Home: A Novel

by Rachel Smith

  I stood frozen in my tracks when she started to sing. It had been a lot of years since I heard that voice in person. Holy hell, she was amazing. And she wasn’t even in ‘performing’ mode. She was checking instrument levels, pointing to each band member and pointing up or down so it was adjusted perfectly. She wasn’t my Lillian right now. She was Lily Rae, and she was fucking incredible.

  When they were finished, she shook hands with each of the band members. They all stood around her in a huddle probably just as much in awe as I was at the moment. She started down the stairs and gave a little wave back to the band. “See you guys tomorrow,” she said over her shoulder.

  I walked toward her and noticed each of the guys completely checking her out as she walked away. I wanted to roll my eyes at them, but decided to have a little fun instead. When I got to Lil, I grabbed her around the shoulders and dipped her down for a long, drawn out, overly dramatic kiss.

  “What was that for?” she asked as we stood back up. I glanced up at the stage to see a pained, jealous look on each of their faces. Lil took note of the direction of my eyes and smacked me on the arm. “You’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me.”

  I grinned, grabbed her hand and walked back to the truck. “That, and you were fucking amazing up there. Seriously, Lil, you took my breath away.”

  She stopped walking and turned to face me. Sliding her hand into my hair, she pulled me down to meet her lips. After kissing me softly, she stayed close and whispered against my mouth, “Thanks, baby.” Her gentle words made something twist in my gut. I captured her mouth with mine one last time, licking her bottom lip to seek entrance. She immediately permitted my request and we stood in the street, making out like two teenagers in love, totally oblivious to anything happening around us.

  As I pulled away she stood perfectly still but her eyes were still closed. She smiled as I ran my thumb across her lips and jaw. “We better get going if we’re gonna see any of the football game tonight,” I whispered.

  “Okay,” she breathed. It seemed neither of us could find our voices.

  When she opened her eyes I saw something different in them. Something I’d never seen in them before. She looked content. She looked at peace. She looked like she’d finally found home.

  Chapter 17

  Lily

  Isensed the sheet sliding down my back as I struggled to bring myself fully awake. Whisper soft lips kissed across my shoulder blades then down my spine. Strong hands followed the soft kisses. Suddenly, my hips were pulled up and I felt a finger slide through my sensitive area. My eyes flew open as I became completely aware of what was happening.

  “Justin,” I whispered.

  “Sssshhh, let me say good morning to you properly.”

  He took his time as his fingers played between my legs. He continued to stroke me until I was primed, at which point he slowly entered a finger to see if I was ready. I heard a soft hum come from his throat, he removed his finger, and in one swift motion he slammed into me. All my senses came alive and my heart caught in my throat. “Oh good God,” I moaned.

  “Mmmm, yeah, honey,” Justin rasped while he continued to thrust into me over and over.

  For the next hour we said good morning to each other with no words, only groping, kissing, licking and biting. This was no leisurely morning of love-making. This was primal, needy, and just a tad bit rough.

  After we finished, we were both panting like we had just run a marathon. It was, by far, the best wakeup call I’d ever had in my entire life.

  “Get up, Bright Eyes, it’s time to get movin’,” Justin said as he kissed my cheek.

  “I don’t think I can move,” I said, my face still buried in my pillow.

  He laughed. “Get up. I’ll make you breakfast and then we need to get to your parents’ place. What time does Sarah get into town?”

  “I don’t remember exactly what time her flight arrives, but she said she’d be here sometime in the afternoon.”

  Sarah was hell bent on being in town for my little stint in front of the local crowd. At first I thought she was just being over protective and controlling, but the more I talked to her I think it also had something to do with Mr. Lyons. She would never come right out and say that to me though, she had gotten very skilled in dodging all questions pertaining to their ‘relationship’ or whatever you would call it.

  I got up to grab a quick shower and get dressed before we headed over to see my family. My brothers were all bringing their kids over to Mama and Dad’s while we went to the Harvest Festival. Mama had gotten the two gals from down the road to babysit for the night. I don’t know how the two of them were going to wrangle all seven kids, but at least a few of them were old enough to help out with the little ones. I was very much looking forward to a night out with my brothers and their wives. It was the first time Justin and I did something like this as a couple. It felt so normal, so domestic. I was giddy just thinking about it.

  Justin was a nervous wreck all day. I kept teasing him that this little crowd was nothing. One of the event planners had called me earlier in the week to let me know they were estimating almost five thousand people. That was more than double the entire population of Glenview.

  My brother, Alan, was also in a complete tizzy. He spent most of his week calling in extra cops from nearby towns. Even the sheriff from the next county was coming to help keep an eye on things. Alan was off duty for the night but he was still worried about crowd control.

  Then there was the issue of my safety. While the majority of Glenview was used to me being around again, I knew we’d have to deal with the out of town people and their celebrity issues. Justin had arranged for David and Evan to stay by my side the entire night. Evan was built like a brick shithouse and used to fight right alongside Justin back in the day. I think he figured between the three of them, they’d be able to handle anything that came their way. When Sarah showed up and got wind of this she came unglued.

  “Are you fucking insane?” she yelled at Justin. “You three are not professional bodyguards, you don’t have any clue what to expect or how to deal with crowd control. Jesus, it’s a good thing I decided to come back.” She looked directly at me. “You should know better, Lil. I can’t believe you were going to go along with this.”

  She punched some numbers into her phone and was in professional mode in an instant, rambling on about security, times, dates, and what was expected.

  “Payment?” she said into the phone and looked at me. I knew her well enough to know what she was asking. I nodded my head once letting her know I would take care of it. “Yes, Ms. Rae will take care of that. Do you need a credit card now? Or can we take care of this after I make sure your guys keep her safe?”

  Her face changed a little which I thought was off. She looked nervous.

  “You okay?” I mouthed as I got close to her. She just waved her hand and shook me off to continue her conversation.

  “Yeah, done deal. See you at seven o’clock this evening. We’ll meet you on the south side of the stage.” She beeped her phone off and threw it into her purse.

  “Thanks for taking care of that,” I said softly.

  “Don’t thank me,” she said instantly. She looked annoyed, maybe even a little angry.

  “Why not?”

  She shook her head. “No reason, I’m just used to it. It was my job for so long it’s almost second nature taking care of the things other people forget to think about.” She smiled at me but her eyes were filled with something else. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

  “Are you worried that David will be mad?” I asked.

  “Oh, yeah. I’m just off a little. He really throws me out of whack,” she said with a nervous laugh.

  “Yeah, these boys will do that do you,” I said.

  Sometime mid-afternoon I started getting ready. Sarah and all my sisters-in-law followed me up to my bedroom. I’d never had the whole girlfriend thing getting ready like this in my life. The girls went through my closets and re
maining suitcases on the floor to find the perfect outfit. They decided we were going for ‘down home country’ - whatever that meant. In the end they settled on a dark, almost black, pair of Dolce & Gabana blue jeans. Linda dug through the chest of drawers until she found a white spaghetti strap tank top with lace sewn into the top across the chest. With this, she added a burnt orange sweater with my dark brown leather jacket. Around my neck was a thin scarf full of teal, purple and orange highlights. I topped off the outfit with my Manolo Blahnic high heeled brown boots. They had a buckle mid-calf and another on the side of the foot. They completed the outfit perfectly and were kick ass. My feet would be killing me at the end of the night with the four inch heel, but I didn’t care. After my set I could sit at a table and relax.

  Becky worked on my makeup while Jenny did my hair. Sarah was in charge of making sure our glasses were never empty. I, however, just sipped my drink. I didn’t need to be getting on stage with a buzz or anything. Even though this wasn’t a stadium gig, I still wanted to be semi-professional. The Harvest Festival committee would not be happy with me if I got up in front of five thousand people and slurred through my songs.

  I gave my sisters-in-law free reign to go through my closet while I was getting ready and pick out whatever they wanted for the night. I thought Jenny was going to have an orgasm digging through my shoes.

  “These!” she yelled. “I choose these! Oh wait. No, these! Holy hell, Lil, I wanna be you so bad!”

  I laughed and made a mental note to buy Jenny some designer shoes for Christmas. “You can borrow my shoes any time you want, chickadee.”

  Once we were primped, primed and ready for a night out in the booming metropolis of Glenview, we made our way downstairs. The men were playing cards at the kitchen table, drinking beer and having a great time. When I walked around the corner from the stairs to the kitchen doorway I felt the air in the room change. Every one of my brothers were staring at their wives like they were going to tackle them. I giggled at their faces even though it totally grossed me out to think of my brothers having sex.

  I glanced over to see Justin had gotten up from his seat. He put his hand to my belly and pushed me back through the doorway and into the living room.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, not sure what was happening.

  “We’re leaving early tonight, as soon as you’re done singing.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because,” he stated firmly.

  “Uh, news flash buddy, but that is not an answer,” I snipped at him.

  “Because it’s taking all my power right now not to drag your ass upstairs and fuck you senseless for the next hour. But I think your parents would probably frown on that and we need to get going. So instead, I’m gonna work like hell to control my fucking hard on all goddamn night long. And when you’re done singing, I’m takin’ your ass home so I can show you what I think about how you look right now.”

  Oh, well, that would be a good enough answer.

  All the breath whooshed out of my lungs as I stared at him. I didn’t know how to respond so I just nodded and tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. My mouth had gone completely dry. I blinked a few times to bring myself back to reality. “Okay,” I whispered.

  Justin glared at me. Damn, even pissed off he was beautiful. I know beautiful was the wrong word to use at the time, but I was so fuzzy from what he just said to me it was all I could think of. I reached up and smoothed my thumb across his eyebrow. The intimate gesture seemed to calm him. His face softened and he leaned in to place a sweet kiss on my lips. That one small kiss made my belly drop to my feet. When I opened my eyes and looked at him, my whole world stopped. It was at that moment I realized I was in love with him. He was everything I’d been dreaming of all these years. He was what I’d been looking for. My dream wasn’t going to Nashville to become a country singer, my dream was to be with him. And coming home took on a whole new meaning. I didn’t need to worry about settling back into the town and finding my place in this new world. As long as he was in my life, I would be settled. I would be where I needed to be. I would be home.

  I opened my mouth to say the words but changed my mind. What if he didn’t feel the same? Maybe he wasn’t to that point yet. I didn’t want to scare him away with my declaration of love. It was too soon. Things were good between us and I didn’t want to ruin them if he didn’t feel the same.

  Justin squinted his eyes at me. “What’s going through that head of yours?”

  “Nothing,” I lied. “We’re gonna be late to meet security if we don’t head out,” I said.

  “That’s not it.”

  “Justin, please. We need to go.”

  He looked at me and then shook his head in defeat. “Jesus, Lil.”

  “What? We really need to get going.”

  “You think for one second that I’m lettin’ you get up on stage in front of all those people not knowing where your head is at, you’re fucking crazy. You are like a damn faucet, running hot and cold all the time. Why can’t you open up to me? I can tell something just crossed through your mind. Something big. And why the hell can’t you share it with me? Instead you shut down, change the subject and try to walk away.”

  He was starting to raise his voice now, which was not good. If he kept going I would just end up mad, and I didn’t want to have to go perform being all pissed off. I’d had to do that for years and it was not easy to do.

  “What do you want me to say, Justin? I have a performance in a few hours. I don’t need to be pouring my heart out to you in my parents’ living room right now. I need to get going. I need to meet with security so my ass doesn’t get trampled tonight. I need you to give me some space instead of picking a fight when there’s nothing wrong with me.”

  “You’re lying. Something’s wrong. I can tell by the way your eyes just went from soft and sweet to cold and hard. If you just tell me what the…..”

  “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!” I shouted. I could hear the chatter coming from the kitchen go silent. I lowered my voice, “I just realized that I’m so totally in love with you, you asshole. And instead of being able to wait and tell you when the time was right, you just ruined the whole fucking moment.”

  I stomped my kick ass boots through the kitchen and out the door. Justin stood frozen in the living room, staring at the spot I just vacated.

  “Sarah, keys,” I snapped.

  Her eyes were huge as she threw them to me. “Ride with one of my brothers. I’ll see you there.”

  Nobody said a word. I got into Sarah’s rental, turned the key and threw it in gear to get out of there. I cranked the radio as high as it could go and just drove.

  Of course my beautiful moment would be ruined. Story of my life. If I didn’t love that man so much I would totally kick his ass. After I drove a while and calmed down, I realized storming out was a pretty immature thing to do. I could have at least given him a chance to say it back. But I was so worried he didn’t feel that way about me, I didn’t want to stand there like an idiot only to have him say ‘thank you’ or ‘oh that’s nice.’ It would’ve killed me.

  “Damn it,” I muttered as I drove into town and realized there were already people milling around everywhere.

  My cell phone rang and I reached over to the passenger side to dig it out of my purse. I figured it was either Justin or Alan telling me to stay put until they got there so I didn’t have to get to the stage on my own. The caller ID said restricted.

  “Hm….that’s strange,” I said as I pushed the green button to answer the call. “Hello?”

  “Listen to me you fucking bitch,” I heard snarled in my ear.

  Colton. Shit.

  “You sing your little songs tonight on stage and meet me behind the movie theater after your set. It’s payback time for all the money you lost me.”

  Damn it. I knew he’d come to find me eventually.

  “Colton, I have security scheduled for tonight, it won’t be possible to get away,” I said.

/>   “Well, you’ll have to just get creative then, won’t you? Because you see, there’s going to be a lot of people tonight you care about in one place. It would sure be tragic news to have your brothers and their sweet little wives get hurt with a crazy gunman on the loose.”

  “You wouldn’t,” I breathed.

  “I would. And after I open fire to take them out, I’m coming after your fucking boyfriend. Only I don’t think I’ll shoot him. I think I’ll torture him a bit first. Maybe let him watch me fuck you. He can listen to you scream my name while I take you from behind. I bet he’d like that.”

  I was going to be sick. He’d completely lost it. “Colton please, don’t do this. Do you want money? I can give you money. I can give you A LOT of money. Just please, don’t hurt my family.”

  “Meet me after the set. We’ll talk about it then. And if you even think of telling anyone, you’re dead. They’re ALL dead. Understand?”

  “How do you know I’m not with them right now?” I asked.

  “I know you’re alone, bitch. I have my ways.”

  He ended the call. I stared down at my phone. My hands were trembling so hard, the phone slid out of my grasp and into my lap. I had no clue how to fix this. Should I tell Justin? My brothers? I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to risk my life, but I didn’t want them getting hurt. And how the hell did he know I was alone? I’d left the farm only ten minutes ago to drive into town.

  I needed a plan. I needed to get my head together and figure out what the hell to do about this. In an attempt to calm myself I closed my eyes, picturing Justin and myself sitting on the front porch of his house. Our children getting off the school bus and running up the lane. Home. I needed to finish this tonight. It needed to be done so I could finally put this nightmare to rest and just be home.