catch up every Christmas. Alternating where we visit every year.”
Once a year. I could handle that. Jesus, Samara what are you thinking? Luca didn’t even want to be with me, not like that, so why was I thinking like this? It wasn’t helping my concentration when I was lost in fantasies about the two of us happily ever after. And how would that work out? A mortal and an immortal. I was destined to grow old and he was destined to stay forever young with Virena.
“What did you mean when you said I weakened you?” I needed to hear something that would cheer me up.
He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I didn’t know what I was saying.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“There’s no point in having this discussion.” He moved away.
I felt the vacuum in the distance he created, the wall he erected. Why did he do this? Was he afraid of getting close? I couldn’t see Luca afraid of anything, but I didn’t want to think of the alternative; that he couldn’t reciprocate my feelings. He hoped to spare me the shame. I would like to think I could face the rejection with courage. Truth was I couldn’t. Not at this moment. Spending all this time with him and he was stripping my normally guarded self. But it wasn’t the same for him. My proximity seemed to do nothing but erect barriers around his heart.
“I cannot risk a repeat of what happened the time I took your blood.” He said it with force, as if I had begged him to do it again.
“I’m not asking you to take my blood.”
I would love to feel the experience I had that day, but would never admit it.
He shook his head then pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know. It was spoken out of place. But you have no idea the bind it creates.”
Was that the only reason why? He didn’t want to be bound to me, connected in a way he seemed to find abhorrent.
“It’s fine. I’m happy to keep my blood to myself.” I was getting good at lying.
“We need to stay focused on the reason we’re here. Time to meditate.”
I slumped forward and rolled my eyes. This was going to be painful.
7
From over Amy’s shoulder I watched Teresa as she leaned close to Duncan and whispered something in his ear.
“What’s happening now?” Amy said.
“Not a lot. They’re eating.” I did not want to upset her and say that Teresa practically had her tongue in Duncan’s ear.
“She’s whispering something in his ear. Why she feels the need to whisper, I don’t know. They looked really intimate.”
“What? That doesn’t sound like nothing to me.” She hard stared me and spun around to look for herself, and I rolled my eyes at Lorna’s frankness once again. When she spun back her face was flushed red. “That bitch. She’s doing it because she knows I’m interested in him. It’s a competition she is determine to win.” Then she slumped forward and slammed her elbows on the table. “Who am I kidding. Of course she will win. Miss all-so-perfect with the top grades and bank balance to match.”
“Stop. Okay, just stop with all the comparing. Duncan likes you.”
“Likes. What can I do with like?”
“It’s a start.”
“There’s no point in starting at like if he already fancies Teresa. Like is for friends. Rarely any relationships move on from like to love.”
“Not true.”
“He’s getting up and heading for the deserts with his bowl. He eats a lot of sweets,” Lorna said.
I glanced beyond Amy to see for myself.
“Wait here,” I said.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Putting you out of your misery.”
“Are you going to permanently disfigure Teresa?”
“I am going to have it out with Duncan.”
“No,” Amy hissed. “Leave him alone. He will think I sent you and then he’ll think I’m spying on him. Then he will think I’m desperate.”
“You’re both. Look, do you want to know what he thinks of you?”
“No, not now. I couldn’t handle it.”
“Amy,” this time I let the exasperation through. “You are making yourself sick. Ever since you found out you had competition you have stopped concentrating on your classes. You are consumed by this. And you’re no way closer to knowing anything about how he feels.”
“What are you going to say?”
“I am going to insist he comes over here to speak with you about what happened at the party.”
“I wouldn’t,” she
gasped. “He’s only just returned from wherever he was. Maybe he’s really tired. He looks exhausted. How can we have a decent conversation when he is too tired to think properly?”
“You’re making up excuses.”
“Of course I am. I can’t believe you are going to do this.”
“You can’t keep hiding in the shadows. Teresa’s not timid in her claim over him, so it’s about time you let her know there was competition.”
“I am not competition.”
“According to you and you alone. He likes you, Amy, a lot. And I have not seen too much so far that indicates to me he likes Teresa anymore than you.”
“They’ve only been here an hour. How is that long enough for you to learn anything?”
“Trust me, will you.”
“If only you were a fire elemental. Then maybe you could set her hair on fire and turn her bald.”
“I can’t believe you just suggested that.”
“Neither can I,” Amy said and slumped further forward. At this rate she would bury her face in her food.
I left Amy with her head bowed and Lorna looking stricken and headed for Duncan, who was running down the sweets counter. I cast a glance to Teresa, deep in conversation with the girl sitting next to her. Another caster no doubt. Despite mixing the factions into different houses, most spent their class time and free time with their own kind, which was likely not what Darkwells wanted. It was only Amy and Lorna who seemed willing to spent time with someone not from their faction.
I came up behind Duncan. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
He spun. Then seeing it was me smiled a tight smile and looked back to the sweets spread in front of him.
“If you don’t mind me saying, you look like shit.” What did they do when they were away on these missions?
“I’ve been back at Darkwells about an hour ago. I haven’t eaten in twelve hours so this was the first place I headed after I had a shower.”
“Twelve hours, you’ve come a long way.”
“Long enough. All I want to do after this is sleep.”
“You should visit medic, see if they can make you feel more lively?”
“I could, but it’s something good food and a long sleep will cure.”
“What do you do when you’re away?”
“Are you fishing for information?”
“Of course. Everyone is curious about what you casters do when you disappear for weeks on end. I would guess I’m right in saying whatever you do is not on this continent.”
“It’s council work. Top secret. I can’t tell.”
“Not even Teresa?”
He glanced sideways at me. “Not even Teresa. Is this more fishing you are doing?”
“Of course?”
Despite being a powerful sorcerer, he looked tongue tied and confused. “Are you here on behalf of someone else?”
“I’m here for her but she didn’t send me. She’s my friend and this is what friends do for each other.”
“Stick their noses in each others business?”
“Of course. You English people must have different rules when it comes to friendships.”
Was that a slight smile I detected on his face. “She’s a fourth year student I’ve helped out on a few occasions.”
“She’s acting like she wants more personal help.”
“Really? Honestly I hadn’t noticed.”
“Duncan. Are you that naive?”
He scooped a creme caramel from a dish and heaped it onto his plate. “There is nothing between Teresa and I. If she thinks so it is her mistake.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear that. Now you can head on over to my table and share the news with Amy.”
He straightened. “It really has nothing to do with Amy.”
I whacked him across the arm. “This has everything to do with Amy. You two have been good friends for awhile. And then things took an unexpected turn during the Draak party, and it is time you sorted it all out.”
“I’m hungry and I need to sleep.”
“You’ve got the rest of your life to do both. Stop being such a scaredy cat. Go and be a man.” I held up my hand before he could reply. “It’s complicated. I know. You’ve said that already. But you need to explain the complication to Amy. Honestly, you go off and conduct dangerous secret missions but you can’t even talk to a girl.”
He ducked his head, looking suitably chastised.
“That’s a good lad. Maybe once you have finished your sweets you can take her out somewhere private where you can air the confusion.”
He looked at his creme caramel wobbling on his plate. “I don’t think I’m up for another round of sweets.”
I smiled as saccharine as I could and left him. On my way back I caught Teresa looking at me. She wasn’t giving me the evil eye like I was used to with Mila and Pen, but she did look curious. She wouldn’t know who I was, of course. Sad thing was she looked nice enough. Attractive but not in a bombshell, vain sort of way. She had the natural, open faced, open hearted attractiveness that came with a lot of smiles. Poor Amy. It would be much easier if Teresa was the same sort of bitch as the Marcel sisters, but she looked the opposite.
Both Amy and Lorna stared at me when I sat down. “He’s going to finish his sweets and then come over to talk to you.”
“Do we need to make ourselves scarce?” Lorna said.
“I think he will find a better place to talk than the dining hall. If not I will have an other hard word with him.”
“I cannot believe you just did that,” Amy said.
“Something needed to be done, and you weren’t going to do it. Oh, Jesus, here he comes. That was quick,” I said as I lowered my head and focused on my now cold egg.
“Oh god, what do I say to him?”
“You’re asking me? The truth, Amy.”
Honestly, I was perhaps the least experienced at having a successful relationship between the three of us. My sole two experiences lasted six months and one year respectively. The first I discovered was cheating on me for the entire time we were together and the second wouldn’t move out of home. He even had the gall to suggest I move into his room with him when I said we should see if we were compatible living together. His mum did everything for him and he wasn’t prepared to lose that. It took me a whole year to realize that if we did end up living together I would be expected to step in where he’s mother left off. I couldn’t even cook and iron for myself. I was not about to do it for someone else.
“Ladies,” Duncan said, smiling at each of us.
“Hi,” Lorna said, in a weak voice that sounded like he’d sprung us having a conversation about him—because we were.
Amy swallowed and turned around to face him. “Hi Duncan. It’s nice to see you back in one piece, but geez you look like shit.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Sounded like Amy was off to a good start. The two had started as good friends. Hopefully they would end as good friends if nothing else came of this talk.
He slid down on the seat next too Amy. I resisted looking across to Teresa. I didn’t want her to feel bad.
“I was hoping we could have a chat when you were finished with your meal,” he said to Amy.
“Sounds great. Good thing I’m finished,” she said, placing her fork down and sliding her near full plate away from her.
“You sure?” Duncan said, eyeing her plate.
“Shall we go?” Amy rose from the table.
I waved them away using the tips of my fingers. Then watched them head down the long table and out of the dining hall.
“Do you think that will work?” Lorna said.
“At least Amy will know one way or the other, and she can get on with her life. No point wasting precious time pining over him if he doesn’t feel the same.”
Lorna turned her attention to me. “And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you think Amy and I don’t see what’s going on with you and Luca? We’ve not said anyth
ing because…well, Amy thinks if we pretend it’s not true then it won’t be.”
I tried my hardest to control the smile fighting to win freedom. “He’s training me to control my ability.”
“Is that all?”
“It’s all he will allow. I’m keen for something else, but he keeps his distance after the kissing and blood sucking disaster.”
Lorna’s eye’s were on the verge of popping right out. “He’s kissed you?”
“Twice.”
“Oh good lordie lord. How the hell did that happen?”
“Do I have to go into specifics?”
“God, no. I mean. I know what leads to kissing, but…Samara. He’s a vampire.”
“God, he’s so yummy,” I groaned.
“But, he’s a vampire. At some point he will take more of your blood. It’s in his nature. He won’t be able to stop that one time. And then he will enthrall you into surrendering yourself to him. He would want to see if he could turn you. It could go either way. You could lose your current ability and turn into a vampire.”
I heaved a sigh, the sort that sounded like I was lost in a wonderful daydream.
“Oh sweet lord, You should see your face. It’s the face of a blood addict.”
I snapped out of my happy thoughts. “What’s a blood addict?”
“That’s what we call the wissend that have been bitten and crave it again and again. It’s why they return to these vamp clubs over and over. They don’t remember what happened but they do remember the incredible high they experienced. It’s on your face, Samara, that craving.”
Oops. “It was just a taste.”
“Amy warned you. Why did you let him take some of your blood in the first place? No, don’t bother answering that. You’ve already told me. I just wish it didn’t have to happen like that.”
“I trust Luca. He’s helping me, and he said he won’t take my blood again. He doesn’t even seem to want to be near me unless he is training me.”
Her expression said I was hopelessly lost. “At least that is something. You can’t risk it, Samara. It’s too dangerous, especially after last time.”
Everyone was prejudice against vampires. And the vamps, by refusing to mingle with the rest of the factions, made the prejudice worse.
“If only I wasn’t so hopeless on learning to control my ability.
