Room on the Porch Swing

by Amy Clipston

  An image of Laura holding hands with Rudy after church flashed through Allen’s mind, followed by a vision of Rudy glaring at him yesterday. Allen had overstepped his bounds with Laura. He frowned. He had to keep his distance.

  He picked up the lantern and stood. “I’ve kept you up too late already.” He gestured toward the front door. “We should try to get some sleep before Mollie wakes up again.”

  Laura looked up at Allen and blinked at his sudden change in demeanor. Minutes earlier, he’d told her she was the only person with whom he could share his true feelings. Yet when she told him she was thankful for him, he stood and headed for the door.

  Oh no. I said too much and scared him away. Laura swallowed a groan as hot humiliation crawled up her neck to her cheeks. She’d crossed a line with him.

  She berated herself. She sounded like a girl who was desperate for Allen’s affection and attention. She’d behaved like one of the many young women in her youth group who followed her twin around like puppies, hoping to gain Mark’s offer of a real relationship.

  Laura’s shoulders hunched. How could she be so immature? Mamm would be so disappointed in her!

  Behind Allen, the rain increased, and a mist of cool water kissed her flaming cheeks.

  Allen wrenched the door open with one hand and held up the lantern with the other. “You need to get in before you’re soaked.”

  She jumped up from the swing and scooted past him into the house. She reached up and touched her head and felt her cheeks spark even more. She’d hurried out of Mollie’s room without pulling on a scarf.

  She cringed. Yes, her mother would be disappointed in her tonight. Not only had she been brazen with a young man, but her head had been uncovered. And to make matters even worse, she’d been bold with Allen, her best friend’s widower! What would Rudy say if he saw her now?

  She hugged her arms to her chest as she stood in the family room and waited for Allen to lock the front door. As soon as the lock clicked, she started up the stairs. He followed close behind her, the warm yellow glow of the lantern guiding their steps.

  When they reached the landing, Laura turned toward him and forced a smile. “Gut nacht.”

  “Gut nacht,” he echoed.

  She spun down the hall toward Mollie’s room.

  “Wait,” he said.

  With her back to Allen, she closed her eyes and held her breath. Please don’t make this even more embarrassing! She looked over her shoulder at him. “Ya?”

  “Danki for talking with me.” He had a hand on each hip, looking down at the lantern he’d set on the floor outside his room. “Today was really tough for me, but you made it bearable. I just wanted you to know I appreciate you.”

  He looked up, and she nodded. “That’s what freinden are for. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Before he could respond, she slipped into Mollie’s room, shucked her robe, and climbed into bed. Then she stared up at the ceiling as her conversation with Allen churned through her thoughts.

  She rolled to her side and faced the crib. Mollie snored softly, but her brother’s warning echoed loud in her mind. Perhaps she was getting too attached to Mollie. And then she heard his words about Rudy.

  You’re so focused on Allen and Mollie that you don’t see how it’s affecting Rudy. Just take a step back and think about how he feels.

  Mark was right when he said that. She needed to think of Rudy. Maybe she should ask for an evening off to make time for him. If she reconnected with Rudy and repaired her relationship with him, she could clear her head.

  Yes, that was what she needed to do. She needed to make time for Rudy and be the girlfriend he deserved. That would fix all their problems. She would ask for the evening off and keep a safe distance from Allen. That would solve everything.

  SEVENTEEN

  Laura sat down at the table across from Allen the following morning and bowed her head in prayer. Then she pushed the oatmeal in her bowl around as she recalled their awkward conversation hours before, as well as her decision to ask for the evening off. Her eyes moved to Mollie, sitting in her high chair, humming as she picked up globs of oatmeal and popped them into her mouth.

  Would Mollie miss her if she took a weeknight off?

  Mark’s warning echoed in her head once again, and her mind was made up. Allen and Mollie would be okay without her one evening. After all, they had survived the weekends.

  “Breakfast is appeditlich,” Allen said as he lifted his glass of orange juice.

  “Danki.” She set down her fork and looked at him. “I was wondering if I could take tonight off.”

  Allen blinked. “Sure. I didn’t realize you had plans.”

  “Well, I don’t exactly. At least not yet. But I’d like to make some.”

  “Okay.” He nodded slowly. “May I ask what your plans are?”

  “Of course you can. Don’t be gegisch. I was thinking I would ask Rudy if he wants to get together since we haven’t spent much time together lately. Maybe it would ease his mind about my working here.” She held her breath as if waiting for Allen’s approval. What was wrong with her?

  “I think that’s a great idea.” Allen chose a roll from the basket in the center of the table and cut it open. Was he avoiding her gaze? “Enjoy yourself.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course. Mollie and I will be just fine.” Allen turned to his daughter. “Right, Mollie?”

  Mollie sputtered and reached for Allen’s hand.

  “I think she wants your food,” Laura said with a laugh.

  “Ya, I do too. You have a schmaert stomach, Mollie.”

  After the breakfast dishes were washed and put away, Laura plopped Mollie in her play yard and walked out to Allen’s shop. At breakfast, he mentioned he’d be working on a buggy that had been in an accident, and that’s how she found him. He lifted his chin and smiled.

  She pointed toward the office. “I was wondering if I could use your phone.”

  He grabbed a red shop towel and began to wipe his hands. “I’ve told you before that you don’t have to ask.”

  “Danki.” She stepped into the office, sat down at Allen’s desk, and dialed the number for Rudy’s father’s store. She wound the cord around her finger as the phone rang.

  “Lancaster Hardware Supply.” Rudy’s voice sounded through the phone. “This is Rudy. How may I help you?”

  “Rudy, hi. It’s Laura.” She grinned as if he could see her.

  “Laura, hi. Was iss letz?” The noise behind him faded as if he’d stepped away from the cashier desk.

  “Nothing is wrong. I was wondering if you were busy tonight.”

  “Uh, no.” He paused. “Why?”

  “Because I want to ask you out on a date.”

  The line went dead for a few beats.

  “Rudy?” she asked. “Did we get disconnected? Are you still there?”

  “Ya, I’m here.”

  “So what’s your answer?” She frowned as an uneasiness teased her. Was he going to turn her down?

  “That sounds nice. What did you have in mind?”

  “What if we went to that pizza place we used to visit after spending the day at Cascade Lake with our youth group? They have the best pizza and breadsticks. That way we can talk and not be interrupted.”

  “That sounds like fun. Do you want me to pick you up?”

  “Ya. How does five sound?”

  “Perfect. I’m sure I can get off work early. See you then.”

  As Laura hung up the phone, she smiled. She was excited at the prospect of spending the evening with Rudy. She missed him! Yes, this was a great idea. This date would go a long way toward fixing the problems they’d encountered lately. They just needed some time together without any other distractions. Everything was going to be just fine.

  “How was your day?” Laura asked as she and Rudy sat across from each other in a booth at their favorite pizzeria. The aroma of cheeses, tomato sauce, and spices permeated her senses and caused her stoma
ch to growl.

  “Busy.” Rudy sipped his glass of Coke. “A man came in and bought all our chicken wire. I had to help him load it into his truck.” He held up his hand, displaying two bandaged fingers.

  She gasped and reached for his hand. “Are you going to be okay?”

  “It’s nothing. It’s part of the job.” He took another sip of his drink. “How was your day?”

  “Gut.” She smiled. “I did a few chores this morning while Mollie napped, and then I slept during Mollie’s afternoon nap. Since she has me up every night, I nap with her. I started doing that last week, and it helps me get through the day. Last night she had me up at two and then again at four, but I think the rain woke her up. Did you hear that storm last night? It was pretty bad.”

  Rudy’s expression darkened. He sat back in his seat and studied her. “Why did you ask me out tonight?”

  She blinked. “I wanted to see you since we haven’t talked much lately.”

  “Is that all?” He crossed his arms over his wide chest.

  “Ya, that’s all. I don’t have an ulterior motive, Rudy.” She leaned forward and placed her hands flat on the table. “I miss you. I miss us and the way things used to be before life got so complicated that we seemed to have lost touch with our relationship.”

  He studied her, his expression grim and his jaw set.

  Her stomach twisted and she chewed her lower lip, waiting for him to tell her he missed her too. When he remained silent, new doubt crept in, strangling her hope for their future.

  “I was surprised when you called me,” he finally said. “After our conversation on Sunday I thought you’d given up on us.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I haven’t given up. In fact, I realized I haven’t been trying hard enough. I’m sorry for being a bad girlfriend.”

  “It’s not just you.” He sighed. “I haven’t been patient enough.”

  “Here’s your pizza.” The waitress appeared with their large pepperoni pie and placed it on a stand in the center of their table. “Enjoy.”

  They bowed their heads for a prayer, and then they each took a slice. They ate in silence for a few minutes, and Laura racked her brain for something to say. Why was conversation with Rudy such a chore lately?

  “How are your parents doing?” she finally asked.

  He nodded as he finished chewing and then swallowed. “Gut. Mei mamm has been busy with her quilting circle. They’re getting a lot of orders for Christmas gifts.”

  “Oh. That’s wunderbaar. How long does it take for her to make one quilt?”

  While they finished the pizza, they made small talk about their families and the weather. After sharing an ice cream sundae Rudy said he’d been craving, they walked back to the buggy.

  Rudy climbed into the driver’s side and turned toward her. “I hope our getting dessert doesn’t get you home later than you wanted.”

  “Oh, I need to go back to Allen’s haus.”

  He scowled. “I thought you had the night off.”

  “Well, the evening. I need to stay overnight so I can take care of Mollie if she wakes up crying. Then I can make breakfast in the morning too. Allen’s often too tired to make a gut breakfast for himself.”

  “Fine,” he muttered before guiding the horse toward the main road.

  The painful silence that had drifted over their supper filled the buggy, and her blood ran cold. What was happening to them? Were they headed toward a breakup?

  After several minutes, Laura was certain the silence might choke her. She had to get him to talk to her before she exploded.

  “Rudy, you know I’m not going to work for Allen forever. Irma Mae is going to come back.”

  “Have you accepted that fact?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You act as if this is your permanent job.”

  “You mean I’m playing haus, right?” she snapped.

  Rudy gave her a sideways glance, and she went on. “I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”

  “You had supper with me, but you’re going home to him.”

  “I’m not going home to him.” Determined for him to listen to her, she kept her words slow and measured. “I’m going back to his haus to take care of Mollie, which is the main part of my job. I earn a salary to take care of her.”

  Rudy gripped the reins with such force that his knuckles turned white.

  They rode in silence until both the sign for Allen’s business and his house came into view. Rudy guided the horse up the rock driveway and halted near the back porch.

  Then he turned toward her, his dark eyes assessing her. “How long are you going to stay here overnight?”

  “I’ve already told you I don’t know. It all depends on when Mollie sleeps through the night again.” She gripped the door handle as disappointment coursed through her. “I asked you out tonight because I thought some time alone would help us figure out what’s going wrong between us.”

  He sighed and stared out the windshield.

  “Rudy, if you really tried to talk to Allen and be his freind, then you’d see why this is so important to me. Allen doesn’t just need my help. He also needs his freinden to support him. Irma Mae is going to recover, and then things can go back to the way they were. I just need you to be patient with me.”

  Rudy nodded while keeping his attention focused straight ahead.

  “You have nothing to say?” She hated the thread of desperation she heard in her voice.

  “I’m sorry.” The words sounded weak.

  She glanced toward the house and spotted a light glowing in the kitchen. She thought Allen, as exhausted as he’d been, would have been asleep by now. He’d given her a key to the back door in case she ever needed it.

  Focus on Rudy, not Allen!

  She turned toward her boyfriend and found him still studying his horse. It was time to give up and let him go home. She was tired, and Mollie would probably have her up during the night.

  “Well, gut nacht.” She pushed the door open.

  “Wait.” He reached out and touched her shoulder. “When will I see you again?”

  “Allen is having a birthday party for Mollie on Friday at five. I’d like it if you came.”

  He gave her a curt nod. “I’ll try.”

  “You’ll try?” She frowned.

  “Mei dat said something about staying late on Friday to do inventory. I’ll call you and let you know.”

  “Okay.” A tiny flame of hope ignited in her chest.

  “Gut nacht,” he said.

  “Gut nacht. Be safe going home.”

  When he’d left, she climbed the back steps and knocked on the door. It didn’t seem right to use the key if Allen was up.

  Footsteps echoed from the kitchen, and then the door swung open, revealing Allen dressed in trousers and a white T-shirt. His eyes widened. “I thought you were taking the night off.”

  “The evening, not the night. I’m sorry if I failed to be specific about my intention. Rudy just dropped me off.” She slipped past him and through the mudroom as he locked the back door.

  “How did it go?”

  “Great. Danki for giving me the evening off.” She hoped her smile was convincing. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Before he could question her further, Laura hurried up the steps to Mollie’s bedroom. As she quietly changed and climbed into bed, she fought the urge to pour out her heart to Allen. She closed her eyes and swallowed back the pain and disappointment the evening had brought her. She had believed tonight would be a chance to start mending the tear plaguing her relationship with Rudy.

  But the evening only brought to light what she had suspected— their problems were deeper than any pizza dinner could repair.

  EIGHTEEN

  “Today is your big day!” Laura sang as she stood Mollie on the changing table and pulled on the new pink dress she’d made her for the party. “All your party guests will be here soon, and we’re going to sing ‘Happy Birthday
’ to you.”

  Mollie giggled and clapped her hands.

  “People are going to bring you presents, and they’re going to wish you a happy birthday. Aren’t you excited?” Laura adjusted the dress and smiled.

  The remainder of the week had flown by quickly as Laura kept busy cleaning the house in preparation for the party. She’d also taken care of the laundry, helped Mollie practice walking, and sewed two new dresses for the little girl.

  Now it was Friday, and the party guests would arrive within the hour. Laura had baked two cakes earlier today—a large one for the guests and a small one Mollie would have on her high chair.

  Laura set Mollie in her crib and closed the bedroom door before changing into a fresh blue dress and arranging her hair and prayer covering.

  The shower in the hallway bathroom hummed as Allen bathed in preparation for the party. He’d closed his shop early to help get ready for their guests.

  Laura had done her best to keep a distance between her and Allen since she’d arrived at his house after her failed date with Rudy Tuesday night. While they spoke about Mollie and their chores, she avoided personal or intimate discussions. He also had kept their discussions more mundane, which further convinced Laura she had taken their conversation on the porch swing too far. But she was careful to keep a smile on her face, even though it was painful for her to pretend the distance didn’t hurt.

  Once her hair, dress, and apron were straight, Laura scooped Mollie from the crib. “I think we’re ready.”

  Mollie giggled and held on to Laura’s shoulder as Laura carried her downstairs, where she deposited her into her play yard.

  In the kitchen, Laura began gathering plastic utensils, serving trays, and disposable cups for the party. She was setting out paper plates when a knock sounded on the back door.

  “I’ve got it.” Allen smiled as he moved past her into the mudroom, and then she heard him open the door. “Hello! Danki for coming.”

  Laura followed him and found Jamie, Kayla, Nathan, and Lorraine burdened with loaded serving trays, bags of chips and pretzels, and three large drink containers.