Liza's Second Chance

by Molly Jebber

  She told him the gossip in town and listened to him talk about his day to keep his mind off Ellie. Feeding him supper and desserts had been easy.

  Even though she had misgivings about being a mamm to Ellie in the future, she’d grown fond of her. What was Ellie doing this very moment? Did she have a proper place to stay? Had harm kumme to her? She prayed to God for His will in Ellie’s life. She had to remind herself often to trust God to take care of Ellie. Her heart would shatter if something happened to the young woman. Each day she hoped Jacob would say he’d received a letter from her.

  Hannah and Esther had gasped the day she told them Ellie had left town. Hannah had cried and said she thought they were close friends. She didn’t understand how Ellie could go without saying farewell or leaving a letter for her.

  Dr. Harrison and Sheriff Williams wandered in, took off their hats, and sat down on stools.

  Liza lifted the coffeepot. “You’re late today. You must’ve been busy this morning.”

  “Mrs. Timmons came to my office complaining about her neighbors’ target shooting. They’re on their own property way back in the woods and aren’t doing anything wrong. The woman needs something to do. She grumbles too much.”

  Dr. Harrison grabbed a clean mug from the small shelf. “I’ll take some coffee. Thank you, Liza.” He shook his head. “Merry Lynn is five and she’s been in my office for scrapes and gashes more times than any other child in this town. She loves to climb everything. She fell out of a tree and cut her leg bad enough to need a slew of stitches.” He stretched his neck to peruse the top shelf of goodies. “I’ll have an apple pastry.”

  “I’ll have coffee and two sugar cookies.” The sheriff licked his lips.

  Liza served them. “Mrs. Timmons is a childless widow. She’s hungry for company. You’re a patient man to listen to her. You take good care of all of us and have more patience than most men.”

  Dr. Harrison chuckled. “I make every excuse to get away from her when she calls me. I need a little more patience.” He opened the newspaper. “Steiff created twenty-inch curly mohair black teddy bears to sell to people to purchase as gifts for those mourning the sinking of the Titanic. They’re making a limited number.”

  The sheriff peeked at the page. “I don’t like the idea. Every time I glanced at the furry bear, I’d be reminded of the men and women who lost their lives.”

  “I like the cute button-nose bear. It’s a thoughtful idea to comfort those who are suffering.”

  The sheriff shrugged. “You have a point.” He pointed to the other pictures of their light brown teddy bears. “I like those better.”

  Liza wiped some crumbs off the top glass shelf inside the display counter. She would keep her mouth shut and not engage in this conversation. The sheriff and Dr. Harrison had often had different opinions and she had made a point not to get involved. This time she agreed with the sheriff. She was drawn more to the light brown bears too.

  Dr. Harrison and the sheriff finished reading their paper, emptied their mugs and plates, and bid her farewell.

  Jacob came in later in the day. “Good afternoon, sweetheart. Where are Esther and Hannah?”

  “Gone for the day. I surprised them and insisted they take a day off now and then. I’m sure they’re working hard at home.” She shook her head and glanced out the window. “I can’t believe it’s May thirteenth. April passed in a flash. I’m enjoying the lush green grass and full meadows of colorful flowers in the pastures and on the way to work each morning.”

  “Were you busy today?”

  “No, it’s been calm for a Monday.” She slathered butter on a piece of cinnamon bread and handed it to him. “It’s still warm.”

  He lifted the slice to his nose. “Yummy.” He ate the corner of the bread and smiled his approval. “I talked to the sheriff and stopped by the post office. No news.”

  The sad, patient man had lost weight, and the dark circles under his eyes told her he wasn’t sleeping well. She’d lost weight and hadn’t been sleeping through the night since Ellie left either. A naïve and confused young woman searching for the kind of life she wanted to lead in the outside world couldn’t be good. The more time that passed without so much as a letter from Ellie, the more she feared something bad had happened to her.

  Mae and Peter pushed the bakery door open.

  Mae said, “Good afternoon, Liza, Jacob.”

  Peter tugged on Jacob’s sleeve. “Is Ellie home yet?”

  “I’m afraid not, little one.”

  Mae harrumphed and coughed. “The girl is trouble. Jacob, you’d be better off if she stays away. Young men and women turning their backs on our way of life shouldn’t tarnish what we’ve built here.”

  Liza splayed her hand on the countertop. “We are to love and forgive those who have hurt us. I pray she’ll return, and you should too. She’s a beautiful and vibrant young woman who is unsure of herself. We need to wilkom her back with open arms if she returns.”

  “I don’t agree.” Mae coughed and held a fist to her mouth until she recovered. She hurriedly grabbed Peter’s hand and bustled out the door without buying a thing.

  Liza groaned. “I should have kept my mouth shut. I only made things worse.”

  “It’s happening again. Ellie left Nappanee and it wasn’t any time before the gossip started about her. A large part of the community didn’t accept her when she returned. Ellie didn’t help nurture their acceptance of her. The stories she told about the outside world frustrated me and fueled the fire against her, and I’ll never understand why she did it or why she did the same here.”

  “Esther has invited us to supper. Kumme with me to their haus and take your mind off Ellie and what other people are thinking of her.”

  “I’d like to. Danki.” He patted her arm. “I could use a diversion from my constant worry about Ellie.” He snapped his fingers. “Mae’s cough seems worse. Have you suggested she pay Dr. Harrison a visit?”

  Liza sighed. “I did. She dismissed it. She’s a proud woman. I don’t want to anger her by prying.”

  “You’re right. It’s all you can do.” He opened the door. “I’ll be back. I’ve got to stop by the hardware store for some nails.”

  “I’ll be here.” She finished baking her nut bread, washed her hands, and waited on customers trickling in the rest of the afternoon. Jacob had been gone for a couple of hours. Ready to close the bakery, she removed her apron and hung it on a wooden peg inside the kitchen. She stowed her remaining desserts in containers and put them away.

  *

  Jacob dashed inside the door an hour and a half later. “I went home for a little bit. I couldn’t shop anymore today.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m not myself. I’m distracted and unable to think straight since Ellie’s been gone. The stores were crowded and I kept bumping into people. I stepped out in front of a shiny black Ford Model T. The driver shook his finger, smiled, and told me to be careful. I apologized and he gave me a friendly wave instead of the scowl I deserved.”

  “I’m glad you weren’t hit by the motorcar! Did you run into anyone you knew?”

  “In the general store I dodged several of the men and women I recognize from Sunday services. Two couples were talking about Ellie’s exploits in the outside world the last time she left the Amish life, when we lived in Nappanee. They mentioned that Leah and Eva had told them about Ellie’s past at your bakery social. I don’t blame people for being appalled by her behavior. I have no response for them. I avoided them and left. You may not want to associate with me. It could tarnish your reputation. Two women commented I might not have been a good influence on Ellie for her to act in such a disrespectful way.”

  People could be so cruel. She’d had a dose of it from Paul. Fearful that if she told anyone what he was really like they’d have turned on her. He’d done a good job convincing their friends he was an upstanding and respectable man. Her problem with Paul had been a secret, and she didn’t have to suffer ridicule, like Jaco
b. “I’m not distancing myself from you. Genuine friends in our community won’t either. Many people have compassion for you and Ellie and will forgive her and wilkom her back if she returns. You’re a wonderful daed. Pay them no mind.”

  Jacob brushed his lips against her cheek. “I’m glad you’re a strong woman. I’m so sorry about all this.”

  “Other kinner leave and practice rumspringa to satisfy their curiosity about the outside world one way or the other. Most have returned and joined the church. Ellie has the same opportunity.”

  Jacob raised his shoulders and winced. “She’s run off without having a conversation with me about it twice and both times young men who are Englischers have been involved. The kinner who return don’t boast about how much they love the outside world, and they don’t make known their indecision about staying in the Amish community. They just don’t kumme back. She put us in jeopardy of being shunned in our previous town and now here.”

  He was right. She hadn’t discussed this with him and she’d flaunted her past with Englischers to her Amish friends. There was no sugarcoating this. “You’re right. I don’t like judgment being placed on you for Ellie’s indiscretions.”

  “I may have to move again to another Amish community if she returns, depending on her attitude. Would you ever consider relocating? I have to keep trying with Ellie if she returns. I know the bakery is important to you.” He held her hands in his. “Liza, marry me. I love you with all my heart. The timing isn’t ideal, but no matter if Ellie returns or not, I want to spend my life with you. We can discuss moving. I realize you may be against it.”

  This was his first hint about a possible future with her, but she wouldn’t leave her life in Charm. It meant everything to her. She’d learned how important it was to have family by her side as she dealt with her loathsome husband. Life for her had become happy, and she loved working side by side with Esther and Hannah.

  Hannah would probably marry and have kinner. She wouldn’t want to miss any part of it. Even if Ellie came back and Jacob stayed in Charm, she wasn’t sure she could handle being a mamm to a young woman as difficult as Ellie.

  She loved Jacob, but the thought of jumping back into a marriage with constant turmoil scared her. The reality of not having a future with him scared her too. It was too early to consider this now. They had to wait. Ellie might or might not return. “We don’t know what’s going to happen. Let’s be patient and have this conversation when Ellie kummes home. We both have much to consider.”

  Jacob nodded and stepped outside behind her and waited for her to lock the door. “I went to the livery earlier and got your buggy. I’ll follow you to Esther’s.”

  *

  Liza drove to Esther’s. Her request to delay their discussion had upset Jacob. His furrowed brows and lips in a grim line were evident this was true. A smart man, he knew she had doubts. A pang of regret at causing him more pain ratcheted through her. Being truthful with him and herself was important to build a solid foundation of trust between them. A commitment to love, honor, respect, and resolve problems for a lifetime with Jacob switched back and forth from fear to trust. She’d longed for a peaceful life and she finally had it. And then Jacob had swept in and captured her heart.

  She’d learned marriage wouldn’t always be easy even in the best of times. Ellie, if she returned, might not agree to their union, and that would be the end of her and Jacob. She wouldn’t kumme between him and his dochder. It wouldn’t be wise, and the turmoil to kumme would be more than she was willing to handle. She hoped the problem would be resolved if Ellie returned.

  The horse stopped in front of the hitching post and Jacob stood ready to take the reins. “You go on in. I’ll take care of your mare and mine.”

  She nodded and strolled inside. “How is everyone?”

  Abe grinned. “Hungry.”

  Hannah set plates on the table. “Did Jacob kumme with you?”

  “He’s taking care of the horses. He’ll be in shortly.”

  Esther passed Liza platters laden with food. “The potatoes, turkey, and vegetables are ready. Would you mind putting these in the center?”

  “I’d be happy to.” She sniffed the scent of warm comfort food and couldn’t wait to satisfy her hunger. She crossed the room and centered the food for easy passing.

  Hannah skipped to the door. “I’ll tell the men supper’s ready.”

  Jacob came in behind Hannah and greeted everyone and took his same seat at the table. “The turkey must’ve been a big one, Esther. The bird had big legs and thighs, which are my favorite. The meat is falling off the bone. Danki for inviting me.”

  “Consider this your second home, Jacob.” Abe spread a tattered napkin on his lap.

  Hannah chuckled. “Daed, you should let me get you another cloth. You’ve asked for the same napkin for years. It’s worn thin.”

  “Your mamm made two of these for us before you were born. I used the other one until it had holes in it. I’m being careful with this one. It’s a special napkin to me.” He winked at Esther.

  Her cheeks pinked. “You’re an old softy, Abe, and I love you for it.”

  Liza admired Esther and Abe’s relationship, speaking openly about their feelings for each other. Most Amish men wouldn’t do such a thing. “Esther worked hard on those. She wanted them to be perfect.”

  Hannah covered her mamm’s hand. “I hope my future husband treasures the gifts I make him as much as Daed does the ones you make him, like the napkin.”

  “Consider everything about the man you want to marry before taking the big step. Love isn’t everything. Commitment, communication, and putting each other’s needs before your own are what make a happy marriage.” Esther reached for her water.

  Liza reflected on Esther’s advice to Hannah. She applied the wisdom to herself and Jacob. There were so many unknowns for them. “We all want the best for you, Hannah. I’m sure God has the perfect man for you when the time is right.”

  Abe forked a small piece of turkey. “Hannah, don’t be in a hurry to leave your daed. I can’t bear not having you around here.”

  Hannah gave him a warm smile. “No one can take your place, Daed.”

  Jacob kept silent and ate quietly.

  Liza glanced at him. This topic must be hard on him. He might never know what Ellie was doing, if she got married, had kinner, or was even alive.

  Hannah lowered her fork. “Jacob, why do you think Ellie didn’t tell me she was leaving? I’ve been contemplating this ever since she left. I don’t understand why she wouldn’t have confided in me.”

  Liza jerked her head back. “Hannah, Jacob doesn’t want to speak about Ellie. It’s painful for him. Let’s talk about something else.”

  Esther gasped. “Hannah, you shouldn’t put Jacob on the spot. He doesn’t want to answer for Ellie. You’ll have to ask your friend why she didn’t tell you when she returns.”

  “She may not return and I really want to know.” She heaved a heavy sigh. “Jacob, you don’t have to answer.”

  Holding up his hand, Jacob smiled at Hannah. “She said in her letter that Bill had told her about meeting me in the bakery earlier in the day. She didn’t want to face me knowing I’d be upset she’d met him in town several times without telling me. It’s no secret she’s been deliberating leaving us for a while. I hoped she’d been swayed to stay due to your friendship, along with the rest of your family and especially Peter. I don’t think she could face you. You meant too much to her.”

  Liza’s eyes watered with tears. She was grateful to him for his honesty and care in answering her niece. Hannah considered Ellie a close friend and the loss of her had been difficult for her niece.

  “I had assumed I meant nothing to her because she didn’t share her news with me. You shed a different light on the matter. Danki, Jacob. I pray she’ll kumme back to Charm. I miss her.”

  Esther shoved a plate of still-steaming potatoes in Jacob’s direction. “We all do, sweetheart. I have faith she’ll kumme home wit
h a clear mind soon. Now, I don’t want anyone leaving this table not utterly stuffed. I made enough food to have second and third helpings. Don’t hesitate to empty these serving plates.”

  Esther offered food to smooth over hurt or sadness, to divert the injured party’s attention, Liza supposed. She remembered her schweschder fetching cookies for her when she had tears from an injury or had gotten in trouble with their parents. She had such fond memories of their times together. They’d hardly fussed as kinner and their friendship had grown deeper with every year.

  Jacob and Abe pushed their plates away.

  Abe gestured to Jacob. “Let’s go out on the porch.”

  Jacob thanked Esther and Hannah for the meal and smiled at Liza on his way out the door.

  Liza joined Esther and Hannah at the sink in the kitchen.

  Esther nudged her. “What’s wrong between Jacob and you?”

  Hannah gently swiped at her with the dish towel. “I noticed it too.”

  “You’re both too observant.”

  “Jah, so, answer my question.” Hand on her hip, Esther stared at her.

  “Jacob’s worried if Ellie kummes back, the Amish community may make life awkward for her in Charm. He and Ellie experienced that in Nappanee. He’s afraid if that happens, he’ll have to move again.”

  “Why move again? The idle talk will pass if she asks for forgiveness from God and the church congregation.” Hannah slung the towel over her shoulder and held the dry plate to her chest.

  Esther sighed. “The Amish are guilty of gossiping. We should know better, but we’re human. It will take a while for the people to accept and trust her again. No one wants any turmoil here. We love her and we’d embrace her, but others may not for a long time.”