The Wrong Side of Kai

by Estelle Maskame

  “It’s on Harrison.”

  9

  “I’m sure I could find a hacker on Craigslist,” Kai muses in between mouthfuls of his cheeseburger.

  We’re sitting opposite one another in a booth in Delaney’s Diner. We’re just past the outskirts of Westerville, south of the Outerbelt, the interstate that circles Columbus and serves as a border line between the city and suburbia. We biked here, sticking to the sidewalks during daylight hours to avoid the traffic, and now our bikes are locked up to a mailbox outside the diner.

  “Chyna is smart when it comes to computers,” I say, remembering her offer. Chyna’s sort of a tech whizz. Last year when my Mac seized up, she managed to remotely move my entire database over to an external hard drive so that I still had access to all my files. How much harder could it be to do that with an iPhone? Easier, I bet. “She already said she could help.”

  “And who is Chyna?” Kai asks, giving me a blank stare.

  “My best friend.”

  “Do we really want to bring her in to this?”

  “She already knows,” I say sheepishly. Was I not supposed to share Operation Harr-assassinate with my best friend? Chyna always gets to know everything. That’s just how it works.

  Kai rolls his eyes. “Of course she does,” he mumbles as he bites into his burger again. He chews slowly for a few seconds, then swallows. “Okay, we can try your friend first. Then Craigslist. Then the dark web. And if none of that works, then I’m smashing the phone.”

  I nod in agreement and return to the buffalo chicken sandwich I ordered. It tastes even better knowing that we’re paying for this with Harrison’s money. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Why did you transfer to our school?”

  Kai leans back in the booth, sipping his Pepsi. He’s quiet while he studies me, like he knew this question was coming. “Got kicked out of Central.”

  I kind of guessed that. You can’t just up and transfer for no reason. Usually, it’s because you have no choice – like when you’re expelled. “You’re going to have to give me more than that,” I say.

  “Got kicked out of Central for fighting.” When I still stare expectantly across the booth at him, he groans and sets his drink back down. “Okay, fine. I already got suspended once in sophomore year for fighting, so when I was involved in that brawl at the game last weekend, I didn’t stand a chance. Two strikes and you’re out.” He shrugs nonchalantly and tosses a fry into his mouth, but I don’t buy his cool attitude. I see a flicker of regret in his eyes that suggests he cares more than he’s letting on about getting kicked out of school.

  “So why did you get involved in the brawl?”

  “Because I couldn’t resist the opportunity to deck Harrison Boyd,” he says flatly, then abruptly holds up his hand to me. “And I swear to God, if you ask me why . . .”

  I smile. “Why?”

  Kai glares at me, the golden afternoon sun streaming in through the windows and lighting up every fleck of blue in his eyes. “Because Harrison ruined a good thing for me. He took something that was mine.” His mouth is fixed into a frown.

  It’s all very ominous, and my head spins with possibilities. It’s clear Kai still doesn’t want to talk about it, so I don’t push the matter. I return to my sandwich instead, silently forking up a mouthful.

  “Can I ask you something?” Kai says suddenly, and I glance up, mid-chew. I give him a nod. It gives Kai the go-ahead to ask: “Why were you, you know, hooking up with him?”

  I almost choke on my food. I reach for my iced tea, chug a bunch of it, then stare at Kai in mortification. He waits patiently for an answer, despite asking an incredibly personal question. “Because I . . .” I start, but I realize I don’t have an answer that would make sense if said out loud. I was having casual fun with Harrison because a no-strings relationship is the only kind of relationship I can fathom having with a guy. Even just the idea of simply going on a date with a boy makes my palms sweat. I don’t want an emotional connection with anyone, because I don’t want to lose them. I can’t deal with any more loss in my life right now. “Because I wanted to,” I finally admit. It’s a cop-out answer. There’s no way I can even begin to explain my fears to Kai without sounding utterly crazy.

  “But why Harrison?”

  “Why Noah Diaz? Why Blake Nelson? Why Nick Foster?” I shoot back at him. Harrison wasn’t special. He was just like the others. “Because they’re hot, that’s why. Because I thought they didn’t want a relationship either.”

  Confusion crosses Kai’s defined features. “And that’s a good thing?”

  “I don’t believe in relationships.”

  “You don’t believe in relationships?” he repeats, echoing my words with an air of disbelief.

  “Nope, because someone always gets hurt one way or another. You always get your heart broken. You either break up or one of you dies first,” I explain, trying to keep my voice casual as though my opinion on the matter is a totally rational one. I’ve been against the idea of a relationship ever since Mom died. My heart is already too broken. “Nothing about that sounds great to me.” I picture my dad now – pacing the aisles at work, his lifeless eyes staring into nothing, his heart crushed into a million tiny pieces that are lodged in his lungs, making it impossible for him to breathe. I don’t want to be like that, and the only way to ensure that doesn’t happen is to never let anyone get too close to me. Who even wants a soulmate if you know you’re going to be left heartbroken when you lose them?

  “You’re going to have to give me more than that,” Kai says, copying my earlier words. He cocks his head to one side and studies me.

  I try to piece my wave of thoughts into a single coherent statement that sums up my feelings, but it’s incredibly difficult. It may also be the first time I’ve admitted it out loud to anyone other than myself. That’s why my voice sounds distant and far away when I finally say, “I don’t do relationships, because if I let someone in . . . then I lay myself open to the possibility of losing them.”

  Kai lets my words sink in for a minute, mulling them over in his head. His eyes narrow while he thinks, his gaze never breaking away from mine, like he’s trying to see straight into my soul. I’m not sure if anyone could ever understand how I feel, no matter how hard they tried. Eventually, he says, “I’m not really into relationships at the moment either.”

  Silence ensues because the conversation has gotten too awkward and neither of us knows how to navigate it. I’m just glad he doesn’t push me to elaborate any further, because I’m not sure what else I can say. We both return to our food; Kai picking at his fries, me picking at my side salad. Minutes pass where neither of us say a word.

  Suddenly, a pair of manicured hands slaps themselves down on the table. My eyes fly over from Kai to find Madison Romy glowering over us. She glances back and forth between Kai and me for a few seconds, studying Kai suspiciously. “So you’re the new kid who was fighting in my kitchen.” Her gaze shifts to me. “And you made a sex tape in my little brother’s room. What’s going on here? Were you both deliberately trying to create a scene at my party? Trying to embarrass me?”

  “Not everything is about you, Madison.” I brazen it out, not even looking at her, only taking another drink and exchanging a look with Kai. I’m pissed off by her interruption, whereas judging by the shine in Kai’s eyes, he seems to find it amusing.

  Maddie squeezes into the booth next to me, and I blink at her. What is this? A visit from the morality police?

  “Everyone’s been talking about my party,” she says. “More so than usual, and everyone keeps asking when I’ll be throwing another one. Can you guys turn up again and cause some drama? Make it another party worth talking about?”

  “That’s literally the most self-absorbed thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” I say, pressing my hand to my forehead. I can’t believe she’s for real. Is Maddie that desperate to be popular that she’s seeking outcasts to cause a scene at her parties j
ust to get more attention?

  “Will you pay us?” Kai queries, leaning in closer over the table. “What if I make out with her in front of everyone and then we break out into an argument? I’ll even punch a hole in a wall for extra dramatic effect. Lots of cussing.”

  “Kai,” I hiss, and he bats his eyelashes at me.

  Did he seriously just bring up the idea of kissing me? In public? He’s only messing around . . . surely?

  “That would be perfect!” Maddie yelps, nodding enthusiastically.

  “Maddie, it’s not happening,” I snap. I massage my temples, searching for the will to survive this conversation. Maddie Romy is a nightmare even on a good day, so right now, I really can’t cope with her high-pitched squeals and pleas for popularity.

  “My parents are still in Florida until next week, so I’m thinking of throwing another party on Saturday,” she says, talking casually, as though Kai and I are her friends. It’s not that I don’t like her, not really. She’s just one of those girls who floats back and forth between groups of friends. A girl desperate to be liked.

  “Already? Haven’t you filled your annual party quota?” I remark.

  Maddie angles toward me and crosses her arms over her chest. The ends of her blond hair are softly curled, bouncing around every time she moves her head. “I don’t like the way you’re talking to me.”

  “I don’t like the way you’re hoping to use us for your own gain,” I say without missing a beat. I lock my eyes on hers and stare evenly back.

  “Ladies, ladies,” Kai says, his smile charming as he leans even further across the table toward us. I break eye contact with Maddie to glare at him instead.

  “Harrison Boyd is telling everyone that you vandalized his truck,” Maddie blurts. Her smile is smug as though she’s hit me with a devastating, wounding blow.

  “That’s because I did vandalize his truck,” I say coolly. Technically, it was Kai who did the actual vandalizing, but I’m more than happy to take the blame.

  Maddie’s face falls. “Wait. You actually did? Why?”

  “What do you mean why?” I stare at her. As if she doesn’t know. I bet she has that video on her phone – I bet she even posted something nasty about me online.

  “What Vanessa is trying to say,” Kai cuts in, “is that she’s incredibly pissed at Harrison for sending out that video, and now she’s embarking on a journey of revenge to gain some personal fulfillment. I’m sure you understand.”

  Maddie contemplates for a moment. “Maybe I can help.”

  “We don’t need your help,” I say, rolling my eyes. Is this a lucid dream? Why is Madison Romy now offering to help us mess with Harrison?

  “Did you forget that I volunteer in the school office? The school office where everyone’s files are kept?” she says. “More specifically, Harrison’s file.”

  Kai and I look at each other. His expression becomes even more keen. This could potentially be useful and we both know it. So does Maddie.

  “And what exactly do these files entail?” Kai questions.

  Maddie gets up from the booth and dusts off her skirt before giving us an ultimatum: “I’ll only pull his file if you both promise to turn up to my party on Saturday.”

  “Done,” Kai says without hesitation.

  Maddie gives him a beaming smile, then we both stare after her as she walks away, fetching a to-go bag of food from the counter and twirling out the diner door.

  My expression is twisted. “What just happened?”

  “I think we just blew our cover, but may also have recruited a third accomplice,” Kai says, grinning. He leans back in the booth and smolders his eyes at me. “And I think I may have to kiss you on Saturday.”

  I avert my gaze, unable to look him in the eye. I’m fighting the blush that’s rising up my neck and onto my face. The thought of kissing Kai . . . It makes my body tingle, but it’s not as though the thought has never crossed my mind before. I’ve stared at his lips way too much already, because I was drawn to him the moment I looked up after bumping into him at Maddie’s party on Saturday. I knew then that he was undeniably hot, but being around him for the past two days has only heightened the attraction. Even his brazen personality is attractive now that I’m getting to know it, so of course I would kill to feel his lips against mine. But everything between me and Kai so far is unconventional, so gauging how he feels in return is a lot harder than it is with other guys.

  I force myself to look back at him across the booth.

  “You at least better kiss me good,” I manage to joke, trying to play it cool, like kissing Kai is simply mechanical and nothing more. My lips against his. That’s all it is.

  Except the mere thought of it is still making my stomach do somersaults.

  Kai’s smile is gorgeous, and he gives me a teasing wink. “I don’t offer anything less.” But as soon as the words leave his mouth, his expression goes taut and his body stiffens. He stares past me, blinks fast, then abruptly gets to his feet. He pulls out Harrison’s thirty bucks from his pocket and dumps the bills on the table. “Gotta go, Ness,” he says quickly, his voice low. “Call me later.”

  I don’t get a chance to ask him what’s wrong, because he’s already walking away, exiting through the back door of the diner. I watch him as he leaves, utterly perplexed by the speedy getaway. I spot him again through the windows, grabbing his bike and cycling off into the distance.

  “Excuse me?” a voice says gently, pulling my gaze away from the window. I glance up so fast that, at first, the blur of blond hair I see makes me think Maddie has returned. But it’s not her.

  Someone new has decided to drop by my booth this time. A girl around my age is studying me carefully while I analyze her in return. She has delicate skin and poker straight blond hair, and her makeup is flawless as though it’s been professionally applied at Sephora. Over her shoulder, I can see a group of girls settling into a booth over in the corner, all of them looking this way. I don’t recognize any of them, so they definitely don’t go to Westerville North. Which means they recognize me from somewhere other than school, and it’s not hard to figure out where they must have seen me before.

  “Yep, I’m the girl from the video,” I say, hoping to come across all blasé and indifferent. I reach for my napkin and wave it in the air, giving this nosy stranger a sardonic smile. How hard is it to eat my food in peace? “I can autograph this napkin for you.”

  The girl’s perfectly shaped eyebrows pinch together, and she stares at me in silence for a few moments, only intensifying the awkward air between us. She looks perplexed, like she has no idea what I’m talking about, and I realize then that I could be wrong. Maybe she doesn’t know about that video at all. She steps more into my line-of-sight and places a hand on the edge of the table. “Did I just see Kai sitting here with you? Kai Washington?”

  “Uhh. Yeah. He just left,” I say, dropping my eyes to her hand on the table – ugh, her nails are gorgeous too while mine are broken and gross – then glancing back up. I’m curious now. “Do you know him?”

  “Yeah, I know him.” She smirks and looks at the ground. “Are you guys, like, dating?”

  “No. We’re just working together on something . . .” I say. I’m unsure now, growing suspicious. What is this, twenty questions?

  “Okay,” she says, giving me a wide smile that reveals her teeth. “Thanks.”

  Thanks for what? I stare after her as she walks back over to her friends, the same way I stared after Maddie and the same way I stared after Kai, full of confusion and questions.

  10

  Did you steal H’s phone, you stupid little bitch?

  I stare at the message, and laugh. Like, laugh so hard all of my organs hurt.

  I’m sitting on my bed next to Kennedy and Chyna, all of us in fits of giggles at the barrage of abuse being texted my way from Harrison and his buddy Noah. Harrison has called me a thieving piece of trash. Noah is calling me a stupid little bitch. And the best part? They know I’m in control
. They know I’m fighting back. That’s why they’re throwing crass insults my way, but they have absolutely zero effect on me.

  I glance over at Harrison’s phone now. It’s on my dresser, charging, because the battery died as soon as I got home from the diner. Kai is on his way over, and between him, Chyna and me, I’m sure we’ll find a way to hack the phone.

  “You should reply,” Kennedy says, stroking Theo, who’s sprawled across her lap.

  “And say what?”

  “Screw you, dick face,” she suggests, and I swat at her, scolding her use of words. Mouth like a trooper, that one. But I’m no better.

  “Noah’s a jerk,” Chyna says. “Total nice guy when you were interested in him, total douche once you stopped.” She’s sitting at my dressing table in her pajamas and fluffy bunny slippers, carefully styling her hair. She removed her braids this afternoon after having them in for six weeks, and it’s an all-night procedure – she isn’t happy that I’ve dragged her over to my place. I do love the luscious scent of shampoo wafting around my room, though. Along with her hair products and styling tools, she’s also brought her laptop with her. We’ll need it.

  My phone buzzes again. Chyna and Kennedy both watch me as I open up the new message, waiting to hear which of Harrison’s friends have texted me this time, but it’s from Kai. He’s outside my house and doesn’t want to knock on the front door.

  “Kai’s here,” I announce, clambering off my bed, tangled up in my sheets. I nudge Kennedy’s knee. She knows all about Kai and our plans for revenge. “You gotta go. And take your laundry downstairs while you’re at it.”

  “Ugh,” Kennedy groans, reluctantly getting to her feet. She carries Theo in her arms and leaves my room, though I have no doubt she’ll be spying on us all from afar. She’ll want to see Kai with her own eyes, especially because I let it slip how gorgeous he was. I’m trying my hardest to focus on our mission together, but his charm and good looks are impossible to ignore.

  “Oh my God,” Chyna says, panicked. “Mr. Hottie is about to come in here and my hair looks like this!” She throws her head back in exasperation and I throw a pillow at her.