Swimming Lessons

by Mary Alice Monroe

  The moment was gone as quickly as it came and she knew a profound sense of loss.

  Jason called out for everyone’s attention.

  “Before we break up,” Jason said in the tone of an announcement,” “I thought you’d all want to know what we discovered today in Caretta’s ultrasound.”

  Everyone stilled, riveted by what they were about to learn.

  Jason spread out his palms. “Caretta is a girl!”

  Another round of laughter rang out, peppered with several bursts of, “I told you so!” and “I knew it!” Toy had to admit, the turtle’s longer tail had her fooled. Ethan and Jason bid goodbye to hurry off and escort the lovely Caretta back into the GOT.

  “There’s something else we need to discuss after the party,” Kevin said in a confidential tone to Toy as he walked with her to a party in the conference room to celebrate the grant’s success.

  Flo and Emmi had the lights blazing at their house when Toy arrived. Balloons and banners shouting out CONGRATULATIONS in neon colors filled the front room, and Emmi met her at the door with a glass of champagne.

  Toy stepped in and looked around the front room in a daze, her eyes filling with gratitude. The whole team was here for her and their love was more palpable than the wild colors, the thumping music or the wide grins on their faces. Toy was keenly aware of how much each person in this room had given her and how, because of them, she had traveled far from the day she’d first walked into their lives, a suspicious, broke, pregnant teen.

  There was a crush of hugs and heartfelt congratulations and plenty of jokes and stories about poor Caretta, who would be the topic of the town for weeks to come.

  “The house looks great,” she told Emmi.

  Emmi looked around the front room and smiled. “Flo and I had a blast fixing it up. We painted all the rooms a soft palette and polished the floors. Then we just picked our favorite things, a few of my pieces from Atlanta and a few of Miranda’s antiques. The rest we put in storage. It looks fresher, doesn’t it? Younger?”

  “It really does. The plantation shutters are a nice touch. The h se feels happy.”

  Emmi’s gaze flicked across the room shining with contentment. “We are. We get along fabulously. She loves to cook and I like to dust.”

  Toy chuckled. “Who’d have thought two firebrands like you could live together?”

  Emmi stepped closer and said in a lowered voice, “Listen, I know you’ve been talking to Cara about moving. No, no,” she said when Toy’s eyes widened. “We’re not sticking our noses in your business. We just wanted you to know that if you’re looking for somewhere to move, well,” she shrugged, “we’d love to have you and Lovie move in here.”

  Toy’s breath fled from her, the kindness almost overwhelming her. “Oh, Emmi, that’s so nice of you, but I don’t know…”

  “Just so you know you have an option. Not that Cara’s kicking you out, God knows.”

  “If I did, wouldn’t this be like the turtle team dorm house?”

  Emmi tossed her head back and laughed. “I love that! Sure, why not. We can even get a sign made up.” She laughed again then seeing Toy’s uncertain expression, said, “I’m joking!”

  “Thanks for the invitation, Emmi.” She puffed out a soft plume of air. “I guess the summer is over and I have to start thinking about all that.”

  “Not tonight,” Emmi said, pouring more champagne into her glass. “Tonight is to celebrate. I’m proud of you, sweetie. We all are. No one deserves this break more than you. All you have to think about is how you’re going to spend all that grant money!”

  Flo came up carrying a tray of cold shrimp. “Help yourself, star.” While Toy took a shrimp, Flo asked, “Where’s Ethan? Didn’t he want to come? I seem to recall that he had a lot to do with this grant.”

  Toy twiddled the shrimp on the toothpick. “I didn’t invite him. We…well, we aren’t seeing each other and…”

  “Shoot, he still could’ve stopped by for some champagne. He deserves it.”

  Emmi looked through the white window shutters at Toy’s beach house across the drive. “Did you invite Darryl?”

  She said Darryl’s name like it was an obscenity. Toy shook her head. “I haven’t even told him yet.” She skipped a beat then asked, “But would he have been welcomed if I had?”

  Emmi’s lips tightened and she looked at Flo.

  “It’s your house now,” Flo told her.

  “I wouldn’t have kicked him out…” Emmi said, hedging.

  Toy nodded her head feeling no anger, just a weary sadness that Darryl was still unwelcome by those she loved.

  “Honey,” Emmi said, trying to return to an upbeat mood, “you don’t want to put Darryl in the same room with Brett anyway, especially after a few beers. I just put up my best porcelain!”

  “Speaking of Brett, he’s hovering pretty close to Cara,” Flo said, pointing to the pair across the room. All three women turned heads to see Cara sitting in an armchair with Brett standing by her side like a guard holding a plate of shrimp. “And that’s not all,” Flo said bringing her head in closer. “She’s drinking club soda.”

  Emmi’s lips pursed in thought. “I noticed that! She hasn’t had a drink in weeks.”

  “Try months,” Flo said knowingly. “And look at her, she’s looking a little softer and rounder.” Emmi nodded in agreement. “You know what I think?”

  Toy shook her head. “Oh, no, she’d have told us.”

  Emmi and Flo turned to look at her, both shaking their heads.

  “Cara can be darn secretive if she wants to be,” Emmi said. “When we were eight she had a crush on Tom for weeks before she fessed up.”

  “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of pussyfooting around. I’m going to ask her.”

  Toy and Emmi exchanged shocked glances, then giggled and followed Flo as she marched across the room. Cara’s face lifted and she smiled when she saw the gang approach.

  “Well, what’s this?” she asked when they circled her chair. “An impromptu turtle team meeting?”

  Emmi and Toy looked at Flo. Her blue eyes were shining like two hot torches.

  “Missy, we’ve come to ask you a question.”

  Cara’s expression grew rueful. “Uh-huh,” she said with humor. She glanced up at Brett.

  “Are you…”

  “Hold on,” Brett said firmly.

  Toy held her breath. Brett was easygoing about most things, but when it came to Cara he was a bulldog of resistance.

  Flo shut her mouth tight and her eyes widened with surprise. Emmi shifted her weight nervously.

  Brett looked down at Cara and she nodded.

  “You’ll spoil our surprise,” Brett said to Flo, a half smile forming at his lips. Then lifting his head he gazed at the faces of the three women. “Cara and I have some good news to share. We’re pregnant!”

  At eight-thirty the dishes were washed, the left-over food was stored in the fridge and Lovie was asleep in the guest room. Yet the joy of the day was still thrumming in their veins and no one was quite ready to leave.

  Toy sat alone in a wicker rocker on the back porch. It was too dark to see anything but she could hear the ocean’s rhythmic roar like a white noise in the distance. The hurricane in Florida had veered far northeast to dissipate in the ocean, to everyone’s relief. Yet the storm’s parting gift of wind and rain had pushed away the heavy humidity, leaving the islands lush and fresh. Toy was filled with languor as the off shore breezes soothed the bubbles in her head from so much champagne and good news.

  She couldn’t remember ever having such a day! The grant approval… Cara pregnant…Emmi and Flo settled in this house. How could she hold so much happiness? She wrapped her arms around herself and sighed. All their lives were changing so quickly. What was next?

  Her gaze drifted across the driveway. Her beach house was empty and deserted. That, she thought grimly, was likely her answer. The time had come for her to leave the beach house.

 
Emmi’s invitation fluttered back into her thoughts. It should have been a welcome prospect, yet all Toy could feel was a shudder of dread at the prospect of leaving. She’d told Cara she would start looking for a new place at summer’s end and here it was, late September, and she’d not made a single phone call. The news of Cara’s pregnancy, while joyous, forced Toy to the only decision she could make. Cara would need the extra rental money now more than ever.

  Yet to leave the beach house was to leave the only security she’d ever known. Toy thought of what it would be like not to live in Miss Lovie’s home, surrounded by her things, embraced by all the memories. Was she ready to go?

  “There you are!”

  Cara came out to the porch carrying two mugs of steaming coffee. “It’s decaf,” she said, handing Toy one cup. “And hot. Careful! Milk and one teaspoon of sugar, right?”

  “Perfect, thank you.” She drew the green earthenware mug emblazoned with a turtle close to her nose. “It smells heavenly.”

  “Is this a private party or can I join you?”

  “Sit yourself down, little mama. Please.”

  Cara set her coffee down on the small table and tugged another wicker rocker closer to Toy. She eased herself into the chair and sighed with contentment. “It was a great party, wasn’t it?”

  “I’m overwhelmed. Two parties in one day is too much for a poor country girl like me.”

  “You’ve played that poor country girl card for the last time,” Cara admonished her. “You’re a successful Aquarist about to launch the state’s first sea turtle hospital. You’re a shooting star, if you don’t mind my saying so,”

  Toy snorted and shook her head, but the words fell upon her as soft and welcome as the sweet scented breezes.

  “How much did the grant actually award you?”

  “Three hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”

  Cara stopped rocking and gaped. “That much?”

  She nodded. “Although not all of it goes directly to the turtle hospital. The Aquarium will get a designated amount to support the facility. But we’ll be receiving at least $150,000, more than enough to create a turtle hospital to be proud of.”

  “This was a private grant?”

  “Yes. A private foundation.”

  “Amazing. Toy, you can accomplish so much with that kind of seed money.”

  “I can’t wait to begin. Jason told me I will be the one to map out the facility. It will be an enormous amount of work, but oh, Cara, such happy work. I’ll be able to buy most everything on my wish list. I’m still in shock. I can’t believe I really got it.”

  Cara leaned over to hug Toy, squeezing tight, sharing all the bliss that was in her soul. Toy was small boned and baby faced. She brought out maternal protectiveness in Cara. She closed her eyes and thought this was what it must be like to be a mother and watch your child realize her dreams.

  “There’s more news I haven’t shared yet,” Toy said, pulling away.

  Cara drew back, stabbed by the sudden fear that Toy was going to announce an engagement with Darryl. “What?”

  “The director of the Aquarium told me that with winning this award I’ve been invited to attend the foundation’s next meeting. It’s a turtle consortium, focusing on the plight of the leatherbacks. He wants me to go, all expenses paid. Cara, it’s in Costa Rica.”

  “I love Costa Rica!” Cara exclaimed, giddy with relief. “It’s a fabulous place, a mecca for an environmentalist like you. You’ll have a wonderful time.”

  “But I don’t know if I should go. I’ve so many responsibilities right now. There’s my job, of course. Getting this grant will mean double the work to set up the hospital. And who will take care of all the turtles while I’m away? And of course, there’s Little Lovie. I can’t just up and leave her. Who’ll take care of her?”

  “I will,” Cara answered bluntly. “And as for the turtles, don’t you have volunteers to cover for you?”

  “Yes, but not for the planning of the hospital. There’s so much to consider.”

  “Don’t you dare overthink this. It’s a great opportunity. You’ve got to go.”

  “But Cara,” Toy said, holding herself tight. “I’ve never been on a plane before. I’ve never even left South Carolina, much less the country!”

  “All the more reason. It’s high time. Just grab your passport and go.”

  “See, that’s what I mean. I don’t have a passport. I don’t even know how to get one.”

  “It’s all part of the learning curve,” Cara replied. “Einstein said the only source of knowledge is experience.”

  “And there’s a proverb that says experience is the best school but the tuition is the highest. Based on that, I’ve already been to the ivy league of experience school.”

  Cara sensed there was more to this fear than Toy was sharing with her. “Does your hesitation to go have anything to do with Darryl?”

  “Darryl? No. Why would you think that?”

  She shrugged evasively. “I was just wondering how things were progressing between the two of you. I have to admit, I was worried you were going to announce an engagement.”

  “An engagement?” Toy huffed out a laugh. “I’m not ready to get married to anyone.”

  Cara’s relief was evident. “Thank God. I’m glad to hear it.”

  Toy sighed and stretched her legs out. Cara followed suit. They sat rocking while the pale half moon slowly rose higher over the ocean, shedding her luminous light.

  “How are things going with Ethan?” Cara asked at length. “Will he be helping you set up the new hospital?”

  Toy rocked back and forth then replied, “I think I’ve blown it. I waited too long. We’re barely friends any more.”

  “Really?”

  “It used to be so easy between us at work. He always was surprising me with his kindness.” She wasn’t aware that her face broke into a smile, remembering. “Like when I’d be getting soaked by splashing flippers trying to get a turtle out of the tank. Suddenly he’d be there, hoisting the turtle out. Or when Dr. Tom came to treat the turtles, Ethan would stick around to help or take photographs. And, of course, the way he volunteered to help me write a grant for the sea turtle hospital. He didn’t have to do that.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I liked him.”

  “I did, too. I still do. But he’s not interested in me, not in that way.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  Toy turned and Cara saw a war of emotions in her eyes.

  “Things are going pretty well between Darryl and me,” she said, changing the subject.

  “Hmm.” Cara’s flat tone reflected her enthusiasm.

  “It’s just…I don’t know. It’s different between us. He’s different, or I’m different, but it’s not the same.” She turned up her hands with a slight shrug. “I don’t know why, but little things he does bug me now. Things I didn’t notice before.”

  Cara started rocking, enjoying the direction of the conversation. “Like what?”

  “Like when he puts his beer down on the table without a coaster, or talks with his mouth full.” She looked at Cara and grinned. “Oh, Lord, and the way he laughs. He makes this guttural sound deep in his throat.” She tried to imitate the sound. “It sounds like he’s starting an engine, or coughing up a hair ball.”

  Cara was laughing so hard tears were in her eyes. “You should hear Brett snore. It’s like front row seats at the Indy 500.”

  “Not that Darryl doesn’t have good qualities,” Toy was quick to add. “And he’s trying so hard. He’s always taking us out to eat, or bringing a little gift for Lovie. Did you know he’s teaching her the guitar? She’s really quite good. I would never have known that, if it weren’t for him.”

  “Lovie told me.”

  The mirth fled from her face and she said more somberly, “He’s had a hard time the past five years. He doesn’t have much. Bad luck follows him like a shadow.”

  “Bad luck is what we conveniently call our bad choi
ces.”

  Toy stopped talking to take a sip of coffee.

  Cara judiciously waited.

  “This sounds really bad,” Toy began again, faltering. She set the coffee on the table. “I don’t want to sound conceited, like I’m a brain or anything, but…”

  “He’s as dumb as a brick,” Cara finished for her.

  Toy released a heavy sigh. “Well, he doesn’t think things through, that’s for sure. He’s so impulsive and I’m just the opposite. I have to consider every side before making a decision. I was young and didn’t have much schooling when we were together, so I guess I didn’t notice before that he wasn’t real smart, or I just made excuses. But now when I try to talk to him about my work or what I’m reading, even current issues, not only doesn’t he have any opinion, but half the time he doesn’t know what I’m talking about! The other day I told him I really loved the work of Henry Thoreau, and he asked what movie he was in.”

  Cara couldn’t help herself, she burst out laughing. Secretly, she was overjoyed that Darryl was making a poor showing. Ever since he’d come back into Toy’s life Cara had been living in fear that Toy would call some night, crying that she’d been smacked around again, or worse, Lovie had. Or, that Toy would convince herself she was in love with him again.

  “Okay, so he’s impulsive, reckless and doesn’t think things through. What a prince. He might be on his best behavior now, but are you sure he isn’t after the sweet situation?”

  “He wouldn’t come all this way just to stay in the beach house.”

  “Why not? I wouldn’t put it past him.”

  “Cara, you’re not being fair to him.”

  “How do you know? Can you really trust him?”

  “I don’t know,” she exclaimed honestly. “What am I going to do, Cara?”

  “Honey, just tell him adios. That’s goodbye in Spanish, by the way. You’ll have to start practicing it now for Costa Rica.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Why not? He dumped you before. It’s only fair play.”

  Toy looked off and Cara realized Toy still felt deep pain at the memory.