Solace (Asteria Trilogy Book 1)

by Alaina Katherine

  “No, you need to build up your mind’s strength. That is the only that you will be able to put up a wall to block out outsiders.” The thought of someone poking around in my head was super creepy.

  I continued to try to clear my mind for at least another hour but no matter what I tried it didn’t seem to work. I couldn’t block out images of dying woman, the horrific Anakim standing over me, or my worry about my people and my angels.

  With a sigh, Uriel gave up for the day. He told me I would have to practice on my own. Only once I was able to clear my mind would I be able to learn how to build up a wall around it.

  Chapter Twelve

  I leaned back and closed my eyes as I felt the warm sun soaking into my skin. I was sitting at the lake Azrael had showed me. The water was too cold for swimming but there was the perfect amount of sun to bask in on the rocks. With my eyes closed, my sense of hearing was heightened. It was yet another quiet morning, with the majority of the angels on Terra. For all the times I had wished to be alone, I now was. And while some days I enjoyed it, I mostly missed hearing the sounds of activity that usually surrounded me in Aether. The usual bustle represented normalcy and its absence was just a constant reminder that things weren’t as they should be.

  As I sat there on the rocks my mind drifted off. Aether was still in waiting. We had no idea where the Anakim were hiding, or who the angel was that had brought them back into existence. It was a morbid thought and it frequently managed to find a way to creep up on me. I often had flashes of the woman giving birth to the Anakim. I felt traces of her pain course through my body and repeatedly I found myself shedding a few tears for her death. Of course, that pain I felt had not just been experienced by that one woman but rather it was still being felt, everyday by more and more women and those tears I shed were for all of them.

  I had heard that other prophets were continuing to have visions of these women dying in birth but I had had no more of my own. I was grateful that I was not the one to be having these visions. As horrible as it was for those prophets who were having those visions I was glad it was them experiencing it and not me. While it was a morbid sight to see, others did not have to experience the victim’s pain like I did.

  I heard a pained shriek and my eyes shot open, looking around frantically.

  No, there is no one there. I thought as I tried to calm my racing heart. I closed my eyes again, trying to remind myself that it was all in my head. Before I had closed my eyes though, I caught a glimpse of a dark fog rolling in.

  Don’t open your eyes, keep them closed Sage. It’s not real. My eyes didn’t obey me though, I found myself gazing in horror at the fog that was slowing creeping towards me. It surrounded me from all sides, I stood up to run but there was nowhere for me to go, the darkness had me trapped. It pulsed in a circle around me, not yet touching my skin and moving no closer. I prayed for it to go away, I would not allow it to touch me. I could not allow it to touch me.

  Slowly, a small tendril began to slither out from the mass of the fog.

  “No.” I said aloud. My voice was weak and pathetic.

  The tendril came closer but I did not move. I knew that if I moved backwards I would be enveloped into the fog. Instead I watched nervously as the tendril danced closer and closer to my leg. It curled itself around my ankle and I screamed and shook it off. It recoiled back into the mass before venturing out again. This time it was quick though, it shot it’s self out towards my ankle just as another tendril grabbed hold of my wrist.

  Panicking, I looked around me again as more of the tendrils slithered towards me. I willed my body to move, I had to get away. I would not let the darkness take me. My legs finally moved at my mind’s begging and I propelled myself off of the rock’s ledge. I was airborne but the fog was still around me, I closed my eyes as I prepared to hit the surface of the lake below me.

  It stung. It felt like needles were pricking every part of my skin. Although it hurt, I stayed underwater, sitting on the bottom of the lake. Eventually I risked opening my eyes. The water was crystal clear; the darkness had not followed me here. I pushed myself off of the lake’s floor and gasped for air as I reached the surface. I stayed in the water for a moment, my chest heaving as I breathed air into my lungs. I searched for the darkness but it was gone.

  I began to shiver terribly in the water. I dragged myself towards the shore and crawled out slowly, staying low to the ground to keep the bursts of wind at a minimum.

  “Sage!” I heard someone shout my name. I slowly stood up and saw Azrael’s radiant red-black hair whipping around her face as she ran towards me. Tremors shook my whole body; there was not a single part of me that was still. “What are you doing?”

  As she approached me she took off her cardigan and wrapped it around my shoulders. Though it didn’t provide much warmth I was still thankful for the attempt. She pressed me up against the side of her body, wrapping her arms around me.

  “I didn’t realize how cold it was.” My teeth chattered as I spoke. It was a pathetic excuse really but my brain was still defrosting.

  “You’re still wearing your clothes. Why would you swim with those? Something happened, Sage.” We began a slow walk towards my house.

  I didn’t say anything and I knew she was waiting for an explanation.

  “He knew something was wrong, but he couldn’t find you,” her voice was a whisper. I didn’t have to ask to know she meant Gabriel.

  “Please don’t tell him,” I begged her.

  “He needs to know what happened. I know that maybe you won’t tell me the truth but he deserves to know whatever it is.”

  “I’ll tell him, I promise. Just not right now, please Azrael.”

  “Fine. He’ll be at your house. I’ll take you to mine to change and get dry. Then we will go to yours.”

  I let out a sigh, thankful that I would have a little more time to figure out what was really going on with me before I shared with anyone else. Besides, I really didn’t need Gabriel to be worrying about me any more than he already did.

  It had taken some convincing, but I had finally assured Gabriel that I was fine and that I had just accidentally slipped and fell into the lake. He was really concerned with the fact that he couldn’t find me, and honestly I was a little frightened by that myself. It was easy for me to lose myself in that darkness so maybe that’s why it was difficult for Gabriel to find me, because I wasn’t sure I could find myself.

  Gabriel refused to leave my side for the rest of the day so we stayed at my house watching movies. We took turns, I would get to show one of my favorite movies then he would get to show one of his. His favorite movies mainly consisted of old black and white classics while my choices were more modern.

  He also wouldn’t let me lift a finger all day. If I started to get up from the couch to grab a snack he would rush up before me asking me what I wanted. He even cooked dinner and dessert.

  “You really are over protective, you know that right? I’m not going to hurt myself just from walking a few feet away from you,” I teased as I took a bite of the chocolate cake he had made. It was still warm, and caving in under its own deliciousness.

  “I don’t think you understand how scared I was today. I can always feel your fear, and then on top of that I feel my own. And today I couldn’t find you; my fear today went beyond anything I have ever felt and I have been alive for a long time.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. I knew it had to be hard for him, I knew his job must take its toll on his stress levels. This was exactly why I would not worry him with what had happened today. I would figure out how to handle it on my own.

  For the next week Gabriel refused to leave me alone. For the most part he was the one who stayed with me but there were a few times where Azrael, Michael, and Raphael would each have a turn. It was exhausting actually. Whenever I felt the darkness creeping in I had to make up an excuse to leave the room.

  Azrael was the most fun of course; she always had something planned for us. Som
etimes we went to the lake just to tan. Other times she brought stacks of magazines from Terra so that we could gossip about celebrities. She even would do my hair and makeup just for fun. That was something Azrael was really good at. She would practice different types of looks on my face and sometimes she even turned it into an art form. She created themes, patterns and exaggerations. That was my favorite of her activities, there is something so soothing about having your hair and makeup done. She thankfully never brought up the incident at the lake but I did sometimes feel the scrutiny of her gaze.

  When Raphael watched me it was interesting. We always ended up having these deep and meaningful conversations about life. He was probably the most intellectual angel I had met (next to Uriel of course). He had this love of information and he found any new piece of knowledge fascinating. I could tell him what year a certain show had been aired and he could have zero interest in that show but still be grateful that he could add that piece of information to his knowledge bank. In spending time with him, I learned that he spent his free time reading college textbooks, he even offered to teach me material from the courses that I was missing out on by being in Aether. He always managed to look at me in a way that made me understand just how important a role I played in Aether. He looked at me as if I really were the Goddess I supposedly am and he had complete faith in me.

  While Azrael brought out my fun side and Raphael brought out my intellectual side, Michael was another story. While the other two took charge in what we did, Michael always asked me what I wanted to do. If anything, he allowed me to be myself and while I loved spending time with Azrael and Raphael it was also nice to just do whatever I wanted. For the most part Michael and I would just hang out at my house and do normal lazy day things. We would watch T.V, play cards or board games, and Michael would always sneak away to Terra to pick up food so neither one of us would have to cook. We never told Gabriel of that part though, he would not have approved of Michael leaving me alone, even though it was never for more than five minutes.

  One evening though, instead of Michael coming to my house, he had asked me to come over to his. Gabriel had walked me over before going to help Uriel with a charge on Terra. Michael slipped through the front door before Gabriel got to open it.

  “I’ll get it from here,” he said with a smile.

  Gabriel eyed him suspiciously since Michael was clearly not letting him see inside their house. Michael taking out a blindfold to wrap around my head did not help either.

  “Relax.” Michael rolled his eyes at Gabriel’s tensed shoulders and balled up fists. What was that about anyways? “I have a surprise for her; I don’t want her to peek.”

  “Go, Uriel is waiting for you.” I smiled up at Gabriel with what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

  “I’ll pick you up here when I’m done with Uriel.” He threw one more confused look at Michael before walking away.

  I was a little nervous about being blindfolded, I was afraid it would resemble the darkness too closely. Thankfully, I felt Michael’s hands on my shoulders as he guided me into his house. His grip reassured me that I was still there with him and not in the dark world. It wasn’t the fog that was blinding me, just a piece of cloth.

  When Michael opened the door the first thing that hit me was the smell. It was a relaxing mixture of lavender and sage. When he took the blindfold off I saw that the room was lit only by candles (surely the source of the smell) and there were rose petals everywhere. In the center of the room was a massage table and off to the side was the dinner table set for two with dinner already served.

  “You set all this up?” I questioned while looking around.

  “Yeah, I figured you deserved a true relaxing night. I also have the bath set up for after dinner.”

  I raised a questioning eyebrow at that.

  “For you of course, not for me.” At least he had the decency to blush.

  We ate dinner first, and our conversation never drifted towards Asteria or the Anakim, for which I was grateful. After we had both finished eating I went to soak in the bath that Michael had drawn for me. When I slipped into the water I could feel that he had added bath salts to it. Given the choice I would have stayed in that tub all night, but I didn’t want to be rude and leave Michael alone for too long. I stayed for only thirty minutes before rejoining him in the living room.

  “Did you hire a masseuse or something?” I eyed the massage table.

  “Or something,” he said with a smile. He held up both of his hands and wiggled his figures. “As it turns out I’m very skilled at giving massages.”

  I was a bit skeptical about letting Michael give me a massage but a massage sounded perfect right about now and he was trying to give me a relaxing night.

  “Don’t worry; I’m not expecting you to take any articles of clothing off. I can give an excellent massage even with clothing.”

  I raised an eyebrow as I slowly climbed onto the table.

  “I’m trusting you not to try anything,” I warned before lying on my stomach.

  It turned out Michael was not exaggerating his massaging skills. I have had a couple of professional massages thanks to Danielle treating me sometimes but Michael was better than the professionals. I found myself letting out small, embarrassing sighs every now and then but Michael had the decency to not comment on them.

  “You spoil me too much lately.”

  “And I have no intention of stopping. You deserve it; you deal with the weight of the entire world. I see it on your face sometimes. I know it can’t be easy.” I tensed at his comment; afraid that maybe he knew about the darkness I kept fighting off. No, there was no way he could, if Gabriel hasn’t been able to figure it out then no one has. My secret was safe.

  He continued the massage session for a bit longer before informing me that it was time for dessert. He brought out a pie from the fridge that turned out to be peanut butter.

  “I’ll admit I had a little help from Azrael on this. I had never made a pie before, although it turned out to not be that difficult,” he explained as he brought me over a slice with a glass of milk.

  Michael played a movie that I had picked out and as he sat back down next to me on the couch I was very aware of how close to me he was. As the movie played he casually draped and arm across my shoulder and I found myself leaning into him slightly. It was a gesture that Gabriel often performed but with a different intention. While Gabriel’s gesture was for comfort Michael’s was for intimacy.

  He didn’t try to make any other moves for the rest of the movie. As the credits rolled onto the screen he shifted slightly so that he could look at my face.

  “I would like to take you out on a real date, Sage. Would you let me?”

  I quickly weighed that question in my head. I had fun around Michael and I felt no pressure around him.

  “Yes I would let you. Whether or not Gabriel would let you is another story,” I noted.

  “I think I could convince him.” He smiled as he leaned in towards me.

  This time when Michael kissed me Asteria was not present. It was just Michael and I, and his lips were soft against my own. His kiss was sweet with no pretense or urgency behind it.

  At first, I thought the dizziness I felt was a side effect of the kiss but all too suddenly I was pulled away from Michael’s living room. I vaguely remember hearing myself scream before I was enveloped into a vision.

  From the moment I stepped into the vision I knew it was different from my previous ones. I saw the Anakim in front of me. Scratch that, I saw multiple Anakim in front of me. I frantically looked around for the victim they were honed in on. It looked as if they were staring in my direction so I turned around thinking the victim was behind me but when I turned all I saw was solid wall.

  I was the victim.

  But how was that possible? I was in Michael’s living room; my mind is the only thing present in this vision. I looked down at my hands and realized they weren’t my own. They were far too tan and masculine to belong to me.r />
  I heard whimpers as the Anakim approached. I felt the fear coursing through me, the body that was not really my own was trembling. A foul, rotting smell hit me as they grew closer. I watched in horror as one lifted a claw and in one quick motion sliced it across my torso. I let out a scream, but the deep voice was not my own. The rest of the Anakim joined in now as well. My flesh was being ripped apart and torn from my body. The pain was excruciating. I wished they would just kill me but instead they took their time with my death. After what felt like hours my body was numb, blood was pooling everywhere and I felt my heartbeat slow and I closed my eyes and slipped into blackness.

  “Sage!” I felt Michael’s hands touching gently all over my body as if he did not know where it was safe to put them.

  When I opened my eyes I expected to be back in the dark room with blood covering the floor. Instead, I saw Michael’s concerned face and his living room still lit by candles with the credits of the movie just finishing up on the television.

  The door flung open and Gabriel stopped dead in his tracks at the scene. His face contorted into confusion as he took in the romantic setting. I didn’t give him much time before I threw myself into his arms.

  Without hesitation he enclosed me against his chest and I felt a surge of warmth as my pulse began to slow. He fixed his eyes on Michael accusingly.

  “What happened? What did you do to her!” I’d imagine Michael had to be pretty intimidated by Gabriel’s tone and the anger that seemed to vibrate off of him, even though Michael was not guilty of anything.

  “It was a vision, not anything Michael did.” My voice came out muffled but I knew Gabriel understood my words.

  Keeping an arm around me, Gabriel led me over to the couch so that I could explain what I had seen.

  Gabriel was concerned by the fact that I was now taking on the persona of the victim. Apparently he did not know of any reports of that occurring before and of course he wanted to speak to Uriel about it.

  “Michael, I need you to go get Uriel from Terra, I left him there when I felt that Sage was in trouble.”