BLIND: A Mastermind Novel

by Lydia Michaels

  “Scarlet…” His gravelly voice ripped through her, countless memories of pleasure assaulting her senses. How many times she’d craved the sound of her name from his lips.

  He looked terrible, clearly not expecting company. His hair was a mess and his jaw needed a shave. He looked so ordinary in jeans and t-shirt, yet he still looked beautiful.

  He bolted to his feet and took an urgent step forward, as if intending to grab her in his arms. She flung out a steady hand and he halted. His eyes clouded with regret, but he didn’t take another step. Slowly, she lowered her arm and drew in a shaky breath.

  Her lips pressed tight as her throat contracted, fighting back a sob. “You hurt me.” She hadn’t thought about what she might say. The words simply fell out.

  His gaze softened as his head lowered. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  Her head shook at the unnecessary pain. “Did you do it because of what happened in high school?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “The truth, Asher.” It was so strange calling him something other than Mr. Stone.

  Throwing a hand through his hair, he dropped into the chair.“I didn’t know what I was doing. At first, yes, it crossed my mind, but then I actually got to know you and realized high school wasn’t a picnic for you either. I thought…” His hand brushed over his head again. “I thought I could help you, thought we could maybe help each other. If I could get you to see the good in me maybe I could see it in myself.”

  She did see the good in him. “Then why did you end things?”

  He looked away. “Because you loved someone else.”

  “I loved you.”

  “You loved Mr. Stone.”

  “Yes.”

  He seemed to want to say more but hesitated. “I don’t want to be someone else. I couldn’t bare the thought of disappointment flashing in your eyes the first time you saw me. I’ve seen it before, Scarlet. It hurts.”

  “You never gave me a chance.”

  He held out his hands.“This is me.”Shaking his head, he said,“All I see in your eyes is hurt and anger. I put that there.”Glancing to the far wall, he rasped,“I never meant to hurt you.”

  He’d first been attracted to the idea of her, some girl she couldn’t recognize as herself. What difference did it make if Mr. Stone was who first attracted her? At the end of the day it was this man sitting in front of her that she loved. “And this is me.Who do you love, Asher? Because I’m not perfect and I’m not some teenager. I’m just me. Do you see me?”

  His head turned and he met her gaze, truly looked into her eyes, and the effect was potent. He was beautiful.

  “I love you, Scarlet. I’ve always loved you on some level, but my feelings then were nothing compared to what they are now. I know you’re not perfect. Being so only makes me love you more.”

  She drew in a slow, jagged breath. “And when you touched me, did you mean it? I didn’t fall in love with a name. I fell in love with a man who made me quiver with only a caress, or a command. I fell in love with the man who managed to make me feel alive, the man who cherished me, and missed me when I was gone. I could live without ever saying the name Mr. Stone again, but I don’t know if I can live without the man who made me feel all those things.”

  His face pinched with tension. “I meant every single moment.”

  “And the things you said?” She held her breath, still unable to believe someone could see all those wonderful things in her.

  “I meant every word. But Scarlet, I also meant the things I said on our last night.” His hand pressed to his chest. “I never wanted to need something the way I need you. This pain…I never expected it. I have no idea how to handle the constant worry that you’re all right or the unending desire to simply be by you. I just wanted to protect you, and the truth is I never could.”

  “I never asked for protection.”

  “But it’s what a hero’s supposed to do, Scarlet. A good man protects the woman he loves.”

  “And he let’s his woman do the same. You never even gave me the chance to show you how much I cared, to prove how much I worried about your wellbeing too.”

  “I was going to, but then…” His eyes closed as if seeing a painful memory. “I saw you at the café.”

  “What?”

  “Westerman was there. I wanted to kill him after the things you told me, but I couldn’t move. I’m a coward.”

  “You saw me?”

  “Yes, and while I was trying to figure out how to punish him for hurting you, you smiled and acted like you were old friends. Why?”

  She swallowed. “Because he scares me too, Asher. I didn’t want a confrontation. I just wanted my coffee. Life’s too short to try to fix the assholes of the world.”

  His hand slid directly over his heart. “I thought you gave him your number. I didn’t think you would, but then you wrote something down—”

  “I was signing my receipt.”

  “I know that now. I was an idiot, but… imagining you choosing someone else—him—broke my heart.”

  “I chose you.”

  “Try to understand the life I led, Scarlet. No one ever chose me.”

  Her vision blurred as she spoke the truth. “Me either.”

  His mouth was bracketed with lines of stress. “I chose you. Everything I said came from my heart. At first I wanted to do this so I could prove something to myself, but then I just wanted to see you happy. When I saw you that morning, saw how confidently you handled a situation that left me paralyzed, I realized I gave you some of that confidence.”

  “You did. You gave me so much.”

  “But I didn’t know how much I had left to offer. I figured cutting ties was the most selfless thing I could do for you, so you could find someone who could be all the things you wanted. I didn’t see it as selfish until I realized how much I misread the situation. Then I tried to call you but it was too late.”

  She’d thought it was too late too. Maybe it was. “Do you still feel that way?”

  “I know I love you enough to step aside if that’s what you want. I never wanted to hurt you and if the mere sight of me causes you pain, I’ll somehow deal with the mess I made and let you go. These last few weeks I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to do that so you could move on. But despite all the things I know, I don’t know how to live without you.”

  Her vision blurred as his words seeped into her broken soul. “Then don’t.”

  His head lifted, hope hidden in his eyes as his chest expanded with each breath. “Do you mean that?”

  “Asher, if you want me, then fight for me. Do you think I have the slightest clue what I’m doing? Your world is huge compared to mine. I haven’t been in a relationship in years. Most nights I’m sitting on my couch, talking to my cat, watching corny sci-fi movies.”

  His lips parted as though this shocked him. What did he think? He’d read her letter. She told the world how bleak her life was, how lonely, and hollow. “Stop imagining some cheerleader from grade school and start looking at the woman in front of you. I’ve never hidden myself from you.”

  “You like science fiction?”

  She frowned. “What?” Was he even listening?

  “It’s important, Scarlet. Are you making fun of people who enjoy sci-fi or is it something you honestly enjoy?”

  Unbelievable. Shaking her head, she waved her hand and let it drop. “I don’t see how it has anything to do with what we’re discussing, but yes, I actually enjoy them. As a matter of fact, if there was a flight to The Shire, I’d get a one-way ticket and be gone.”

  He was silent. She rolled her eyes. Once again, she bared her soul and he just sat there. “I have to go. When you figure out what you want… I don’t know.” She turned and walked away.

  At the front door, she blinked back tears as she slid her feet into her shoes. All the words in the world couldn’t push him into action. She’d met him halfway and he left her hanging. If he wanted it fixed he’d have to make a—
>
  Her body was abruptly grabbed and her back flung into the door. His mouth crashed over hers as he swallowed her surprised gasp. His lips pressed hard as his hands dragged up her body and through her hair, a thousand volts of electricity shooting up her spine.

  “What are you doing?” she gasped. His hand glided up her thigh and hooked her leg over his hip as he ground his body into hers.

  “I’m fighting for you. Don’t go. I won’t let you turn your back on this. On us.” His mouth dragged down her throat as her eyes rolled back in ecstasy, so many needs rushing at her at once. “I’ll fight every day for the rest of my life if I have to. I don’t ever want to let you go, Scarlet.I can’t.”

  Her chest tightened as more tears filled her eyes. She gripped his face and kissed him with every ounce of passion she possessed. His scent filled her, familiar and rich. “You can’t shut me out.”

  “I won’t.” He closed his mouth over hers as warmth bloomed in her chest, chasing out the cold. “I’ll never shut you out again. I promise. It was the worst mistake of my life. No more secrets.”

  No more secrets. Had there ever been more beautiful words. “What’s your middle name?”

  “Michael.”

  Her hand tugged at his clothes, needing to touch his skin. His lips dragged over her flesh as their breath mingled and her need transcended into a form of madness. She’d never wanted someone so much in her life.

  “Whatever you want to know, I’ll tell you.”

  She panted as he grazed her breast, nibbled her ear, so many erogenous zones and her panties were already soaked. “Asher…”

  He stilled and slowly met her gaze. Her mouth quirked shyly, as his deep blue eyes studied her through his glasses. She bit her lip, wondering why he’d stopped.

  “Say it again. Say my name again.”

  “Asher.”

  His cheeks flushed as his hand slowly slid into hers, their fingers lacing as his other hand glided over her shoulder to the back of her neck. “I’ve fantasized of this far too long,” he confessed as his mouth descended. She drew in a deep breath as he kissed her slowly, the passion building until her entire being trembled for more.

  Her arms drifted to his shoulders, palms sliding over his thick shoulders and into his soft hair. His hips pressed to hers and she felt his desire full and heavy against her belly.

  “Asher…” she couldn’t stop saying his name, savored the knowledge that she could finally do so. His mouth was madness, coaxing her body open like a flower under his touch. It was the most passionate kiss of her life. “I want you.”

  His fingers pulled at her hair, mussing it as he ground his front into her. “We should wait,” he whispered as his hands gripped her ass.

  “Are you crazy? I’m pretty sure we’ve both waited long enough.”

  He pulled back and stared at her, eyes blinking through the lenses of his designer glasses. “True.”

  She gasped as he suddenly lifted her in his arms like a knight rescuing his princess and carried her back through the grand entryway to the ballroom. Even now he made her feel like she was in a fairytale.

  They reached the enormous bed in the corner of the empty room and he carefully lowered her. She’d been there before, with him. What an indescribable relief it all was to be there again, only this time was better because she could look in his eyes.

  He leaned over her and stilled.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  His mouth curved slightly. “I love you, Scarlet.”

  “I love you too, Asher Michael Roan. I loved you before I even set eyes on you.”

  His lips pressed to hers as he crawled onto the bed, his fingers slowly unfastening the buttons of her blouse. Her palms glided over his strong arms and back, cherishing that ability to finally touch him freely.

  His eyes closed as he confessed, “I’ve died a thousand deaths waiting to feel your hands on me, your gaze on me. But I never imagined this.”

  “Me neither. You don’t need to be afraid of me, Asher. I’d never hurt you.” She quickly tugged at his shirt, wanting all barriers away. “Take this off. Hurry.”

  He eased back and swiftly stripped the shirt away. His mouth crashed to hers as his fingers slid beneath the strap of her bra and yanked it down. “Do you have any idea how many fantasies I’ve had about this moment?”

  A euphoric trance slipped over her. People didn’t fantasize about her. She wasn’t exotic enough to build a fantasy around. “Really?”

  “God, yes,” he confessed, his mouth kissing down her chest as his hands plumped her breast. “I nearly died, every time you let me see or touch you.”

  He’d always made her feel so good during those moments. “Asher?” She arched into him as his hot mouth closed over the sharp tip of her nipple.

  “Mmm?”

  “How did you get so good at…pleasuring a woman?” She’d always assumed he’d had countless lovers. How else could he have known everything he knew about the female body, like all the things he’d taught her when they’d visited the hotel?

  His attention at her breasts paused as he rose above her. “I learned everything I know for you. I read, I studied, I interviewed people from all lifestyles, and I watched you carefully to determine what aroused you the most.” His fingers traced her brow. “It’s your mind, Lettie. As much as I love your body, there’s nothing more erotic to me than your mind.”

  And oh, how he could seduce her mind. “I wish…” her words fell away. She didn’t want to spoil their reconciliation.

  “Tell me.”

  Licking her lips, she confessed, “I wish we could take back all the lost time.”

  His head shook slowly. “I wasn’t ready. It took me a long time to admit there was something missing and do something about it, but all the changes I made didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how I dressed or what I wore. I needed a woman that could really see me. I needed you, Scarlet.”

  “But I was blind.”

  “No, you saw the parts of me no one else could.”

  “I see you now, Asher Roan. And I never saw anyone so beautiful.”

  He smiled. “Should I find you a mirror?”

  She laughed, but then turned serious. “I mean it. You’re a beautiful human being, not just on the outside, but on the inside where it counts.”

  His face lowered, hiding a sweet smile. Quietly, he whispered, “You don’t know how much that means to me, Scarlet.”

  “It’s true.”

  He smirked again. “I’m so glad, because…this morning my company went bankrupt. I no longer have a penny to my name.”

  Her lips parted. “Oh, my God. Are you okay?” She shook her head. Of course he wasn’t okay. “What can I do to help? Do you need anything? I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “I just wanted to let you know before we went any further.If that changes your mind I’ll understand.”

  Here she was, dumping all this other stuff on him when he’d lost his company just that morning. “Do you want to stop?”

  “Do you?”

  She didn’t want to be selfish, but she would understand if his mind was on more important matters. “I don’t want to, but we can if you’d rather talk—Oh!” She gasped as he rolled to his back pulling her with him, his lips smiling against hers as he kissed her.

  “Why are you laughing?”

  He drew back and grinned. “I’m just playing with you. My companies are fine. But it’s great to know that doesn’t make a difference to you.”

  Her mouth gaped and she pushed him. “You jerk! I felt terrible!”

  He laughed and rolled her to her back, kissing her again. “Which tells me how genuine you truly are, but I already knew that. Don’t be mad. I like teasing you.”

  Pursing her lips, she pouted. “Jerk.”

  He nuzzled her ear as shivers tightened her nipples. “Forgive me?” he whispered.

  “No. That was mean.”

  He bit her shoulder. “Please.”

  She sighed, knowing s
he’d of course forgive him and actually liking this teasing side of him. “Fine. I’ll forgive you…for a price.”

  He chuckled. “Okay. What will it be? A trip to the spa? A new necklace?”

  “No way. I want your shirt.”

  He frowned. “My shirt?”

  She nodded, glancing to the corner of the bed where it lay in a wrinkled mess. “Yup.”

  He blinked, his eyes a bit forlorn. “But that’s an authentic 1989 Brainy Smurf classic.”

  “I’m aware. I tried bidding for one on eBay last year and got outbid somewhere around a hundred bucks.”

  He did a double take. “I got it on eBay.”

  “When?” There was no way they’d been bidding in the same auction.

  “Maybe last June. I forget.”

  Her eyes went wide. “Oh, my God! Are you TheRealMcFly99?”

  He drew back. “Yes!”

  They both laughed. What a small world. “Oh, I’m definitely getting your shirt now! You outbid me!”

  His gaze turned intense, lust darkening his eyes. “Would you really have paid a hundred dollars for a Brainy Smurf shirt?”

  “Of course! Do you know how rare he is? It’s not like a Papa or Smurfette. They’re everywhere.”

  He gripped her arms. “I seriously need to make love to you. Right. Now.”

  Her giggle was silenced by a very serious kiss and she moaned.

  His hands curved around her breasts, plumping and massaging as his mouth descended. Her thighs parted as he pulled her pants away. After so much patience it was impossible to passively lie there. She unlatched his belt and tugged it free of his jeans, tossing it carelessly to the floor.

  Twisting the button loose, she unzipped his pants and reached for him, not stopping until her fingers wrapped around thick heat. “I’ve got you now,” she teased and he groaned, his head resting on her shoulder, his breath beating against her flesh in a rush, as her fist slowly pumped over his impressive length.

  “I’m afraid I have a confession, Scarlet.”

  She stilled. “What?”

  “There haven’t been many women. I’m not a virgin, but…”

  She frowned and released him. “Asher… Please look at me.”