Cross My Heart

by Jaime Russell

  I start moving in and out of her, while kissing her neck, and I pick up the pace after I glance at the clock, knowing that she needs to meet up with everyone in a couple of hours. I feel the sweat rolling down my back, as I continue pounding into her. Charlie starts raising her hips, while her legs wrap around my waist, so her heels dig into my ass cheeks. I feel her start to squeeze my cock with her pussy, so I know she’s getting ready to come.

  “Rhett!” she cries out my name as her body shivers. With two long, slow pumps into her, I grunt out her name while releasing my hot come into her.

  I collapse on top of her, once I feel the last of my release go into her. “I love you, Charlie,” I pant, and she smiles at me.

  “I love you, too. Want to take a shower?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” We race to get some clothes on to get into the shower to play with each other more, but we’re stopped by Emma, getting ready to knock on the door.

  “Daddy! Charlie!” She smiles up at me. “I’m hungry.”

  “Honey, it’s only five a.m. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” I ask her, and she shakes her head.

  “I can’t. Mommy is up pacing the floor, muttering things about a mistake, begging to go home, and looking through the closet. I don’t think she realizes that I left the room.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right down.” I look apologetic at Charlie, who smiles at me. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I need to shower, before everyone else does. Go on down, and I’ll cook us breakfast at the main house. Why don’t you tell Katy that’s where you two are headed, okay?” She kisses me and walks down the hall. I look at Emma then back to Charlie’s retreating body. I want to go with her, but I feel a small hand grab mine.

  “Let’s go, short stuff.” She laughs, as I pick her up, bouncing her up and down as I go down the stairs. I knock on the door, and Katy answers it. “Morning. I wanted to let you know that Charlie is getting a shower while the two of us head to the main house to watch cartoons, and then have breakfast. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll take care of Emma today.”

  “I can take care of my daughter,” Katy snaps at me.

  “I didn’t say you couldn’t, but I’m letting you know that you can take a day for yourself and not worry.”

  “Bye, Mommy,” Emma says, as she rubs my bald head. “Were you born with no hair?” I laugh at her silly question.

  “What’s hair?” I ask her, which makes her laugh, while trying to explain what it is. She points to her long hair. “I thought that was a wig.”

  “No silly. It’s hair!” I put her down, so we can walk to the main house together. She grabs my hand, asking me questions about the horses, Charlie, and why her grandpa doesn’t like me. I talk a lot about the horses because she’s too young to know about my past. We walk into the main house and head to the family room. It’s more of a game room with a foosball table, pool table, and massive sixty-inch smart television. “Can I watch TV?”

  “Sure. Here’s the remote,” I say, handing it to her. We sit down watching some kids show on Disney. I check my email from my laptop, that I grabbed from my office, trying to get some work done, before breakfast. It’s been about thirty minutes, and I hear noises coming from the kitchen. I get up and tell Emma that I’ll be right back. I walk into the kitchen and stand in the doorway. “Katy, what are you doing here?” I’m confused why she’s in my house.

  “I’m cooking my daughter breakfast, like I do every morning. Being here isn’t going to stop that.” I stand opposite of her in the kitchen island.

  “Why are you so damn hostile with me?” I harshly whisper, making sure that Emma isn’t around us. “I’m going to have her weekends at a time and during the summer for a week here and there. I’m going to be making her meals.”

  “So, Daddy was right. You’re going to take her from me.” Katy slams down the pan on the stove.

  “Did I say that? No. God, you are only hearing what you want to hear, and then fucking twisting it around to make me a bad person. I just said that she’s going to spend some time here with me. You’re her mother, and I’m not taking her from you. I’m not the monster in this scenario.”

  “So, I am.” Katy stands right in my face. “I knew that you didn’t forgive me.”

  “I do forgive you. Why are you putting words into my mouth? I understand why you did what you did. I probably would’ve kept her from me, too. I had a lot of growing up to do. I wouldn't have been a good father to Emma. You’ve raised her to be the most perfect daughter in the world. I just want to get to know her, and she get to know my life.” I wish that Quinn didn’t leave right after dinner last night, but she had court pretty early, and she was missing her husband.

  “I don’t understand why the lunches at the club aren’t enough for you.” Katy huffs. I’m getting pissed off, and I’m trying not to.

  “Katy, if you knew that you and I had a kid, and I kept him or her from you. Would five hours a week be enough, while being supervised? I don’t think that it would be, so we need to come up with a compromise. I’m not fighting for full custody. I just want joint. I think Emma deserves to know both of her parents.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Charlie stands in the doorway. “I came up to make breakfast.” She bites her bottom lip, seeming embarrassed.

  “Go ahead. Apparently, I’m not allowed.” Katy pushes past me.

  “What did I walk into?” Charlie walks over to me and sits down. I explain the conversation to her, and she even shows a look of surprise. “I’m sorry, but I can’t imagine what she’s going through either. From what you’ve told me about her dad, she’s trying to please everyone and it’s no longer working, especially if she stood up for you.” Charlie stands and goes into the family room. “Katy, I don’t know what Emma likes for breakfast. Could you help me? I also need to get some lists made up for the time I’m gone.” My heart gets bigger hearing the love of my life, trying to make things better for Katy. I kiss her temple, when I grab her, as she walks by me.

  Charlie

  I walk into my office, while I leave Katy in charge of my kitchen. It makes me nervous that the guys are going to like her cooking over mine. I grab the paperwork that I need to head back into the house. I really don’t trust Katy alone with my man, and I don’t know her well enough to know her motives. So, I’ll keep her close. I hear laughter from the kitchen, as I stand at the door, listening to the different banter between Katy and Rhett. They talk about old times, and their inside jokes has me walking back to my office. I can’t compete with the past and Emma. I let out a shaky sigh, as I cry into my hands. I’m trying to be supportive and understanding, but I’m scared. This training has come at the wrong time. I spend ten minutes crying and trying to get my nerves to calm down, but it’s getting worse.

  “Hey, there you are.” I jump to the sound of Tucker.

  “Jesus Christ! You scared me.” He laughs, until I look up at him.

  “What’s the matter?” He comes in and sits opposite of me. I try to tell him nothing, but he calls me on my bullshit. “You crying, tells me it is more than nothing. Is it the family breakfast in the kitchen that has you worried?” I look away, taking a tissue to my nose. “You know that you are special to him, and no one can compete with you. There’s nothing to worry about, when it comes to Rhett. He doesn’t cheat.”

  “You don’t know that. I mean, look at her, and then look at me. I don’t even compare.”

  “I know you don’t because you are more to him than just a girl with a banging body. You’re his love, soulmate, and most importantly, his future.”

  “You don’t know that either. You didn’t see them together. I saw the look in his eyes.” My voice comes out in a whisper. “I can’t compete with the mother of his daughter.”

  “There’s no competition, so stop thinking like that. Come on, let's go eat.” Tucker holds out his hand to me. “Besides, I'm sure it tastes like shit.” I laugh and grab his hand, as he pulls me into a hug.

  “Tha
nk you.” I close my eyes, as I listen to his heartbeat. I know this is an intimate moment, but I’m enjoying this closeness with him. He clears his throat, and we walk into the kitchen. Everyone is around the table and island counter. Rhett looks at me and Tucker coming in together, and his eyes turn a shade of dark. I know he’s not happy at all.

  “I’m starving. What’s good for breakfast?” Tucker asks, as Dana comes over to me and whispers in my ear that we’ll eat on the road. It makes me chuckle, and I see Rhett motion for me to come over to him.

  “Meet me upstairs in my room in about five minutes.” I nod, before walking over to get a glass of orange juice. Emma is chatting up a storm to Tucker about what she wants to do today. He’s telling her that she needs to help with chores first.

  I head up to Rhett’s room, and I see him staring out his window, looking out to the field with the horses running. “Should I be worried about you and Tucker?” He doesn’t even look at me.

  “No. Should I be worried about you and Katy?” I ask him in a less than nice tone.

  “No. Why would you say something like that?”

  “Are you seriously asking me this?” He seems upset.

  “There is nothing going on between the two of us.”

  “There is nothing going on between Tucker and me. He saw me crying in my office and was a friend to me. At least, I’m not reminiscing about the past and the good times we had together.”

  “You're leaving for two weeks, and this is how you want to spend the last five minutes?” Rhett sighs.

  “I didn’t bring it up, you did. So, blame yourself, not me. I walk in on you and Katy arguing, and then I let her cook, and now, you two are the best of friends. How am I not to be worried?” I try not to raise my voice for everyone to hear our first fight.

  “I’ve never given you a reason to not trust me, have I?” He walks over to me, as I wrap my arms around my stomach.

  “Charlie, you’re my love. Nothing is going to change that.”

  “Being your love and you reconnecting with your first love, are two different things. I hope I can trust you.” I lean in to kiss his cheek. “I need to go. I’ll call you later.” I turn to walk away from him, and he doesn’t yell after me or even come down to see us off. I’m even more worried now.

  I sleep on the drive with headphones in my ears because I don’t want to be talking or listening to the conversations. I’m glad that we all opted for separate rooms on the same floor. I was looking forward to the training, but I knew that I’d be missing Rhett like crazy. We’ve been on the road for almost two hours, and there is not one text from him. I’m not going to message him first. He has to see where I’m coming from, and why I’m worried. How do I know if Katy is going to stay in the main house and not my room? How am I going to know if she sneaks into Rhett’s room, while I’m gone? The questions are endless. I feel some shaking on my leg, and I look up to see Dana, staring at me.

  “Are you okay?” she asks with concern.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “You were crying in your sleep,” Wes remarks.

  “Oh, sorry. Are we almost here?”

  “No, but we’re stopping to eat breakfast. I don’t know what that crap was she made this morning, but it tasted like shit.”

  “I didn’t eat it. It didn’t smell all that great, so I’m starving,” I say, as we pull into an iHop. We get seated, and I’m happy to see that it isn’t overcrowded, but it’s still busy enough that it’s too loud to really talk to each other. My phone starts to ping, and I see it’s a text message.

  Mads: You okay?

  Me: Yeah why?

  Mads: Rhett is barking at everyone, and you’ve been quiet.

  Me: I was sleeping. I don’t know why he’s barking at people.

  Mads: I figured you could talk to him.

  Me: Ask Katy to do it.

  Mads: Oh, you two are fighting over Katy. Now, I get it.

  Me: You’re not getting anything, so leave me alone.

  Mads: Okay.

  I shut my phone off for a while, as we eat our breakfast in silence. As we walk to the car, Wes’s phone starts to ring. “Yeah? She’s right here.” He hands me the phone, and he mouths Rhett.

  “Hello?”

  “I tried calling your phone, but it was going straight to voicemail,” he tells me.

  “Yeah, I needed some time to think. What’s up?”

  “Avoiding me?” he quietly asks.

  “Not really. I don’t know. The way we left things I figured it was good that we figure out some things, before we talked.”

  “Are you wanting to break up with me?” He sounds shocked.

  “Not unless that’s what you want. Taking a little bit to not talk and thinking about our relationship, doesn’t mean that I want to break up. I love you Rhett, but right now, I don’t know if the level I trust that I once had for you is still there. You didn’t see what I saw.”

  “What did you see? I don’t understand what you saw, because from my point of view, you’re the one I want to spend my life with and build a home together.” I hear a door shut on the other end of the phone.

  “I want that, too. Let’s talk in a couple of days. I need to get to the hotel and concentrate on this training. You need to focus on spending time with your daughter. You two need to get her room together in the main house.”

  “I don’t like not talking to you all the time.” I can tell he is pouting.

  “I don’t either, but I think we need this right now, or we might say something that we’re going to regret.”

  “Damn it, Charlie! We’re in love, and we don’t need time apart,” he states.

  “I’m sorry. I love you with everything that I am. I’m just afraid that we’re going to say something that’s going to destroy us. I don’t want to be the jealous girlfriend. This is your chance to be with Emma, so embrace it. Rhett, I love you.” I sniffle.

  “I love you, and I’m going to fight for you,” he tells me, before hanging up.

  “Thanks. I’m fine,” I say out loud trying to reassure myself more than anything else.

  We get into the car and drive in silence. It’s another two hours or so, before we get to the hotel, and it’s so hot. “I feel like this is what hell would feel like. I can’t believe we chose Texas to move to, I didn’t realize it was so damn hot here.” I fan myself, as Dana laughs and agrees with me.

  “If you need to talk, I’m here.”

  “I know.”

  When we finally arrive, we check-in and decide that since we are here a day early, we’ll go explore the area and do some shopping. I’m looking forward to not doing anything but getting lost in spending money.

  Rhett

  “I don’t understand what Charlie is so worried about. There’s nothing going on between Katy and me,” I tell Tucker, as we muck the stalls in the stable. “She doesn’t want to talk to me for a couple of days. I can’t go that long without hearing her voice.”

  “Dude, she was crying, and all upset in her office, when I walked in. I didn’t know what to say or do. She saw something that made her upset.”

  “What could she have seen, though?” I’m confused.

  “I don’t know, but women know things, and I’m not sure how they do it. It must be scary to be in their mind.” Tucker laughs.

  “Katy and I are over and done with, and there are no feelings whatsoever on my end. We share a daughter, and that will always tie us together.”

  “It could be that. You’ll forever share a bond with someone else that isn’t her. You have a child with someone else.” Tucker grunts, as he works. I look around the stable which houses about ten horses. We have four stables on the property, since we do a lot of work with other horses, too. It’s one of the ways we make our money by housing horses. “Remember that Charlie is your future, and Katy is your past. Don’t cross a line that you’re not sure you can come back from.” I think about what Tucker says, and I think I’m starting to understand. I need to make sure that Katy kn
ows that we share a daughter, and that’s where it ends.

  “I’m getting tired. This is a lot of work.” I laugh. “Wes is a lucky man.”

  “I know. It was a late night and early morning. I might have the rest of the workers do some of the work, so I can nap,” I agree with him. I need to get some sleep, or I’m not going to be any good for anyone. I pull out of my phone, sending a text to Charlie.

  Me: I know that you want space, but I need you to know that I love you and want only you.

  Me: Please let me know that we're going to be okay.

  This is going to drive me crazy not knowing or talking to her.

  “Hey. I made some lemonade.” Katy stands in the doorway, holding two glasses. “Emma's reading, so I thought I could sneak out really quick.” She smiles at me.

  “Thanks. Tucker isn't here right now. He should be at the house.”

  “He is. The other one is for me. I wanted to talk to you in private.”

  “Oh?”

  “I'm sorry about this morning. I don't know why I was acting like such a bitch. We need to talk to Quinn and get the custody on paper. You were right about sharing Emma. I don't want to keep her from you, and I know that you won't try to steal her from me.” Katy sighs. I know apologizing isn’t in the Stillman vocabulary.

  “I'd never do that to you or to her,” I defend myself.

  “I know. I let Daddy get into my head. It's one of our main arguments these days. He makes me feel like a kid who can't do anything right.” She sniffles, as she stands next to me, leaning into me. I let her hug me, as she cries on my shoulder. After a bit, she starts to laugh. “Do you remember all the times that Tucker caught us making out in the loft upstairs? I thought his head was going to explode, when we were trying to experience with different things, like seeing each other naked.”