Liza's Second Chance

by Molly Jebber

  He wanted to believe her, but she’d left him twice. Trusting her would kumme if she was respectful and responsible to him and others. Jacob had Liza’s name on his tongue. The moment might be right to bring up his love for Liza. He bit his lip. He would treasure this heartwarming conversation with her, but he didn’t want to spoil it. He hoped Ellie would be happy about his news, but his stomach clenched. He didn’t have a positive feeling about it.

  Chapter Seven

  Liza added assorted fruit pies to the top shelf under the counter. The bakery door opened. She rose and spread her arms wide. Jacob and Ellie stood in front of her. “Ellie, you’re home! How wonderful!”

  Ellie walked into her arms.

  Liza embraced her. “Jacob, you must be thrilled!” She hoped Ellie had returned to them a changed young woman, ready to obey God and her daed and return to Amish life. Jacob’s dochder had a sparkle in her eyes and a glow, telling her this might be true.

  He beamed. “I’m very happy. She arrived this morning.”

  Ellie’s cheeks pinked. “Danki for the warm reception, Liza. It’s really good to see you.” She scanned the bakery. “Are Esther and Hannah in the back?”

  Hannah ran to her. “Ellie, wilkom home!”

  Hannah and Esther circled Ellie in a hug. Esther wiped a tear from her eye with the corner of her apron. “Ellie, you mustn’t leave us again!” She kissed her cheek. “Our hearts couldn’t take it. You’re like family. It wasn’t the same without you.”

  Ellie’s lips quivered and her face paled. “I apologize for any pain I caused all of you. I’m blessed to have you in my life. I realized this while I was away. Please forgive me, and I want you all to know, Charm is my home. I won’t be leaving again.” She gently squeezed Hannah’s hand and exchanged an endearing grin with Jacob.

  Liza’s heart thumped with joy. Jacob’s lips couldn’t stretch any farther in a smile. She had ached for him during the time Ellie was absent from his life. “Please sit and have dessert.”

  Esther poured them each a glass of milk and served them lemon candy cookies. “I’m glad we’ve got a break from customers. Hopefully, we’ll have a few minutes to visit. Ellie, what happened to change your mind about Amish life?”

  The room became silent. No one moved. Liza leaned forward. Ellie’s answer would determine how deeply she’d thought about her decision. She glanced at Jacob. He was the only one relaxed and confident, appearing as if he knew what Ellie would say. She assumed the Grabers had already had this conversation.

  “Delores and I worked alongside each other almost every day, doing laundry, cooking, working in the garden, and feeding the chickens and livestock. She’s soft-spoken, wise, and loving. I’ll miss her. She’s close to God and reads her Bible every morning and evening. She offered advice and reminded me how much God loved me. I think I was more receptive to her because she reminded me of Mamm.

  “God pricked my conscience about my wayward thinking and reminded me I’m His and I lived according to my preferences. I was ignoring God’s principles. No wonder I was miserable. I’m grateful for God’s forgiveness and for yours.”

  Hannah rested her elbows on the table and put her fists under her chin. “Did you wear Englischer clothes while you were away?”

  “I didn’t choose to wear the clothes Delores offered me. I’d packed clothes from home before I left. I’m not sure why, but I had no desire to change from my Amish clothes this time. I didn’t have the same desires I did the first time I left, but I had to squelch even the smallest doubt about living in the outside world before I could commit once and for all to Amish life.”

  Liza wished she could thank Delores for taking the time to coax Ellie to kumme home and find her way back to God. If Ellie hadn’t returned, she doubted she could’ve committed to a future with Jacob. She would’ve always wondered if Ellie would kumme home and be angry her daed had remarried, causing friction between her and Jacob. She wouldn’t forgive herself if that had happened. She was almost sure she was barren. Paul’s rants about it being her fault they had no tiny feet pitter-pattering around their haus haunted her. She didn’t know if she could live with the guilt again.

  Liza hugged herself and sighed. Jacob stirred hope, a bit of trust, and love in her heart. She’d tempered it with the fear of getting hurt. The bakery and her family and her faith in God fulfilled her. Maybe she should keep her friendship with Jacob simple. Could she stop the love she had for him from growing? She’d have to concentrate and stifle the spring in her step and the smile on her lips each time her gaze met his.

  Would it be fair to marry Jacob and rob him of having kinner? She didn’t think so. He could eventually find and marry a woman who could expand his family if he wanted. Siblings would be good for Ellie, as they’d witnessed with her caring for Peter. “Peter will be happy you’re home.”

  The door opened. Peter rushed to Ellie, halted, and crossed his arms in front of him.

  She rose and opened her arms, a happy smile on her face. “Please, Peter, kumme to me.”

  Peter squinted and wrinkled his nose. “You left me.”

  She knelt and held his elbows. “I won’t leave you again. I promise.”

  He shuffled his feet. “Did you miss me?”

  “Oh, Peter, I missed you so much. I thought about you every single day. Will you please forgive me?”

  Mae stood back, her lips pinched. “You broke his heart, Ellie. He’s barely spoken and reverted to gloominess. How does he know he can depend on you?”

  Peter wrapped his arms around Ellie’s neck. “Because she promised she wouldn’t leave me again, and I believe her, Mamm.”

  Ellie held Peter. “From the bottom of my heart, Mae, I apologize for the pain I caused your son and the mess I left you, having to find another nanny for him. Please give me another chance.”

  The picture of Peter’s confrontation with Ellie turning to his defense of her touched her heart. She swallowed. She waited for Mae to respond. All eyes were on the woman.

  Mae fidgeted with the empty cotton sack under her arm. The same bag the Amish carried to take their goods home from shopping. “I was angry with you for leaving, and I’ve prayed about my bad attitude. I’m glad you’re home, and if Peter believes you and is willing to forgive you, I should too.”

  Peter left Ellie and went to his mamm. “Would you let her take care of me again?”

  Mae didn’t respond for a few moments. Her face ran the gamut of emotions.

  Liza bit her bottom lip. The silence was awkward.

  Jacob rubbed the stubble on his chin. “Ellie, perhaps Mae needs more time to ponder your request.”

  Peter bounced on his toes. “Mamm, please! I don’t want to go to the Millers’ while you work. Matthew picks on me.”

  “You have made quite a positive impression on my boy, young lady. How can I refuse his sweet little face? He’d never forgive me.” Her face softened. “I’m glad you’re home safe and I would like you to watch Peter for me. Please, Ellie, don’t disappoint us again. I can’t stand to have Peter in such dismay. When you have kinner of your own one day, you’ll understand how helpless I’ve felt to cheer him.”

  Peter clapped his hands. “Ellie, did you hear Mamm? You and I can play ball, make cookies, fish, and feed the animals together! Yippee!”

  Ellie tousled his hair. “I’m as happy about this as you are, little one.”

  Mae studied the desserts on the shelves under the counter. “I’ll take two peach tarts and a dozen of your butter cookies.” She bent and coughed.

  Liza made her way behind the counter and selected Mae’s choices, accepted payment, and wrapped them for her. She opened her mouth to ask her about her health, then changed her mind. “Here you go.” She moved from behind the counter, crouched down, and gestured to Peter. “Do I get a hug?”

  He grinned and hugged her.

  Mae opened the door. “Kumme along, Peter. Ellie, I’ll expect you at seven in the morning sharp.”

  “You can count on m
e. I’ll be at your haus early.”

  Peter shook Jacob’s hand and wrapped his arms around Esther’s waist, then Hannah’s. They bid him and his mamm farewell.

  Hannah chuckled. “Mamm, why were you quiet while the Chupps were here?”

  She held a hand to her neck. “I had a lump in my throat, observing the sweet exchange. Peter is so taken with Ellie. He bounces with joy around her. I’m used to his foot-dragging, bent head, and frown, and he never hugs us. His transformation around her is a wonder.”

  Liza smiled at Ellie. “His reaction to you is astounding. He shines as bright as the sun around you.”

  “I’m grateful Mae is trusting me again. I love being around him. He brings me as much joy as I bring him.”

  A couple came into the bakery. Liza greeted them with a smile. “How may I help you?”

  Hannah and Esther beckoned Ellie to join them in the back room.

  Jacob stood idly by while Liza waited on the couple.

  Liza filled their order and bid them farewell. She smiled at Jacob. “I’m so happy for you. Your face mirrors Peter’s.”

  “I’m relieved, thrilled, and relaxed now she’s home.” He told her what had happened with Bill and Mr. Phillips’s confrontation.

  Her mouth opened. “I’m shocked.” Her eyes went to his shoulder. “I had no idea you’d been shot. Are you in pain?”

  He shook his head. “My shoulder is sore. The bullet grazed the skin and left a deep gash. The bleeding stopped and I suspect a scab will form soon. I’m keeping a clean bandage on the ugly spot.”

  Jacob could’ve been killed. The revelation shook her to the core. The love she had for him swirled in her chest. And Bill Phillips … The young man deserved a daed he could respect and create fond memories with to last him a lifetime. Instead, he’d been put in the position of protecting his mamm and fleeing their home to seek refuge with relatives. “What a terrifying story. My heart goes out to Bill and his mamm. The young man must be overwhelmed and fearful.”

  “Bill stands tall and speaks with a strong voice. He’s far from weak, and he doesn’t shy away from speaking his mind. Unlike his daed, he’s kind and thoughtful. He and Mr. Phillips couldn’t be more opposite. He has a close relationship with his relatives, and I’m certain he and Mrs. Phillips will be happier there.”

  “Did Ellie say whether she had fallen in love with Bill? I’m baffled they aren’t together, considering she agreed to run away with him.”

  “Ellie desired friendship with Bill and nothing else. His lovesick eyes showed his hurt as he left without her. He didn’t push her for more than friendship when she made her wishes clear.” He brought his fingers to her cheek. “I’ll talk to Ellie about you and me tonight. She’s home, in Charm to stay. I sense you won’t consider a future with me without her approval.”

  “Jacob, allow her time to settle back down in Charm and life in the community. Most of the Amish will wilkom her back. Some may gossip and shy away from her for a while. She doesn’t need any added pressure from you about us. Ellie isn’t the sole reason for my reservation about us.”

  Jacob sucked in a breath. “What other reason?”

  She glanced over her shoulder toward the back room. The women’s chatter buzzed. They weren’t paying attention to her and Jacob. “You may desire more kinner, and I’m almost certain I’m barren.” She gripped her other hand and held it tight. Her gaze dropped from his.

  “Liza, I choose you. It doesn’t matter to me if you can have a boppli. I’m fine without more kinner.”

  Paul had ridiculed her for not giving him the family he desired. Jacob and Paul didn’t have much in common and she shouldn’t blame him for her late husband’s mistakes. Her husband had called her worthless, an embarrassment, and impure. He’d accused her of committing a sin, causing her barrenness.

  She couldn’t envision Jacob doing the same, although she cared for him enough and wanted him to have kinner. Ellie had been a challenge for him, and he’d impressed her with his unwavering love and support for his dochder.

  He deserved more kinner, and they would be blessed to have such a compassionate daed. “Jacob, I love you. If Ellie would accept me and I could give you kinner, I would contemplate a future with you. I suspect you could have your pick of any available Amish woman in the community. One who can provide you with a happy home as a fraa and bear you kinner.”

  He dropped his hand to his side. “Liza, please. Don’t cause a problem where there is none. I’m talking to Ellie before I go to bed tonight. I’m ready for us to move forward.” He reached for her fingers and squeezed them. “If my dochder shows any disgruntlement about us, my pursuit of you will not stop. My child isn’t going to dictate what I can and cannot do in my life with regard to you and many other things.”

  “Jacob, take her home, relax, and laugh with her. Don’t confront her and upset her. You should enjoy each other after having been apart and afraid you might never lay eyes on her again. I’m not ready to forge ahead with you.”

  “You said you loved me.”

  “I do, but love isn’t enough for us. We have Ellie’s possible objection, which could prove difficult. Give me more time. Let’s enjoy what we have for now.”

  His chest heaved with a deep sigh and his gaze dropped to their hands. “I’m upset you aren’t driven like me to move ahead like a freight train to wed.”

  Her stomach churned. Her mind muddled with fear of losing him and love as deep as the sea for him, and confusion about the decision ahead of them shook her to the core. “I don’t want anything to change between us.”

  “The difference is, I do.”

  Ellie came from the back room.

  Liza dropped his hand and stepped back.

  Squinting her eyes, she skipped to her daed. “You do what?”

  Cheeks warm, Liza bustled to the back of the counter and fussed with the desserts on the top shelf to avoid Ellie.

  Jacob opened the front door. “I’ll tell you later. We should go. Have you bid everyone farewell?”

  Hannah and Esther came out and circled their arms around Ellie’s waist. Esther kissed the girl’s cheek. “You should work with us again in the bakery when you’re not caring for Peter. What do you think, Liza?”

  Liza put her hand on her hip, then crossed her arms. “Of course. We’d be thrilled to have Ellie’s help. Ellie, you don’t need to rush. You let me know when you’re ready and we’ll work out a schedule.”

  “Danki, Liza. I could work on Saturdays.” Ellie exchanged grins with Esther and Hannah.

  Hannah grinned. “Good. I’m anxious to have time with you. I’ve missed you.”

  Liza met Ellie’s gaze. “It’s settled. We go in at about five in the morning.”

  “I’m excited to work with all of you, and I’ll be on time.” Ellie dropped her gaze from Liza’s.

  Esther wrapped her fingers around Ellie’s. “We’ll make it fun.”

  Liza rubbed her own arms. Her nerves on edge, she hadn’t wanted to disappoint Hannah. She wondered if hiring Ellie had been a mistake. Her discussion with Jacob had ended awkwardly. Would they have time alone to speak again before he left? She didn’t know what else to say. Jacob’s forced smile and stiff demeanor told her he wasn’t happy with her.

  “Jacob, may I take you aside and speak with you for a minute?”

  He avoided her gaze. “Maybe tomorrow. We’d better head home.”

  Liza’s cheeks warmed. “I understand. No rush.”

  Esther gestured to Jacob. “You and Ellie take care going home. Have a good rest of the day.” She tightened her loose apron ribbons and went to the back room.

  Hannah waved as the Grabers left. She lingered. “Liza, are you nervous about something? Your voice sounded tense and you’ve got a tight grip on your arms. What’s wrong?”

  “Jacob and I had a difference of opinion and I’m conflicted about the matter.”

  “What matter?”

  “He insists on speaking with Ellie about us marrying so
metime in the future if I agree. I asked him to wait.”

  “I agree with Jacob. Why wait? You two love each other. It’s as clear as a windowpane. The man adores you. Ellie no longer leaves one foot in the outside world. She’s here to stay. She’d be blessed to have you as a mamm.” She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe you should inch your way into being a mamm and start out as her friend. Let the relationship between you grow naturally.”

  “Again, your wisdom for such a young woman is astounding. I might consider your advice, although there’s more than Ellie upsetting the apple barrel. I need time.”

  “What more could there be?”

  “Enough about this now, my sweet Hannah.”

  The door swung open and three customers strolled in. Liza greeted them. “What may I offer you ladies today?” Thankful for the interruption, she smiled at Hannah before the young woman joined her mamm in the back.

  Liza wrapped the patrons’ selections, accepted payment, and bid them farewell in time to greet and wait on the small crowd coming into the bakery. Hours later, she flipped her sign in the window and locked the door. She hoped Hannah wouldn’t tell Esther about their discussion. She’d rather ponder this herself for a while. She emptied the counter and carried what she could to the back. “Are you two ready to leave soon?”

  Esther blew a stray hair hanging from her kapp. “I am!”

  “Me too!” Hannah hung her apron on a sturdy wooden hook.

  The women tucked the filled dessert containers in the maple cabinet along the side wall in the back room and left. On the way home, Liza nodded in response to Hannah’s comments about Ellie kumming home and her enthusiasm on growing their friendship.

  Liza couldn’t concentrate on the conversation. She pictured Jacob and Ellie at home. What would Ellie’s reaction be if Jacob discussed his proposal of marriage? What would she do if Ellie was thrilled? She hadn’t freed herself from the past enough to believe she could trust any man fully for a lifetime.

  *

  Jacob scratched his ear, then adjusted his hat. He sat fully clothed on the edge of the bed and stared at the dust-free floor on Wednesday morning. He’d kept a clean haus while Ellie was away. Something she had prided herself in before she left. He’d be happy to let her take over those duties now she was back.