by Neil LaBute
MAN Around this time?
WOMAN Right about this time …
MAN Before it gets too hot.
WOMAN Yes.
MAN Yeah.
WOMAN Nice.
MAN Yep.
They slowly come to a stop. Back where they started.
They do a bit more stretching. Walking around and cooling down. Glancing at each other.
WOMAN Made it! (Beat.) Well … I better get back.
MAN You should.
WOMAN For …
MAN Right. I know. “Giselle.”/ Before someone goes and throws her in the river.
WOMAN Right!/ Ha! Anyway … it was great talking with you … about things …
MAN Yes!
WOMAN All sorts of things …
MAN True.
WOMAN And dreams …
MAN Uh-huh.
WOMAN Which was okay, wasn’t it …? To …
MAN Sure … absolutely yes …
WOMAN I mean … dreams can’t hurt anything … can they?/ (Beat.) Can they?
MAN Not really … I mean …/ No.
WOMAN Not if you don’t let them …
MAN Right. If they just stay that way. (Beat.) As, like … “dreams.”
WOMAN Exactly! No, then they’re …
MAN They’re just “dreams.” (Beat.) Right?
WOMAN Yes. And nothing more …
MAN Exactly.
WOMAN “Dreams.”
MAN … yeah.
WOMAN As opposed to … you know …
MAN What?
WOMAN Just … real stuff, I guess. Reality.
MAN True.
WOMAN Because reality is … so …
MAN Exactly.
WOMAN So messy.
MAN Yep.
WOMAN Lies … and, and … like …
MAN Secrets.
WOMAN Definitely secrets!
MAN And … lies …
WOMAN I said that already.
MAN Right! You did … “lies” …
WOMAN And secrets …
MAN Yes. Which I mentioned …
WOMAN And plans. Always planning little trysts.
MAN I guess.
WOMAN I mean … I would imagine, anyway …
MAN Sure. “Planning.” And “trysts.”
WOMAN And hurt. Real people being hurt …
MAN Right. “Hurt.” And deceived.
WOMAN Yes … or even worse./ Yes. Found out.
MAN Worse?/ Right. Exposed.
WOMAN So … yes … trust me. It’s probably better to just dream about this. All of this./ All of it.
MAN … maybe so …/ Yep.
WOMAN I do. I think so. I definitely do. (Beat.) Better than secrets … and lies … and … and …
MAN … hurt …
WOMAN Yes. (Beat.) “Hurt.”
They stare at each other for another long minute. After a second, she holds out her hand. He reaches out to take her hand but she nods “No.” Points to his water bottle.
WOMAN I will take a sip, though. If you don’t mind.
MAN … no … that’s … not at all. No.
The MAN fumbles to get it out again. Holds it out for the WOMAN.
She takes it and holds it near her mouth but not right up to it. Instead, she squeezes and lets a long, thin stream of water cascade into her mouth.
He stands there. Watching her. Transfixed.
The WOMAN finishes and hands the bottle over. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
WOMAN … have a good one./ What, meters?
MAN Yeah, you, too. (Beat.) I’m probably gonna go do a few more … you know …/ Ha! Yeah. “Meters.” (Reciting.) “Meters to go before I …”
WOMAN Ha! (Laughs.) Cool.
MAN Yep.
WOMAN See you soon?
MAN Hope so.
WOMAN Yes.
MAN I really do.
WOMAN Yes.
MAN I’d like that …
WOMAN Yes. (Beat.) Me too …
MAN Good. That’s … (Beat.) Good.
The WOMAN smiles and turns. Walks off toward the parking lot in the distance.
The MAN watches her go. Takes a drink from the bottle and then replaces it.
He spins in a series of tight circles. Wondering what all of this means to him and his little life.
After a moment, the MAN turns and runs away, with his eyes staring off into the distance.
Silence. Darkness.
HERE WE GO ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH
HERE WE GO ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH had its world premiere as part of the “LaBute Short Play Festival” at the St. Louis Actor's Studio in St. Louis, MO, in July 2014.
It was directed by Milton Zoth.
KIP Reginald Pierre
BILL William Roth
Silence. Darkness.
A stretch of grass and flower beds. Benches as well. Some corner of a park somewhere. The sound of children playing in the distance.
A man in his 50s sitting on one of the benches. He has a paper with him but he’s not reading it. This is “ BILL.”
He just sits. And watches. Checks his watch from time to time. Takes a bite from an unwrapped sandwich.
After a moment another man enters. Sits on a bench near BILL. He’s mid-30s. Work clothes. His name is “KIP.”
BILL glances at KIP. Nods. KIP returns the gesture. They sit. They watch.
KIP … great day, huh?
BILL Gorgeous.
KIP Yeah. I know. (Beat.) Terrible winter we had, so … thank God. Right?
BILL Uh-huh. So cold.
KIP Yep. That was the thing … people saying it was one of the worst on record and all that, but to me it just seemed cold. The snow stuck around because of that … not like it just kept coming … piling up or anything … but really cold. So it stayed.
BILL That’s true.
KIP Anyway … (Pointing.) It’s spring now. It feels great—last few weeks, month even—it’s been fantastic.
BILL I agree.
KIP And perfect over here. In the park.
BILL Oh yes. This is such a nice spot.
KIP Yeah?
BILL Mmmmmmm. On a day like this? Wonderful. (Beat.) I’ll sit here for hours when I’m not working. Taking in the sun.
KIP I’ll bet.
BILL Quiet, you know? More so than the rest of the park. Down by the ball fields. Other places like that. And gorgeous light …
KIP Right.
BILL A bit more secluded.
KIP Yeah, I can see that …
BILL You can read, or … you know … have your lunch. (Indicates.) A sandwich.
KIP Uh-huh. (Beat.) Yeah, it’s tucked back in here a ways. Off the path. That’s nice. (Waits.) Listen to those kids …
BILL I know.
KIP So happy to be outta the house … makes you smile to hear ’em out there, laughing and playing. Doesn’t it?
BILL Yes. (Listens.) Sounds like they’re having fun …
KIP Totally. (Beat.) That doesn’t bother you?
BILL Excuse me?
KIP No, I just mean … when you were saying it stays quieter over here—this end of the park—that doesn’t bug you? The kids? If you’re reading your paper or whatever … eating your sandwich?
BILL No. Not at all.
KIP Well, that’s good …
BILL Yes, they’re fine. (Pointing.) They’re way over there. Down by the—pretty far away.
KIP Oh. Right. Yeah, I see … by that little gate. (Beat.) Some probably come up this way, though, right? A few?
BILL Sometimes. Not too often.
KIP Huh.
BILL No, they’re not much of a bother. (Beat.) They just like to explore and that sort of thing. Bring their dogs up here …
KIP Nice. (Beat.) You got any?
BILL Animals?
KIP No! The other kind …
BILL Hmmmm?
KIP Kids. Do you have children?
BILL Oh! Sorry! (Laughs.) I don’t. No. None of my own …
KIP Got it.
BILL Wasn’t lucky enough for that to happen in my life … so …
KIP Huh. But you’d like some? Or one, even? I mean … if you could?
BILL Ummmmmm …
KIP You don’t have to answer that! Sorry.
BILL That’s alright.
KIP None of my business, really …
BILL It’s fine.
KIP I mean … not “none” but you don’t have to say anything. (Beat.) If you don’t wanna.
BILL What’s that?
KIP What?
BILL I didn’t follow you …
KIP About …?
BILL You said something … I missed the part about … did you say that it was or was not your business? My having children? (Beat.) Sorry?
KIP Ummmmmmmm … neither. I said it was sort of somewhere in-between, I guess.
BILL I’m not … I’m afraid I’m lost … what?
KIP In-between.
BILL What does that mean?
KIP I mean … yes … you’re right … it’s not really my “business” if you have a kid or not, that’s not what I’m—but I have a kid, and you know him. And that is my business. (Beat.) That part. (Beat.) They won’t be coming here today, by the way. My wife. My kid. (Beat.) Today it’s just gonna be me. (Beat.) You and me.
BILL …
KIP (Looking over.) Well, that made you quiet.
BILL No … not at all … I just don’t …
KIP What? (Beat.) Don’t know what to say … or which one I’m talking about? Which kid?
BILL I don’t … I’m not sure I like your tone. Mr.…?
KIP Simms. My name is “Kip Simms.” Yours?
BILL I’m “Bill.” (Beat.) My name’s “Bill.”
KIP Oh. (Waits.) “Bill” what?
BILL “Bill Jensen.”
KIP “Bill Jensen.” (Beat.) Yeah, you’re him. I got the right guy. (Beat.) I suppose there was always the chance that I could’ve sat down next to someone else … different guy who accidentally sat where you usually do in the afternoons … that is possible.
BILL Listen … Mr. Simms … I’m not sure …
KIP “Kip” really is fine, you can just call me that. “Kip.” I prefer it.
BILL Fine, “Kip” …
KIP No need to get formal or anything.
BILL … alright …
KIP Not yet, anyway …
Silence for a moment. KIP keeps looking into the distance as BILL looks over at him. Studying him.
KIP You don’t know me. Haven’t seen me before or anything … it’s not that.
BILL I didn’t think so.
KIP Doesn’t matter how long you look at me or search your memory …
BILL Look, what’s this about? Honestly?
KIP It’s about you.
BILL Me?
KIP Yeah. About you … and my son.
BILL looks over at KIP and blanches at this. In silence.
BILL (Checks watch.) … I’m sorry, but my lunch is almost over and I need to go … this is, ummmmmmmmm …
KIP You should probably take a long lunch.
BILL What?
KIP That’s advice. Not a threat.
BILL Yes, but … why would I …?
KIP Because. You just should.
BILL … look …
KIP Because I have some things to say to you and you need to hear them or I’m going to tell them to somebody else. Other people. People that you would probably not at all like me talking to …
BILL …
KIP Does that make sense? (Beat.) Bill?
BILL doesn’t respond but sits back on his park bench and waits. KIP lets him stew for a moment. Silence.
BILL Yes. I mean … yes. I suppose.
KIP Yeah. It does. You know it does.
BILL And who’s your son? (Beat.) If I may ask?
KIP Sure. You can ask … you just did. (Beat.) Or maybe you can guess. (Beat.) “Taylor.” Taylor is my son. “Taylor Simms.”
BILL Oh.
KIP Yeah. You know “Taylor,” right? Adorable little guy … four years old. Blond. You know which one. (Beat.) Right, Bill?
BILL Yes … I mean … there’s a boy who comes by here … with his mother … named “Taylor.” (Beat.) Some afternoons.
KIP That’s him.
BILL So, yes. I know him. If that’s the one …
KIP ‘Course it is. You know that’s the same one. You already know that.
BILL Alright. (Beat.) I didn’t know his last …
KIP Unless there’s other boys. On other afternoons. (Beat.) If there are, if that’s the case, then this is probably a bit confusing right now and if that’s true then I’m sorry. (Beat.) Sorry about that, Bill.
BILL …
KIP He talks about you. Taylor does. (Beat.) Isn’t that funny? He talks about you at home. When I get back from work. In the evening. After dinner. Sometimes during but mostly after. When I’ve got time to sit around and play with him at night … he talks about you.
BILL …
KIP About this man at the park. “Bill.”
BILL But … that’s … not …
KIP No, it’s you. I know it’s you that he’s talking about. Let’s not waste time on that. ‘Kay? (Beat.) O-kay?
BILL Fine.
KIP Yeah. “Fine.”
BILL But …
KIP My son talks about the “nice man at the park.” (Beat.) Which is you, Bill. He is talking about you. (Beat.) Is he right?
BILL I’m sorry?
KIP Is-he-right?
BILL I don’t know what you’re asking me …
KIP Are you a nice man? “Bill Jensen?” (Beat.) Had to ask my wife your last name … she couldn’t remember it at first … but hey.
BILL … this is really outrageous, do you know that? (Beat.) It is. (Beat.) I mean it.
KIP Of course you do.
BILL I do! I mean … coming here, and, and …
KIP What?
BILL Just … talking to me like this!
KIP I haven’t really said that much to you.
BILL Ha!
KIP Well, you can laugh and be whatever it is that you’re acting like you are, but it’s true. I’ve only said a couple things. And asked you a question … (Beat.) A question that you didn’t answer yet.
BILL What?
KIP Are you “nice?” Is my son right about you or not?
BILL Yes. (Beat.) I’m nice.
KIP Okay.
BILL I am.
KIP Fine.
BILL I’m a good person …
KIP Let’s not get carried away, Bill. All I asked was the “nice” part. “Good” is a whole different thing …
BILL Alright, well, I need to … (Gathers up his paper.) … I really do have to get to my office now, so … you’re going to have to excuse me …
KIP At “Beneficial,” you mean?
BILL stops in his tracks. Looks over at KIP. Silence for a moment.
BILL What’re you doing here? What is this?
KIP That’s right, isn’t it? Where you work?
BILL Yes.
KIP I didn’t learn that from Taylor. I mean, that would’ve been amazing for a kid his age to know that. Right? To remember it. (Beat.) But his mom remembered—you know, “Trish,” my wife Trish, whom you’re so chatty with, apparently, when they come over here during the week and talk with you, on these benches here—Trish could remember that. (Beat.) “Beneficial.”
BILL …
KIP One of the few things that you let slip about yourself. Where you work. (Beat.) When I asked Trish about you—and I’ll be honest, I sorta grilled her about you—once I started hearing about you, every day from my son … all she could do was give me a sort of general description of you and come up with where you worked … at “Beneficial.” (Beat.) She even defended you, Bill. At first. Said some very nice things about you.
BILL is still standing. He looks off, trying to decide if he should leave or not. He doesn’t, tho
ugh. Instead, BILL stays right where he is.
BILL You have a lovely family. Trish and your son. (Beat.) I mean that. (Beat.) I do.
KIP Uh-huh.
BILL She’s very nice to talk with. Your wife.
KIP That’s good.
BILL And your son … he’s … Taylor’s …
KIP I’m gonna stop you right there, Bill. You can stop talking. Right now.
BILL …
KIP Because, see, I don’t really give a shit if you like them or not. Honestly. Could not care less. (Beat.) The thing I do care about, though, is that you stop. Just go away now … stop doing what you’re doing with them. From this moment on. Got it? (Beat.) I want you to disappear.
BILL Listen, I’m not …
KIP BILL.
BILL What?
KIP Do you get it? What I’m saying? I need an answer from you. Right now.
BILL Yes, but … listen …
KIP That’s all that matters.
BILL No, I’m trying to say something now, so listen to me … please …
KIP Bill … just stop …
BILL No, I’m going to say something here! You are not going to railroad me with all of your tones and your … your accusations. (Beat.) I have done nothing wrong here … at all. Nothing. (Beat.) I have talked to your wife … to Trish … that is true, and your son as well … but there has been no wrong-doing of any kind. Of any kind. I didn’t seek them out, I haven’t … Trish speaks to me, if anything, she speaks to me and I’ll tell you something, she is a lonely person. Maybe you don’t like hearing that but it’s true. She’s lonely and she has sought out my friendship, not the other way around. Maybe you should speak to her about that at some point. Alright? About why she comes by in the afternoons.
KIP I see.
BILL And whatever you’re implying about your son—about Taylor—is sickening to me … that is just … well, you really need to look at your own personal relationships, Mr. Simms. (Beat.) I’m sorry to be blunt like this, I’m not a rude person, but I can’t listen to any more of this without defending myself. (Stands.) I think this is awful, what you’ve done, but I need to ask you to please tell your wife to leave me alone from now on. To go elsewhere in the park with your son, and I think that’s unfortunate but that’s the way it goes. Nothing to be done. (Beat.) And now I really do need … to be … I have to …
BILL starts to walk away. KIP lets him get pretty far and then calls out to him:
KIP Oregon.
BILL stops in his tracks. Back turned to KIP. Stands in silence.
KIP I wasn’t sure about it—I mean the photo looks like a younger you—but if just the word makes you stop like that … Oregon … then it must be you. (Beat.) Right?
