Emma

by Peggy McKenzie

“Can you hand me that baking dish there?” Sarah pointed to a rectangular cast iron pan on the kitchen table. “We are ready to cut the dough.”

  Emma handed the heavy metal pan to Sarah and watched while the two of them cut the brown sugar and cinnamon confections into rolls and place them side by side into the buttered pan.

  Sarah covered the finished dough with a damp dishcloth and slapped her hands together. “Now, we’ll let them rise. Becca. Why don’t you go up to your room and play with your dolls until supper. I want to talk to Emma.”

  “Okay, Momma.”

  Sarah wiped off her daughter’s face and hands. “Now, scoot, young lady. And don’t wake your brother.”

  Becca giggled and skipped out of the room, her furry friend catching up with her at the kitchen door.

  “Now, let’s sit and have a cup of tea before supper. There’s so much I want to tell you about Angel Creek. And the people…they are the most down-to-earth, kind people you will ever meet.”

  She sat and listened to Sarah talk about the town and its people and how she had come to love this little mountain town in the middle of nowhere. “I know you are feeling homesick now. I felt the same way barely one year ago. I had lost my husband, my home, and I had almost lost my daughter. It nearly broke my heart to leave Charleston, but now I barely think of my life back then.”

  Emma knew Sarah was right because she had heard the same stories from Charity and Julia, but she was afraid she might not be one of the lucky ones.

  Sarah reached over the teacups and gave Emma’s hand an encouraging squeeze. “I can tell by the look on your face that the loss of your home and family is still too new, but some day in the not too distant future, you will meet someone very special who will make you forget about the past.”

  “I guess you’re right. It’s just that I don’t know anyone in town. Some of my friends who came from Charleston were agreeable to becoming a mail-order bride, but quite frankly, I was afraid it…wouldn’t work out.” Emma admitted.

  Sarah nodded in agreement. “I was afraid too, Emma. I had no idea what I was getting in to, and I had a young daughter to think about. Thank goodness the Good Lord had a plan for me…that included a wonderful husband to share my life with. And he has a plan for you too. All you have to do is keep your heart open for possibilities. Who knows? Maybe he’ll send your perfect man right to your front door.”

  Emma laughed. “Well, then I shall just wait and see.”

  Colin sensed an unfamiliar rocking motion before the nausea it created in his stomach pulled him into full consciousness. His gut clenched and he knew he was going to throw up.

  His eyes popped open and the first thing he saw was his brother’s face standing over him. “It’s about time you woke up. I was starting to think you really were dead. Again.” His brother teased.

  Colin forced his eyes to move inside his dry sockets. Every little move they made as they tried to focus on his surroundings felt like tiny grains of sand grinding away at their soft tissue.

  His stomach seized—again—and he tried to hit the piss bucket beside his bed as dry heaves racked his body. But this was nothing he wasn’t used to. Not after all this time at the bottom of a whiskey bottle.

  When his wrenching subsided, he lay back and covered his eyes with his forearm. “Where the hell am I?” He didn’t recognize the sound of his own voice coming from his throat. It was hoarse and dry and raw.

  “You, my brother, are in the lap of luxury at the moment. We are on the last steamship headed west up the great Missouri River.“

  A steamship? Headed…west. Oh, no. That just couldn’t be. “You must be mistaken because I told you I wasn’t going.” He tried to sit up, but the nausea returned, so he lay back down and rolled to his side hugging the pillow.

  “I know what you told me, little brother. But you need my help and there was no way I was going to leave you behind in this condition. Besides, when you threw that punch at me, all bets were off.”

  Colin heard the humor in Quinn’s words, but he was not amused. “Why you son-of-a—”

  “Now, there’s no need to get testy. The deed is done and once you get to Angel Creek and get settled in, you’ll see I was right. Can you sit up? I got you some biscuits at the last port. I would have got you something heartier like bacon or ham and eggs, but I didn’t think your constitution would tolerate that kind of food.”

  Colin’s anger was fueled by his desperation at losing what little control he had over his life. He sat up and flung his arm at the food in his brother’s hand sending it flying across the room. “How dare you ride roughshod over me. I’m not a child you can bully into submission.”

  “Well, you sure fooled me because you are acting like a child. A ridiculously spoiled and selfish child. So eat. Don’t eat. That’s up to you. But you are going to Angel Creek with me. Period. You can go under your own steam with a little dignity or you can go in handcuffs. At this point, it makes no difference to me how you get there. All I care about is that you’re alive and I have another chance to save my little brother. It’s your choice.”

  Colin knew he didn’t stand a chance of escaping his brother’s sight so he didn’t bother to answer although he was fairly certain his brother wouldn’t actually put him in handcuffs. Wouldn’t that be overstepping his authority as a lawman to restrain someone who hadn’t committed a crime? Colin shook his head at that thought. But he had committed a crime so grievous maybe handcuffs were in order.

  Quinn’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. “And if you are stupid enough to throw another punch at me thinking you can escape, be forewarned, I won’t hold back this time.”

  Colin watched his big brother turn to leave and a sudden sharp stab of loneliness punched him in the chest. “Quinn, I—”

  His brother turned around and met his gaze head-on. Colin didn’t have the courage to say what was really on his mind, so he averted his eyes to stare at the wall.

  “Colin, I don’t know what has happened to you to make you feel like you’d be better off dead, but I do understand how hard the war was on…everyone. Soldiers and civilians alike suffered at the hands of each other. But you…we…can get through whatever this is. Let me help you. If not me, then someone else. Please don’t give up on life. At least, not without giving me a chance to understand.”

  Tears stung Colin’s eyes at Quinn’s words. He loved his brother and he wanted to explain everything to him. Make him understand what had gone wrong that horrible day.

  Memories of that day came rushing back from the deep, dark place where he tried to contain them, but without the numbing embrace of whiskey, he didn’t stand a chance.

  He shook his head and turned toward the wall to hide his pain. He wished he could reach out to his brother…to lean on him…to tell him what happened to bring him to this point. But once Quinn learned the truth about that day…about what Colin had done…or not done…his brother would look at him differently. And he didn’t think he could bear to see the disgust and disappointment in his brother’s eyes.

  “Colin. Just talk to me. We can fix this—”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Just…go the hell away and leave me alone. Why can’t you do that?” Colin’s emotions threatened to erupt.

  Silence followed his outburst and then his brother spoke. “Because I love you, Colin. I love you enough to fight for you.” Then he heard the sound of his brother’s boots scraping across the boat’s wooden plank floor and the soft click of the door closing behind him.

  Silence infiltrated the tiny cabin making it impossible to hide from his guilt, especially without the whiskey to numb his pain. He hated the quiet. And he hated to be alone, because alone, he couldn’t control his emotions.

  Tears streamed freely down his gaunt face and he whispered out in agony where only the ghosts that haunted him could hear.

  “I love you too, my brother. I love you too. That’s why we both would have been better off if I’d died with the rest of them, G
od rest their souls.”

  Chapter 4

  Emma finished her lunch and cleaned the kitchen. It was a routine she had fallen into willingly since she had arrived. It had been almost two weeks since she had joined her friends in Angel Creek. And as much as she hated to admit it, she was no closer to finding her purpose in coming here than the first day she arrived.

  Sarah entered the kitchen with her hat and cloak in hand. “Emma, would you mind keeping an eye on Colin this afternoon? I know it’s a lot to ask, but today’s my monthly planning meeting with the ladies. We are planning the children’s Christmas program for the town center’s annual Christmas party. I usually depend on Mary to help with the children, but she’s not feeling well, and I didn’t want to expose Colin to a cold or worse.”

  Emma smiled at the woman who was fast becoming her friend. “Of course, I don’t mind. And please don’t apologize for asking. I’m more than happy to help in any way I can. Your offer to allow me to stay in your home has been a profound blessing and I never want my presence here to be a burden to you.”

  “You could never be a burden, Emma. If anyone can understand what you are going through, I can assure you it is me. And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help around the house. What a blessing you are. Trust me, when I first came to Angel Creek, I knew absolutely nothing about how to cook, or clean, or sew, or anything domestic. Poor Quinn had no idea what he was in for when he married me.”

  “I want to earn my keep especially since you and Mr. Cassidy have been so generous to me. Speaking of your husband, have you had any news as to when he might be expected to return home?” Emma asked out of curiosity.

  “He sent me a letter right after he found his brother and said that he would purchase their steamship tickets in Saint Louis. It takes almost a week to make it up the Missouri River from Saint Louis this time of year. So, I’m hopeful, that is if things went as he expected…he will be home one day this week.”

  Emma caught the hesitation in Sarah’s words. “Do you anticipate a problem for your husband?”

  “Not a problem…exactly. But Quinn did write in his letter that his brother was worse off than his friend had implied. Much worse.” Sarah emphasized her words.

  “I see,” Emma replied as if she understood. The truth be told, she didn’t understand at all. How much worse off could a man be than to be missing and proclaimed dead for over a year? Had he hidden from everyone because he horribly disfigured from his injuries? Or was he in so much physical pain he prayed for his own death? She could only imagine what the poor man must be going through.

  Sarah settled her hat on top of her head and threw her wool cape around her shoulders. “Well, I have to run. The ladies will be wondering where I am. Becca will be home from school at half-past three. Colin is down for his afternoon nap, so you should have a quiet house to yourself for at least another hour or so. I’ll be back around half-past three, but if something should come up before then, you can find me at the church.

  “And then there’s always Willie; although, I dare say he would lick a man to death before he would bite him.” Sarah laughed at the hulking beast lying beside the stove in the kitchen oblivious to the goings-on around him.

  Emma laughed too. “Don’t worry. I can defend myself quite well if need be.” Another quick glance to the snoring giant prompted her to add. “And I’ll protect Willie if the need arises.”

  “Very well. I think that about covers everything. Now, relax and enjoy the respite. Colin will be up in about an hour or so and he will demand your full and undivided attention. A typical male, I suppose.”

  Emma grinned. “Don’t you worry one whit. I’ll be right here to entertain the cute little scamp when he awakes.”

  Sarah hugged her and left the house leaving Emma to finish the kitchen clean up. Fifteen minutes later, she hung the damp dishcloth and her apron over the hook on the wall and made her way to the library.

  Colin would be down for a while and since she had the house to herself, why not follow Sarah’s suggestion and take a break. She could give some more thought as to what her next step was in finding a suitable husband. And, she had been admiring Sarah’s collection of books since the day she arrived. Now would be a great opportunity to explore them further.

  Emma crossed through the great room, across the foyer, and was almost to the library door when suddenly the front door swung open wide and slammed against the back wall. A gaunt, scruffy-looking man stumbled through the doorway and froze the minute he saw her. Emma stared into the stranger’s blue eyes for half a second. And then she screamed.

  Another man entered the house behind the first one. He quickly pushed the first one out of the way and closed the door behind them. Emma felt trapped. She escaped into the library and grabbed the first thing she could lay her hands on…a glass paperweight on the desk.

  The second man followed her into the library. “Miss, don’t be frightened. We—”

  “You come one step closer and I’ll bash your head in with this. I swear it.” Emma watched the man that spoke. He stood just inside the library door, as if weighing whether he wanted to test her sincerity while the other man remained in the foyer. She directed her gaze to the scruffy one and reached for the letter opener on the desk. “And I’ll stab you with this.” She aimed the business end of the opener toward him. The man remained silent, but she caught a hint of amusement on his face.

  Willie loped into the foyer, but Emma was anything but relieved when he stopped to greet the second man with a friendly lick across his face.

  “Willie, sic him. Get him, boy. Tear him to bits.” She encouraged the dog. She was frustrated by the gentle dog’s continued tongue lashing of the man’s face.

  Finally, the man pushed the poor excuse for a guard down off him and rubbed his large head affectionately. “Miss, I do apologize for scaring you nearly to death, but Willie here belongs to my family. Speaking of which, where is my wife?” the man asked.

  Emma lowered the letter opener. “Mr. Cassidy?”

  “Yes, I’m Quinn, Sarah’s husband. This is my brother, Colin. And you are?” He remained in the doorway with his companion waiting for her answer.

  “I’m Emma. Emma Bowen. Your…houseguest…” She offered by way of explanation.

  “Ah, yes. Miss Bowen. It’s nice to make your acquaintance and I do apologize that I…we…frightened you. I assumed Sarah would be home, so I didn’t think to introduce myself. Again, my apologies for scaring you. Where did you say my wife was?” Sarah’s husband removed his coat and hat.

  Emma relaxed and placed her makeshift weapons back on the desk. “It’s quite alright. Sarah went to meet a group of ladies about a Christmas program. She said she’d be home about half-past three.” She shot a glance toward the other man whom Mr. Cassidy introduced as his brother. So this was the brother everyone was worried about.

  She offered him a weak smile, but he turned away refusing to meet her gaze. Well, there was no doubt about it. The man was in a very bad way.

  Chapter 5

  Colin stood in his brother’s foyer and watched the feisty woman with the strong southern accent return her weapons to the desk. He recognized the look of pity on her face and he didn’t appreciate it one bit. He didn’t deserve pity. Especially from the likes of her.

  He watched his brother step back and invite the woman to accompany them into the great room, then his brother began the introductions. “Colin, this is Miss Emma Bowen, the woman I told you about. She left Charleston and moved to Angel Creek very recently to start a new life. Miss Bowen, this is—”

  Colin interrupted and interjected his own introduction. “I’m Colin Cassidy, Quinn’s younger brother…the brother that should have never returned from the dead.” He bowed stiffly to the woman, sarcasm dripping from his lips.

  He watched with morbid satisfaction as the woman struggled with her shock at his words, but she barely missed a beat before she offered him a proper curtsey any southern belle would have been proud
of.

  “Mr. Cassidy, I’m sure you are greatly exaggerating since I know how grateful your brother and sister-in-law were to hear you are alive, but I do understand what it feels like to be blessed with life when others…are not. Regardless of your circumstances or your lack of manners, it’s an honor to make your acquaintance.” The woman’s words fell from her mouth without any sign of deceit.

  He saw the look of censure his brother gave him just before Quinn offered excuses for his rudeness. “My brother isn’t himself at the moment, Miss Bowen. I do apologize for his ungentlemanly behavior. Now, if you will excuse us, I’ll show him to his room and get him settled.”

  “I’ll be happy to fill him a tub of hot water.”

  Colin was getting pretty tired of other people making plans for him. After all, he was a grown man capable of making his own decisions. Whether he chose to make them or not was his business. He would let this pampered little miss know that right up-front. “Miss Bowen, I don’t want you to—”

  Quinn interrupted him. “What my brother is trying to say is that he doesn’t want to trouble you, but he would be ever so grateful to remove the stench of filth before he climbs between the clean sheets my wife has labored over. Isn’t that right, Colin?”

  Colin gave his brother a go-to-hell look. Quinn shoved him toward the stairs and the second floor.

  Just then, a baby with a healthy set of lungs made its presence known. Colin watched his over-bearing brother’s aggravated scowl morph into a wide-mouthed grin. “Ah, my boy is awake. Come on, Colin. You can meet your namesake.”

  “My namesake?” Colin stammered as a baby’s cry grew louder and more incessant.

  “Yes, I named my firstborn after you. It’s gonna be up to you to set a good example for the lad. Now get movin’.”

  Colin moved up the stairs careful to hold on to the railing. In his weakened state, he could stumble and fall which wasn’t a bad idea now that he thought about it. Perhaps he would break his neck and then his brother and his family would be spared the presence of his worthless hide. He hesitated but Quinn was right behind him and gave him a gentle push to keep him moving.