The Drachma Killers (The Last Warrior of Unigaea Book 2)

by Harmon Cooper

  “He seemed pretty pissed that someone hacked it to pieces.”

  “I’m sure he was. Anyway, fuck, how’d we start talking about jerky for the last five minutes? Here’s the deal, tough guy: I’ll give you a pretty good-sized care package from what I have left if you rid me of that goddamn rhino. Revenge is a dish best served by the end of a big ass sword, if you get my drift. You won’t find this stuff anywhere else in Unigaea, believe you me. But I got dibs on the rhino hide and whatnot, ’cause my wife wanted me to bring something home and a rhino hide is something. So, what do you say, Player Killer? We have a deal here?”

  Side quest alert!

  You have been asked by a merchant to kill a mountain rhino that destroyed most of his goods.

  Risks: Death and/or injury.

  Rewards: A package of rare items and EXP.

  Do you want to help the merchant?

  [Yes or No]

  “Want to take on a rhino, boy?” Wolf sits on his haunches and yawns. I place my hand on his head and give his ear a good scratch. “Well?” He makes a whimpering sound, licks his lips, and looks up at me with his big blue-green eyes.

  “I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’ Sure, mister, we’ll do it.”

  (^_^)

  “There he is, right over there,” the merchant whispers. We are crouched behind a couple of bushes jutting out from a small hillside. The rhino, about the size of an aeros minivan, stands with his ass facing us, a trail of loose items scattered to the right of him.

  I don’t know if this little side quest was what the Obelisk had in mind for my future, but I can always run away if the rhino gets too angry.

  So there’s that.

  “I swear to the gods these rhinos are demon spawns,” growls the merchant. “And there’s so many of them up here. I mean, look at that big fucker!”

  The rhino’s ears twitch. It turns its head to the right, revealing its beak-shaped lip and set of two horns, each nearly a foot long. Its little tail flaps and it drops a deuce, peppering its digital shit with a spray of urine akin to a fire hydrant going off.

  “It’s really big.”

  The merchant snorts. “Staring at its pecker, ain’t ya? Yup, I knew you was a wolf-boy fucker, but hey, whatever floats your boat.”

  Wolf-boy fucker?

  “I’m going to take his pecker too, once you kill it. Sell that shit to one of the dumbass shamans near the coast. You’d be surprised how much healing juju they can strain out of a flaccid rhino penis. What can I say? What they do ain’t my business as long as they help me grow my business. You get me?”

  “I don’t, and I wasn’t referring to its penis, and I’m definitely not a wolf-boy fucker, whatever the hell that is. But fine, whatever, if shamans will pay you good lira for a rhino dick, who am I to stop you?”

  “I like your thinking.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “But the reward for taking this rhino down better be worth my time. I have real shit to do.”

  He shoots me a toothy grin that would be toothier if he had more than six teeth. “Trust me, Player Killer, the merchandise the rhino didn’t get is worth its weight in tits and hand jobs.”

  “That’s a unit of measurement?”

  He nods. “Where I’m from, yeah.”

  “And where are you from?” I drop my hand to my side and touch the top of Wolf’s head. He’s crouched next to me, completely immersed in the hunt.

  “Karuna.”

  “I need to get back there. It’s peaceful.”

  “Not the part I’m from,” he says under his breath. Somehow, this comment makes me think of Chicago. Odd the change in scenery and lifestyle just a few blocks over. I wave the thought away and return to the task at hand. “Stay here.”

  “Like I’m stupid enough to go fuck with that rhino. Good luck, Player Killer.”

  With that, he sneaks back a bit, just to be sure he has plenty of room to get away if things go sour.

  I drop next to Wolf and point my hand at the rhino. “Go around the front; distract him. I’ll come up from the back.”

  [Mountain Rhino, Level 10]

  Wolf gets the gist when I make a sweeping gesture with my hand.

  Keeping low to the ground like a cobra, the Tagvornin beast takes his sweet time going the long way around. If the Rhino stops to snort and look in his general direction, Wolf pauses, his dark fur making him no more than a shadow.

  This is the type of stalking that takes time, and it’s a good fifteen minutes before Wolf is on the other side of the rhino, directly in front of him but situated behind a few shrubs.

  “Easy boy,” I whisper as he gets into position.

  He locks eyes onto me and with a loud bark, he bursts from his hiding spot. The rhino takes a step back, gets his bearings and swings his horns forward.

  Wolf skids to a halt just in time and jumps back to miss the horns, barking wildly the entire time.

  Here goes nothing.

  I advance towards the rhino, Wolf continuing to distract him from the front. One shot, one kill is on my mind, but I’m also not dumb enough to think I’ll be able to get the rhino as easily as I’d like.

  With a running leap, I swipe my Splintered Sword against the creature’s tough hide.

  -93 HP!

  It swings back and the tip of its larger horn connects with my armor. I’m tossed aside; the rhino snorts, cries out, and kicks up more dust as it tries to charge me.

  Wolf pounces onto its back and digs his teeth into the wound I’ve opened up.

  “Careful!” I shout as the rhino twists around, Wolf hanging on for dear life as the rhino tries to buck him off.

  This is going to take some timing, I think as I stand several feet away from the action, bristling as I wait for my opening. My heart twists as Wolf is tossed off, hits the ground, and flips once.

  “Wolf!”

  I’m running with my Splintered Sword at the ready before I can even think of my next move.

  As the rhino turns from Wolf to me, I twist my sword around, grab it with the other hand and hold it like a dagger.

  With both hands on the blade, I crouch left as the rhino charges, his head tilted forward. Pressing off my opposite foot just in time, I bring my jagged weapon into the rhino’s fat side belly, holding on for dear life as the rhino stumbles to a halt.

  -169 HP! Critical hit!

  I bail just before it gets me with its horn, leaving my blade jutting out of its side. The rhino, its eyelids crusted over with big warts, tries to get its bearings as it turns to me.

  “Fuck that rhino up!”

  I glance right to see the merchant, cheering me on from a safe distance.

  Bad move.

  “Shit!” The rhino tosses me up into the air, my vision pane flashing as I sail over his head.

  I land in a position that would make a gymnast cringe. It’s not quite a full plough pose, but it does hurt like a bitch. Defying all laws of physics, I snap right back up onto my feet and go for my weapon, which is nonexistent because it’s still stuck in the side of the rhino’s body.

  Limping, Wolf does his damndest to charge the rhino.

  He’s nursing his back leg and as soon as he nears the beast, it whips its horn at him in a mad frenzy.

  I move over to Wolf and step in front of him. “Stay back!” I shout over my shoulder.

  The rhino, my blade still sticking out of its side, makes a half circle and starts to move away from us, wheezing with each step and kicking up dust. Wolf and I look to each other, ostensibly thinking the same thing.

  We follow the rhino.

  Keeping our distance, we trail behind the wheezing, bleeding rhino. It stomps its hooves against the ground, hoping to get us to leave it the hell alone, its body swaying with each step.

  The merchant catches up with us a few minutes later, totally out of breath.

  “Say, aren’t you going to kill it?” he asks, his hands on his knees.

  “We are killing it,” I tell him.

  “I was expectin
g something a little more heroic, something I could tell the grandkids about. Not gonna lie, Player Killer, I figured you’d be riding that thing right about now, stabbing it in the neck and drinking the blood gusherin’ up into the air. Whoo! That’d be a sight to see!”

  “He’ll die just the same. My blade has stirred up his internal organs; his movement will only exacerbate this.”

  “Exer-what the fuck are you going on about?” He snorts. “Never met a smart Player Killer!”

  Wolf takes one look up at merchant and bares his teeth.

  “Shit, mister, you need to get hold of your dog.”

  “If you’re not quiet, he’ll get hold of you.”

  My last phrase seems to do the trick.

  The merchant keeps his trap shut as we continue to follow the rhino, who is losing steam fast. He drags his back legs now, huffs and gruffs as he continues to the other side of the valley. His blood blackens the ground, each movement he takes making his wound that much worse as my three-pronged blade digs in even deeper.

  The rhino finally falls, and Wolf temporarily forgets his wounded leg as he speeds over to the beast and goes for its jugular.

  “Gruesome stuff,” the merchant says as Wolf does what he does best, ripping and tearing at the rhino’s neck.

  I turn to the merchant and smile. “I believe you owe me something.”

  “Yeah, I suppose I do, but tell your dog not to mess with the horns or the pecker.”

  I shake my head at the crude merchant. “He won’t. Now, the merchandise you promised.”

  I place my hand on the hilt of my sword so he gets the hint of what may happen if he reneges on his promise.

  “Cool your ass, Player Killer, I’ll get you your shit. Here’s what I got.” The merchant crouches and spreads a few items out on the ground. “This one here is called Aramis weed; this ain’t ganja, though, just a weed. From Aramis. I got a ton of it.” He drops several bundles onto the ground. “You can have it all.”

  “Aramis? That’s not a place in Unigaea, unless it’s a new city.”

  “None of my shit is from Unigaea. I got a hook-up in Tritania.” He eyes me suspiciously. “Nope, not gonna tell you his name.”

  “I didn’t ask.” I examine the Aramis weed, which is long and fibrous. “What’s it do?”

  “It’s explosive, but that’s not all I have for you. Here’s some wizardous.” He tosses me a small sack of white powder.

  “This looks like some sort of drug.”

  “No idea what it is. I tried to use it as salt and it didn’t taste very good.”

  “Then why are you giving it to me?”

  He laughs. “It’s your reward for killing that damn rhino. You figure out how to use it yourself. Last but not least … ”

  He produces a small burlap sack filled with clipped yellow roots that remind me of red potatoes.

  “And this does what exactly?”

  “It’s called Jatla root. I tried this one, boiled it up with some wild onions. It increases your stamina. How the hell do you think I got up into these mountains? I ran my happy little ass up here, that’s how! Mix it with your dog’s food or chop it up and snort it; you’ll be scooting along real fast. One more thing … ” He takes a piece of thick rope from his pack. “Do you have any rope?”

  “Not at the moment.”

  “Then take this stuff. It isn’t from Tritania or anything, but it’s the same stuff the giants in Tael use for tug-o-war competitions. Well, theirs is thicker, but fuck me, you’re a Player Killer, you should be carrying rope. And I know how you like thick things.” He winks at me.

  “Seriously?”

  “What? Just fuckin’ with you, buddy!”

  Wolf loosens his grip on the rhino’s tethered throat and the dead beast drops its head onto the soil.

  Wolf level up!

  Nice, I think as I turn away from the merchant.

  “So that’s it, not even a thank you?”

  I turn back to him. “Thank you?”

  “No problem!” He claps his hands together. “Glad we could do business. See you around, Player Killer!”

  Chapter Six: Take a Peek

  “Come here, boy,” I say to Wolf once we are away from the annoying merchant. Glad to be rid of him. I don’t yet know if the items he gifted me for slaying the rhino are worth it, but there’s nothing I can do about that now, and at least Wolf got a level.

  The Tagvornin beast limps over to me and takes a seat. “We’ll see about that limp next,” I tell him. He senses what I’m saying and growls. “Nope, not going to argue with you about it. We need to get to Tin Ingot and you aren’t going to make it with that limp.”

  I pull up his stats.

  Wolf Ruffian

  Class: Level 5 Tagvornin Wolf

  Subclass: N/A

  INFAMY: 82 Players killed

  HP: 1016/1431

  HP recovery rate: 1.2% per minute

  ATK: 246

  DEF: 322

  Attributes

  STRENGTH: 11

  WILL: 4

  DEXTERITY: 6

  MIND: 4

  SPEED: 5

  “I hope I don’t regret doing this … ” I say as I place all three points in MIND.

  The expression on Wolf’s face suddenly changes as his pupils intensify.

  “Relax,” I tell him as I pop the cork out of the healing potion.

  His lips lift into a snarl.

  “I’m still in charge here, and I don’t care if I have to wrestle you down and pry this in your mouth, you have to drink it. Look at your leg.”

  He does as instructed and looks back to me, an ironic smirk on his face.

  “Um, okay, look at that tree.” I point and he follows my finger to the tree.

  Okay, any dog can do that, I think.

  “How about this? If you can understand me better now, blink twice.”

  Wolf blinks twice.

  “Blink three times.”

  Wolf blinks three times.

  “Damn, all right, um, bite your tail.”

  He shakes his head.

  “I’m just trying to test if you really can understand me or not. This isn’t the time to protest!”

  Wolf sighs and reaches his neck back. He opens his jaw and stops just short of biting his tail.

  “Okay, bark once, nod your head up and down, growl at me, and make one complete circle around me.”

  Wolf does as instructed. Once he’s back in front of me, he sits onto his haunches and gives me the “happy now?” look.

  “So you’re getting smarter …Good, but don’t think you’re suddenly smarter than me. Remember, I’m the one who can speak here.”

  He barks.

  “See? No one understands you. But enough. Good boy. You did good back there.”

  Wolf smiles at me genuinely and lifts his head so I can pet his snout.

  “Now I know you don’t like this, but you’re going to have to suck it up and drink it. Easy way or hard way?”

  Wolf bares his teeth, relaxes, throws his head back and sticks out his tongue.

  “Good, easy way. Just hold tight and try to get it down in one gulp.”

  I approach his open jaw cautiously. I’d like to not lose my hand today, or any day for that matter, and akin to a crocodile’s jaw, once Wolf snaps his teeth shut he rarely lets go.

  Hovering about seven inches above his open mouth, I look at him in the eyes, remind him nonverbally not to fight back, and tip the healing potion in.

  +200 HP!

  Wolf gets most of it back and I pull away just in time. He dry heaves, eats a bit of grass, and gives up his protest at just about the same time he notices he can walk better. A normal animal might not show appreciation for this, but Wolf suddenly gets it. He sits on his haunches and opens his mouth again.

  “Good!” I tell him as I pour the rest in.

  +200 HP!

  Wolf shakes his head, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. I laugh, and once he’s done with his dramatic act, I
hop on and we take off to the northwest. “Wait,” I tell him as I hop off again. “You deserve a treat.”

  I grab a sliver of the blue melon jerky from my list, take a small bite from it, and toss him the rest.

  (^_^)

  We travel in silence for some time. A day that began with a funeral pyre has passed rather quickly, and dealing with the merchant took longer than I thought it would.

  Wolf rides gently at first, still nursing his leg just in case it cramps up. Once he’s sure of himself, he takes off at a good clip and we’re slowed only by the occasional random confrontation, all of which we avoid as I’d like to get to Tin Ingot by nightfall.

  We travel up a series of hills marked by trees with overhanging vines. The sour scent of tree pollen hovers in the air. We are cautious as we move through this part, as I know for a fact that witches haunt these viney woods, many of whom live in nest-like homes in the branches above us.

  Fuck, if I’m not on edge as we move through, Wolf’s ears twitching at anything that could signal someone approaching us. Moharian cicadas frequent these woods as well, and their loud drone makes it damn-near impossible to focus on anything, let alone a potential hostile creeping towards us.

  Smoke coming from a clearing up ahead catches my eye.

  Who would camp out anywhere near these woods?

  As we get closer, Wolf starts to sniff at the ground. He stops before a severed hand, ants and insects already swarming all over it. I slide off Wolf, noticing some of the leaves are still wet with blood.

  After drawing my sword, I creep forward just a bit more, the light from the clearing now cutting into the dense woods. A puddle of muddy water provides me an opportunity to darken my complexion, just in case something is patrolling the area up ahead.

  I take a small hair tie from my pocket and pull my hair back.

  Once it’s tight and in a top knot, I dip my fingertips into the puddle of mud and bring some up to my face to make sure it isn’t blood.

  I place my hand in again, scoop some of the mud out of the bottom of the puddle and begin covering my face and the exposed portion of my arms. Once I’m good and muddied up, I drop to my belly next to Wolf.

  “Ready?” I ask him.