Beholden to You

by Sexton, Carlie

  Natalie inhaled deeply. Her eyes said it all. She was touched by my openness. Hopefully by New Year’s she would be able to tell me she loves me. I wanted to hear those words from her desperately.

  “Oh, Mac. You’re penetrating my heart, too,” she said, taking my hand. I caressed the back of her hand with my thumb.

  I got up, keeping her hand in mine and walked her over to the sectional. I just wanted us to feel comfortable together like a favorite pair of shoes. Putting my arm around her, Natalie put her head on my chest. I stroked her arm. “Natalie, what do you hope for…for your future?”

  “I don’t know if I can answer that question. I haven’t thought about my hopes for a long time. My life became about Jessica and what she needed. I had to be strong for her, so I didn’t allow myself the luxury of hopes or dreams. I guess, in a way, if I didn’t hope then I wouldn’t be disappointed.”

  It saddened me to hear her say this. I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I kept silent.

  “How about you, Mac?”

  “I’ve wanted a family for a long time and I have been longing to find the right woman to share everything with. I guess you could say I’m a hopeless romantic.”

  I heard Natalie exhale and knew there was a smile on her face. “I can agree with that. I didn’t think any man could be as romantic as Neil has been to Kate, but I must say you are giving him a run for his money.”

  “Glad to hear it, Mrs. Carter. I aim to please.”

  Natalie sat up and looked into my eyes. “Everything you have done since we met has been beyond…beyond what anyone else would do or has ever done.” Her eyes stayed locked with mine. “I am so grateful that all of this has happened between us. I have to admit, being with you makes me want things.”

  “Like what?” I asked, hoping she would open up more.

  “Things I haven’t dared wish for…for a very long time. Someone to spend my life with, a family. The usual things that people want in life.”

  “So, you could see yourself having those things now?”

  “Yes, I could.”

  I couldn’t contain my smile. I moved the wave of hair that gently cascaded over her face. I pulled her close and just held her. “Baby, you already have those things now.”

  “I’m beginning to believe that,” she whispered.

  Unbeknownst to us, we were already docked and back in San Diego. Our time together had been so intimate that I was completely distracted. Miles carefully wandered in to inform me.

  When he left I decided it might be better to take Natalie home rather than spend another night torturing myself in bed with her. “How about I take you home?” I suggested.

  “That might be good. I have some things I need to do before tomorrow. Mundane stuff like laundry.”

  “Yeah, I have a few things I want to do as well.”

  I drove my beautiful siren home. Since she had been with me, I had security watching her condo. They blended in pretty well and I might not have noticed them myself if I hadn’t been paying attention looking for them. I kissed my girl goodnight and departed.

  I can’t believe that Natalie has come into my life and reshaped my world. My focus. My heart. She is my forever. I had no doubts whatsoever.

  Chapter 23: Natalie

  Waking up Monday morning, I took a moment to let it sink in that I was going to have a man in my life for Christmas. Then it really hit me. I could have Mac forever if I wanted to. The thought heated me like a cup of my favorite tea on a chilly day. He kept telling me that he wanted me, but somehow it hadn’t seemed real until this morning. He was everything I could ever wish for in a man and more. I just needed…I needed to trust again…completely. Mac deserved that, and I was going to take the plunge. Closing my eyes, I imagined moving in with Mac and beginning the New Year with a new husband and a new life. After Kate’s wedding, we could share our news with our friends.

  It was so nice to have two days off in a row, but I knew the days leading up to Christmas were going to be busy at work. So, I had to make the day count. Getting up, I got dressed, made coffee, and ate breakfast. I wondered what I should get Mac for Christmas. After being on his yacht, I realized he probably had everything. What would I buy a man who owns a yacht? I thought about something personal…something from the heart. Maybe I was just corny, but I decided to make Mac a Christmas stocking and fill it with small gifts. Michael’s had all the items I needed and I spent the afternoon with glitter and my glue gun. I cut out a felt Christmas tree and glued on tiny decorations. Cutting Styrofoam into small squares, I wrapped them with wrapping paper and glued them under the tree. A star on the top completed the front of the stocking. On the back I had already written with a gold pen, “All My Love, Natalie.”

  Feeling satisfied as I admired my work, it dawned on me that the hard part was going to be filling it with items. That was going to take more consideration. Perhaps a visit to Best Buy for the latest gizmo on the market would work as the main gift, and I could add in some funny things like cute socks. Then cuff links came to mind, and I knew I could find those at work tomorrow.

  Mac and I had been texting back and forth all day, and even though I wanted to see him, I decided having some plans of my own would be good.

  So, I called the Millers. They had been best friends with my parents since before I was born. Basically, they had become Jessica’s and my surrogate parents after… . They were on a cruise when Jessica died, but made it back for the memorial. Their love and support had been a constant in my life that I was so grateful for. Without them, Jessica and I surely would have fallen apart.

  “Hey Beverly,” I said. “What are you and Daniel up to tonight?”

  “We just bought a tree and were planning on having dinner and decorating it. Why don’t you come over? We’d love to see you. Plus, Daniel seems to have issues with putting the ornaments in the right places so we could use your help.”

  I could hear Daniel in the background protesting, but Beverly just laughed. “So any news? Did you have fun in Vegas with your friends?”

  “It was a great getaway. I have so much to tell you guys.”

  “Well, good. I want to hear all about it.”

  “I’ll be there in about thirty minutes. I can’t wait to see you both.”

  We said our goodbyes and I made my way to the Miller’s home.

  When I pulled into their driveway, so many wonderful memories flooded my mind. Every significant event in my life had been shared with them. Beverly and my mom had been friends since grade school. Their friendship had carried them through the rough times, being each other’s strong tower in times of trouble and the ray of sunshine when all was well. Beverly had been there with me when my mom died. She had held one hand, and I, the other. We never talked about that day, but we shared a bond that was unbreakable.

  As I walked up the pathway to their cape-cod style home, Daniel opened the door before I reached it, gave me a hug and ushered me inside. The scent of cinnamon wafted through the air and I knew we would be enjoying apple pie after dinner. Beverly was a great cook and apple pie was her specialty. She didn’t make it that often, since their sons had moved to the East Coast a few years back.

  Entering the Miller home, I went to the spot I always went, the kitchen. Beverly was stirring the pots, but gave me a big hug and told me how much she missed me. I decided to ask them about their trip since I hadn’t even mentioned it when they returned. I had been dealing with too many other things.

  Daniel poured me a glass of iced tea and Beverly told me all about their cruise around Italy. In ten days, they went to eight ports. It sounded amazing and I found myself imagining taking a trip like that with Mac.

  Sitting down for dinner, Beverly eyed me. She knew me so well. “So sweetheart, what’s going on?”

  I looked at her and then at Daniel. “I do have some pretty big news.” Informing them of my recent nuptials and the romantic, sweep-me-off-my-feet dates, left them both staring at me, speechless. I kept looking back and forth bet
ween them to see who was going to speak first.

  Daniel rubbed his chin slightly, “Wow, you’ve been busy.”

  “It sounds way more than busy,” Beverly expounded. “You’re married.”

  “I know. It’s been overwhelming and my emotions are all over the place.”

  “Question. Do you like him?” Daniel asked.

  I smiled and nodded. “He’s a wonderful man and I’m beginning to more than like him.”

  “Tell us about him, hon. What makes him wonderful?” Beverly inquired with a loving look on her face.

  “The best thing I can tell you is that he reminds me of my dad. Mac is kind, loving, and generous. He’s also very expressive with his feelings and has made it clear to me that he wants to stay married.” I thought for another moment. “It’s weird, but he’s very in tune with my needs…he has a way of reading me.”

  “Those are good qualities, but you haven’t known him for very long. How do you feel about staying married?” Beverly continued.

  “At first, I wasn’t sure. I mean, waking up married was quite a shock and I figured we would get an annulment when we returned home. But spending time together has been so comfortable. Exhilarating. I can be myself around him.”

  Daniel nodded like he knew what I meant. “When do we get to meet him?”

  “Why don’t you two come over on Christmas Eve? We can have dinner together and get to know him a little?” Beverly suggested.

  “Okay. I’ll ask him. We are already spending Christmas Day together. I’ll let you know what he says.”

  Telling Beverly and Daniel about the escapades that had been happening in my life felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn’t realized how much I had been carrying the burdens alone, until I shared them with the loving couple. I was glad I had them to confide in, but even more, I wanted their opinion on Mac. If they liked him I would take it as a good sign.

  After dinner, Daniel put on some Christmas music and we decorated the tree, this simple task gave me a sense of coming home. Being with them filled my heart with hope that I could have my own tree to decorate in the near future. It wasn’t about the tree, it was about the feeling of belonging. I belonged to them because of their connection to my family. In that moment, I thought about how I belonged to Mac as well, and my mind drifted to decorating the tree with him next year, and all the other things we would do together as our relationship grew.

  I looked at my watch thinking it was much earlier than it was. The day had flown by and I had to be at work by seven a.m. . The store was opening early this week to accommodate shoppers before their time to buy gifts was up.

  “I need to get home,” I said, sighing. “I have an early day tomorrow.”

  Beverly put her arm around me. “Okay. We’ll walk you out.”

  Approaching my car I called out, “I’ll be in touch about Christmas Eve.”

  Chapter 24: Mac

  Cassie hadn’t contacted me since our lunch and security hadn’t noticed anything unusual while surveying Natalie. Relief washed over me, but I knew deep down in the pit of my stomach that Cassie wasn’t quite done. I was just waiting for her to emerge after regrouping.

  Taking the afternoon off work, I headed to the mall to do my Christmas shopping. I would have loved to ask Kate what to buy, but that would have made her question what was going on between Natalie and me. So, I did what any man in my position would do, I went to the best jewelry store I knew. I needed more than one item for the plan I had in mind. I couldn’t wait to surprise my girl. Thoughts rambled through my mind: seeing her adorned in diamonds and nothing else. I wanted her in the worst way. Shit.

  It occurred to me how in some ways Natalie was as strong as steel, but in other ways, as fragile as a flower in the hot scorching sun. I found her to be so intriguing, and she captivated all my thoughts. The sales girl at Tiffany’s showed me several exquisite items and I found just what I had wanted. Then she wrapped them up and I was on my way.

  As I was exiting the store I ran right into Cassie. There were no mathematical odds to explain that, the only explanation being that she had followed me.

  “Mac,” she cried, hugging me. I didn’t hug her back. Her hands on me felt revolting.

  “Cassie,” I said through clinched teeth.

  “Doing your Christmas shopping?” she inquired.

  “Yes.”

  “Wow. The little blue bag from Tiffany’s. Natalie is one lucky girl. I don’t recall getting any blue bags from you.”

  If I could have breathed fire on her I would have, I was so angry when I heard her say Natalie’s name. I didn’t respond because I had nothing to say.

  “Are things getting serious between you two?”

  “Cassie, what do you want?”

  “I told you at lunch what I want…us back together. Of course there’s also your trust to keep in mind.”

  “Cassie, I already told you that I’m not interested in getting back together. I’m not going to change my mind.”

  “Oh Mac, always so determined. I admire that quality in you.”

  “Gotta go. Have a nice day,” I said, as I turned and walked away. If she had been a man, I would have beaten the shit out of her. Walking to my car I wondered if she had followed me or if she had someone tailing me.

  When I got home I decided to call Natalie to give her the heads up about Cassie.

  “Hey, baby. How was your day?”

  “I’d say it was productive. I got a lot accomplished. How about yours?”

  “Good. Mine was productive, too. Listen, do you think I could swing by? I have something important to talk to you about.” Telling her about Cassie over the phone just didn’t seem right.

  “Sure. I’m getting ready for bed.”

  “I’ll see you soon.”

  Driving toward Natalie’s house, I tried to figure out what I was going to say. Nothing sounded good. It all sounded like she was being stalked by a crazy woman. That was the last thing she needed to hear, especially with what had been going on for Kate.

  I took a deep breath before knocking on her door. I knocked and she answered it almost at the same time.

  “Hi,” she said, her blue eyes lighting up. Even with no makeup on, and in her pajamas, she was hot.

  “Hi, baby,” I said, moving toward her, holding her in my arms. She hugged me back, hard. I didn’t want that moment to end.

  She escorted me into her living room and we sat on the sofa.

  “Would you like something to drink?” she asked.

  “No, I’m good. I don’t want to stay too long since you are getting ready for bed.”

  “The next few days are going to be insane. I have to be at work at seven. If it’s busy, I’ll end up staying late.”

  I took my beautiful girl’s hand and kissed it. “I went shopping today, myself.”

  “Did you find anything good?” she asked, beaming.

  “I did, but I also found Cassie. She was waiting for me when I walked out of the store.”

  “Well, I know it’s a small world, but it’s not that small. Do you think she followed you?”

  “I’m assuming she did, but I can’t be certain,” I said, rubbing my jaw.

  Natalie stared at me with a questioning look on her face.

  “I’m just going to come out with it. After she went to see you at work, I hired security…to watch over you.”

  “What?”

  “I know I should have said something, but I didn’t want to scare you. I asked them to stay invisible so your life wouldn’t be interrupted.”

  “Do you think that is necessary? That Cassie is going to hurt me?”

  “I have no idea what she is capable of doing. I just know that she’s crafty and determined.”

  Natalie rubbed her temples. “So you’ve had security following me for days? I seriously had no clue. Why didn’t you tell me? I think I have the right to know if I might be in danger.”

  “I didn’t say anything because I thought I might
be overreacting. But now, I know I made the right decision.”

  “This is wild. I wasn’t expecting to be guarded like Kate.”

  “I know, and I’m hoping it’s just for a short time until I figure out how to make her understand that she and I are not getting back together.”

  Natalie shook her head. “There seems to be a fine line between love and obsession. I’m glad you told me, because I would have freaked out if I realized that someone was following me.”

  I put my arm around her and pulled her close. “I was concerned you might be upset with me.”

  “I probably would be if Kate hadn’t just been through so much with that certifiable crazy man, Roger. I would have told you security was overkill. But in light of how deranged he has turned out to be, I think anyone is capable of just about…anything. So, thank you for protecting me.”

  I kissed her on the head. “I’ll always protect you.” I pulled her chin up and pressed my lips to hers. She moaned softly and I knew that was my cue to leave before I acted on my impulse. Until we had a real marriage I wanted her to stay true to her promise she had made to her mother.

  “I should be going. It’s getting late and I want you to get your rest.” I got up and Natalie walked me to the door. I put my hand on her face and she leaned into it.

  “Text me when you get off work tomorrow. If you’re not too tired I’d love to see you.”

  “I will,” she said.

  I kissed her goodnight and left. The next thing on my agenda was beefing up the security protecting her.

  Chapter 25: Natalie

  Work had been slammed and I ended up working twelve-hour days, so Mac and I communicated by phone over the next few days. Understanding that things were out of my control, he called me every night before I went to bed. I had invited him to the Miller’s for Christmas Eve and of course we had Christmas day at the Statton’s.