All I Need

by Jennifer Van Wyk

  Instead, I quickly shoot off a quick message through the computer system to the rest of the staff and let them know that sandwiches are being delivered and we’ll be taking a long lunch on me today.

  Within thirty seconds, Linda pops her head into my office, winks then giggles and walks away. Everyone thinks they know me so well. It’s possible I’m a little transparent but would it hurt anyone to not acknowledge it?

  Twenty minutes later Grayson stops by my office with a box in his arms. “Sandwiches delivered freaky fast per your random request.” He shoots me a cocky grin then continues walking to the break room area before I can get in a word.

  I groan and toss the pen I was holding. It skids across my desk before landing next to a frame holding my favorite collage picture of me with the turd. He had it made for me last Christmas. The collage is a collection of snapshots of us over the years. I’ve been there with Grayson for every single one of his firsts. When he first ate solid food, learned to walk, even when he discovered the joy of his little pecker. He was in the bathtub at my house and looked down, flicked it and looked up at me as if he’d just discovered his new favorite toy. When he started going to school, little league and soccer… every memorable moment and so many more that meant nothing but spending time together so they meant everything. If I think back over time, I can maybe… kind of… just a little bit see where Miss Polly is coming from.

  He’s been my life, my world. I can’t imagine a day not seeing him or talking to him. Grayson may be my nephew but he’s also my buddy, my side kick. It’s not as if Willow has ever expected me to spend this much time with him—it’s come naturally and I’ve never questioned it.

  Until now.

  Until I met someone who I could potentially see a future with.

  Even only knowing Ellie for a week, not even dating yet—my shoulders don’t feel as weighed down just knowing that she’s here. At first I thought maybe it was about our physical chemistry, which is absolutely undeniable.

  After spending only a small amount of time with her, it’s obviously more than that. And that terrifies me more than anything.

  I push away from my desk and make my way into the break room. The first thing I hear is Linda’s laughter and it makes me smile. Even with as much as she has going on at home with her husband’s health, she never fails to bring happiness to the clinic. I’m going to miss her and her light. Now that I’m standing on the other side of the door listening as the staff talks and jokes around with each other, I’m happier than I was before that I had Grayson order lunch for everyone. I feel like a selfish ass that I didn’t plan a going away party for her already so I’ll have to make some last minute arrangements to do something special for her next week.

  “This was really nice of Walker to buy us lunch,” I hear Ellie say when the chatter dies down. “Shouldn’t we check to make sure he’s coming?”

  I suck in a breath at the sound of her voice and the way she’s thinking of me.

  “I told him it was here. He’s on his way,” Grayson says.

  I take a few seconds so it doesn’t look like I was standing beside the door eavesdropping before walking into the breakroom.

  My eyes immediately find Ellie’s and I wink, not being able to help myself. I want the right to march over and kiss her.

  She doesn’t even blush, just smiles widely and takes a huge bite of her sandwich like she knew I was there the entire time. It makes me chuckle and shake my head.

  “Head’s up!” Grayson hollers moments before a sub flies through the air. I catch it easily and walk over to the fridge we keep stocked with drinks and grab a soda then I grab a bag of chips from the box and settle in next to Linda, across from Ellie, and begin eating.

  “This guy knows how to make a good sandwich, huh?”

  I smile, nod, and take a bite of my number ten.

  “So how are you liking it here?”

  “It’s been a good morning. Linda’s showed me that she basically runs everything and there’s no way that you will possibly survive without her.”

  “True story. You up to the task?”

  “Of filling her shoes? No way.”

  “Oh.” I can’t help the disappointment that I hear in my voice. I really thought she’d accept my offer for the job. My eyes dart to Grayson who’s pretending not to be relaying everything he’s hearing to his mom. His hands are moving furiously over his phone but since the only way he communicates with his friends is through snapchat, the only person he texts besides me is his mom. He’s as bad as Miss Polly.

  He looks up at me and smirks as he polishes off the last of his first sandwich before unwrapping another. Man, teen boys eat a ton of food.

  “It’s okay. I get it,” I finally tell her when I finally swallow down the chunk of bread and meat that seemed to be lodged in my throat.

  “Huh?” she asks, head tilted to the side as she studies me with her eyebrows furrowed.

  “I get it. I told you there’d be no hard feelings if you didn’t want to take the job and I meant it.”

  You could hear a pin drop in the small break room as Ellie stares at me, a look covering her face that I can’t quite place. Probably because I don’t know her all that well at all.

  “You misunderstood me,” she says. Her hand reaches out as though she’s going to take my hand in hers but then she pulls back as if she thinks better of it. She clears her throat and sits up taller in her chair. “I, um, didn’t mean that I didn’t want to take the job. I do, actually.”

  “You do?” Damn if my voice doesn’t sound hopeful. I need to rein this in, especially if she’s now going to be my employee. It’s like the triple threat of reasons not to pursue her. She’s basically a runaway bride. We’ve only known each other a short amount of time. She’s now my employee.

  “Duh,” she teases. “I mean, there’s no way that I’ll be able to replace Linda but I can handle the work and I like the people here,” she pauses to look around to the rest of the staff, flashing a bright smile their way. “Plus, what else am I going to do with my time? Bug Miss Polly all day long?”

  “I doubt if you’d be bugging her,” I murmur.

  “You rescinding your offer?”

  “What? No. I just meant I doubt anyone would think you spending time with them would be a bother.”

  She grins and bites her lip. She looks at Linda quickly but my eyes don’t leave hers and the words she says next make the smile on my face grow. I’m sure I look ridiculous. In fact, I think I see Grayson raise his phone and take a picture in my direction but I can’t bring it in me to care.

  “Well then, it looks like you’re stuck with me for a while.”

  THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON went by in a blur. Since I accepted Walker’s job offer, Linda has been going over everything she does in a day starting with the phones and appointment process. The list of what she handles at the clinic isn’t short, by any means, but focusing on learning her job kept me busy and my mind off the fact that I probably just made the biggest mistake of my life.

  Well, after accepting the ring from Gary.

  And Michael.

  Shit.

  Maybe my decision-making abilities are worse than I thought.

  Hopefully this is the first good decision I’ve made in my life.

  Linda has just finished showing me her filing system when Walker walks around the corner into the back office. He leans a shoulder against the door and waits patiently as she shows me one more thing on the computer.

  “You coming?”

  I narrow my eyes as I try to piece together what he’s talking about. “Huh?”

  “Pregnant cows. Sanders’s farm.”

  “Oh.”

  “So, you coming with me, or not?” It’s then I notice he’s no longer wearing a pair of scrubs but is now in jeans, dark brown work boots that look like he’s worn them for years, and a bright blue pocket t-shirt that hugs his biceps pretty damn gloriously.

  My stomach clenches as I take in the sight before
me.

  Michael was a pretty boy. He was the epitome of what people assume a frat boy to look like. Perfectly styled hair, popped collar. And Gary, well, we’ve already established what he’s like. If someone asked him to wear a pair of work boots he’d probably curl up in the corner and cry.

  I settled for the wrong kind of men.

  My entire life I had no idea what I was looking for—aside from the opposite of what I knew of my father. Clearly, I was wrong. No two hometown, country, working boys are created equally and the one standing in front of me right now, heat in his gaze as he watches my chest rise and fall, is enough to make me squirm in my chair.

  He raises his eyebrows as Linda nudges me with her elbow. “Hon, Walker asked you something.”

  Right. He asked if I was coming. I suppose it’d be inappropriate for me to tell my new boss that he was about to make me come.

  “Uh huh. I’d love to come with you,” I can’t stop myself from saying.

  He grins and looks away quickly.

  “I’ll follow you to Miss Polly’s, drop your car off so you can ride with me. Can’t wear that pretty dress out to the cows. You got any old clothes?”

  “Old clothes as in…”

  “Stuff you don’t mind getting covered in cow shit, darlin’.”

  “Can’t say as though I do. Though, I’m sure it washes out, right?”

  “It does. Got some of those black pants that women seem to love?”

  “Yoga pants? Leggings? Sweats?”

  “Any of those.”

  “Of course.”

  I basically live in them when I’m at home.

  “Wear a pair of those and I’ll get you a shirt. I think Willow has a pair of Hunter boots here you can use that we’ll grab before you go home to change.”

  Home.

  This is home now.

  Never felt at home at Gary’s in his 90’s porn bedroom, that’s for sure.

  “She won’t mind?”

  “Of course not. But we better get going. If we time it right, we’ll finish up checking the cows in time for Mrs. Sanders’s pot roast.”

  “What? I’m missing pot roast?” Grayson shouts from somewhere in the clinic. How he heard that, I’ll never know.

  “You took the entire pie!” Walker shouts back.

  He pokes his head into the room. “Because you left. What was I supposed to do? Not eat pie? That’s dumb. No one would blame me.”

  Walker rolls his eyes. “Letting her use your mom’s boots.”

  Grayson shrugs and mutters, “Whatever,” then walks away.

  I can’t tell if he’s still mad because he’s not getting the infamous Mrs. Sanders’s pot roast or if he truly just doesn’t care one way or the other if I wear his mom’s boots. Chances are, a little of both.

  I grab my purse from under the desk and walk toward the door. “We’ll see you tomorrow, Linda,” Walker says before he guides me through the back door, grabbing a pair of bright green, tall rubber boots as he goes. He hands them to me and I clutch them to my chest. “I think those will work. Looks like about the same size, anyway. You might have to throw on an extra pair of socks if they’re a little too big. You’re kinda tiny.”

  “I am not.”

  “You are.”

  He places a hand on my lower back. I’ve always read about that move, and seen it in movies, but none of the men I’ve been with have ever done it. I didn’t realize how incredibly sexy it is until this moment. It makes no sense. It’s a hand and a back. But it’s the action that leaves me unable to speak.

  My tongue is glued to my mouth and I can barely squeak out a good bye to Linda.

  His thumb moves in a small circle and my skin heats up even with the material of my dress as a barrier. I chance a peek up at him as we walk to my car.

  His facial hair has grown in a little more than it was yesterday and my fingers itch to feel it. The hand that’s still resting on my back flexes and I wonder if he can tell that I’m staring at him. Chances are he can, especially since he’s right next to me and I’m not doing a very good job at hiding it.

  We stop by my car and he leans down just slightly, moving his hand from my back to my hip in a move that feels so natural, so effortless, it’s like he’s touched me this way millions of times before.

  “You…”

  “Me?”

  He shakes his head and leans in even closer. “It’s gonna be tough.”

  “What is?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

  He doesn’t respond right away, his eyes moving over my face as if he’s cataloging all my features. He squeezes my hip once and licks his lips. “You know.”

  I feel like I’ve run a marathon, or maybe around the block. Because I don’t run. But my point—I’m breathing heavy and can’t stop myself when I lean a little closer as well. Because I do. I know exactly what he’s talking about. And he’s right.

  It’s going to be very tough.

  And hard too.

  Hopefully.

  Oh geesh.

  I can’t even think normal.

  I’m screwed.

  Hopefully.

  I quickly throw on the oldest pair of yoga pants I can find in my dresser. They possibly have a tiny hole in the butt. I don’t really care. They’re so perfect at this point that I could wear them every single day. I also pull on my thickest pair of socks I normally reserve for wintertime because it turns out that Willow is a full size bigger than me. But the boots are strangely cute for being made of rubber and I’ll definitely be ordering a pair for myself soon.

  The problem comes when I put on the t-shirt Walker handed me right after I parked my car. Why the problem? Because it’s obviously one of his. And smells like him and that’s far from a bad thing but as I stand in my bedroom smelling the shirt for a stupid amount of time before I realize what I’m doing, I have to fight back the desire to moan. It’s the perfect combination of man and whatever body wash or laundry detergent he uses. There’s not even a hint of expensive cologne, which is what I’m used to, and I can’t believe I’ve been missing this my entire life.

  I tie a knot in the side because it’s swimming on me, but the well-worn material is incredibly soft and I’m positive I’m never giving it back to him. Unless, of course, it’s covered in cow poo at the end of the night. Which it sounds is quite possible. In that case, I’ll have to wrangle another one from him somehow because this shirt is cotton heaven.

  I allow myself one more good sniff then toss my hair in a messy bun and make my way back downstairs.

  “I’ll be back later, Miss Polly,” I tell her as I bend down to kiss her cheek. When I came home a few minutes ago I promised her I’d tell her all about my first day later but that Walker was waiting for me so I needed to hurry. This was done very strategically. I knew that using him as an excuse would be the only way she would allow me to pass by her without giving her a full report.

  “Have a good evening with Walker.”

  “And pregnant cows.”

  “Pardon?”

  “He’s taking me to some farm with pregnant cows.”

  “He’s so romantic.”

  “Right? I swooned the whole way home,” I joke. Even though I really did. After him practically burning a hole in the material of my dress from resting his strong hand against my back, and just being in his presence all day long, I could have skipped home.

  Her voice stops me in my tracks when I turn around. “Ellie?”

  “Yeah?”

  “To him, it is.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek to stop the tears from forming because just a few weeks ago I was preparing to marry another man. Today I can’t even think of anyone but Walker and feel butterflies over going to see pregnant cows with him, cow poo or no cow poo. And now I’m living in this woman’s house who I adore and feel like I’ve known my entire life. Life is so damn strange.

  “Go. Have fun,” she says. Her eyes soften before she looks back down at whatever she’s knitting in her lap.
r />   “Do you need me to bring you anything for dinner tonight?”

  “Oh shush. I can handle feeding myself. Besides, your lasagna is going to be even better the second time around.”

  I grin at her and kiss the top of her head then make my way back outside.

  Walker is sitting on the front porch and when I step through the door he stands and smiles.

  “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  He chuckles lightly then we make our way to his pickup. He opens my door and another glaringly obvious difference between the before and after slams into me. No one has ever opened my door for me. In all honesty, I thought it was something you only read about or saw in movies and it never bothered me to open my own door. It wasn’t as if I was incapable of doing so and it seemed so old fashioned.

  But standing next to Walker with his hand on the open-door frame while he holds it open so I can climb in his pickup, I understand why it’s one of the simplest but most adored actions in romance.

  Old fashioned or not, it’s sexy as hell.

  “You know I can open my own door.”

  “Where’s the fun in that?”

  I roll my eyes but can’t deny he speaks the truth.

  I climb in and he shuts the door before getting into the driver’s seat.

  “So tell me about these cows.”

  He glances at me quickly before returning his eyes to the windshield. “What do you want to know?”

  I shrug. “Whatever I need to know.”

  “You don’t like surprises?”

  “Well, the last surprise I received was walking in on my fiancé screwing my best friend so no, surprises aren’t really my thing.”

  I watch as his jaw hardens and his eyes narrow. It’s almost fascinating to see how strong of a reaction he seems to have at the mention of Gary. “Yeah, well, after meeting him, I’m not even sure what you saw in him in the first place.”

  “Me either,” I mutter. “Anyway, he’s not a factor or worth mentioning anymore. Tonight I’m meeting my first real life cow.”

  “You’ve never seen a cow before?”

  “Not in real life, no. I mean, I’ve passed farms on the highway and seen them in fields but I’ve never been up close and personal with one,” I tell him. The words are barely out of my mouth before a thought pops in to my head. “Wait a minute—just how up close and personal are we going to get today?”