“Never touch Sav again.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What?”
“Don’t touch Sav again. Don’t touch any man again. Understand me?”
* * *
Okay, fuck.
He needed to rein it in. He’d done such a good fucking job of keeping his insane possessiveness towards her under control that it was no wonder she was looking at him like he was cuckoo.
He’d look at himself like that too.
Only, now that his possessive side was raging, he was going to have trouble pulling it back in.
Fuck. She can’t handle this side of you. Not yet.
Control. Calm.
“You don’t want me to touch another man?”
“Yep. Look, I know—”
“But I was just trying to stop him from going after you.”
“What?”
“You said that Sav is on parole and can’t get into any trouble. So I was just trying to stop him from going after you. I figured you weren’t just having a chat with those guys, right? How are your knuckles? Do they need ice?”
The way she talked so casually about his ‘chat’ with Curly and Rat both made him sad and happy. Sad, because it showed how used to violence she was. Happy, because it meant that when she heard his full background, she was more likely to understand it.
“My knuckles are fine. I really did just chat with them. Mostly. You were trying to keep Sav out of trouble?”
“Yes.”
The knot in his stomach eased.
“Why do you care if I touch him? I mean, I know he didn’t want me to touch him. That was easy to tell from the way he held himself. But I was doing it to help him.”
Lord, she was sweet. And she’d come so far in a few short weeks that it shocked him. From the girl who would barely look up from her feet, who would jump at a loud noise and didn’t talk to anyone if she didn’t have to, to someone who would literally attach themselves to a friend to stop them doing something foolish.
“I did something wrong?”
“Fuck, baby. No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just acting crazy, all right?”
“Because of your chat with Curly and Rat? They didn’t touch me. Well, other than Curly slapping my ass.”
“Bastard’s lucky I let him keep that hand,” he snarled.
Her eyes widened.
Fuck. He was scaring her. That was the last thing he needed to do. He cleared his throat. “That was a joke.”
She gave him a suspicious look. He tried to appear innocent. It wasn’t easy. Especially not when he was thinking about chasing Curly down and giving him more of a lesson in not touching what belonged to him.
If the bastard tried anything again, he was a dead man.
“That was really good of you, Tabby.”
She blushed. “It was?”
“Yeah, baby. But next time, just let him go, understand? It’s not your job to keep him out of trouble. Sav’s a big guy. He can look after himself.”
“But you tried to keep him safe the other day from that detective.”
“Well, yeah, but I’m his employer and friend.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders slumped and he wondered what he’d said that saddened her.
“What is it?” Reaching out, he tilted up her chin. He realized then that he’d been touching her a lot without asking her first.
Fuck. He’d slapped her ass. He was lucky that he hadn’t terrified her.
Be more careful.
“I thought that maybe he and I were friends. But that’s silly. We’re work colleagues.”
“Sav likes you.” He felt terrible now for making her think differently.
“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.” She tried to give him a tremulous smile.
Oh, fuck, she was killing him here.
“Stop it,” he told her.
“Stop what?”
“Trying to hide when something hurts you. You shouldn’t hide shit from me.”
“I shouldn’t?” Her eyes widened in surprise.
“No. In fact, you should tell me everything. Every little hurt, pain, fear. Give them to me and I’ll make them go away.”
“What? Why? How?”
“You forgot when and where,” he said with amusement.
“Razor Samuels! Wait! How do I not know your real name? Oh shoot, it’s not Razor, is it?”
He burst into laughter. Funny, that’s the last thing he’d felt like doing when he’d carried her through the door of his office, but Tabby had a way of turning things on their head.
“What’s so funny! Are you laughing at me?” A hint of hurt entered her gaze and he immediately sobered. He couldn’t have that. It had taken him a while to realize that she had very tender feelings hidden beneath that hard shell.
“I’m not laughing at you.” He cupped the side of her face. “My real name is Jeremiah.”
“Jeremiah? That’s a lovely name.”
His smile grew. “My mother thought so.”
Her face softened. He ran his thumb over her jawline.
“Razor?” she whispered.
“Yeah, baby?” Leaning in, he nuzzled his nose against hers.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, I was about to kiss you.”
“You were?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Why?”
He stared at her for a moment before grinning. “Because I want to.”
Then he pressed his mouth to hers.
* * *
What the heck was going on?
Razor was kissing her. Kissing her! And it was amazing. Even better than their last kiss. This time, he put his hand around the nape of her neck as he tilted her slightly back. He tugged at her lower lip with his teeth gently. She opened her mouth on a gasp and he slid his tongue inside.
And boy, did that man know how to use his tongue. He kissed her until her head spun. Her entire body lit up. And she clung to his T-shirt, her hands wrapped up in the material.
When he drew back, his face was inches from hers as he breathed heavily.
“W-what was that?” she asked.
“A kiss.”
Well, duh, she knew that.
“Are you going to pull away and go all weird again?” she asked suspiciously.
His eyes widened. “No.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know that I believe you.”
He sighed. “I promise I’m not going to go all weird on you again.”
“Why should I believe you?” she demanded.
“Because I give you my word. I know I’ve acted weird these past few days since you kissed me.”
“Didn’t you like it?” she asked.
“What? No, baby. That’s not why I pulled away. I loved it.”
“Then why did you draw away? Why did you kiss me? And why don’t you want me touching anyone? And why did you pick me up and carry me in here and slap my ass? I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“I like you, Tabby.”
“Well, that’s nice, I like you too, Jeremiah.”
“Razor,” he told her firmly.
“What?”
“Nobody calls me Jeremiah but my mother. Most of the guys here don’t even know my real name. I’d like to keep it that way.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the name Jeremiah.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But it doesn’t inspire quite the same response that Razor does.”
That made sense. “Oh. Right. Okay.”
“When I said I liked you, it wasn’t as a friend. I’m attracted to you. When you kissed me the other day, I wanted to keep going, but I knew I shouldn’t.”
“You did? Wait, why shouldn’t you? If it’s because you’re my boss, that’s just silly. You’re not taking advantage of me, Razor. You’ve never tried to use me for something. Or manipulate me. Or put pressure on me to do something you wanted me to do. Well, okay, sometimes you’r
e kind of bossy. But that’s always when you’re worried about me or want me to be safe. You put me first. And I’ve never had that. But it’s a bit frustrating that you’re so hands-off and careful when it comes to anything else.”
“Oh, it is, is it?”
“You don’t have to be so careful of me. I won’t break.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m like him.”
How could he think that? “Never. I’d never think that.”
“I don’t have a pretty past, Tabby. There are things I did that I’m ashamed of. Decisions I made that hurt other people.”
“Have you ever hit a woman?” she asked.
“No. Never. I’ve never harmed a woman or a child.” He cleared his throat. “You know that I’m a Dom. I belong to a BDSM club, although I haven’t been in a couple of months.”
“And you play with women? Scene with them?”
“What do you know about scenes?” he asked.
“I’ve read some books,” she admitted, feeling her cheeks heat.
“That so?” he murmured. “And how did those books make you feel? Were you interested in anything that happened in them?”
“I couldn’t go to a club and do something with a stranger. I wouldn’t trust them enough.”
“You won’t be going to a club and interacting with a stranger. I forbid it.” He scowled.
She huffed out a breath. “You realize you don’t have the right to forbid me to do anything.”
“I will soon,” he replied ominously.
Oh, the arrogance of this man.
It was enough to send a shiver of delight through her. She didn’t know why. It just did something to her. His confidence. His surety in who he was and what he could give her.
But she couldn’t let him get too carried away. Damn man would think he was always in charge.
“I don’t think so, buddy.” She pointed a finger into his chest. “You won’t ever have the power to forbid me to do something.”
To her surprise, he just grinned.
“Why does that make you smile?”
“You please me, Tabitha.”
“I do? Why?”
“Because you’re so fucking brave. Your courage never ceases to amaze me. Look at you. Look at what you’ve accomplished.”
“I haven’t accomplished that much,” she whispered, shocked at his words.
“No? I know how hard it was for you to look for a job. To start from scratch with no experience. To interact with people you don’t know on a daily basis, some of them rough and difficult to deal with. You’re constantly thrown into scary situations, but you come out swinging. And look at you now, telling me what’s what. I mean, you’re wrong. But you also make me proud.”
Well, sheesh. Was he trying to make her blush?
Mission. Accomplished.
She placed her hands on her hot cheeks, trying to cool them down.
But he gently tugged her hands away. “Don’t hide or be embarrassed. You’re amazing, Tabby-baby. Don’t ever forget that.”
And then he kissed her again. A softer kiss this time. Sweet and far too short. She let out a murmur of protest as he drew away.
“Much as I want to keep going, we’ve got to get some stuff sorted.”
She sighed, giving him a disgruntled look. “I think we should just keep kissing.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, cause then you can’t say stupid stuff like you forbid me to do something.”
He gave her a stern look. “But then you’d just keep getting into trouble.”
She had a feeling that would happen whether he forbade her to do something or not.
“Tabby, it’s important that you understand that nothing happens without your consent. I know I can be bossy. I like to be in charge. But I don’t ever want to be a controlling asshole. If I ever cross that line, you need to tell me.”
“Is this about you being a Dominant?”
“Partly,” he told her. “There are things I’d want in a relationship. Things I also think you need.”
“Do you think I’m a sub?”
“I think so.”
Her cheeks grew warm. “I also read some books that Millie suggested to me. They were about Daddy Doms and Littles.”
Razor gave her a surprised look. “Millie talked to you about that?”
“Yeah. Was that wrong? Should she not have?”
“If Millie wanted to tell you that, then she must trust you,” he reassured her.
“I’d never heard of it, but the way she talked about it, about Spike being her Daddy, well, I . . . maybe it’s silly to want that.”
“It’s not silly at all. Tabby, I’m a Daddy Dom as well.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You are?”
“I am. What did she say that appealed to you? Did you read anything you liked?”
“Just how, well, she said she liked being in Little headspace because it felt like she could let go of everything else for a while. She said it made her feel so loved and safe, like she was wrapped in a giant blanket and surrounded by an army of stuffies keeping her safe.”
“Army of stuffies, huh?”
“I think all the stuffies were dinosaurs, so I’m not sure why she felt so safe.”
“I think if dinosaurs still roamed the earth that Millie would be their queen,” Razor said seriously. Then he winked at her, making her giggle.
“And I guess the fact that Spike cares so much about her. Looks after her. Helps her with things she needs. That could be nice.”
“I think you could use some boundaries and rules.”
“I grew up with lots of rules. It wasn’t fun.”
“No, but those rules were all about other people’s needs, not about your own. Any rules I gave you would be strictly to keep you safe or happy or healthy. I want to see you smile, to hear your laughter, for you to know that someone has your back. Always.”
“And I’d have yours.”
He grinned. “Yep, baby. You’d have mine. You’d be my baby girl and my sexy mama.” He wriggled his eyebrows.
She blushed. “Not so sure about the sexy part.”
“I am.”
“My only experience with sex is with Luther and that was . . . awful.”
“Then we’ll have to replace the bad memories with good ones. But that’s not something you have to worry about right now.
“Jared goes to a BDSM club. I never really paid much attention. But I did overhear him talking to his assistant once. And now, I think maybe he was also his sub.”
“Your cousin is gay?”
“Maybe. Or perhaps he’s bi. I’m not sure. But he called him his good little boy. I also think he spanked him at least once. When Jared was home for dinner, North would normally eat with us. And he’d sometimes be unable to sit still. And they’d share this look.” She sighed. “I didn’t pay a lot of attention. I kept to myself a lot. I didn’t want anyone to really notice me.”
“Did you never talk to someone about what happened?”
“Someone? Like a therapist? No. We don’t talk to strangers in my family. Heck, I probably shouldn’t even be telling you all this.”
He cupped her face between his warm hands. Her whole body sighed. It still amazed her how much his touch could ground her, center her. How much she craved it.
“You can tell me anything. And if you don’t want me to tell anyone, then this is as far as it goes. All right?”
“All right,” she whispered.
“I’m here for you, Tabby-baby. You come first.”
Tears entered her eyes and his eyes widened. He moved his hands down to her shoulders. “Don’t cry.”
“You can’t just command someone not to cry.”
“Why not?” he asked, looking perfectly serious.
“Because that’s just silly. Besides, I’m not crying. I never cry. I’m fine. It’s allergies.” She crossed her fingers.
Her vision blurred, but she noticed him frowning down at her. “Little one, did you j
ust lie to me?”
“It’s not a lie.”
He handed her a tissue from the box on the desk. “I don’t want you to tell me something just to make me feel better.”
“So no white lies?”
“No white lies either.”
“What about if the person telling the white lie also crosses their fingers? Doesn’t that make it okay?”
“It does not,” he said firmly. “No matter how cute that is.”
Darn it.
“Tabby, do you think you’d want to explore being my baby girl? That you could trust me to help you? Guide you?”
“Yes, I want to do that. I want to try.”
“And you’re not just saying that because it’s what I want?” he asked suspiciously.
“I’m really not. I’ve been thinking about it ever since Millie told me she’s a Little. And I couldn’t try with anyone but you. Out of everyone I know, you’re the person I trust the most.”
“That means so much, baby.”
She licked her lips nervously. “I don’t remember everything from that first night we met, but I do remember how wonderful you were. Kind and patient. And sexy.” She grinned. “I’ve gotten to know you over these past few weeks and I think you’re amazing.”
“I’m not that amazing, Tabby-baby. Like I told you, there are things I’ve done that I’m not proud of. Things I should tell you. I should give you the option of walking away.”
“I can’t walk away.”
He rubbed his nose against hers. “Thank fuck, because I wasn’t going to let you.”
She had to smile at that. He was insane.
Razor drew back, staring down at her. “Can’t let you fucking go. Even if I should. Even though it would be safer for you.”
She frowned. “Safer?”
“I tried to distance myself. Told myself it was better for you. And it likely is. Only thing is, I can’t stay away. I fucking need you.”
“I need you too. Razor, the things I feel for you . . . they’re like nothing I’ve felt before. When you drew away from me after I kissed you, I was devastated.”
He grimaced. “I was trying to protect you. Being with me could put you in danger.”
“In danger? You’re not talking about that Mr. X, are you?”
His eyes widened. “Just how much did Millie tell you?”
“Don’t be mad at her,” she said hastily. “It’s my fault.”
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