Trying To Live With The Dead (The Veil Diaries Series Book 1)

by B. L. Brunnemer

  “My Mother beat the shit out of me. It’s why I’m here with Rory.” I told him trying to keep my voice matter of fact. “It doesn’t even hurt unless I get hit in the back.” I turned around and looked up at his face. His eyes had changed from self-hating to wanting to rip someone apart.

  “He shoved me into the bar Zeke.” I pointed out trying to keep the topic on him not me. “That look you saw? I was in a lot of pain. You saw it, recognized it and reacted to it.” I shrugged as I was turning around and picking up my sweater feeling entirely too naked in front of him, and it had nothing to do with what I was wearing. I pulled it on and looked back up at him, his eyes still looking to hit something

  “So, you have a dark side Zeke, welcome to the world.” I kept my voice matter of fact. “You’re not the only one with a temper.” He looked like he was finally listening to me. “A guy tried to hurt me once; I got away.” I licked my lips before continuing. “Then I came back with a short crowbar.” The corner of his mouth twitched. I smiled still pleased with myself even a year later. “His jaw was wired shut for a few months.” I gestured around at the world in general. “Everyone has a dark side Zeke; the key is not to let it make you its bitch.” He snorted at me once and gave me that half grin of his. The tightness in my chest finally eased up so I could take a deep breath again. “And I think you do a pretty good job of that.”

  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. His gaze still on my face, I could almost see his gears working.

  “Come here.” He reached out, wrapped his big hand around the back of my neck and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. I took a deep breath of leather and engine grease as he gently wrapped his other arm around my shoulders. He had never hugged me before. I liked it. His fingers massaged my neck gently. “I still want that guy’s name.” He mumbled under his breath. I smiled against his shirt. I was tempted to give it to him.

  Chapter 9

  I overslept the next morning; I only had time to throw on what I wore to the garage last night. Then I had my bag, and I was out the door. And of course, today it’s pouring down rain. I was almost soaked through by the time I reached my class. First period was halfway over when I walked into class. I mouthed a sorry to Mr. Matthews and took my seat as fast as possible. He only gave me the stink eye. After class, I was headed to English when my cell phone vibrated.

  Miles: Are you coming to school today?

  I was texting back that I had overslept when someone whistled at me.

  “Hey red, you wanna come over to my house later?” Some guy called out to me, I hit send on my text and flipped him off without looking at him or even stopping my stride. It was still pouring down, and I had to leave the hallway to get to English. I tucked my phone away and ran for it. I was soaked again by the time I reached class.

  After English, I headed out into the hall and had to cross a courtyard. My hair was soaked by the time I got across. I gave up on being dry as I headed toward my next class. Zeke and Asher spotted me in the hallway then headed my way. I smiled. Knowing I was going to see them between classes always made my morning. Zeke’s eyes ran over my clothes, an eyebrow raised.

  “Weren’t you wearing that last night?” He asked his voice cautious.

  “Ally, are you doing the walk of shame?” Asher teased, his blue eyes sparkling.

  “No.” I chuckled. “I’m doing the walk of ‘oh shit, oh shit, I forgot to turn on my alarm clock.” The guys chuckled. “I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth or do my makeup.” Asher’s eyes ran over my face.

  “You look pretty.” He said through an exaggerated smile.

  “I look like a drowned rat.” I said to him, not buying it for a second.

  “But a pretty drowned rat.” He offered. Zeke and I burst out laughing. Asher smiled normally and swung his bag around so he could reach it. “I can’t help with makeup but I can help with your teeth.” He pulled out a pack of gum and handed it to me. I promptly popped a couple pieces into my mouth.

  “Thank you so much Asher, you are seriously my hero for the day.” I said emphatically. Asher puffed up his chest.

  “Hero for the day, I like it.” He said in a super hero voice. Zeke’s big hand came down on Asher’s shoulder.

  “Come on hero, I’ve got Trig, and you have Gym.” Zeke reminded him; Asher sulked as he walked away. I was still laughing on my way to Algebra, I got soaked through again but this time I cared less. The rest of the day went on like normal, a few girls made insults to which I flipped them off. Otherwise, it was my usual. It was after Chemistry as we were walking towards the cafeteria when Zeke and Asher met us halfway to the cafeteria.

  “Don’t bother heading that way, this whole side is packed.” Asher announced meeting us in the hallway.

  “Why this time?” I asked in my suffering voice.

  “Because of you and Jessica on Friday.” Zeke pointed at me. I cursed.

  “I still need to hit the cafeteria; I didn’t have time to make lunch today.” I grumbled. Isaac swung his bag around and dug into it. He pulled out a sack lunch and handed it to me.

  “I’m not taking your lunch Isaac.” Isaac snorted.

  “That’s second lunch; I can grab something from a vending machine later.” Isaac admitted pulling out another lunch bag. I raised an eyebrow.

  “Second lunch, like a hobbit?” I asked wondering if they would get the reference. All the guys chuckled.

  “Guys eat a lot.” Asher reminded me. I shook my head at the bag in my hand. Yeah, I was finally getting that.

  “Wait, are we just going to ignore the fact she just made a hobbit reference?” Miles asked, raising his hand. He narrowed his eyes at me. “Which is better? Book or movie?”

  “Book.” I answered immediately. Miles looked impressed. I looked over at Isaac. “Thank you Isaac.” He winked at me as we started walking down the hall and away from the cafeteria. Everyone pulled out their bags and started eating as we walked.

  “Yay, I got tuna. I got tuna.” Isaac sang to himself as he opened his first lunch, making me smile.

  “Well, the rumor mill is going crazy from Saturday night.” Ethan announced. I cringed.

  “About how awesome you guys played?” I offered, hoping that was where this was going. Ethan chuckled.

  “Oh no.” Ethan shook his head then pointed at Zeke and me. “That Zeke and you are a thing, and he kicked someone's ass for hitting on you.” He was enjoying this way too much. I groaned. Zeke cursed. Miles and the twins burst out laughing.

  “Didn’t anyone notice me being shoved first?” I asked pleading for Ethan to give me some good news.

  “Amazingly, that didn’t make the rounds.” Ethan admitted.

  “I’m never going to get a date.” I grumbled. Most of the boys burst out laughing. I fought the urge to smack each of them.

  “Dylan hasn’t called yet?” Asher asked before taking a drink of water.

  “Nope.” I playfully glared at him. Asher winced.

  “As much as I love torturing you.” Ethan admitted as he tried to stop laughing. “I know some girls that can spread the truth around, if you want?” I threw my arm around Ethan's waist and squeezed.

  “Please, please, pretty please?” I begged trying to look cute. Ethan chuckled at my antics.

  “Okay, okay, I’ll get on it tonight.” Ethan promised. We turned down an empty hall; this side of campus seemed to be deserted today.

  “I don’t know guys.” Zeke began with a mischievous light in his eye. “Do we really want Lexie dating?” My mouth dropped as the guys hemmed and hawed.

  “Don’t you fucking dare.” I growled at them. The boys burst out laughing again. Ethan wrapped his arm around me.

  “Don’t worry beautiful, I’m on it.” He reassured me before letting go. I shook my head at them.

  “Where are we going tonight for homework?” Isaac asked the group.

  “Jessica’s not going to be home tonight, she’s staying overnight
at a friend's house.” Asher offered. Everyone was debating as we turned a corner. Pain tore through me as Bitch Ghost slammed into me. I stumbled, catching myself against the lockers. I rested my weight against the metal having a hard time staying upright. My chest felt like a red hot metal stake had been driven into it, making it hard to breathe. The ghost rolled over my mind like a black fog, trying to take control. I pushed back. No, this was my body. Fuck off! She poured her memories into my mind trying to drive me out with her pain. My head felt like it was exploding, my chest burned. I pushed back with my own memories throwing them at her as if they were grenades. She backed away enough for me to gain some control over my body again. I couldn’t beat her; she had too much juice. I could only hold her at a stand still. Fear shot through me as I opened my eyes. I was vaguely aware that I was sitting on the cement against the lockers, blood pouring from my nose. Zeke was yelling at me his hands cupping my face, lifting so he could look at me.

  “Lexie! Lexie!” He barked, demanding an answer. “Come on baby, don’t do this to me.” Another hand pushed hair out of my face. My body was completely limp; I only had minor control for now. Someone say hospital. No! Panic ripped through me. I had to tell them what to do, Bitch Ghost pushing down on me already. I only had a few moments of control left.

  “No...hospital...Rory...home…” That was all I could manage before the bitch slammed down on me again and I had to focus on fighting her off. Her darkness crashed down on me and I fought back with light, then my temper finally caught up and the light turned red. During all of this, I was aware of what was going on in the world. But it was very far away, like a dream you can’t recall when you wake up. Zeke pulled my cell phone out of my jacket and handed it off. He was shouting instructions to the others as he pulled me into his arms, lifting me as if I weighed nothing. He held me against his chest as he ran. My body was screaming at me every nerve on fire as Bitch Ghost pushed back again trying to use pain to get me to stop fighting. I gave a little ground, just enough so she’d feel the pain herself. She retreated a bit, letting me swim back to the surface. My entire body was shaking as Zeke slid into the backseat of a car. He kept me in his lap as others were shouting. I heard Rory’s voice. Relief poured through me. Rory! My vision swam, as the bitch hit me with everything at the same time, like a tidal wave crashing down on me. I was drowning. Everything went black.

  I came to gasping. Deep dragging breaths as if I had actually stopped breathing. I couldn’t open my eyes; I didn't understand what was happening. Very hot water rained down on me. Something hard was rubbing down my arms, my legs; something was rubbing on my scalp. I kept hearing my name but I couldn’t move, couldn’t answer, not yet. It took me several moments of breathing before I could grasp what was happening. Someone had me in their arms against their chest, my face was resting on a shirt, and they were standing under the spray from a shower. Hands were rubbing stuff against my skin, into my scalp; it felt like it had been hurting for some time.

  “I’m back.” I rasped too quiet to be heard over the shower, I swallowed then tried again using what energy I had. “I’m back.” I could only manage a whisper. That was it; it was all I could say.

  “She’s awake.” A rich baritone called from behind me. I knew that voice, I couldn’t think through the pain to remember. Different sounds of relief were loud in my ears. I was shaking, freezing. The water felt too hot, but I was craving it. My head was throbbing so much it made my vision fade in and out, my stomach churned.

  “Let me in there.” A few heartbeats later, a hot hand cupped my chin. “Show me your eyes, Lexie.” I knew that voice, that was Rory. I didn’t want to open my eyes; it would hurt. I tried to turn away into whoever had me; they were so warm. “Lexie, now!” Rory shouted hurting my ears; I whimpered turning my head back. I used everything I had left to open my eyes. My vision swam, like looking up through water from the bottom of a pool. My teeth clattered. Rory's face was a big blur. The blur was coming closer. Then bright light, stabbed through my head. I wanted to scream but I could only whimper and cry. When the stabbing light went away, I buried my face against whoever held me, my forehead met warm skin, I smelled leather and engine grease. I knew that smell. Voices were loud and muffled. “No bleed this time.”

  “She’s freezing cold.” A deep gravely voice vibrated through me. Zeke? I whimpered as the sound hurt my ears.

  “Can you stand hotter water?” Everything was so loud. I wanted to cover my ears, but my body wouldn’t listen. All I could do was whimper. There was movement against my forehead and the water got hotter.

  Something warm pressed into my hair. Everything faded away, and I slipped blissfully unconscious.

  I woke up slowly to a dark room. A bone deep ache was everywhere, even the bottom of my feet. Seriously, why did the bottom of my feet hurt? My head ached too much to try to figure it out. I braced myself and sat up, slowly. I was gasping in pain when I finally managed it. There was movement in the dark.

  “I’m turning on a lamp, Lexie.” Rory’s voice came from somewhere in the room. I closed my eyes and saw the light from behind my eyelids. I slowly opened my eyes. A little bit at a time, it took awhile. When my eyes finally adjusted, I found Rory, sitting on the edge of the bed watching me closely. I tried to speak but my throat was dry. Rory reached over to the nightstand and handed me a glass of water. I took it, drinking down half of it. Rory handed me some pills, I didn’t ask I just took them. I hurt too much to care. It took me a couple minutes before I looked around; I was in a queen-sized bed with a blue and green plaid comforter. There was a mahogany dresser with a TV on it.

  “Where?” I asked my voice small. It was how I felt. Like one strong breeze and I’d blow away.

  “You’re in my room; it was the closest to the front door.” Rory kept his voice to a whisper. I was going over my memories trying to remember how I got home. Then I remembered the guys, Zeke’s eyes as he held my face, the others panicked voices in the car.

  “The guys saw everything, didn’t they?” I asked already knowing the answer. Praying he’d tell me differently.

  “Yeah.” Panic gripped me, my stomach knotted. Oh god, they saw it all. I used a shaking hand to push my hair out of the way.

  “Did you tell them?” I asked my voice shaking. Please tell me you didn’t, please tell me you lied your ass off.

  “Just the basics, that you see the dead; that the Sight runs in the family.” Rory answered me. My stomach dropped, my chest aching. “I wanted to leave the details to you.” I closed my eyes, tears pouring down my face. It happened; it really happened. A week, it took one fucking week for them to find out. I pulled my knees to my chest; I rested my forehead on them and covered my head with my arms as I cried. It was over. They knew I was a freak; they were gone. They’d never speak to me again. I started sobbing, my heart breaking. Every fear I had over the last week crashed down on me, making my chest so tight it was hard to breathe. I cared about them, I don’t know how it happened but I did. I cared about them. I sobbed knowing it was over. I was alone, all over again. I was the fucking freak again. I sobbed as my world crashed around me. I was alone again. I’m a freak; I’ll always be alone. Arms wrapped around me and rocked me as I broke apart.

  “Lexie, you're not a freak honey. And you’re not alone” Rory whispered into my hair. I hadn’t even realized I spoke out loud. I shook my head. I didn’t care. It was over.

  “They’re gone.” I gasped as I everything poured out of me. I had nothing left. I didn’t have anymore fight. I was done. My heart was raw and aching pit in my chest. Just let the fucking dead have me, this hurt too much. I can’t take this anymore. I vaguely realized that Rory’s arms were gone, but I didn’t care. I rocked myself back and forth sobbing.

  I heard Rory’s voice, but I was too miserable to listen. Hands touched me, arms wrapped around me. I smelled vanilla and leather.

  “Lexie, stop fucking crying.”

  “Ally, you need to calm down.” My head shot up, my heart stopp
ed. Asher and Zeke were there.

  “W-w-what?” I stammered, not understanding what I was seeing. “You're....here...” Asher reached out and brushed the hair from my face, while Zeke wiped the tears off my cheek. Zeke looked pissed off and Asher’s face was pale and drawn. I didn’t understand. They were here? The tightness in my chest eased, I could breathe a little easier. Tears were running down my face as I stared at them uncomprehending. I was still crying, but I had stopped sobbing.

  “Okay, boys back outside.” Rory ordered. The guys looked like they wanted to argue but they obeyed. Rory shut the door behind them. He came back and sat in front of me again. I was still staring after the boys. They were still here? What? I looked to Rory not understanding.

  “They were all here as long as they could be.” Rory said gently.

  “All of them?” I couldn’t wrap my head around it. All of them had been here? They had stayed? Rory nodded then proceeded to talk slowly and clearly.

  “Those boys carried you home bloody, unconscious and turning blue.” Rory's haunted eyes met mine again. “Then they refused to leave you.” Rory reached over, pulled out some tissues, and handed them to me. I sat there numb. “The others would still be here but Mile’s and Isaac’s parents called them home, Ethan had band practice.” Rory reached out and brushed more of my hair away from my face. “They only felt like they could leave because Asher and Zeke were here.”

  “They all stayed?” I asked my voice shaky, thin. I saw them; I knew they were outside the bedroom door. It was just so hard to believe. No one ever stayed. Rory held my chin in his fingers and looked into my eyes.

  “Those boys saved your life.” He told me clearly. “I wasn’t going to make it to you in time; I had to give them instructions on the phone, Lexie.” I blinked at him, my mind starting to work again. Slowly, but it was working.

  “The salt? The shower?” I asked needing confirmation. Rory nodded.