by Valia Lind
We've never said I love you. But actions speak louder than words. I've seen the pain I feel inside mirrored in his very soul. We are soul mates who can never be together. I can never give him that.
But I can give him part of the truth.
Taking a deep breath, fighting the agony shuddering through my body, I give him a cool smile. The smile of the Duchess of Warriors. He blinks in surprise, understanding falling over his features as I speak.
"I saw everything."
Brendan doesn't get to comment on my revelation, before the creatures are filing into the room. It must've been hours since they left, I was out much longer than I thought. Even rejuvenated by the knowledge of the truth, I'm still weakened by the blood loss. I can feel the essence of my very foundation seeping out of me with every drop. I know I don't have much time left. Cornelius will be able to penetrate my defenses soon, and I cannot allow that.
"You are still awake." He states, coming to stand in front of me.
I bet it's driving him crazy, not knowing what truly happened when I agreed to go along with his plan. In his twisted mind, he couldn't fathom someone like me actually having morals of my own. But that's exactly what I have and that is exactly why I couldn't let him win. The smug look on his face makes me want to strip his flesh from his bones. Every nerve in my body is itching for a fight. A fight I know I can win now that I am myself again. Now that there is truth on my side.
"What do we have here?" he asks coming to stand in front of me. "Something is different. You are different. The loss of blood should have weakened you, and yet, here you are. Glaring daggers at me."
He's more than confused now, he's uncertain, and his uncertainty is a song in my heart. Because I have nothing to be afraid of.
I know who I am now.
The moment these creatures stepped into the room, the ancient writings have awakened themselves in my mind. The words my Papa spoke to me before I left ring true, echoing into my very soul. I can feel Brendan watching me, his quiet trust in me and my abilities the greatest encouragement I can have. He's waiting for me to make a move. He's trusting me to get us out of here.
"Not so talkative now, are you?" Cornelius continues, oblivious to my inner thoughts.
There are still memories missing, parts of myself I can't reach. But the basic truths about my powers are known, and I will use that knowledge to finish my mission. The mission I have created above all others, the one no one knows about.
I cry out as his hands connect with my throat, pulling me up like a rag doll. My feet try to kick out on their own, forgetting they're strapped to the wood. I stare right at him, unwavering. I feel his mind reaching for my own, but I will not let him in. I can feel my neck separating from my shoulders, before Cornelius drops me with a snap. My whole body jerks, blood spraying from my wounds and I cry out.
"I think I'm done waiting. You will tell me what I need to know." Cornelius turns to Mead, who's been waiting quietly next to Brendan. With a nod, Mead is on him, punching his face with an animalistic pleasure. I'm screaming again, my voice bouncing off the walls.
Mead reaches for his sword, the hilt of it connecting with Brendan's cheek. Another creature steps forward, yanking the restraints away. Brendan slams face first into the floor, right before Mead kicks him in the stomach.
"Shut up!" Cornelius shouts my way as I continue to wail for them to stop. I'm pushing against my own restraints, my flesh scraping raw against the metal. "Tell me what I need to know or I will take him to the brink of death and hold him there until he wishes for nothing else."
"You will burn in hell." I ground out between my teeth. He laughs, the sound chilling and menacing. My eyes shift back to Brendan, as his find mine. There is so much trust there.
Trust and love.
I love you.
Something inside me snaps. I scream at the top of my lungs and in the next moment, my hands are free of their restraints. The room is sharper than I remember, everything bathed in the brightest light. Cornelius shouts something, fear written on his face for the first time since he found us. I don't wait for him to recover.
Focusing on that inner power, I yank the rest of my restraints away. None of the creatures dare to approach me as I land solidly on my feet. The room continues to grow brighter, pulsing with the light that seems to come from every side.
"Calista." Brendan's voice is but a whisper but I hear him. I glance down at him and when I do, my eyes land on the rest of my body.
The light is coming from within me.
This is what I've done, what I didn't remember doing all this time. I have traded my heart for the relic and I have become one with the elements.
Earth.
Zemlya.
Water.
Voda.
Air.
Vozduh.
Fire.
Ogon.
The elements are one. I am the four elements. I am Znaniye.
With that revelation, comes the power. My arm thrusts out, reaching for the creatures on my left. Wind is suddenly in the room, twisting and turning around the monsters, before they collapse from the lack of oxygen. My other hand flies toward my right, and fire bursts from the ground on which they stand.
I turn my attention to Mead and the other creature, who are still holding my Brendan captive. I don't see Cornelius. My focus is solely on the ones who have hurt the one that I love. My hands don't reach out for them, they reach for the place where my heart used to be. Bringing my palms against the frantic pulsing inside of my chest, I scream one word and the light pours out of me, blinding.
I control it.
I control myself.
I control the darkness.
I control the Knowledge.
Just as suddenly as it comes, the light is gone. I fall to my knees, my body humming with the energy I'm trying to reel in. Gasping for breath, I raise my head and find the room emptied of the creatures. The stink of burnt flesh is in the air, but it doesn't even register as my gaze lands on Brendan. He's sprawled out on the floor, his arms covering his face. At first, I don't think he's breathing. Then, he moves.
"Brendan!" I cry out, sliding right up to him and reaching for his arms. He lets me pull them away, and I stare down into his face. Tears are flowing freely as I fall into him. He wraps his arms around me, holding me closer than ever before. I'm the first to pull back.
"You are extraordinary." He whispers, staring into my eyes intently.
I smile through the tears and help him sit up. That's when I realize his wounds are gone. Tentatively, my fingers skim over his face, down to his shoulders, and finally to his abdomen.
"I wouldn't if I was you."
The mischief is in his voice and I glance up, blushing at my boldness. He chuckles before reaching for my hand, and placing it over his heart.
"You saved me."
"It was my turn."
We stand together, glancing around the room that held us captive. The creatures are gone, but I know for a fact that Cornelius is still alive.
"We need to go," I say, tugging at the hand Brendan is still holding. He nods in return, that same awe from a few minutes ago still shining in his gaze. He wouldn't understand, but the way he's looking at me makes me feel like the lowest of the low.
He shouldn't trust me. He wouldn't if he knew the vile thoughts racing through my mind. Now that I've unlocked the Knowledge inside of me, more memories are returning. I can keep them at bay, without falling into the pain that I've come to know every time I've tried to remember. But it doesn't mean it isn't there.
Giving up my heart to place the Knowledge inside of me was my decision. A decision no one knows about. It's why Cornelius kidnapped us, because I double-crossed him. But I refuse to succumb to yet another ruler when I am more powerful than all of them.
Brendan leads me out of the room and into a long corridor. I allow him to guide us out of the catacombs, while my mind races over what needs to be done. First, I need to make sure my heart is safe. Getting to it is t
he only way to kill me now. Second, I have to figure out how to tell Brendan that I'm the reincarnation of the most feared koldun of our history, Koschei Bessmertny.
There will be no going back once he finds out and there will be no redemption for me unless I save us all.
28
When Brendan and I step out of the underground prison, the air around us is anything but fresh. We race for the cover of the trees, trying to keep as quiet as possible in the near dead air. The trees are different here, not fully alive, not fully dead. They stand tall, yet half is filled with green leaves while the other is rotting away. They're a visual representation of who I am and I try not to react to that truth. I must make a noise, because Brendan feels inclined to explain.
"This place is the In Between to all things. It's the state of being not one or the other. If we stay here long enough, we become part of the uncertainty. We need to get out."
I'm thankful he's still treating me the same, like someone who needs his help. I don't want to shatter that illusion, but there's something we need to do first.
"Not yet."
Brendan stares at me as if I've lost my mind, but we can't leave yet. I have to find Cornelius. I need to know if he got out or not. The secret that only I carried is now out in the open. While Brendan might not realize what happened in that room, I'm sure Cornelius does. I can't let him get away.
"Brendan, he knows about me now. We have to find him." It's the best explanation I can give him, but it's enough. With grim determination, the boy follows me through the woods. His trust in me is blinding, and I hold onto it for dear life.
The small opening that let us out of the dungeons is half hidden by the hill. We circle back around, trying to keep quiet and I know when I hear them first.
Putting my hand out to stop Brendan's progress, I point to our left. He nods, then moves his body a few more feet before crouching down. I peer through the trees, my eyes landing on Cornelius instantly. He's walking away, a regiment of his monsters close behind. I move, but don't make it far before Brendan's arm is on my own.
"You can't take them all. There's at least fifty of them."
"I have to try, Brendan. I can't let them roam around with the knowledge they now possess. They won't stop until they've destroyed every single person I love to get to me. Just look at what they've done to you."
That's the closest I've even come to saying the words out loud and we both freeze at the confession.
"Cal—“
"Now is not the time, Brendan." I say, moving away from him before I succumb to that look in his eyes. The moment of distraction has already cost us. The creatures have moved farther away.
"I'll come from the front. I need to stop him."
"Calista, it's suicide. We've barely gotten out alive as it is."
There's that panic in his eyes, the panic only I can put there. I want to take him into my arms and tell him that everything will be okay. I want him to realize that I can take care of myself, that I can take care of him. When we were little, there was always that partnership between us. Now, I need that back.
"You forget, dorogoi Brendan. That was before I knew who I was." I give him my most dazzling smile.
He blinks at my sudden use of our native tongue and the confidence behind my words. Maybe he hasn't realized until now just what kind of revelations happened to me in that torture chamber, but he will follow me into the battle. I can see it written in his eyes.
"And who is that?"
"The most powerful creature you have ever known."
The hardness behind my words does not escape him, but years of knowing me push it aside. He nods at my determination, running one of his hands over my cheek. I want to lean into the gesture, because I'm afraid he won't ever want to do so again, but I don't. Now is not the time for weakness.
Without another word, I move to the front of the convoy, utilizing my volshebnii speed for the first time. I've forgotten how wonderful it feels to skip through the elements. The rush of nature over my skin is like coming home. I feel alive again, for the first time in over a year, and I curse everyone who played a part in taking that away from me. I stop right on the outskirts of the group. I know Brendan has taken his position at the other side of them. I wait exactly forty-five seconds before stepping out of the shadows.
"Leaving so soon?"
The creatures are instantly on guard, their swords drawn before I can even finish my question. For the first time, there is fear on their ugly faces and I smile. Cornelius is pushed back behind his entourage, but he's the one who speaks.
"You cannot win this war, Calista."
"Come out here and say it to my face, Corny."
He growls, the sound full of anger and hatred. The earth shakes under that noise, the power pushing at my defenses. I stay grounded, keeping my attention on Cornelius, but I feel Brendan's movement behind the group. He's waiting for my signal.
"You do not know the extent of our forces. Kill me now. Kill all of us, but that will not stop the inevitable. The High Realm will fall, and you will bow down to the Glava of Shadowlands."
"Well, I like the idea of you dying. Can we start there and see where it takes us?"
"You think you are so clever, playing with the task which was given to you. But you are not so clever that you will win."
I know Brendan is listening to our every word and I'm terrified that Cornelius will say something I don't want him to hear. I stand my ground, my eyes on Cornelius, as I twirl the sword I pulled out of my own mesto in my hand.
"You don't know half of what you think you do, Corny." I say, keeping my voice as low as possible.
"Don't forget, I know who you really are. I know where your loyalties lie. And we both know it's not with Skazka."
I move before anyone has a chance to blink. My sword is in my hand, as I plunge the blade straight into the closest minion. My right hand flies to my knives, and I let them soar, straight and true, right into the heads of two others. Out of the corner of my eye I see Brendan cartwheel right over the top of one of the monsters before cutting the head straight off.
I don't stop to think, I swipe and slice, my focus on Cornelius. I cannot let him leave. I cannot let him live.
The noise of the battle is all around me, but I'm calm. I reach for that inner power, pulling at the knowledge that rests within me. The ground shakes, making the creatures stumble, even as Brendan and I stay upright. I twist my blade into the gut of the closest monster, his cries are like music to my ears. It's fueling my hatred and it's strengthening my resolve.
I drop to my knees, missing the blow coming at me by a hair. The one who attacks me doesn't make it far. As he reels his arm back to swipe at me, I stab him in the stomach, spilling his insides in front of me. The shouts that resonate from within me send the clearing trembling. Cornelius is shouting for them to keep fighting, but they're terrified.
They're horrified of me.
And that knowledge makes me smile.
I take a deep a breath, rising to my feet. Once again, I reach for the power inside. The hand that isn't holding my sword flies up, and a tornado follows. It sweeps through the trees, picking and choosing as it destroys one creature after the next. The majyk awakens the deepest parts of me, intensifying every movement, every noise.
"Silly girl," I hear Cornelius' voice, twisting to watch as he steps to a light suspended in the fabric of Perehoda. I try to go to him, but there are too many creatures between me and him. "You think you have it all figured out, but you have no idea what and who you're dealing with. They trust you now, but just wait and see how will they trust you after they know who you truly are."
With the final words, he disappears into the light, the doorway slamming shut behind him. I scream in rage, the light exploding from within me and wiping out the rest of the minions Cornelius left behind. Brendan and I land on our knees, both of us breathing heavily with exertion.
Our clothes are plastered to our skin. The smell of death and blood clings to our e
ssence. We don't talk about what happened. I know he heard what Cornelius said, but I hold onto the hope that he misunderstood the meaning. Or he trusts me enough to explain. When he takes my hand, I breathe a little easier. He leads me toward the forest, reaching into the veil, but when he goes to open the gate he stops.
"Where to?"
The question takes me by surprise because I don't know. I know we have to go back to the human realm. I left Jemma in Maxwell's care and I know he may be able to help us figure out what to do next, how to fight in this war. Yet, I also know we have to go back to our realm. Cornelius could've gone either way and we can't follow him by ourselves. I need time to figure out where I stand and how I can use it to my advantage. So I go with our best option.
"Let's go see Maxwell."
We step out of Perehoda, behind Maxwell's cabin.
Brendan is staying quiet, but he hasn't let go of my hand and I have to be thankful for small things.
"We'll get cleaned up, regroup, and see—“
"You're back," Maxwell's voice interrupts the rest of what Brendan is trying to say. We twist around and meet his worried gaze. He stands on the porch, his arms crossed in front of him. His eyes dart between our faces to our clasped hands and back up again. I give him a small reassuring smile and he breathes out a sigh of relief.
"Were you worried?" I tease, before I'm swallowed in his arms. He doesn't seem to care about the smell or the blood, but holds me close.
"You've been gone for nearly a week. Of course I was worried. Jemma is—“
"Calista!" now it's Maxwell's turn to be interrupted as my best friend bounces down the stairs and grabs me right out of the boys' arms. "Where the stink have you been? And you look disgusting. Smell even worse actually." She crinkles her nose, but doesn't slow down. "But I don't care because you're alive and you have so much explaining to do. Max here told me some of what's going on, but I want to hear every detail from your own lips, missy. I can't believe you put me through this much worry. I could strangle you, you know." She runs out of breath, squeezing me until I pry her off me.
