Mending Hearts

by Brenda Kennedy

  “Or, if I think it’s too much, I’ll also call the doctors for help,” Leah states.

  “Fair enough. But, Leah, everyone talks about how hard it is to detox, to quit smoking, to lose or gain weight. They make those things sound impossible. For some people they may be difficult, maybe even impossible, but not for everyone. As a boxer, if I decided to lose ten pounds of fat, I lost it. If I decided to gain ten pounds of muscle, I gained it. When I decided to quit smoking cigars, I broke my cigars in half and stopped smoking cigars. I can do this. I have Motrin for detox symptoms and I have you. I also have willpower. But I will need one more thing to help me get through quitting drugs cold turkey.”

  “What is that?”

  “Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When I am released from the hospital, let’s swing by a grocery store and pick up some whole-wheat bread, strawberry jelly, and crunchy peanut butter.”

  “Did one of your doctors say this is necessary?”

  “No, I just like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Besides, I need to gain ten pounds, not necessarily of muscle. I am way too thin. Humans need some fat on their bodies to be healthy.”

  “I have one more thing that may help you quit cold turkey: a subscription to Netflix. Binge-watching Breaking Bad and A Game of Thrones may take your mind off other kinds of binging.”

  “Good idea. And I need chewing gum — lots of chewing gum.”

  The nurse comes into the room and I ask her if I can get tested for every disease possible. The past few months I have done many things that I am ashamed of. I know I am at risk of contracting many things through sharing of needles. I have always been a goal setter and achiever. My goals recently were to get high every day and to die soon of a drug overdose. My goals have now changed. If I ever gave something to Leah, because of my selfish acts, I would never forgive myself. I don’t ask in private and I don’t expect Leah to question me. She is a smart woman and she already knows. Molly was my partner and friend the last several months, but this is one part of my life that I never want to revisit. The relationship with Molly wasn’t love or lust, it was just about being with the person you are with. But I think Leah will be OK if I am friends — and just friends — with Molly.

  When the nurse leaves, Leah and I discuss me coming home. She tells me the house is as it was when I left. She tells me that so I have time to prepare myself to see Jamie’s room as she left it. She cries and tells me with losing her and then me, it was just too much. She also tells me she knew I would return, she just didn’t know when.

  Leah

  I remember that when I woke up from my coma it took me awhile before I remembered who I was. It also took me a while for me to learn where I was. Robert’s parents and my parents were in the room with me. The chaplain of the hospital came in my room while my family told me about losing Jamie in the car accident. Robert’s parents shamelessly hung their heads as they told me that their son walked out of my life. I knew Robert did that because he couldn’t face me. It didn’t make it any easier, but I knew the reason. I would have never blamed him for the accident as I would never blame his parents for him leaving me. He loved Jamie as much as I did.

  The day I went home from the hospital someone stayed with me every day and every night. I walked into the house and everything that belonged to Jamie was put away. Her shoes, her toys, and even her drawings on the refrigerator were no longer in sight. The only things left were the family pictures and portraits hanging on the wall or scattered around the house in various picture frames. I walked up the stairs and Jamie’s bedroom door was closed. I remember walking past it, with tears in my eyes, as I ran my fingers gently across the door. I couldn’t go in; I didn’t want to. Although she has been gone for several months, it has only been a few days for me. I mourned the loss of my daughter and I mourned the loss of my husband. Life isn’t fair, I thought.

  Robert and I did everything we were supposed to as parents. Jamie had the safest baby bed, stroller, and car seat that money could buy, she went to the doctor’s as she was supposed to, and she never missed her vaccinations. Polio has been mostly eradicated because of vaccines. In my opinion, parents can love their children but still kill their children by not vaccinating them. Vaccines are an easy way to help ensure your child’s long-term health and Robert and I did our part to make sure our Jamie was healthy. The accident that claimed Jamie’s life had nothing to do with Robert’s and my parenting skills.

  The first time I went to the cemetery, I made my parents wait for me in the car. I walked up to the tombstone that both sets of Jamie’s grandparents chose for her, carrying a bouquet of wildflowers. I chose wildflowers because I felt like my life was nothing but a wild ride. Jamie was too young to have a favorite flower, so I got her a variety. The tombstone was beautiful, made of black granite with gold lettering. I stayed there for I have no idea how long. I prayed to Jamie or to God and asked them to bring my Robert home to me. I had no idea how to move on without either of them.

  I very seldom left the house and I took my anti-depressants as prescribed. I have no idea how I functioned every day. After a couple months, I insisted everyone leave. The anti-depressants were working, and I came to terms that this is the best that it will get. Time will have to heal the rest of me. I went to church as often as I could and believed that my Robert would come back to me.

  When Robert started making a substantial amount of money from boxing, we bought a house and invested in an annuity that started paying out right away so that we would have a monthly income for the rest of our lives. I was surprised when Robert left that he didn’t take anything with him. No money and no personal property except for Jack Rabbit. The annuity was in my name. I was always better with finances than Robert was.

  When he came back, I accepted that he wasn’t the same Robert he once was. He made bad choices and I chose to accept them and him. I know he wasn’t in his right mind and his judgment was clouded by grief. I also know Molly tried to help him in many ways just as he tried to help Molly. The world he lived in the past several months — I don’t pretend to try to understand it. I’m just glad to have my Robert home with me.

  Emma

  I bathe the kids and get them settled in bed before Alec gets home. I am sitting in our bed reading when he finally walks into the room.

  He says, “I’m sorry I’m late.”

  “I was waiting up for you. Is everything all right?” I lay the book I am reading down and wait for him to answer.

  “It’s fine. I learned that you and Mason got Molly in one of the best treatment centers in South Florida.”

  “Did Mason tell you that?”

  “Molly told me that. She is very appreciative that you went to Mason for help and that she is on her way to recovery.” Alec bends down and kisses me before sitting beside me on the bed.

  “All of a sudden I feel like I was sneaking around behind your back. I didn’t mean to make it seem like that.”

  “I’m a little confused as to why you would go to Mason for help and not me.”

  I sit up straighter in bed and prop a pillow behind me. “Mason told me once if I ever needed anything he would do his best to help me.” I clear my throat and add, “I know you would have tried to help Molly, but I also knew Mason would go above that.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  “Because Molly has never stuck with any programs before and I know you have tried everything you can to help her. I know this sounds bad and it isn’t coming out right.”

  “No, Emma, I know what you are saying.”

  I watch as he cracks his knuckles.

  He adds, “I’m not sure I would have looked for help outside of the county. Sadly, I didn’t think to place her far enough away that she can’t come home.”

  “Alec, you have no reason to apologize about that. Mason said he owed me for staying with Angel during her accident, and although I don’t think he owes me anything, I did go to him for help.”

  “It’s a good thing you did. Because
of him she leaves tomorrow for Miami. She is going to a 45-day, 12-step recovery center.”

  “That is great news. What about her friend? Is he going with her?”

  I listen intently as Alec explains to me about Bobby, his wife, and his deceased daughter. I tear up listening about his child’s death and the way he left his wife. How sad to think that people feel like there is no other choice but to leave or to walk away. He also tells me that Bobby was a pro-boxer and he and his wife are going to work on their marriage while he detoxes from home.

  Alec showers and I search, using Google, for Bobby Grether. A newspaper article comes up with a picture of Bobby after one of his wins. I read about his boxing career and how he fought a champion boxer and just barely lost the fight. I also read about the drunk driver who caused the accident that claimed his daughter’s life. I scroll through several pictures of the wreckage and I cringe. I read another article about Bobby and his wife, Leah, both being in comas after the accident. I see a picture of their daughter’s funeral, and both of her parents are missing. The last article is where they charged the older man who caused the accident with vehicular homicide. He was a habitual drunk driver. Saddened and heartbroken from his loss, I dream of Max. Sadly Max doesn’t visit me in this dream.

  I have work the next day, but I call Sara to see if I can go in late. Alec and I drop James off at Brooke’s house, then we stop by Sam and Bridget’s to get Bobby’s things from the car. We then take Raelynn to the hospital with us so she can visit with her mother.

  When we walk into Molly’s room, she is up and dressed in her regular clothes. She sees Raelynn and Molly’s face lights up. Raelynn runs to her and hugs her tightly. Molly winces.

  “Careful, Raelynn, your mommy’s ribs are sore,” Alec says, walking into the room after me.

  “Ok, daddy, I’ll be careful.”

  Alec says, “It looks like you are getting ready to leave.”

  “I am within the next hour. I spoke with the doctor, and he spoke with the treatment center in Miami. I’m just waiting on mom and dad to get here,” Molly says as she plays with Raelynn’s long hair. “Hi, Emma.”

  “Hi, Molly, you’re looking well today.”

  Molly sits on the bed and Alec lifts Raelynn up to sit beside her. “Thank you, they gave me something for my detox symptoms. Emma, I need to thank you for helping me. I want you to know I appreciate it so much.”

  “I really didn’t do anything. I just called Mason and he made the calls and set everything up.”

  “That may be true, but you got Mason involved. Alec, I also want to thank you for all of your help in the past. I know how much you tried and wanted me to get help. I’m sorry, I was in a really bad place in my life.”

  I watch as Alec nods to her.

  “Mommy, are you going to get better now?” Raelynn asks, innocently.

  “Raelynn, I will be gone for a few weeks, so I can get help, but when I come back, mommy will be all better.”

  “Yay!” Rae says, excitedly.

  The door slowly opens and in walks a good-looking, blond-haired man carrying a dozen red roses. I move over closer to stand near the wall so he can walk through.

  “Hello, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

  “Adam, please come in. How did you know I was here?” Molly asks, smiling.

  Adam slowly walks past Alec with a nod and says, “Alec came to the church and told me you were here. Is this a good time? He also called and told me they moved you out of I.C.U.”

  “Yes, of course it is a good time. Please, come in.”

  Molly introduces everyone, including Raelynn, to her friend Adam McDaniel. After a few minutes Alec, Raelynn, and I say our goodbyes. We still need to go and return Bobby’s things to him. Raelynn hugs and kisses her mother and Molly promises to see her as soon as she can. Raelynn promises to make her glittery get-well cards and send them to her, every day.

  We pass Sam and Bridget in the hallway nearest to the elevators.

  “You’re already leaving?” Bridget asks as she hugs Raelynn.

  “We both have work, and I need to get these items to Bobby before he leaves,” Alec explains. “Molly has company, so we didn’t want to stay.”

  “Oh, I wonder who would be visiting her?” Sam asks.

  “It’s someone from Addicts Anonymous. She has been attending some classes they have at the church,” Alec says. “I’m sorry, but we need to go. I’ll talk to you guys soon.”

  We get in the elevator and Alec pushes the button for the 7th floor.

  “Ok, see you guys soon,” Sam says as they walk away.

  We return the clothes and stuffed rabbit to Bobby and his wife, but we stay only briefly. Alec takes me to work before he drops off Raelynn at Brooke’s before he goes to work.

  The next two weeks go by in a blur. My birthday is next week and Alec is planning something, but I have no idea what. Molly is still in rehab and doing well. She still isn’t allowed phone calls or visitors, but I know Mason and Alec use their M.D. status to call and get updates on her. Raelynn and James make glittery get-well cards, and Alec and I mail them daily. I used to put the art supplies away every day, but now I just leave them in the corner of the room. I know we’ll be using them again tomorrow. The glitter is now embedded into the carpeting in every room. It is also in the laundry room and outside on the porch. I’m thinking of starting a business in which people get revenge on their enemies/exes anonymously by paying me to send glittery cards to them. That is certainly sweet revenge. Written in glitter on each card will be the words “REVENGE IS A DISH SERVED COLD AND GLITTERY.”

  Alec and I close on our new house, but we haven’t talked about what we’ll do with my house. I don’t see a need to keep it, so we’ll need to sell or lease it.

  Angel invited everyone over to help paint the nursery. Sara, Brea, and I thought now would be a good time to throw her a baby shower. We invited Mason’s mom, dad, and sister, and Angel’s aunt and uncle and her elderly neighbors, Josephine and Carl. Since the party is being held at the guest of honor’s house and it is a surprise, we couldn’t decorate for the party early.

  We designated each person to bring something and thankfully everything fell in place. Mason and Angel were both surprised. We played a game with scrambled nursery rhymes where you had to unscramble the letters to name the nursery rhyme. Josephine won that game; it was hard.

  We also played a game where you cut a piece of string that you think would fit perfectly around Angel’s belly. This game didn’t have a winner because Angel refused to be measured to see which string came closer. The fact that the guys played this game and intentionally cut strings way too long didn’t help. We laugh and it was funny.

  We had food before Mason and Angel opened their gifts. They received two of everything — it was a bit overwhelming. There were two infant swings, two car seats, two bouncy seats, and matching boy and girl clothes.

  The guys painted the nursery while the girls sorted through everything and cleaned up. It was an ingenious idea. I guess the day turned out to be a big party with some painting getting done. We all had a really great time, and I was amazed at all the wonderful gifts they got. It was also nice that they didn’t have to load up the gifts and take them to their home since they were already home.

  After taekwondo Alec says, “I met with Mason today at lunch.”

  “Is everything all right with Angel and the twins?”

  “She’s fine, but her doctor wants her to stop working and take it easy. As you know, because of the twins, she is at high risk of going into pre-term labor.” He watches me and says, “But that isn’t the reason I met with him.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “He wants me to go ahead and quit my job so I can start working with him.”

  “That’s exciting,” I say, smiling.

  “And a little frightening. I’ll be leaving my only job I have had as a doctor to work with Mason at his private practice.”

  I ask, “Are you afra
id of failing?”

  Alec cracks his knuckles as he often does when he is stressed. “I don’t have the clientele built up like he does and it is his business.”

  “He wants a partnership, right?” I ask.

  “He does. He wants me to meet with his dad, Donovan, and him so we can talk about dividing everything down the middle. He is also willing to share his patients with me, since he has so many.”

  “What’s the matter? It sounds too good to be true.”

  “Exactly, it does sound way too good to be true,” he says.

  “Mason is your friend. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

  “I don’t think so either, but it is such a big step.”

  Alec

  I meet Mason, Donovan, and Mason’s dad, Bruce, at Donovan’s law firm. Mason had everything split down the middle as he said he would. We will split the cost to run the medical practice and the income earned from the patients. On paper, this looks like it will be a very lucrative partnership.

  I stand up from the table and smile as I shake Bruce’s and then Donovan’s hands. Mason walks up to me with a smile to match my own. He cups my shoulder, leans into me for an embrace, and says, “Congratulations, I am looking forward to our new partnership.”

  “Thank you. I am, too. Thank you for choosing me to partner up with.”

  “Alec, you were my only choice. I’m excited to see what we can do together,” Mason says, cupping my shoulder.

  I go to work and turn in my already typed out letter of resignation. I informed them ahead of time that I’ll be turning it in. I also gave a three-week notice. I wanted them to have plenty of time to find my replacement.

  I call Emma and tell her about the meeting and ask her would she mind if I let Angel pick out the furniture for my office. Since Angel is mostly on bed rest, I thought this might help her pass the boredom. She decorated Mason’s office, the patients’ rooms, and the double waiting rooms. I guess she decorated the entire building and she has exquisite taste.

  Emma and I make plans to have dinner tonight to celebrate. We changed our schedule at taekwondo to Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesdays and Fridays worked out perfectly for Raelynn and me, but since I met Emma, we tend to do more things on Fridays together and as a family.