The Wrong Side of Kai

by Estelle Maskame

  KAI WASHINGTON (PARTNER): The secret mission is over, remember? We can be friends now. I’ll even sit at your lunch table.

  ME: Just friends?

  KAI WASHINGTON (PARTNER): Yep, you don’t like the word “friend” to have the word “boy” in front of it.

  ME: We are undefined, then.

  KAI WASHINGTON (PARTNER): I like being undefined with you. Your bedroom is at the front of the house, right?

  ME: Yeah???

  KAI WASHINGTON (PARTNER): Cool. Rocks incoming.

  The next moment, there’s a clatter that makes me jolt upright and causes my heart to skip a beat. I stare frozen at my window as more little stones and gravel are hurled against the glass, then finally snap out of it and scramble out of bed. I press my face to the glass and shield my eyes with my hands as I peer out into the darkness.

  Kai is standing on my front lawn, his bike dumped in the snow next to him, waving up at me.

  I slide open my window and stick my head out into the cold air. “Throwing rocks at my window? This move has been so overdone,” I call down to him, and I hear his laughter echo up through the night and into my room.

  “And so has climbing up the trellis to get to the girl,” he calls back. I even catch the wink that he gives me, then watch in amazement as Kai climbs onto the trellis that runs up the corner of my house.

  It’s covered in prickly shrubs and roses, but Kai carefully works his way up, his movements swift. He slides onto the roof of the porch and stands up, carefully balancing in the wind as he walks over to my window. He crouches down to his knees, holds his head a few inches in front of mine, and smiles. “Hey, Nessie.”

  “You’re insane, Captain Washington!” I say, laughing as I grab his arm and yank him inside. He squeezes through my window and straightens up when he lands inside my room, brushing himself off. “You can’t be here.”

  “But yet here I am,” he says, smirking. He’s wearing jeans and a thick jacket, but also gloves because he’s actually wrapped up warm in this cold weather for once. He pulls off his gloves and shoves them into his pocket. “I didn’t want to break our streak of seeing each other every day. And—” he looks at the silver watch on his wrist “—there was only three hours until the day was over, so I raced over here, sliding all over the sidewalks on my bike, even fell off at one point and may or may not have sprained my ankle, just to see you.”

  My heart swells in my chest, reminding me how I felt last night when I hugged him from behind at the kitchen table. That comfort, that feeling of security . . . these moments. I want to experience these moments forever. I wrap my arms around Kai and rest my head on his chest, his jacket cold against my cheek.

  “I’ve missed you today too,” I tell him, my voice muffled against him. “How is it that we’ve only known each other for a week, yet I already miss you when we aren’t together?”

  “Do you know what that means?”

  I tilt my head back a little and look up at him. “No. What does it mean?”

  The corners of his mouth softly pull up into a smile. He’s looking down at me, his lips only inches from my own, and he delicately rests his thumb on my chin, using his index finger to lift my head a little higher. “It means you might be falling in love with me too,” he whispers.

  “Maybe you’re right,” I breathe, and then I stretch up on my tiptoes and kiss his cool lips.

  The kiss is so fragile, so innocent and pure, the two of us standing completely still with my mouth against his. The silence around us drums in my ears and my heart thumps around in my chest. My eyes are squeezed shut and I place my hand on top of Kai’s, the one he’s holding my chin with, and he kisses me back, his lips capturing mine this time.

  We part for a second, opening our eyes to look at one another. His eyes are sparkling with a warmth in them that I haven’t seen before.

  “Kai . . .” I say, exhaling. I squeeze his hand beneath mine, and he tilts my chin up even higher. We are still so close, neither of us willing to let go. “I’m still not sure that I can do the relationship thing.”

  “But we’re not in a relationship, Vanessa. We’re teammates. Partners. Accomplices,” he says with a smile, looking deep into my eyes, and when I think of it that way, a relationship suddenly doesn’t seem that scary anymore. Kai and I, the perfect team . . . Just like we have been this entire time already. He skims his hand along the curve of my face and weaves his fingers into my hair, then presses his lips to my mouth. I can feel his lips tilt into a grin, one that is full of mischief, just as he murmurs, “Captain Washington and Nessie versus the world.”

  26

  SIX MONTHS LATER

  “Vanessa Murphy,” Principal Stone announces, and I rise from my seat.

  My legs are stiff from being seated for so long, and as I stand, I feel a little unsteady. I follow Bruce Munro along the row and into the center aisle. I’m surrounded by a sea of faces, though most of them aren’t looking my way. Most of my classmates have grown bored by now, some picking at their nails, some resting their head in their hands. I can’t blame them – we’ve been here for over an hour already.

  I walk up to the stage, anxiously climb the steps, and walk straight past Principal Stone as he continues to read out names, his throaty voice echoing around the expo center. I look out over the thousands of empty seats and imagine them tomorrow night when they’ll be full. We don’t need to bother shaking Principal Stone’s hand right now, because this is only our rehearsal. Our real graduation is tomorrow.

  Brittany Nelson is behind me as I step back off the stage at the opposite side, making my way back to my seat. I see Noah Diaz on the edge of the second row as I pass, but he doesn’t notice me because he’s too busy trying to use his phone without being spotted by any of the volunteer teachers that are coordinating the rehearsal. It’s a miracle Noah is even sitting here right now, because everyone knows that he scraped through by the skin of his teeth. A few months ago, Noah was – unsurprisingly – suspended for being caught with weed on him on school property. He lost his prestigious football scholarship, is now attending a community college, and is lucky he’s even being allowed to walk on stage at the ceremony tomorrow. Sucks to be him.

  I follow Bruce Munro back into our own row and sink down into my seat again, relaxing. Unless we’re all forced to repeat the practice run all over again, my part is done. I watch everyone else’s names get called, and the worst part about the alphabetical order of things is that it means Kai will be one of the last people up. I crane my neck and try to search for him, but my class has four hundred students. I can’t see him through everyone else, most likely because he’s in the very back row.

  Madison Romy’s name is called out. I roll my eyes as I spot her popping up from her row across the aisle, hair and makeup already styled as though this were the real graduation ceremony. She keeps her chin up, yet her smile remains perfectly modest as though she’s even rehearsed her expression for tomorrow. I hear her heels clicking against the floor as she walks to the stage and I find myself smiling as I watch her shake Principal Stone’s hand even though she’s not supposed to, because Maddie just has to do everything right. Her upbeat personality is contagious and although we’ll never be best friends, I do think I’ll miss her. She’s going to Stanford, because duh. She used to drop by our table in the cafeteria sometimes, but she would never stay for long, because she had too many other friends to catch up with too. She even tutored Kai in English Lit for a few weeks, and Miss Hillman never did find out that she’d once snuck Kai and me into the office for all the wrong reasons.

  Maddie catches my eye on her way back to her seat. Her smile grows more sincere, then she disappears out of sight again as she finds her seat.

  It’s strange, the way life turns out.

  Noah Diaz, our star quarterback, keeping his head down in shame.

  Madison Romy, the wannabe, heading off to Stanford.

  Chyna’s name is eventually called out and I sit up in my seat, making myself vis
ible so that I can catch her attention as she shyly scuttles down the aisle toward the stage. When she notices me, she pulls a face that shows her nerves – she would happily stay in high school forever if she could – and I blow her a kiss that’s full of reassurance. She catches it and holds it to her heart. She’s studying computer science at Carnegie Mellon over in Pittsburgh, so she’s anxious about moving out-of-state. I keep reminding her that she’s only moving next door. She’s literally only going to be three hours away from Columbus.

  As I watch Chyna cross the stage, I catch sight of Harrison through the crowd. He’s down near the front and has already been called up on stage, and I sigh so audibly that even Bruce and Brittany on either side of me turn to shoot me a look. I can’t help it – Harrison walked down the aisle with such deliberate swagger, jokingly popping his collar and moonwalking across the stage in an effort to get some laughter out of his classmates. After Noah was suspended, Harrison seemed to take over the class-clown act, but I’ve never found him funny. We haven’t talked much since Thanksgiving, except the one time he asked to borrow a pen in Biology. He’s dating Sierra Jennings now and it seems to be serious, so I guess I wish him all the best. I do regret the things I did to him, and I know he feels bad about leaking that video of us, but you can’t erase history. You can’t blur out your mistakes and forget that they ever happened. You just have to learn from them and keep moving forward. Luckily, that’s exactly what Harrison and I have done. I have no idea where he’s going to college, but I do know that he isn’t staying in Ohio.

  When it’s Anthony Vincent’s time to walk, I feel oddly . . . proud. He stopped hanging around with Noah and Harrison not too long after I told him last year to get better friends. I’ve always guessed that he never really liked those guys anyway, and he became a much nicer person to be around when he wasn’t trying to fit in with those jerks. He switched to a different table in the cafeteria and started hanging out with the swim team instead. He isn’t going to college yet, because he’s going backpacking around Europe for a year first, which makes me so, so incredibly jealous.

  “Kai Washington,” Principal Stone says, and my eyes immediately flicker from Anthony to Kai, who gets up and follows behind him.

  My heart pounds a little faster in my chest as my gaze latches onto Kai. He strolls down the aisle, quietly confident, but I see him searching the rows. I know who he’s looking for, and when he finds me, his eyes sparkle and a beaming smile stretches up his entire face.

  Kai never ended up taking up Coach Maverick’s offer to join the football team for the rest of the season – he joined the basketball team instead, and they killed it. His friends are mostly the guys from the team, but he always made time to drop by our table at lunch to say, “Hey, Nessie and Chyna-but-not-like-the-country.” Chyna has a love-hate relationship with him, and I know that deep down she does think he’s slightly funny, though she’ll never admit it. He still bikes everywhere too, and for my birthday in January, he bought me my very own bike so that I could join him. A personalized one that has my name on it. Or rather, my nickname. Explaining to my dad why my new bike was named after the Loch Ness Monster was no easy feat.

  Kai moves smoothly across the stage and salutes Principal Stone as he passes him, and it earns him a chuckle among the Westerville North High Class of 2019. I roll my eyes and press a hand to my face.

  Kai is attending Cleveland State. And as for me? I’m attending Ohio State in the fall, right here in Columbus, because my sister needs me, and my dad needs me, and even Theo the cat needs me to feed him sometimes. It means Chyna is only three hours away, and Kai is only two. Everyone that’s special to me is within perfect reach.

  The rehearsal wraps up forty minutes later. We’re all prepared for tomorrow night – we know the order of the speeches, we know our seats, we know what to do when our names get called out across the hall. It’s when we’re all dismissed that the nerves truly sink in.

  Tomorrow night we really do graduate for real. We’ll leave Westerville North behind and we’ll all head off in different directions, forging our own paths in life.

  The expo center fills with noise as everyone scrambles to their feet, chairs screeching against the floor and voices booming around the hall. Everyone wants to get outside into the morning sunshine, and there’s an excitement among us all because the first of the graduation parties is tonight – not hosted by Maddie, much to her dismay. It’s hard to ruin anyone’s mood this weekend, and I, for one, am in exceptionally high spirits.

  I spill out of expo center and into the heat of the day outside in the parking lot where everyone congregates. I search through the crowd until someone finds me first, because a pair of arms wrap around me from behind. I inhale the musky scent of his cologne and close my eyes, reaching for his hands as Kai buries his face into my neck. A smile spreads across my face.

  The other thing about Kai? We’ve been together for six months. It’s just like having a teammate for life instead of just for a temporary assignment. A relationship didn’t seem so terrifying when I started looking at it from that perspective. We don’t officially have a label on our relationship, but in my head I do call him my boyfriend.

  And it makes me giddy every time the word crosses my mind.

  I turn around in Kai’s arms so that I can face him. He gives me a lazy, cute smile, his arms still wrapped around me and holding me close. We’re still standing in the middle of the crowd while everyone continues to mingle, but no one pays attention to us. My relationship with Kai has been public knowledge for months now.

  “How about,” he says, “you come over to my place and help me pack? I’m still confused on what the weather will be like over there. Plus, my mom misses you.”

  I nod, unable to suppress my grin.

  All Dad’s planning and research finally amounted to something – we are heading off next week on the long-overdue Murphy vacation to Ireland to explore our family’s ancestry. It’s something Mom always talked about doing once Kennedy and I got older, and now we’re finally making that trip in her honor. We’re leaving for an entire month. The best part? Kai is coming with us.

  I helped him search through thrift stores for cheap goods that can be easily flipped on eBay and I helped him mail all the packages, and we made sure all the cash he makes goes to help out his family first. Meanwhile, I picked up a waitressing job solely to earn cash on Kai’s behalf. I quit after a few months because the manager kept yelling at me for having my nails done, but still – the money I made was enough to ensure Kai joined us on our trip.

  “Kai, I have a proposition for you,” I say slowly.

  Kai raises one eyebrow, the one that he once cut the slit into. It has filled in by now. “What’s the proposition, Nessie?”

  “Race you to your house,” I challenge, then plant a soft kiss on his lips before I push him away from me and take off running. I weave my way around my classmates as I sprint out of the crowd, and when I glance back over my shoulder, I see Kai close on my heels.

  Our bikes are where we left them, chained up to the racks outside the expo center. I fumble in the pocket of my jeans for my key as I run so that the moment I reach my bike, I can unlock it and pull it free from the rack. I swing myself onto the seat, but before I can set off, Kai jumps in front of my bike and grabs my handlebars, squeezing my brakes so that I can’t move.

  “I’ll give you a head start. I’ll get the better view,” he murmurs, then leans forward on my handlebars and kisses me before we race all the way across town together under the warm sun, our laughter the only sound I hear.

  Acknowledgments

  First and foremost, thank you to my readers for your endless support, passion and enthusiasm. You keep me going, and I hope you enjoy Vanessa and Kai’s story.

  Huge thank you to the Black & White Publishing team. It’s been so much fun working with you on six books over the past four years. Thank you to Campbell Brown and Ali McBride for your guidance. And to my superstar editors, Emma Hargrav
e and Janne Moller, for working your magic and shaping this book into exactly what I wanted it to be. Thanks to Alice Latchford and Kristen Susienka for your invaluable help.

  Special shout-out to Emma Ferrier for being such an amazing writing buddy. I’m so sorry for all my ramblings, but thank you so much for listening to my ideas.

  Mum and Dad, you’re the most amazing parents I could have asked for. Thank you for supporting me every step of the way, for putting up with my stress during those tough writing times. Thank you to my grandparents, Fenella and George, for being full of warmth and love. And finally, this year wouldn’t have been the same without the arrival of my gorgeous nephew, Anders, who has made life so special. You put a smile on my face each and every day.