Love Unsought

by Kay Bea

  Darcy was developing a headache.

  “Though it pains me to say,” Richard continued, “you know that if word of Ramsgate last summer were to reach the ton, Georgie would not easily escape the scandal. There are those within our own family who would distance themselves from our beloved girl.”

  Anne’s words were a revelation to Darcy. Richard’s, on the contrary, left him incensed, and thus it was to that cousin he responded. “How dare you! You know Georgiana is innocent of any wrongdoing. Wickham used his connexion with Mrs Younge to gain access to a vulnerable girl. He preyed on their past relationship and—”

  Richard stopped him. “I know that, and you know I would like to see him hang, but listen to me. Do you see how quick you were to defend Georgiana? Do you not believe Miss Bennet to be equally sensible regarding her family?”

  Darcy stood speechless. Of course, Elizabeth—Miss Bennet would not react as other ladies of his acquaintance might. She was no Lady Arabella or Miss Bingley; that was part of her appeal. He had always known his aunt to be imperious, but he had never given thought to the general impropriety and incivility of her behaviour. He found himself ashamed. Suggesting a guest be relegated to a servant’s room was not only unkind, it was offensive. He thought of Colonel Fitzwilliam’s brother Henry. The man could not hold his drink and was prone to fits of temper when he was well in his cups.

  Those thoughts caused him to reflect further on Elizabeth’s family. Mrs Bennet’s tongue might be uncontrolled and her manner uncivil, but she was no worse than many of the matchmaking mamas of the highest circles. She was a bit louder and less subtle in her speech. But he was also reminded of the masterful way Elizabeth managed to answer Lady Catherine without giving any ground or being uncivil.

  Then there was the most damning of their observations: he had not considered Elizabeth for even a moment when he set out to propose. He had thought only of his own wishes, his desires, his satisfaction. He had assumed she would fall at his feet in gratitude for his receiving his notice. His cousins were correct, and in their words he heard the echo of hers: “…had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner…”

  “What should I do? How can I prove to her that I am not the arrogant man I have shown myself to be? How might I please a woman worthy of being pleased?”

  Elizabeth returned from her ramble in only tolerable possession of her own emotions. Her remaining weeks in Kent stretched before her, an exhausting quagmire of obligation and secrecy. She desperately wanted to seek the counsel of her beloved Jane, but how much could she say? She opened the door of her dearest friend’s home to find the ladies of the house in quite a state.

  “Oh, Lizzy!” Maria exclaimed. “You have missed the colonel! He was here for above half an hour!”

  “I cannot imagine he remained for so long a time only to entertain us,” said Charlotte with a knowing look at her friend.

  “And I cannot imagine what he would have to say to me that was so important. I regret having missed him.” She suspected the colonel must have been waiting to bear out the truth of Mr Darcy’s letter. No matter her protestations to the contrary, Elizabeth could not regret missing him. Approaching such a delicate subject could not be thought of and the knowledge of his visit was enough to confirm Darcy’s story.

  “He seemed sorry to leave without seeing you, Eliza. I confess that as he is a second son, his attentions are surprising. I feel I must caution you. It is not a match his family is likely to favour. Nor yours, for that matter. Though it might offend your nature, you cannot marry without some consideration for money.”

  “What? Oh no, Charlotte!” Elizabeth almost laughed in spite of herself and could not help but smile broadly at her friend’s suggestion. “The colonel has no intentions of that kind towards me. We are only good friends. He has made me no promises and, in fact, has told me of his need to marry well. I am perfectly safe from Colonel Fitzwilliam.”

  Maria excused herself. “Charlotte, I have only now remembered I have yet to write Mama this week. If you will excuse me, I believe I will attend to it as I wish to put it in today’s post.” With that, she put away her work and quit the room.

  Charlotte waited some moments before speaking again. “I am pleased to know the colonel has not been toying with your affections, Elizabeth. But if he was not here for himself, then I can think of only one other reason for him to pay such a long visit.”

  “Whatever do you mean, Charlotte?” Elizabeth’s smile was not so quick or so natural this time.

  “You know perfectly well what I mean. If he did not come for himself, then he came for Mr Darcy. That gentleman’s absence did not go unnoticed last night, at least not by me. He became restless the moment he heard you were ill and soon after found an excuse to leave the company. He did not return for the remainder of the evening. Now, I am certain Mr Collins did not see, for he would surely have spoken of it, but I saw Mr Darcy walking towards Rosings as we travelled home. He appeared to be coming from this direction.” Her tone softened. “Please, Lizzy, will you not confide in me?”

  “Charlotte, I…oh, I cannot say.” Seeing the look of alarm on her friend’s face, Elizabeth amended her words. “Nothing untoward. We exchanged words. That is all.” Elizabeth would not be moved to divulge any further intelligence of the previous evening’s events or the motives for Colonel Fitzwilliam’s visit.

  “Colonel Fitzwilliam tells us the gentlemen plan to depart Kent for Derbyshire in the morning.”

  “They have been here for three weeks. Certainly, the colonel must soon return to his regiment and Mr Darcy to his estate and his sister.” Elizabeth hoped the relief she felt at this knowledge was not visible in her countenance. Perhaps her remaining weeks in Kent would not be so terrible after all.

  Elizabeth sat with Charlotte in comfortable silence, contemplating the events of the day as they worked their needles. Her friend appeared to be making considerably better progress on her piece while Elizabeth was ready to give hers up as lost. She was tearing out a stitch for the third time when the housekeeper appeared. “Miss Anne de Bourgh,” she announced.

  Charlotte nearly dropped her needlepoint. “Show her in. Have a tea tray brought in as well.” A glance at Charlotte told her that she too was surprised at their guest. Miss de Bourgh frequently stopped by in her phaeton, but she did not usually come inside to call. The ladies stood as Miss de Bourgh entered the room. Both Charlotte and Elizabeth curtseyed as Charlotte spoke. “Miss de Bourgh. I am honoured by your visit. Please, come in and sit with us.”

  Miss de Bourgh acknowledged their greetings and seated herself directly across from Elizabeth. “I do apologise for not sending a note. My mother is making calls with Mr Collins, and I thought to take this opportunity to call on you.”

  “Nonsense. We welcome the addition to our small party,” Charlotte said as the tea tray arrived. “May I offer you a cup of tea?”

  “Yes, please. Thank you, Mrs Collins.” Miss de Bourgh turned her attention to Elizabeth. “Miss Bennet, we missed you at dinner last evening. I trust you are well today?”

  “Yes. I am much recovered, thank you. Solitude and rest were all I required.”

  “I am happy to hear it. I understand that you frequently walk the paths around the parsonage. Perhaps when we have finished our tea, I can persuade you to join me for a ride in my phaeton? I shall show you all my favourite places.”

  Elizabeth hid her frown. “I shall be glad to join you.”

  Charlotte spoke again. “We were disappointed to hear, Miss de Bourgh, that your cousins will soon be departing. They have added a certain charm to our visits at Rosings. I am sure you have enjoyed their company these past weeks.”

  “They are both dear to me. We were much in one another’s company as children, though perhaps less so as we have grown. Richard is often away with his regiment, and Darcy must attend to Georgiana and the management of his own estate. Therefore, we must make the most of these yearly visits. That is why I am pleased to bring the news that they ar
e not to leave tomorrow after all.”

  Elizabeth startled and nearly spilt her tea. She could not trust herself to speak such were the thoughts tumbling through her head.

  Miss de Bourgh’s steadfast gaze caused Elizabeth to tremble slightly and her cup rattled as she set it back on the saucer. “Miss Bennet, are you well?”

  “Yes, thank you. Pray, forgive me. I believe you were saying the gentlemen intend to remain at Rosings?”

  “Yes. My mother can be persuasive.”

  “I believe all mothers are schooled in that particular art.”

  “You are very kind.” Miss de Bourgh sipped her tea demurely, offering Elizabeth a curious smile.

  “You seem in much better health yourself today, Miss de Bourgh.”

  Miss de Bourgh laughed lightly. “I find that my health is always better this time of year. Perhaps it is the change in weather.”

  The ladies continued to speak of generalities until at last Miss de Bourgh said, “Miss Bennet, I believe I have left the horses stand too long. Shall we? If it is convenient.”

  It was not at all convenient, as Elizabeth suspected Miss de Bourgh well knew. But she did not say so. Instead, she fetched her bonnet and gloves. “Are you sure you will not join us, Charlotte?” She cast a pleading look at her friend.

  “I cannot. Mr Collins and Lady Catherine shall return in but an hour, and there is much I wish to accomplish.”

  Setting off from the parsonage, she could not think why Miss de Bourgh would seek a private audience. Perhaps she, like Charlotte, had noticed Mr Darcy’s attentions to Elizabeth, and was here to remind Elizabeth of her own prior claims on his affections. Well, at least she could reassure Miss de Bourgh on that account. Other ladies might seek to make themselves the future Mrs Darcy, but she would not be among them. His good opinion, once lost, was lost forever.

  They drove without meaningful conversation for some minutes. Miss de Bough pointed out a copse of trees here, or a favoured meadow over there, and Elizabeth smiled encouragement and thanked her for her knowledge.

  Finally, unable to contain herself, Elizabeth spoke. “Forgive me for speaking so plainly, but I was of the impression that you did not often leave your home.”

  To her surprise, the other lady was neither embarrassed nor angry with the statement. Instead, she laughed. “You have found me out, Miss Bennet. But I must swear you to secrecy, for what I am about to confess is known by only four others in all the world. One is my companion and the other three my dearest cousins.”

  “I would not dream of breaking your confidence. Of that you may be certain.”

  “Although I am of a weak constitution, I am not so ill as my mother believes. I was once. I had a terrible lung sickness as a young girl. I recovered, but it left me weak, and my mother seems to prefer me in that state. As long as I get ample rest and sufficient fresh air, I am well enough.”

  “And your best opportunities for air come when your mother is engaged with Mr Collins?”

  Miss de Bourgh laughed lightly at the observation and replied, “You understand me perfectly. And now let us speak on another subject. I have already informed you that my cousins will not be leaving Kent tomorrow. It seemed that news was not altogether welcome to your ears.”

  Elizabeth was disconcerted to know her reaction had been noticed. “I was only surprised. Mr Darcy appears to be a man of decision. It seems once his course is fixed, he rarely deviates from his plan.”

  Miss de Bourgh smiled at Elizabeth’s assessment. “That is a generous appraisal of his character. And you are correct. However, certain circumstances have arisen that require his attention remain fixed here in Kent until Saturday next.”

  Elizabeth wondered if those circumstances were at all related to her but said only, “I see.”

  Anne continued. “I know you met my cousin last autumn in Hertfordshire. Were you often in company?”

  “We spent several days in the same house whilst I was caring for my sister Jane. Mr Darcy was a guest of our neighbours Mr Bingley and his sisters, and Jane became ill during a visit to Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst.”

  “Ah, yes. He mentioned a planned visit to Mr Bingley’s estate. I had wondered how he got on there. It cannot have been too great a trial. I am certain Miss Bingley was careful to see to his every comfort. She is most attentive of these matters. Is that where you were introduced?”

  “No. We first became acquainted at a public assembly.” Elizabeth did not wish to continue without discerning her companion’s intent. “Miss de Bourgh, to what do these questions portend?”

  Miss de Bourgh continued as though she did not hear Elizabeth’s question. “Oh dear. My cousin cannot abide such assemblies. I take it he did not acquit himself well?”

  “We neither of us performed to our best advantage that night, Miss de Bourgh.” Truly discomfited and having no wish to further discuss her first meeting with Mr Darcy, Elizabeth was silent for a moment. “If you mean to determine the nature of my acquaintance with your cousin, I can assure you that I have no designs on his fortune, his estate, or his person.”

  “Do not worry yourself, Miss Bennet. My only affection for Mr Darcy is that of a cousin who has long been more like a brother to me. Anything more exists only in the mind of my mother. I did not seek you out to measure a rival. I came to determine my cousin’s chances for happiness. I know we are not to speak openly of such things and therefore I shall blame both my frequent absence from polite society and my mother’s unparalleled example of frankness for my lapse.”

  Elizabeth looked at her companion in astonishment. “I beg your pardon.”

  “There is no need for that. But my cousin, that is Mr Darcy, perhaps, should beg yours.” Miss de Bourgh met her eyes. “I shall speak plainly. My cousin’s attentions to you have not gone unnoticed.”

  Elizabeth could not help but interrupt. “Mr Darcy barely speaks in my presence unless we are arguing. If anything, he has made it clear from the beginning of our acquaintance that I do not meet with his approval.” Elizabeth felt the weight of her statement even as she made it. Had he not but last night declared his most ardent love? But passion was not the same as esteem. She knew this well enough from her parents’ marriage.

  Her companion merely smiled and continued. “I can see how it would appear that way to one who does not know him well. Allow me to tell you what I have seen. He has taken a sudden liking to walking the park at the same time every day when previously he was wont to ride. When you enter a room, his eyes seek you out immediately and leave you only out of civility to others. Even if he does not join in, he always places himself near enough to hear any conversation in which you partake. He listens to your every word with undivided attention. True, he does not often speak, but I think it is because you so frequently cause him to lose his tongue.”

  “But why are you telling me this? Surely he would not be pleased to know you were here and speaking on his behalf.” Elizabeth could not help but smile at the thought.

  “He would likely be furious. Nonetheless, here I am. The details are not mine to tell, but I can tell you this much: since his boyhood, Fitzwilliam Darcy has had to contend with fortune-hunting ladies, their mamas, and those who would use him merely for his connexions. He learnt many years ago to affect an attitude of complete indifference in order to protect himself. He has not looked upon a woman with such admiration as he does you in years. I would dare say, he has never looked on another as he does you. I have great affection for my cousin, and I would not want to see him pursue that which he can never attain. I have no right to ask, and you are by no means obliged to answer, but, if I am correct, I believe I may be of some assistance. So please tell me, Miss Bennet, have you any regard at all for my cousin?”

  She did not hate him as she had thought the previous night. Having read his letter and given much thought to its contents, she could no longer believe him guilty of malice or cruelty. But neither did she look to him with particular regard. In truth, Elizabeth did not know the answ
er.

  “Miss de Bourgh, that particular question is one I am not prepared to answer.”

  “Perhaps I seek too much. After all, one cannot go from complete dislike to more congenial feelings in the space of few moments. And yet,” Miss de Bourgh said boldly, “I would like to know something of your thoughts so that I may determine my course. Do you despise my cousin?”

  Elizabeth paused to compose some semblance of an answer. “While I have not always esteemed Mr Darcy, I have recently come into some intelligence that caused me to question my understanding of both his character and my own. I am prepared to acknowledge there may be more of good in him than I previously knew.”

  This admission was as much as Elizabeth could make. She did not know her own feelings at that moment. His letter, while certainly acquitting him of all ill intent, was still full of arrogance and selfish disdain, and she could not yet forgive him for his manner of presenting himself or for his interference between Jane and Mr Bingley.

  By now, they had nearly returned to the parsonage. “Thank you, Miss Bennet. I shall know how to act.” As Elizabeth stepped down from the phaeton, Miss de Bourgh said, “You are all invited to dine at Rosings tonight. Please give my apologies to Mrs Collins for not delivering the invitation to her in person.”