Black Arts & Bones (Familiar Kitten Mysteries Book 11)

by Sara Bourgeois

“I just hope we didn’t wipe off the killer’s,” I said as he put his arm around me and guided me the couple of feet toward the camper door.

  Just then, it flung open and banged against the wall. An angry-looking man stomped into the RV and glared at Dorian and me.

  “Who are you?” he demanded. “What are you doing in here?”

  “Who are you and what are you doing here?” I shot back without really thinking about it.

  “Tell me who you are, or I’m calling the cops,” the man said, but he made no move to take out his phone.

  “We’re hikers,” Dorian said. “We happened by this campsite, and the RV door was open. We thought we heard someone call for help, so we came in. Sorry.”

  “Well, you guys have terrible timing,” the man said and rubbed his stubbly jowl with his palm. “This is my campground. Burt Hodges is the name. Did you guys do anything in here? Did you steal anything?”

  “Of course not,” I said. “We just got here. There’s no one in here, so we were on our way out.”

  Burt studied me for a moment before taking a look around. “You guys didn’t touch nothin’?”

  “No,” Dorian said. “We really just thought someone was hurt in here. Must have been an animal or something nearby. You know how the forest distorts sounds.”

  Burt grunted at that, and I had my serious doubts he knew anything about the forest at all. He didn’t strike me as the outdoorsy type, and I wondered how he’d come to own a campground. I wasn’t going to ask, though.

  “Like I said, you guys have terrible timing. The cops and the FBI are on their way here. Hope you really didn’t touch anything or your fingerprints might be on a crime scene,” Burt said.

  “We didn’t. I promise,” I lied.

  “Well, get outta here,” Burt said. “Unless you want to hang around and talk to them too.”

  “Thank you,” Dorian said.

  He grabbed my by the hand and pulled me out of the RV. We had to squeeze by Burt. He’d liberally applied Old Spice some time in recent history. I was congested and it still burned my nostrils. Even worse was that my illness and the potent aftershave didn’t cover the lingering smell of stale beer clinging to Burt.

  A violent shiver hit me when we stepped outside. Dorian put his arm around me again and led me to the car.

  “I thought the ibuprofen was supposed to help,” I croaked out.

  At some point, my throat had become raw. It felt like gargling broken glass whenever I talked… or had to swallow.

  I opened the passenger side of the car and plopped down inside. It felt good to sit down. I hadn’t realized how much energy it’d been taking to stand until I was off my feet.

  “You okay?” Dorian asked. “I know I keep asking that, but you sound terrible.”

  “My throat hurts,” I said.

  “Did it hurt before?” Dorian asked.

  “A little, but nothing like this,” I said. “No more talking.”

  “Okay,” Dorian said and shut my door. He walked around the front of the car and got into the driver’s side. “We should go to the store and get you some lozenges.”

  I nodded my head yes.

  “Or, do you think your mom would make you something? Like a tea that would work better that store-bought medicine?”

  “My store,” I muttered out.

  “You’ve got it,” he said.

  Chapter Seven

  I fell asleep on the short drive from the campgrounds to my store. Dorian shook my shoulder gently when we got there.

  “If you give me a list, I can get what you need. I’d hate for you to have to get out and walk around,” he said.

  “I need marshmallow root, licorice root, nettles… You know what, I’ll come in,” I said.

  “Well, let me come around and help you,” he said.

  I was about to tell Dorian I wasn’t feeling well, and that I was perfectly capable of getting out of the car on my own, but he was too fast. He was out and around on my side in a flash. Dorian offered me a hand.

  I took it and he helped me to my feet. I wanted to make a joke about how people would gossip and then waggle my eyebrows, but I decided it wasn’t worth the pain.

  “I can feel the heat coming off of you,” Dorian said as we made our way to the shop’s door. “I no longer think there is any chance at all that this is a cold. We should get you to the doctor.”

  “Let me try the tea first,” I said and winced.

  “Kinsley, you are being unreasonable,” Dorian said. “Completely unreasonable.”

  “Then I must be feeling like my old self,” I said and opened the door to the shop.

  As soon as I stepped inside, I felt a little better. I had no idea why, and it was all probably psychological, but being inside my store made me feel more alert. My throat hurt a bit less when I swallowed too.

  “Kinsley!” Reggie said cheerfully. “What are you doing here? It’s so good to see you.”

  “Stay back,” Dorian warned. “She’s got the plague, and she insists on making some sort of tea instead of going to the doctor. I’ve already been exposed, but you might want to stay back.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t think about how sick I might make you.”

  “Yes, you have,” Dorian reminded. “We went through all of that over an hour ago. I made the choice to spend time with you, and I’ve already been exposed to your plague germs. Don’t fall apart on me now. Just point at the herbs you need, I’ll take them up to the register, and we’ll get you home.”

  “She does look terrible,” Reggie said. “I didn’t see it at first, but, man, Kinsley, are you sure you’re okay?”

  I nodded my head yes and walked over to the shelves lined with baskets of herbs. Dorian offered Reggie a shrug and followed along behind me. I picked out the things I needed and then went back to the car while Dorian checked out.

  “You didn’t need to pay,” I said when he got back in the car.

  “It wasn’t expensive,” he countered.

  “That’s not what I mean,” I said. “Those were already my herbs. It’s my shop.”

  “Oh, right,” He said with a chuckle. “Well, actually buying them and all that makes it easier on Reggie. One less thing she’ll have to rectify during inventory.”

  “Good call,” I said.

  And then I don’t know what happened. The next thing I knew, I woke up to an annoying beep and the smell of antiseptic. I felt a sting in my arm and scratchy sheet on my back and legs.

  The hospital.

  “What?” I asked and tried to sit up too fast.

  “Whoa, take it easy,” Thorn’s voice was calm and soothing.

  I looked around and saw that I was in the hospital, but not a regular room. “I’m in the ER?” I asked. “Where’s Laney?” Panic gripped my stomach, and I almost threw up.

  “She’s okay,” Thorn said and took my hand. He was sitting on a stool next to the bed. “Don’t know if Dorian is ever going to recover, but Laney is just fine. She’s still with your Mom and Dad at the house.”

  “What happened? I was on my way home to make tea,” I said.

  “Well, Dorian thought you died. Like I said, I don’t know if he’s ever going to recover from the fright you gave him. He thought I was going to beat him to a pulp, but I know you,” Thorn said and squeezed my hand. “How long did he try and talk you into going home and resting before you blacked out?”

  “Quite a while,” I said.

  “I figured,” Thorn said. “I heard a rumor that you guys were out snooping around an abandoned RV.”

  “Thorn, I’m sorry…” I started to say, but he cut me off.

  “No, I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me anything that I might feel obligated to tell the FBI. As far as I’m concerned, for now, the two of you were out getting some air in the woods,” Thorn said.

  “So, what really happened to me?” I asked.

  “You had a high fever and severe dehydration,” Thorn said. “The IV is fluids and some antib
iotics.”

  “Antibiotics?” I asked.

  “Yep, the fever and dehydration were thanks to rip-roaring case of strep throat. Normally, they would just give you pills to take at home, but the doctor was worried about how bad your case is. Oh, they also gave you a shot of steroids in your butt. Your throat was swelling shut,” Thorn said.

  “I’ve heard of strep throat,” I said. “I had no idea it was that bad.”

  “It’s usually not,” Thorn said. “But occasionally it gets out of control. Leave it to you to have the worst case the doctor has ever seen.”

  “Well, I mean, if you’re going to do something, might as well give it your all,” I said and laughed. “Hey, my throat doesn’t hurt nearly as much.”

  “That’s the steroids,” Thorn said. “They’re going to send you home with a prescription for ibuprofen too.”

  “I can get ibuprofen at the store,” I said. “Dorian had some.”

  “These are prescription strength. They will keep the pain and inflammation away.”

  “I’m all for that,” I said. “When can I leave? They’re not admitting me, are they?”

  “I don’t think so,” Thorn said. “Though I tried to convince the doctor he should.”

  “Thorn Wilson, you did not,” I scolded.

  “Just overnight for observation. I’ve never seen you get this sick before. I’m worried,” he said.

  “I’m feeling a ton better,” I said and pushed myself up to sitting.

  Thorn helps me adjust the back of the bed so I could still recline a little. “I’m glad,” he said. “You look a lot better than when I got here.”

  “I’m going to choose not to take that as an insult,” I said and pulled my hand away so I could cross my arms over my chest.

  “That’s my girl,” he said. “Are you going to be mad at me if I step into the hall and call Jeremy? I need to fill him in on your condition. I know he’s worried.”

  “Yeah, and I should call my Mom,” I said.

  “I’ll call her too,” he said. “You rest your throat.”

  “Really quick before you go… Where is Dorian?” I asked.

  “He had to leave to go get the dog from the neighbor. He’ll be back as soon as Isaac is off work. That should be any time now,” Thorn said.

  “Thanks. Love you,” I replied.

  “Love you too.”

  He stepped out into the hall to make his calls, and I began trying to figure out how to turn on the television. I was only messing around with it for a moment or two when Dorian came into the room.

  Dorian rushed over to my bed and practically collapsed on top of me. “Oh, gawd, I’m so glad to see you alive.”

  I had to laugh even though he was completely serious. “People are going to talk if anyone comes into the room and sees you half on my bed and practically on top of me,” I said, but I hugged him hard. Also, I was happy because I finally got to make my joke.

  Dorian sat up and narrowed his eyes at me. “Well, I guess you’re going to live,” he said and stuck his tongue out at me.

  “Unfortunately,” I said with a heavy, dramatic sigh. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

  “Oh, gawd, Kinsley. I almost let you die,” he said.

  “No, you didn’t. I was just dehydrated and had a bit of a fever.”

  “A bit of a fever? Woman, they were talking about ice blankets and pumping you full of cold salt water. When I first brought you in, the doctors were talking like you might have septic shock. I thought you were going to die!” Dorian moaned.

  “You mentioned that,” I said and grabbed his hand. “It’s okay, though. It’s just a sore throat and apparently my body decided to be dramatic about it.”

  “I’m so glad you’re okay. You’re taking this so well. I’d be freaking out if I woke up in a hospital,” Dorian said.

  “Well, you’re freaking out for both of us,” I replied.

  “You just scared me.” Dorian’s face relaxed a little. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

  “I won’t,” I swore. “So, I guess I have to stay here until they are done topping off my fluids, but then I get to go home.”

  “They’re not going to keep you for observation? A couple of hours ago, they thought you were dying.”

  “You thought I was dying,” I corrected. “No, I’m not staying. Thorn tried to convince the doctor, but I’m going home later. Not being admitted.”

  “Well, what should we do while we wait?” Dorian asked.

  “I’m not supposed to be talking this much,” I said and felt my throat getting raw again.

  “I’m going to go out there and get you some Sprite and a grape popsicle. I know those nurses keep some behind the counter. When I get back, we’ll do some web sleuthing. Sound like a plan? Then you can point, and I can click.”

  I nodded my head yes.

  Dorian left the room and was back in under five minutes. He had a cup of ice, a can of Sprite, and two grape popsicles. I watched as he pulled the bed table over, poured my drink, and unwrapped one of the popsicles. “The other ones for me,” he said as he handed me the one he’d already opened.

  “You deserve it,” I said.

  “Oh, honey, no. Don’t think you’re getting off the hook that easily. When you’re better, you’re taking me out for dinner and then appletinis. And you are paying. I saved your life,” Dorian said before biting the end of his popsicle.

  I just laughed and nodded my head yes again. He hadn’t actually saved my life, but dinner and appletinis with Dorian sounded good to me.

  Dorian pulled the stool up as close to the bed as he could get it and angled himself so that I could see the screen. He brought up a social media site I wasn’t too familiar with and said, “This is the one all the kids are using now.”

  “I’m not familiar with it,” I admitted.

  “That’s because you’re still using all the old lady sites,” he teased.

  “I’m not that much older than you,” I snarked back.

  “Still…” he said and began typing again. “So, I was thinking about something.”

  “Oh, no,” I said.

  “Hush. I was going to say something in the car, but then you passed out. Anyway, I was thinking about that Burt guy. Isn’t it weird how he paid no attention to Alicia’s missed rent and RV until the morning the authorities were supposed to search it? What was he doing there when he caught us? Because we were trying to figure out who killed her, but I’m sure that’s not what he wanted.”

  “You’re right,” I said. “Do you think he was trying to hide something?”

  “I’ll bet that’s what it was,” Dorian said.

  “So, then we don’t need to go through the girlfriend’s social media? You think it was Burt. Should we focus on him?” I asked.

  “We should still look,” Dorian said. “I don’t have definitive proof it was Burt, so we need to keep all the lines of investigation open.”

  Before I could answer, Thorn came into the room. “I need to go meet with the FBI,” he said. “They are hauling the victim’s RV away, and they want local representation available. I told them I’d send Jeremy, but my contact was insistent that I at least make an appearance.”

  “Did you tell them your wife is in the hospital?” Dorian asked, and Thorn looked taken aback.

  “I did,” Thorn said. “Which is why I am going to call my contact’s boss and tell them we can arrange another time to meet and that Jeremy can be there when they take the RV.”

  “No,” I said. “Don’t do that. I’ve got Dorian here.”

  “I’ll just go make an appearance, and I’ll be right back,” Thorn said.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I insisted. “This is my fault for pushing myself too hard when I should have known better. But that doesn’t matter. I feel so much better. The fluids and steroids must be doing their thing because I barely even feel like I’ve got a cold. My fever’s got to be way down.”

  “If I let myself get
involved, I could get stuck there for a while,” Thorn said.

  “Dorian can take me home,” I replied.

  “Yeah, I can do that. When they discharge her, I’ve got no problem giving her a ride,” Dorian said.

  “Nowhere but home,” Thorn said to Dorian pointedly. “If I find out you dragged her into the woods again, I will arrest you for something.” And then Thorn turned to me. “And I’ll arrest you too. Take care of yourself.”