by Valia Lind
"What's happening?" the last word gets lost in the roar, Brendan and I turning toward the sound as one. For the first time, I notice the sword in his hands. "Elizabeth?"
"They're here. They're here for you."
"What do you mean, for me?"
The noise, more like a growl now, shakes the foundation of the house. I grab for the nearest wall, my eyes flying to Brendan's. In the next moment, he's thrusting a sword into my own hands.
"While we're protected in here, we can't stay. We have to go and you have to fight. This is just like what we've trained for."
"Yeah, except for whatever giant monstrosity is outside these walls!"
"Calista," Brendan cups my face with his hands. "You are a Warrior. You have always been a Warrior. You’ve done this before and you can do it again. I have faith in you."
The intensity of his gaze makes my insides burst with feeling. His hands on my face is the sweetest sensation. I forget the world, forget the noise and the darkness. I just want to put my head on his shoulder and let him take away all the madness. It's a new kind of a feeling, wanting someone to take care of you.
Not just someone.
Brendan.
I want Brendan with a pure raw desire, like I've never wanted anything in my life. Even without all of my memories intact, I know that is true.
It's almost like he can see it in my eyes. His expression changes, just for a moment, to something almost like hope. He opens his mouth to speak, but another shudder goes through the house, destroying whatever words might've been on his lips. Setting them in determination, he drops his hands from my face, grabbing for his sword again.
"There's nothing we can't handle. Together."
I know that's not what he wanted to say, but the words warm my heart and seal my own determination. I give him a small smile, making a silent promise that we will talk about this later. I turn to Elizabeth, who's been watching us quietly, and she grabs my free hand in both of hers.
"I wish I could help you further, child. But you have to remember to trust your heart. If nothing else, it will lead you where you need to go."
She glances over my shoulder, and without turning I know Brendan is watching us. Maybe it's a promise she can't make, but I grasp it with all of my hope and store it in the broken parts of my heart. If there is hope, there is nothing this world or other, can throw my way that I cannot handle.
The house shakes again and the illusion of safety shatters. For some reason, I'm not as terrified as they are, but I play my role.
"Why can't we stay? We can protect this house."
"We can't get into perehod from inside the house. It's the In Between of our realms. It's our best bet right now. We need to draw them away from here and the town." Brendan explains at my confused expression. "The house is warded for protection, but it's also keeping us grounded. We have to make a break for the woods." he says, moving to one of the windows to look out.
"Are you going to be alright?" I ask Elizabeth.
"They won't come in. They wouldn't dare to mess with a Keeper. And not on sacred ground." As I watch her speak, I see the power radiating off her and I believe her words are true.
"But if they can’t—“
"If they can't come in, Calista," Elizabeth interrupts softly, yet firmly, "They will kill everyone around here to draw you out. They won't stop until they have you."
"She's right," Brendan says, stepping up, "We have to fight them, but we can't do that here. We have to take the fight somewhere where we're on even ground." I nod, because it's the only thing left to do.
More than anything, at this moment, I'm curious. I want to go out there and face whatever is chasing me. The darkness inside of me rears its ugly head, as if waking up from a long nap. Just like that, I have no doubt I can handle myself, but I doubt Brendan would appreciate my tactics. It's why I'm playing the role of a damsel. Suddenly, it's like I'm a different person and I can't decipher my emotions or actions.
I push the journal into his hands for safe keeping and watch as he places it into his mesto. I grab Elizabeth in a tight hug, then turn back to Brendan waiting for instructions. The determination is etched in my features, my heart beating in sync with my steps.
"I can give you just a few moments of distraction." She doesn't wait for a response. Elizabeth takes off to the back of the house, raising her hands high in the air. The door opens in front of her and she's swallowed by the light. That's the last thing I see before I'm running after Brendan.
He sprints through the room, and I'm fast on his heels. Grabbing for the window seal on one of the walls on the side of the house, he jumps, landing solidly on his feet. I'm not quite so graceful, but I stick close to him as best as I can. The trees seem farther away than they actually are. I can feel the light all around me, but I don't dare turn. I just hope Elizabeth is alright. We're almost through the green when I'm tackled from behind.
I cry out, but have enough sense to flip over as I land. My back smacks into the ground beneath me and I'm almost fast enough to block the kick to the ribs. A foot connects with my side, knocking all the wind out of my lungs. I twist out of the way as the giant tries that trick again. My hand closes around my discarded sword, then I'm on my knees, swiping it across his stomach. His guts spill, but I don't wait to see what happens next. I jump to my feet, as another comes toward me.
My focus sharpens. My eyes taking in the scene all at once. Brendan is to my left, performing his own battle dance with two of the monsters. The house is to my right, but I can't see where Elizabeth has gone. There are three of the disfigured creatures in front of me, and they're coming toward me. Everything slows down. My eyes scan over the broken skin, the too big for the body legs and arms, looking for some type of weakness in the monsters. I take a deep breath, moving as if in slow motion, my hands and feet performing of their own command.
My right foot steps forward as I thrust the blade at the closest attacker. He shouts, but the noise doesn't register through the hum in my own ears. I'm already moving on to the next one. There is no hesitation in my movements, no question. It's as if another has taken over my body, doing what must be done. I flip my body around, the strength in my arm cutting the other deep through his thigh. The blood sprays all around me, but I'm already moving on. The majyk is so close to the surface, but I keep it at bay. It's not the majyk of the warrior and I know it. It's the majyk I've been taught to hold back since birth.
The shouts of the battle echo through the woods. I try to push closer to Brendan, to follow him as he leads the creatures into the trees, but three have taken the place of the ones I've slain and I'm surrounded. My sword is yanked out of my hands as I'm slammed to the ground.
"Brendan!" I yell, but he's no longer in sight. The stench of the creatures is seeping into my skin, making me gag in reflex. They grab me from every side, my shirt ripping from shoulder down. I kick and squirm, but they're too strong for me.
I'm going to die.
"No!" I scream as my mind registers the word. I may not know everything about who or what I am, but I know this. I will not be destroyed. I close my eyes against the panic, I work at pushing it back.
Pushing at the physical agony that threatens to overwhelm all common sense.
The places where they're holding me burn with pain. I hear Brendan shouting in the distance and that's all the power I need. His voice sharpens my focus, brings me back to myself. I am stronger than this.
I let myself go slack, calm against the raging emotions. The creatures stumble with the newfound weight and when my back touches the ground I reach for the earth. The grass shifts, tripping the creatures where they stand. I don't wait for them to react, I'm already moving.
They're reaching for me, shouting curses in a language I don't understand, but it's as if the earth is no longer even under their feet. I feel myself connect to the nature around me, pull on those moments of control. I let my lips curve into a smile as I flip over one of the creatures, reaching for my knives. The moment t
hey're in my hand, I attack. There's no more panic, there's no more pretend. I'm a killing machine and they are not getting out of here alive. The comforting presence of the metal in my hands is all the encouragement I need. I can do this. I did it before and I will do it again.
I attack with a kind of feverish delirium. The creature in front of me takes a swing at my head with his large claws, but I duck right on time. I drive my knee into his groin before plunging my knife straight into his neck. With the precision of the contact, I feel the flesh and blood spill over my hand where it connects with his.
They will not break me. I am a warrior. I reach for my discarded sword, plunging it deep into the stomach of the creature that rushes at me. I twist, fast on my feet, ready for the next one.
The head of the last monster comes off with one clean swipe.
23
I'm racing towards Brendan, even before the body of the creature hits the ground.
The sound of swords clashing guides me deeper into the woods, my hand reaching out to skim over the leaves of the nearest tree. Once again, the comfort is instantaneous. I'm smiling when I burst through the bushes. Then, I freeze as my heart is about to burst at the sight.
Brendan is pinned to the ground, a sword at his throat and head. The two monsters tower over him, the other four surrounding them. I don't stop to think, I'm swinging my sword before they have a chance to notice me.
The first two go down with a bang, and the others are not quite fast enough to react, before I'm coming for them as well. I notice Brendan is on his feet, so I must've sufficiently distracted them to loosen their hold. I swipe at the creature in front of me, blocking as he swings his sword which is the size of my arm. Metal slams against metal, and I feel the impact all over my body. I shake my head to clear the fog away, step to the left, plunging my sword into his neck.
"Cali!" I turn to find Brendan a few feet behind me, his arm beckoning me to him. I pull my sword out, and sprint after him. We race through the woods, the sound of reinforcements close on our heels. They’re like roaches. They keep on coming no matter how many I've killed.
Murdered.
That's what I've committed, murder. I've never thought I could do something like that. The justifications of my actions instantly race through my mind: I killed because I wasn't going to be killed. I killed to protect Brendan. Yet, I don't feel as guilty as I should. There is almost a kind of a peace inside of me at doing what I’ve done.
"Come on, just a little farther."
I don't know where we're headed, but I follow close behind. Brendan weaves a path through the woods, keeping his gaze on our surroundings. I should be doing that as well, but I can only focus on moving. The fatigue of the battle is catching up to me, but we can't stop. They're right behind us.
The branches seem to open up in front of us as we move. My feet feel heavy, my arm holding the sword shakes. Yet, I don't stop. I don't complain. I keep moving. That's all that I can ever do. Just keep on moving.
Suddenly, Brendan stops, grabbing me and pinning me to him. I gasp at the contact, the feeling of his body against mine is perfection. He twines us together, keeping me as close as possible. He stares down at my face for a moment, almost coming to some kind of decision.
"Close your eyes, Cali." He whispers and I do, because I trust him completely. I trust him with my life. I gasp at an otherworldly sensations that runs over my skin, feeling Brendan tuck me in even closer. Then, we're swept away.
It feels like falling. It feels like flying. I keep my eyes shut, anchoring myself to the feel of Brendan all around me. I don't question what's happening, I just let him lead me where we need to go.
We're rushing through the clouds.
We're soaring the skies.
Then, we're landing on the hard ground.
Brendan twists at the last moment, taking the blunt of the contact. I'm on top of him, our arms and legs still intertwined. I try to stand, grab for my sword, anything besides being so unprepared, but his arms are keeping me pinned. So instead, I glance around.
We're still in the forest, but we're in a part I haven't seen before. I strain to hear our pursuers but they're no longer right behind us. Weird.
My attention turns to the boy laying beneath me, his breathing hard and exhausted, mirroring my own. His eyes are closed, almost as if in concentration, that little frown creasing his brow. I reach over, running my hand over the spot above his eyes and they fly open to meet mine. There's a fire there I've seen before. The same fire that burns within me every time he's around. We stare at each other, drinking in every detail. Maybe it's the adrenaline still coursing through my body, but it's alive with all kinds of sensations. There's nothing more I want to do than reach over and kiss that gorgeous mouth. My cheeks heat up at my thoughts and I pray he can't read the want on my face.
"Are you alright?" he's the first to break the silence. I nod, unable to form coherent words and push against his chest. "Stay." Is all he says, and I stop trying to get away. His arms wind around my body, keeping me close. He exhales and I realize he needs this. Comfort? Assurance? I'm not sure, but I let my own arms pull him close and we stay like that for a moment.
For the first time, I feel like he's showing me exactly how he feels. Maybe it's because we almost died a few minutes ago. Maybe it's because he's afraid we're not going to make it much farther. I don't want to think of that, of the what if's. I just focus on the feel of his arms around me, the beat of his heart against my own. His scent is pure, comforting. His touch real and true.
He feels like my whole world.
After a few moments, he's the first to pull away. He sits up, with me still in his arms, before pushing me away so he can study me. His eyes roam over every inch of me, adding to the growing heat inside me.
"Are you injured?"
"Surprisingly, no. Just some scratches and bruises." I can already feel the majyk of the nature performing its healing mojo on me.
"We should keep moving. I only put a few miles between us. I can't carry you much farther than that. It's too draining."
"How where you able to do that anyway?" I ask, as we begin walking.
"You didn't know what was happening. You just trusted me, so your mind couldn't block it."
I don't say anything as I mull that over. With the amount of energy pumping through my veins, I think I could do that on my own, but I won't say that to him. He can't know.
"We should be coming out on the other side of the forest soon. We'll get a car in town and get out of here. Take what we learned to Maxwell. Maybe he can find something in your journal that you missed. Hopefully he can help."
"I thought we were going to that in between place?" I ask.
"I don't think I can get us in right now. It would be safer to put some miles between us and them."
Those are the only words said for the next thirty minutes. I know for a fact I could take us anywhere we need to go on my majyk alone, but I can't tell Brendan that. I don't know how to explain to him the darkness that burns in my veins. I could've taken all of those creatures out with a thought, but the training kicked in before the desire. For that, I should be thankful.
I'm not ready to come to terms with who I am. Not yet.
When we emerge from the forest, it's just starting to get dark. I'm exhausted, my body more tired than it's ever been. I know Brendan can tell because he's been walking a lot slower the past few minutes. Or maybe he's just as tired as I feel. We're both caked in blood and sweat. My limbs feel like they've been run over by a truck. I want to sit down and rest, which makes me ask the question I forgot to earlier.
"How exactly are we getting a car?"
"Elizabeth said she has a few at the garage, by the park we went to. She said we can take the truck."
"And when did you have this all enlightening conversation?"
Bitterness laces my words, but I'm once again on the sidelines of my own life and I can't help but be upset by it. Brendan notices, of course.
"We're no
t trying to keep you out of the loop," Brendan says, running a hand over his face. I clench and unclench my hands, trying to keep my cool.
"Oh really? Because you're very good at it. It's like a sport for you. You don't consider how this makes me feel—“
"I do consider!" he turns on me then, anger blazing within his gaze, but I don't back down. Standing my ground, I glare right back at him, even as his raised voice takes me by surprise. "I consider every little detail with painstaking concentration. I'm trying to protect you here—“
"I don't need you to protect me!" It's my turn to shout. "I need you to trust me to protect myself. Isn't that what partners do? Isn't that what we are?" At least.
I don't add that last part, but it's as if he hears it anyway. This tension between us, the constant need for the closeness, it's there. I'm not making it up. I've been drawn to him from the moment he stepped into my life and I know it's the same for him.
"Cali, we are partners." He says, more softly. "And I do trust you. There are just some things that you don't understand—“
"Who's fault is that exactly?" If he thinks I'm going to just forgive and forget, he's got another thing coming. I'm really over being the complacent chess piece that him, Maxwell, and who knows who else, keep moving around. The majyk that is always so close to the surface begins to bubble inside of me and it takes all of my concentration to keep it down.
"I do these things because they are the best for everyone."
"I think it's for me to decide what is best for me." I almost growl, holding on to my last shred of control.
"You aren't capable of deciding anything!" The shout echoes around us, the words wrapping a tight cord around my heart. I gasp at the truth, taking a step away from Brendan. He shuts his eyes for a second, but I catch the regret there as clearly as I feel my own.
"So that's what you think of me? Thank you for clearing that up."
