by Valia Lind
I don't wait for a response, turning on my heels and walking away. I know he opens his mouth to say something, but the rigid set to my shoulders shuts him up. After a moment, I hear him move behind me, but we don't speak again. The hurt and betrayal burns through my skin. He doesn't see me as an equal. He sees me as a little girl in need of babysitting.
Well, I'm going to show him. He has no idea who he's messing with, and now, there's nothing keeping me from being myself. Whatever messed up notions I may have had about Brendan evaporate with his words. I won't cry, no matter how much my eyes want to burst. I have my answers and now I have to deal with them.
At least now I know where I stand.
We're on the road for fifteen minutes when Brendan slams on the brakes, pulling the truck to the side of the road.
I grab for the dashboard, as we halt with a squeal of the tires. I glance around us, trying to pinpoint what caused Brendan to stop, and I see nothing but the trees. Turning to him with a puzzled expression on my face, I notice just how tightly he's gripping the steering wheel.
"I'm messing everything up." His voice finally shatters the quiet around us. Brendan turns to me, his gaze intense on my own. There's something in his eyes I've never seen before, something I don't have a name for right now. He watches me, studying me like a man who has never seen the stars, but he doesn't continue.
"What do you mean?" I ask, afraid it'll make him refuse to say more, afraid it won't. He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly, before the words pour out of him in a rush.
"You have no idea how truly important you are, Calista. Not just to the empire. To me. Everything I've done since the beginning was to insure your safety. I know you can take care of yourself. I was there during your training. I know that you're the fastest, smartest, most efficient warrior in the lands. But no matter how much you can take care of yourself, I want to be the one taking care of you. Don't you understand just how important you are to me? How much I wish things were different so I could tell you exactly how I feel? I wish you could remember. Because it would break my heart, but it would heal yours."
He doesn't wait for a reply, leaving the words slashed across my body like paint. I'm trying to process the meaning, as he stumbles out of the cab and into the street.
I want to claim victory, because I feel as if he's finally opening up to me. But I can't. Whatever secrets are keeping him back, keeping him away from me, are still there. I wait a minute, then follow him out of the truck.
Coming to stand beside him, we watch the forest growing restless in front of us. It's as if the birds and the trees can feel the tension between us. It's so thick, it feels larger than a wall. But that's exactly what's been keeping us apart all this time, isn't it? I'm missing a huge part of the puzzle, but somehow I know it's not Brendan's fault. He's just a pawn in the grand scheme of things. Just like I am.
My hand reaches out, as if on its own, my fingers entwining with his. I feel his breath hitch at the contact, the electrical current running up my fingertips and straight to my soul. His fingers wrap around mine in a perfect fit, his touch calming my fears and doubts.
"Brendan," I begin, because I know I have to say something. The boy standing next to me is not the same warrior I've come to know. This is a different side of him, and I feel like—no I know—that I'm the only one who's ever seen it.
"I may not remember my life the way I ought to, but I don't have to remember to know how I feel. How I've always felt."
"Cali—“
"No, let me finish. Ever since you've come into my life, I've felt like I found a piece of me that's been missing. No matter what happens, what our future holds for us, I needed you to know that. You are a part of me, plain and simple." I say it, but nothing is truly simple. I push the doubts away, watching him shudder at my words, but I'm not done.
"You have taught me how to be myself, how to be the kind of a person I'm supposed to be. You have guided me through hell and held me while I cried. I wouldn't be standing here right now if it wasn't for you. Don't ever doubt just how important you are to me, Brendan."
"Cali, I—“ Whatever he's about to say is drowned out by the shrill of his cell phone. Frustrated at being interrupted, he reaches for his phone, pushing send.
"What?" he barks into the receiver.
"Hello to you too," I can hear Maxwell's voice on the other line.
"Ask about Cali," Jemma almost yells in the background and I can't help but chuckle.
"She's fine," Brendan replies, giving me a look. "What's up?"
"Wow, such warm reception. I wonder exactly what I'm interrupting." There's laughter in Maxwell's voice, and I'm sure if he was standing in front of us right now, he would be getting decked in the face.
"Get on with it."
"Fine, grumpy pants. I found a passage in one of the journals that speaks of the kind of spell that was put on Cali. It doesn't go into details, just mentions the danger of mind tampering and the outburst of energy it causes on the rest of the world. I think that's what started all the storms. Cali's crossing. The spell must've triggered some kind of an aftershock. And once the Shadowlands crossed over, who knows how they managed that, the majyk just kept on having that negative effect. It's spreading. It's not just in the states anymore. The news talked about earthquakes swallowing buildings in northern Germany today. It's getting worse by the day."
"So it's my fault the world is being destroyed?" I ask, my voice coming out a lot calmer than I thought it would. I've been wondering why the sudden unexplained weather seems to follow me around, and apparently, so have the boys.
"Calista," Brendan grabs me by the shoulders, keeping me rooted in place, "It's not your fault. Whoever did this to you is at fault here. Never you, do you understand me?" I nod because that's all I can do and it seems to satisfy Brendan for the moment. He puts the phone back to his ear, pursuing his lips in concentration.
"Is there any way to slow the process? Or better yet, reverse it?"
"I think once Cali breaks the bond with the spell, we can maybe slow it down. But you're right Brendan. It's not Cali's fault because this would be happening either way."
"What do you mean?" I ask and I know he can hear me.
"I mean, that the Master of Shadowlands has a plan. And that plan includes destroying everything in his path. That's why he needs the relic so much. And you. They can harness the power to open the gates and take control of every realm. This one included."
"What about my mark?" I ask, suddenly remembering the tattoo on my hip.
"What mark?" Maxwell's voice comes over the line as clear as day. Brendan and I exchange a look, unsure on how to explain exactly what happened. "Guys?"
"It appeared on Cali's hip after she touched a picture of it in her journal."
"What? I can't really hear you. Brendan?" Suddenly, the static overpowers Maxwell's voice, the noise drowning him out completely.
"Maxwell?" Brendan shouts into the receiver, to no avail. Grunting in frustration, he shuts the phone off, running his hand through his hair.
"Okay, that doesn't really help. Just provides us with more questions." I place my hands on my hips, frustration evident in my every word.
"We'll figure it out, Cal. We always do."
I know he means for his words to be reassuring, but for some reason they have the opposite effect. His promise makes me nervous in the way I can't explain. If nothing else, it sounds like a threat to me. The wind tussles my hair around my face, pushing strands of it into my eyes. Another storm is coming, I can feel it in my bones.
"We need to go." Brendan says, leading me back to the truck.
I don't make it.
A memory bursts into my brain with the speed of a flying bullet. I see a flash of the tattoo, hear a voice speaking words I don't understand and then pain. It's sudden and I cry out, stumbling before I reach the passenger door. Brendan is there, like always, catching me before I hit the ground.
"Cali?" The wind is stronger now, wrapping itself a
round us like a cocoon. I feel like someone is digging through my soul. I'm shouting, screaming, clawing at the agony. My mark is a burning stabbing sensation, spreading over my body. I'm gasping, trying to catch my breath as the dark clouds roll over us, making everything fall into shadows.
"Cali, come on. We have to go."
But I can't move. I'm completely useless. A sack of lifeless bones weighing on Brendan. He tries to drag me, but my feet seem to be planted solidly into the ground.
"They're coming. They're coming."
The words tumble out, with no recollection of me even thinking them. I shut my eyes against the pain, and I open them as another wave of torment rushes over my body. I scream, my back arching in Brendan's arms, neither one of us knowing what to do. And then, it starts raining.
Just as suddenly as it came, the pain disappears. We're soaked in seconds, and I take a moment to catch my breath, leaning fully into Brendan's arms.
"Are you alright?" he has to shout to be heard over the storm.
Instead of replying, I nod, placing my head on his shoulder as I try to calm my racing heart. After a moment, I raise my face to look up at Brendan. He studies me, concern etched on his features, before it turns into something else. He leans closer, until our breath mingles together.
"Well, look what we have here."
The hiss comes from behind us, and we turn, ready for battle in the same move. But it's already too late. The storm has masked their movements. Our own distraction gave them the upper hand.
We're surrounded.
24
They grab Brendan first.
He's still holding me up, this wave of pain taking much more out of me than before, so he's not quick enough to defend himself. I push away from him, trying to give him space, but they're on me in the next moment. Three of them grab Brendan, while the other three grab me.
I'm kicking and scratching, trying to land some kind of contact with no results. I'm weakened by my vision, exhausted from our previous fight. We're not prepared to defend ourselves, and a part of me knows it's my fault.
The majyk rises within me, but almost automatically, I push it down. It's a reflex that I don't understand, but I know deep down, it's what I'm supposed to do. I know I can take them. But instead, I let them take us.
The wind rages around us, pulling at my clothes, wrapping me in the stench of these creatures. Out of the corner of my eye I see one of the monsters reel back and slam the butt of his sword against Brendan's temple.
"Brendan!" I scream as he slumps. Tears are instantly in my eyes, the fight in my bones renewed. I'm twisting and turning, my foot connecting with one of the creatures and I hear a satisfying howl of pain. I notice a van for the first time, as they try to get us inside.
Then, a different kind of an agony shatters my heart and I'm pulled into the darkness.
The room is bursting with people and creatures from every land.
I walk down the aisle, my heart trembling with the knowledge of what must be done, the duty that must be fulfilled.
A duty to my people.
A duty to my realm.
Papa has taught me what it means to be exalted. I may not be the next queen, but my position as the Duchess of Warriors holds me at an esteemed position. I am the right hand of the royal court. I am the one who's closest to Her Majesty. If I fail, the kingdom does as well. But what he doesn't know is that I know the truth now and my own plans must come to pass if I am to save my land from destruction.
"I know it's not what you want," Papa says, coming up to stand next to me once I'm at the front of the room. I have taken my place by the throne, waiting for the king and queen to take their places as well.
"What I want is to make sure this kingdom survives." I reply, and I don't have to turn around to know he's watching me.
He has raised me to be royalty. He has raised me to be in control. My duty is first to my kingdom. Then, it is to myself. Never the other way around.
"You don't love him."
"Love is an emotion that has no place in politics."
"Oh my dearest Dochenka, love should have a place in everything." There's a catch in his voice, and I turn to glance at him then. If I didn't know any better, I would say there were tears in his eyes. But I know better. My Papa does not cry. He is the strongest of Warriors, the Highest in the courts. He is who I strive to be.
"Papa, you have raised me to put the needs of my people before my own. I will not disappoint you."
"You could never disappoint me by following your heart."
The music sounds then, and the courts rise. The doors open as the king and queen make their way down the aisle, hand in hand. My eyes fly briefly to the man walking behind them.
Brendan.
He catches my look and my heart speeds up in awareness. What wouldn't I give to call him mine? There is sadness in his gaze that mirrors my own, pain that I feel more physically intense than anything I've ever experienced before. He turns his attention back to the royals, and I let out the breath I've been holding. He won't even want to look at me after all is said and done.
I feel my father shift a little closer, his hand gripping my own. I fight against the tears, against my own hurt. Those emotions are not allowed. I cannot let myself feel anything but determination. What I'm doing is right. Even if everyone else will say it is wrong. I will be the hero, even if they all call me a villain.
"I wish," my Papa speaks, keeping his hand on mine, "I wish you could chose for yourself."
I have to shut my eyes against the misery boiling up inside me. The support of my Papa means the world to me. Yet, he's not making it any easer to bear the agony of my heart. It's like a rain that won't stop falling inside me, drowning the pieces of my soul. There is so much I wish I could say, so much I wish I could do. But that is not for me. I have a job to do. I open my eyes, once again in control of my emotions.
"It'll be okay, Papa. I'll be just fine. William is a good man. He will treat me in the way this kingdom requires him too." My Papa squeezes my hand once more before letting go. He won't talk me out of it, and he knows he shouldn't try.
"You will be a great Warrior, Dochenka. I am so proud of you."
He moves away, leaving me to meet the monarchy by myself. I bow to the queen first, then to the king. They both give me a pleased smile, taking their place on the thrones. After receiving a nod from the queen, William steps away from the crowd, heading my way. He takes his place on the right of me, standing tall and proud as my future husband. The queen smiles, pleased with the betrothal.
I meet Brendan's eyes from across the room, his shining with unshed tears much like my own. My heart burns in response, but I don't move. I stand tall in my position as the Duchess of Warriors.
When I am married, I will become the Grand Duchess and I will lead my people in defense against the Komandirov of Shadowlands.
I will do my duty.
I am my duty.
Love is only for fairytales.
25
The throbbing in my head is what wakes me up.
I'm not sure how long I've been out, or where I am for that matter. All I know is this agonizing torment in my bones. As often as pain has been part of my daily routine, nothing prepares me for what I feel now. The dull ache in my heart intensifies the physical sensations in my body. I strain to turn my head, to catch some sign of Brendan, to see if he's okay, but I can't seem to move.
The memory I had in the van opened my eyes to a lot of truths no one wanted to talk about. The time I've remembered with my papa is something that I will forever cherish, and something I have a feeling I will never be able to experience again. Not after what I've done.
I push against the pain in my soul and focus on the problem at hand. Once I get Brendan out of here, I will deal with who I've become.
The first thing I notice is that my arms and legs are tied to whatever hard surface I'm attached to. I think it's a board of some sort, but I can't really see in this darkness. Not even with my supe
r vision. I'm half suspended, I can feel my body hang against the restrains, attached to the wall by some kind of chains at my wrists and ankles. The metal itself is painfully sweltering my skin and I wonder if some kind of magic has been placed on them.
"Cal?" I twist around, forgetting for a moment I'm attached, hissing at the new pain my movement brings. Swallowing down my cries, I try to peer through the darkness.
"Brendan? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Liar. "How are you?"
"Fine and dandy."
We're not very good at lying to each other. I can hear the pain lacing his voice and he can hear the frustration in mine. I need to get him out of here. That's my first order of business.
"Any idea where we are?" I ask, because it's easier to focus on that. I don't want to think about Brendan hurting. I hear rattling sounds, confirming the fact that he's just as uncomfortable as I am.
"No idea. I don't think we're in the human realm anymore."
"Why?"
"They're more powerful in their own."
Which technically means so am I. I mull that over, trying to think of a way to awaken my majyk and take care of business. But while I can feel it swimming at the surface, I'm still no closer to having control over the power. Grunting in frustration, I pull against the restraints to no avail. They've done a good job at securing us against escape. If we don't figure a way out of this, we're going to die. There's no other possible outcome. Yet, even worse than that, I know they'll use Brendan to get what they want out of me.
The pressure builds within my chest, and I'm gasping for breath. I can't let anything happen to him.
I can't.
I can't.
I won't.
What I told him is true, my life was missing a piece until he walked back into it. It's not just because he opened up the doorways in my mind. He opened up the windows in my soul. Now, I can't imagine my life without him.
It's my turn to be the brave one.
It's my turn to save him.
Before I can formulate my next thought, I hear pounding of heavy feet and rugged breathing and instantly I know they're here.
