Not About That Life

by Vera Roberts

  The crowd before me erupts into a thunderous applause and I legit forgot about them. I’m glad I didn’t reveal too much of my performance or I would’ve been a YouTube star for a different reason.

  “Now that I’m warmed up,” I hope the crimson in my cheeks isn’t too obvious, “let’s start the class.”

  ~~~~~

  After we closed up Angel Dance Studios, we needed a break from Thanksgiving food (well, I don’t have any food left because I ate all of it) so I took the squad out for a celebratory dinner at Sentiment.

  As I picked up the heavy leather-bound menu, I quickly skim over the list to see if Ian’d already made the change. His family raved about the dishes and Ian said he’d hoped to debut them soon, whenever that is.

  I just…I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m happy Ian has adapted to my culture but I feel he might be trying to introduce something new to the masses that had long been established. I feel like he’s trying to Bo Derek his way into soul food cuisine.

  “You have been quiet all evening,” Emma quietly speaks to me as she glances up from her menu. “Everything okay, Dom?”

  “Ian’s going to introduce soul food here soon,” I hope my reply isn’t too blistering, “I’m just wondering what that’s going to taste like.”

  “Well, Thanksgiving was delicious. Better than any shit Elise has ever done, that’s for damn sure.” Emma’s eyes briefly widen.

  “I’m just feeling iffy about the whole thing. Like I’m glad he’s introducing the menu but a part of me is like, why that particular cuisine?”

  “Try not to be insulted by it. It could also mean how much of an influence you are on Ian and he’s doing it in your honor,” she slowly blinks at me.

  I gulped. My…honor? Whoa. I never even thought of that.

  It still doesn’t take away I’m slightly uncomfortable with it. I want to talk to Ian about it but I don’t know to approach him without sounding an absolute, complete dick. I just have to wait and see.

  “So Dominique,” one of my black instructors, Chanel, began. She’s a slender, odalisque woman who always has this Erykah Badu-vibe about her. It’s not a surprise she also works at a dispensary, but unlike Helen, she does partake in smoking. She says it’s great for her menstrual cycles. She’s the main yoga instructor. “Is there something you want to tell us?”

  “Yeah, girl,” replies Keisha, another sista, who’s thick in all of the places that matter. She has long, thick Poetic Justice braids and a septum piercing. She teaches zumba and bellydancing. “Like that big-ass rock on your finger.”

  “Oh this?” I gladly show off the diamond. I only take it off at night and it’s in a secured location where someone would have to pretty much be CIA to get to it. And even then, I’m still not entirely sure they would be able to. “Oh, this old thing?”

  “Girl, bye!” Alicia replies. She teaches hip-hop and salsa. She’s an older lady in her fifties who look like she could be really in her thirties (because black don’t crack) and I have a feeling she’s probably more limber than I am. “Just come out and admit it.”

  “Quiet as its kept,” I slowly begin, “yes, I am engaged.” The ladies erupt into shrieks and cheers but Emma and I quickly quiet them down. “But we’re not announcing it yet. We will soon, though, and have an engagement party.”

  “Girl, let me see that!” Keisha looks at the diamond and whistles. “It really does pay to be with a rich dude.”

  “How many carats is that again?” Alicia asks.

  “Twenty-three,” I shyly reply, “for every year of my life.”

  “So are you going to get a bigger ring when you’re 30?” Chanel asks.

  “I certainly hope not,” I chuckle, “this is plenty.”

  “Congratulations, Dominique,” the sole melanin-deficient instructor, Lowell, grins at me. She’s about of medium-height but everything is big about her. Her curly blonde hair, her bright blue eyes, and her perfect skin tone.

  She looks like an American Girl doll but she’s real life. I’m always fascinated by her appearance whenever I see her. “Thank you, Lowell!”

  “I hope you and Ian have a happy marriage,” she takes a sip of wine and nods. She doesn’t say anything else.

  As I talk more with the other ladies about potential wedding plans, I notice Lowell is on her phone or maybe listening to a bit of the conversation at times. She’s not really participating.

  Still, I’m getting a weird vibe from her. Something is a bit off but maybe I’m just overthinking it. Maybe it’s just my hyper-active imagination yet again.

  “Ah, the best table in the house has the most beautiful women.” Ian comes out and greets everyone. He’s dressed in a V-neck sweater with dark slacks and matching loafers. An expensive watch adorns his wrist and his blue eyes sparkle with a bit of mischief. “How are you ladies doing?”

  “Doing better now that you’re here,” Alicia smiles, “congratulations on the thing I can’t mention.”

  “The thing you can’t mention?” He asks before I nod towards the giant diamond. “Oh yes, that thing. Well, you can mention it but just not in public. We plan to make an announcement in a few months.”

  “Domi should probably stop wearing it if you don’t want attention,” Lowell takes a sip of water.

  “Lowell, how’s your boyfriend?” Emma asks.

  Lowell shakes her head. “I don’t have one.”

  “Then shut up,” Emma turns her attention back to Ian, “we’re ready to order now.”

  “Good, I’ll send Martine right out,” Ian leans over and kisses me, causing oohs and sighs from my girls. “I’ll see you later tonight?”

  The way Ian whispers it tells me he wants see all of me and I’m more than ready. Hell, we can sneak off for a quickie upstairs.

  “There’s something I want to show you later,” his beard tickles my earlobe and the heat rises from my belly, “I hope you’re ready for it.”

  The sensual current easily flows between us and I’m ready to bail out on my girls. “Ready for what?” I softly reply.

  Ian slightly pulls back and the mischief in his eyes is so apparent now. There’s a deviant, almost filthy, curiosity within his ocean blues.

  His tone is completely blithe and his face shows no emotion as he replies: “Bondage.”

  Seven

  Walking into the penthouse this time around is different. The air is thin. I’m a bit lightheaded but steady. My stomach is coiled up into tight knots and my legs are a bit wobbly.

  Tonight, Ian wanted to practice on me. BDSM.

  I’ll admit I don’t know squat about it other than what I’ve read in a few ebooks and the movie. What I do know is that when Ian tied my wrists behind my waist and fucked me from behind, I couldn’t get enough of it.

  I guess a part of me liked feeling helpless as I begged him to not stop fucking me. A part of me loved relinquishing that control, exchanging the power, and submitting to him completely.

  Hmm…maybe I am a submissive?

  There’s not a question on whether I like it – he’s already tested the waters with spanking me and tying me up – now he wants to go further. Am I really ready for it? Can I handle it?

  We just have to see. Find out on the next episode of Young, Loaded, and Kinky.

  I don’t know why I’m scared. I guess it’s that weird feeling of the unknown. You want to take the first toe dip into the water to see how warm it is before you dive in. You want to see if your body can withstand the coldness of the water or it’ll be just too much.

  That’s where I was – dipping my toe into a pool of the unknown.

  I remove my shoes as I enter the foyer and am immediately greeted by the sounds of Teddy Pendergrass. I’m legit surprised Ian knows about him. Then again, this same man declared his love for Diary of a Mad Band so I can’t be too surprised by anything he does anymore.

  I search for him, knowing he’s nearby. I don’t see him, but I feel him. I feel his energy, his presence, and his love. My eyes f
ollow the trail of rose petals and candlelight to the open French doors leading to the wide and spacious balcony that overlooks Los Angeles.

  I don’t think I can ever get used to this.

  Ian slowly turns around and he’s still dressed in the same casual outfit from before. His eyes are softened to a sky blue and he pours a glass of champagne as I greet him. “Angel,” the word barely comes out as a whisper.

  He wraps his arm around me and gives me a deep, bear hug. The type of hug that only your lover could give you. The type that says, ‘I’ll forever protect you and honor you.’ He looks down at me and just smiles as he mouths along to the lyrics. “You’re more beautiful than the Mona Lisa…”

  I immediately take the glass and set it aside. I forcefully grab Ian by his neck and pull him down to my level. My lips are hungry for his and my tongue is anxious to play. I know he had romance in mind but sometimes a girl just needs to be fucked. Hard.

  What Ian did for me tonight was just too beautiful and I’m ready to give him this work.

  Ian follows my command and picks me up, carrying me to a corner. My back is against the brick wall and I feel him gather my arms and put them over my head. He pulls back slightly and a sexy smirk appears on his lips. “Stay.” He leaves and returns a short time later. He bounds my wrists together with soft rope and ties to them to a metal decoration above my head. “Try to move.”

  I slightly budged and was stuck. A small wave of fear crashed into me. It’s all fun and games when I’m reading about it or watching the movie version but to actually experience it?

  I’m not too sure I like this shit.

  “Ian…” My voice barely comes out as a whisper and he shakes his head.

  “Sir,” he corrects me.

  I read his eyes; there’s an intensity and methodical wickedness about them now. I’ve never seen that look on him before. His voice is a deadly soft whisper. His stance is still relaxed but a bit hardened.

  He means business. I thought I was about to give him this work but really, he’s about to give it to me. My pulse races. My breathing becomes a bit more sporadic. My mouth is cottony dry and I’m nervous.

  Dare I admit, scared.

  Yet, I’m curiously aroused. My nipples are hard as glass. My panties are wet. My skin tingles with anticipation of what’s to come and maybe, how much I’m going to. I’m hungry for more and we barely just got started. Ian has turned me out.

  “Don’t be afraid,” he calmly says. His arms are casually crossed against his chest and he appears to be an instructor giving me a lesson. “You’re not in harm and I won’t harm you.”

  My shoulders relax a bit. My arms aren’t stretched out nor am I uncomfortable in any way other than emotionally. I guess he was taking me to a new limit.

  Limits. I definitely remember that term. Hard. Soft. I also remember there’s some sort of contract involved.

  “Whatever you’ve learned or think you have learned, get that shit out of your head now.” He seemingly reads my mind. “We’re starting fresh tonight. You want to explore, I’ll help.”

  My body isn’t just aroused; it seems Ian somehow plugged into an unknown outlet and turned me on to the highest setting. I can’t touch anything but I can feel the air softly blow against my body, making it tingle.

  My mind is going a mile a minute. I’m being pulled in different directions and I’m not sure what path I should take. I let out a soft sigh and my chest falls. “Yes, Sir.” Calling Ian that suddenly emboldens me.

  “Good girl,” He walks up to me. An index finger caresses my body where my plain t-shirt and jeans are. He retrieves a knife out of his pocket and makes a small hole in my shirt before he shreds it with his bare hands.

  He unbuttons my jeans and pulls them down my hips, casually tossing them in the corner. I’m only wearing my bra and bikini panties as I slightly dangle against the brick wall. My underwear is rather juvenile – several emojis are displayed across the front and back of it. My bra is the standard expensive La Perla demi lace.

  I feel a shift of energy between us. Once again, he’s leading as I follow but it’s different this time. Dare I say, he almost wants me to tell him what to do and how. The moonlight shines on my body, hitting every nook and curve, and I carefully watch what Ian is going to do next.

  His cologne is overwhelming male with notes of earth, citrus, and jasmine. I feel the heat transfer between us like an energy current; he’s giving and I’m accepting. He looks up at me from where he is, kneeling at my feet. He lifts up one foot and lightly massages it before he kisses it.

  He repeats the same motion to my other foot and this time, I moan in appreciation. His eyes don’t leave mine and he seems pleased that I’m responding. His hands caress both of my legs, reaching up to my hips and slowing pull down my panties. He spreads my legs again and cups my sex, feeling how wet and hot I am for him.

  A wicked smile appeared on Ian’s face and I knew it was going to be a long night for both of us. “Are you ready, my pet?”

  Pet. I’m not sure if I like that nickname while we play, but I’ll make a suggestion later. “Yes, Sir.”

  Before I could fully enjoy Teddy P.’s soulful sounds, I feel Ian’s tongue press against my clit. My body lurched forward on its own recognizance, twisting and turning as his tongue flicked over it the sensitive piece of flesh.

  He held onto my legs and he dived deeper into my sex, sucking hard at times, flicking his tongue across it at others. My body spasmed into little fireworks as I panted and cried. I feel the small stubble of his beard against my inner thighs while both hands remained on my thighs. His tongue circled my clit as he lifted one leg over his shoulder.

  Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck

  My body involuntarily shakes as small beads of sweat form on my skin. As Teddy sings how his lover his lifting him higher and higher, I feel the same emotions from Ian. Moans are pouring out of my body and I don’t dare to try to quiet myself. He wants to hear me scream.

  He wants me to be raw. He wants me to be free.

  Ian flattens his tongue before he drives it inside me once again. I’m straining against the rope and breathing hard through my nose when he lifts up my other leg on his shoulder. Now I’m elevated on his balcony and getting crazy head from my fiancée.

  My thighs are trembling, I feel the heat rise in my belly, and I know I’m getting close. I know Ian feels it too and he increases his speed.

  In the open air, and I’m sure our neighbors could definitely hear me, if not see me, I came hard against Ian’s mouth.

  “Shh…” His hands caress my legs as I feel his eyes watching my orgasm roll throughout my body. He’s not telling me to quiet specifically, but to calm down my body. He lowers my legs back down and he stands up. He quickly unbuckles his pants and his hardened cock juts out.

  With a quick move, he’s inside me and I gasp at how much he filled me. He fucks me hard and quick; his hands steadily gripping my ass as he taunts me. “Take it, take it, take it.”

  My pussy contracted around his thick cock with every thrust he’d given me. I felt his warm breath against my neck as he moaned against it. He lifted my hips slightly and gave me more of him, completely filling me.

  I gasped and moaned, pleaded and sighed. This was new to me and again, for us. My body was almost numb from the pleasure overload. My mind was spinning, my heart had never beaten so fast before.

  We moved together as one, our bodies slapping against each other, as Ian built a steady tempo. Every time we make love, it’s a new experience, a different level we’re going to, and it’s never the same.

  I felt my body begin to betray me with another orgasm. My legs shake, my body softly trembles, and my pussy convulses around Ian’s cock. I’m on the cusp of yet another orgasm, lost within the moment, when Ian suddenly stops.

  My eyes flew open and I found his staring back at me. They’re serious, intense, and are we about to have a serious discussion while he’s still inside me?

  “If you wan
t to become My submissive, you do what I say.” His British accent had a bite to it. “Do you understand I own your body now?”

  “Yes, Sir!” I moaned.

  “Will you follow my instructions with no questions asked?”

  “Yes, Sir!”

  “Now you may come,” He ordered and I felt reborn. I exploded with a shriek, followed by a loud moan as my body convulsed against his. My body arched off the brick wall and Ian….Ian just chuckled at me. “That’s my girl.”

  Ian – or should I say Sir – thrust inside me a few more times before He met His own release.

  My pussy quivered and shook around His cock as Sir crushed His lips upon mine. We stayed in that position for a short while before He moved. I felt his pounding heartbeat against mine, his sweaty forehead next to my neck, Things were different between us now.

  We were in full-blown, knee-deep into a BDSM relationship.

  I wasn’t naïve enough to think it was only going to be about sex. I knew there were going to be some things Sir was going to do I wouldn’t agree with or be comfortable. But I also knew I needed to trust Him with everything. Sir said He would never put me in any harm or danger, and I believe Him.

  I only hope I can rise up to what’s in store.

  Sir pulls out of me and gently removes the rope as He holds me against His body. He then picks me up and carries me to our bedroom, where He lays me down. The coolness of our bedroom is in contrast to the hotness on my skin and the energy moving between us.

  Things are different now. We’re closer than before, if that was possible. I feel like I can trust Him with anything. He’s already saved my life numerous times and now He’s taken me to a place I’d never been before.

  I want more. I want all of it.

  Sir leaves for a short while and comes back with ice water and a moist towel. He gives me the water before He gently blots my skin with the towel, cooling me down and seemingly, bringing me back to earth.

  So many emotions are going through my body and I have no idea how to process them all. What do I say? What can I say? How am I supposed to feel?

  “This is aftercare,” He quietly mentions as he continues to blot my heated skin, “it’s to bring you down from the high and talk about what you just went through. All submissives are supposed to go through this with a Dom who knows His shit.”