A Donut for Your Thoughts

by Coco Simon

  At the podium, Grandpa Coop greeted us as he did everyone, like we were special.

  “Now here’s my favorite pair in town,” said Grandpa Coop. He always chuckled, for some reason, at the sight of us.

  “I know I’m doing something right when my employees show up to work on their day off.”

  Uh-oh.

  Did Grandpa Coop mean work as in place of business, or work as in grab an apron and get cracking?!

  Maybe he thought we were coming in to save the day instead of to hang out like regular customers. What is he actually saying?

  I glanced at Lindsay to see what she thought.

  She looked back at me with confused eyes that said, I don’t know.

  Her eyes angled toward the Donut Dreams counter behind her, which she’d have to turn her head to see.

  From where I was standing, I only had to look straight past her head to see what was going on there.

  Lindsay’s older cousin Lily was behind the Donut Dreams counter, and that was a sight to see.

  Lily was my favorite of Lindsay’s high school cousins. She had such a genuine smile and a beautiful nature that made her really good with kids. When she spoke to them, her voice was like a bottle of honey, warmed in sunshine.

  If the Park View Table hadn’t snatched her up at birth, she would be the town babysitter or something.

  Lily also happens to be the clumsiest waitress as well as the most anxious driver I’ve ever seen. After many broken dishes, she retired from being a server.

  Thankfully, everyone in town knows Lily’s car and can look out for her on the big bad roads of Bellgrove.

  With the Donut Dreams customers, Lily was keeping the conversation moving, all smiles, but as a worker it was clear that she was super overwhelmed. She almost dropped a fresh tray of donuts, but the queen of close calls played it off with her million-dollar smile.

  I gave Lindsay a sorry look.

  She turned to Grandpa Coop and said, “We are here to rescue Donut Dreams if need be.”

  It might not be Mom and Dad’s, but our BFF telepathy wasn’t so bad.

  “Thank you, girls, but it’s not my call,” Grandpa said, glancing at Lily and looking a little relieved. “You know where to find the Donut Dreams powers that be. Why don’t you go back there and see what they have to say about the fate of Donut Dreams this afternoon.”

  Lindsay and I headed to the back to the kitchen, where all the magic happened.

  Nans and Lindsay’s dad were having a friendly disagreement about something. They looked relieved when they saw us.

  “We’re here!” said Lindsay.

  “Do you need help with anything?” I asked.

  “I need someone to tell Nans here that her taste buds are aging faster than she is,” said Mr. Cooper. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mom. This lavender lemon cake donut is my best creation yet!”

  Lindsay’s dad gestured to his newest donut flavor like he was some game show host unveiling the grand prize. The donut sure looked dreamy, with yellow sprinkles and true blue icing, his wife’s favorite color.

  Lindsay and I glanced at each other and smiled. I was pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing, that this would be the perfect donut for her mom’s halo.

  “Not so fast,” said Nans.

  She was a tough critic when it came to the dream status of new donut flavors.

  “The lemon is too loud. I can’t taste the lavender. That’s false advertising!”

  “Well, we have two more judges,” Mr. Cooper said, offering us a donut each.

  He was looking mighty confident.

  “Tell us what you think, girls,” he said.

  Now here was a donut for your thoughts. I must say, when you bite into one of Mr. Cooper’s freshly made cake or yeast donuts of any flavor, it’s hard to be a real critic. The consistency of the lemony cake was perfectly soft and dissolved in my mouth like a dream.

  In a minute flat, Lindsay and I were licking our fingers.

  “Dad, this is amazing,” Lindsay said. “But Nans is right. I don’t know if I’m tasting the lavender.”

  “Neither am I, but I’ve never tasted lavender before!” I said.

  “Same here!” said Lindsay. “Maybe we need one more donut each just to make sure!”

  “Hah! Nice try,” Mr. Cooper said. “But I think I got the answer I needed. Back to the drawing board I go. Have fun with your BFF on your day off, Linds.”

  Funny thing: donut making sounded very similar to art making, after all. Maybe Lindsay had more art in her genes than she realized.

  When we returned to the floor, Lily had the Donut Dreams counter under control. Streams of happy kids and their parents were flowing out of the Park with bags and boxes of pure sweetness.

  Lindsay grabbed our favorite booth by the window, with a lush view of the park. Minutes later, her older cousin Jenna automatically brought us cream sodas, our favorites.

  “Hey, I never got to say how sorry I was for ruining your sketch of Matt,” Lindsay said. “I was way too embarrassed to think about how it must have made you feel. And the way everyone was looking at me like I was the worst person on the planet… I wanted to disappear!”

  “I know the feeling,” I groaned. “Especially when my mom showed up.”

  “Yeah, that must have been pretty mortifying,” Lindsay agreed. She gave me a sympathetic look before taking a sip of her soda. “She was all up in your business.”

  “Who’s the boy, Case?” I imitated in my best Assistant Principal Peters voice.

  We laughed so hard at my impression that tears started to form a bit in my eyes.

  “So what did you do with the portrait?” Lindsay asked. “I hope that it isn’t too ruined. Do you still have it in your sketchbook? Can I see?”

  I quickly finished the last of my soda before I opened my sketchbook. I flipped through it until I came across the sketch. It wasn’t too bad once the OJ dried.

  “It was just going to sit around and become yellow on its own anyway,” I said.

  “You mean, you weren’t going to show it to him?!” Lindsay’s eyes got huge.

  “No way!” I almost shouted. “Why would I do that?”

  “Because it’s amazing!” Lindsay insisted. “If that doesn’t get you more than a one-word response from him, I don’t know what will.”

  Lindsay got me thinking.

  Matt was really turning out to be one of those out-of-sight, out-of-mind friends. I was just starting to put our friendship behind me, and I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to put myself out there again, and risk feeling rejected… all over again.

  Matt also lived far away. Our camp is five hours away from where I live and Matt lives five hours away too…but in a different direction. If he didn’t land a scholarship, then most likely he wouldn’t be at camp next summer and I would never see him again.

  Was it even worth it to reach out one more time?

  What if he didn’t even like the drawing?

  “Let me see something,” Lindsay said.

  Before I knew it she was picking up my phone and carefully positioning it over Matt’s sketch to take a picture.

  “The damage doesn’t show up that much.”

  She handed me the phone.

  The sketch did look pretty legit.

  Funny how I’d started out making sketches from photographs. Now I was making photographs of my sketches, and I had Matt to thank for it all.

  I supposed sending him the picture of him that I’d drawn was the least I could do.

  I thought of that night at the campfire when we promised to create mental pictures from memories. Little did he know that it was not only the campfire burning its way into my mind. His face had snuck its way into the fabric of my thoughts. If it weren’t for his encouragement, I’d still be in my comfort zone, sketching from photographs.

  Now my memory was becoming sharp, like my dad’s old-fashioned razor. If it weren’t for Matt, I would never have had the bravery to star
t sketching from memory, at least not now. In a huge way, Matt played a big part in the artist I am today.

  Maybe some thanks were in order.

  “Atta girl,” Lindsay said, as I went ahead and sent him the picture.

  But it felt different this time.

  The difference was, I sent it to him without hoping for a response. It was like a wordless thank-you for believing in me when I didn’t even believe in myself.

  “So what else are you working on?” Lindsay said, eyeing my sketchbook.

  Now I was actually excited to show her my newest project, “Two of a Kind.”

  It was a sketch I was working on of my parents, a back view of them standing hip to hip at the sink. Dad is washing dishes with his eyes on Mom, grinning like a boy, and Mom is drying dishes and watching him, too, all in her feelings.

  “Ooh, Case, this is so romantic,” Lindsay said. “This is going to make them fall in love with each other all over again!”

  As if my mom and dad needed any help in that department.

  Lindsay and I looked through more of my sketches and ordered some delicious food to eat.

  It felt nice to get back into the groove of our friendship. I could see what Mom had meant about talking things out. It definitely felt good to clear the air, even though it had been hard.

  I could see now that even Lindsay and I were two of a kind.

  Chapter Fourteen Close to Perfect

  Later that night, alone in bed, I was putting the finishing touches on “Two of a Kind.” I was planning on unveiling it to my family the next morning at our Saturday brunch. I had dragonflies in my stomach just thinking about coming out of my artsy closet to my family once and for all, but I was ready.

  My phone buzzed. I guessed it was Lindsay, but no, it was Matt’s name flashing across my screen.

  He definitely had more than one word this time.

  Hey C. Ur sketch was sooo good I didn’t know what 2 say @ 1st. I will never 4get it or u! Thank u!

  By the way my heart was flopping around in my chest, you would have thought Matt had just walked in my bedroom door.

  What was up with me?

  I thought I was close to forgetting this clueless boy, but also the most mature boy I’ve ever known. Now all our memories were rushing back, our nicknames and jokes and life talks over blackening marshmallows. If I’m being totally honest, his more-than-one-word response was way more than I’d expected, but why was I sitting there wishing he’d said… more?

  I guess it was good to know that he’d remember me at least, that he remembered our private joke about our skin deserving its own Crayola color, biracial beige.

  Still, I wanted more of a window into his world.

  Was he writing as much as I was drawing?

  And was school kicking his butt this year or what?

  And did he ever think of me before he fell asleep?

  If only I could get another peek into his notebook, squinting at his chicken scratch, just to get a clue. Too bad he was so far away.

  I stared into my phone for a while, thinking of how to respond. I got up to go visit Gabby’s room for boy advice, but I quickly sat back down instead. It wasn’t like this was a crisis. I had this.

  I belly-flopped back onto my bed and picked up my phone.

  Um… never forget me? Are you going on a secret mission to Mars or something?

  LOL I dunno. Just didn’t want 2 assume.

  Assume what? That I’m your friend and want to know what’s up with you?

  Sorry, Case. Been crazy busy w/ school + Mom’s giving me lots 2 write about. Think of u daily, tho.

  Been thinking of you too and busy with new drawings. Just finished one for my parents.

  They’ll love it. Still can’t get over how much better u got after camp.

  Thanks! Tomorrow morning will be their first time seeing a drawing of mine!

  I love ur parents + I don’t even know them. Can I come + meet them?

  Are you for real? They don’t know you exist!

  LOL! That hurts, ice queen. I told my mom bout u. She loved ur cat meme btw!

  …

  U there?

  Sorry, wasn’t expecting that. Are you serious??

  Yeah we talk bout u all the time. Is that weird?

  Um… yeah! You talk about me but not TO me??

  My bad 4 not telling u sooner. Mom takes my phone 4 no reason! I nvr have time on here. I just got it back 2day after she had it all week!

  …

  Hello?

  Crazy, I thought you were forgetting about me.

  I couldn’t do that if I tried, girl.

  Well I tried.

  LOL. Fo sho. How’d that work out?

  I was feeling all warm and sleepy by the time I put down my phone. For minutes on end, I stared at the ceiling with a silly grin, all those familiar summer feelings coursing through my body like my own blood.

  Matt and I had had such a great conversation. It felt just like the summer had—no pressure and no issues. After weeks of worrying over the state of our friendship, I now felt the opposite, that Matt and I were friends for life.

  Life suddenly got totally cool and super weird.

  Had Matt just invited himself over for a visit? To meet my family?!

  And I couldn’t believe his mom saw my cat meme!

  I was feeling mighty guilty. While Matt and his mom were chatting it up about me, he’s been the elephant in my house.

  What was my problem, anyway?

  Aside from the fact that he was a boy, and a cute boy at that, Matt was hands down the closest friend I’d ever made at sleepaway camp.

  Even worse, when my mom spotted his portrait and asked me about him in front of the field hockey team, I actually called him a nobody.

  A nobody!

  Maybe I was the weird one. Ugh.

  I picked up my phone and texted Lindsay.

  Brilliant BFF for making me send that photo!

  I just got waaaay more than a one-word response and I am not mad at it! Stay tuned for more Casey tea tomorrow! Love ya!

  LOL! Groan. Ur such a tease. Love YOU!

  I couldn’t wait to tell Gabby in the morning that her video-game theory was way off.

  Back at camp, Matt didn’t talk about his mom a whole lot, but I got the impression that they were really close, even though she was super strict and no-nonsense.

  One story he told me stood out in particular. One morning he said something disrespectful to his mom on the drive to school, and she pulled over and made him walk the rest of the way.

  He was ten!

  I couldn’t imagine my mom doing something so hardcore, but with my snotty attitude these days, I’m sure she’s thought about it at least once.

  As for his dad, well, he didn’t make sense to me at all, because he left when Matt was two. Matt didn’t sound sad about it, though; he was very matter-of-fact about it all.

  I picked up the sketch of my parents and studied it, cocking my head to the side like Lindsay’s mom used to do when she came close to finishing a painting.

  I resisted the urge to pick up my pencil once again and mess with it some more. I was learning that in art there were always things that I could change, or wished I could change. But there comes a point when it’s time to let it go.

  And while sharing my portrait of her mom with Lindsay was nerve-racking, even though I might not have shown it, the true test was my parents. I felt kind of jittery inside just thinking about presenting this to them tomorrow at brunch. The more I looked at the picture to spot something wrong with it to fix, the more I realized that I didn’t want to change a single thing.

  In a world where there was no such thing as perfect, this was close enough.

  Chapter Fifteen Matt Meets the Family (Sort Of!)

  Whatever goodness they were cooking up that special Saturday lifted me out of a dream and out of bed and pushed me into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

  I trudged into the hallway, and I could hear my fami
ly downstairs chatting and laughing—Gabby’s laugh drowning out everyone else’s, of course. Just listening to them filled me up with that warm, lucky feeling I had only started feeling lately.

  It was inevitable that Mom would end up working some nerve of mine, but I wanted to hold on to this feeling for as long as I could.

  I tossed some water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. For once I didn’t start fussing with my combination hair. I didn’t care that it hadn’t yet decided if it was going to lie down straight or levitate, or that today it looked sort of blah.

  Today’s mirror showed me so much more than myself. It was my mom’s round eyes staring back at me, hovering over my dad’s nose, the way our nostrils flared when we breathed. When I lifted my chin, I almost had Gabby’s swan neck. Almost.

  Before going downstairs, I scooped up “Two of a Kind” and gave it a final once-over.

  And you know what? The dragonflies in my belly weren’t even there anymore.

  Of course I still hoped everyone would swoon over my newest work, but that mattered less now, for some reason. But it felt more important that I loved the outcome almost as much as I’d loved making it!

  I was also itching to figure out what my next project would be.

  “Casey!” Gabby called from downstairs. “Food’s ready!”

  “Coming!” I called, and galloped downstairs.

  Three pairs of eyes smiled my way when I entered the room. Mom, Dad, and Gabby were patiently sitting in front of untouched plates of shrimp and grits.

  “Morning, fam,” I said, plopping into my chair.

  “What you got there, Case?” Gabby asked, nodding with her chin at my sketch.

  Leave it to her to move this thing right along.

  This is it.

  “Mom, thank you for asking to see my artwork. It meant a lot to me. So I’ve been working on something all week to show you… during my recreational hours, of course, ahem,” I said, giving Mom a totally unnecessary, petty sideswipe that made her laugh with surprise.

  And that, my friends, is what you call the Gabby effect.

  “Shots fired!” Gabby said, looking like a proud mama, giggling at the low-key shade of it all.

  “Well let’s see this A-plus artwork,” Mom responded haughtily, but with a big grin that got us laughing all over again.