Liza's Second Chance

by Molly Jebber

  Her sweet smile encouraged him as he placed a platter of cookies in the center of the table and then handed small white porcelain plates to each of them. “Here you go.”

  “Ellie and Hannah, do you mind if Liza and I take ours outside?”

  Hannah glanced at Ellie. “I’ll help Ellie wash and dry the dishes. It will give us more time to catch up on our news.”

  Liza covered a yawn. “Danki, girls. Hannah, we have to head home soon.”

  Ellie darted her gaze to Jacob, then Liza. “Liza, Daed and I can take care of the dishes if you and Hannah need to leave.”

  Jacob clamped his mouth shut. He saw the hint of panic on his dochder’s face. She didn’t want him and Liza to have time alone together and was determined to prevent it from happening. He held his plate of cookies and gestured to Liza. “I’m sure she can spare a few minutes.”

  Ellie frowned and went back to the kitchen.

  Liza’s cheeks pinked. “I’ll stay a few minutes.” She hurried to the door and stepped onto the porch.

  Jacob followed her. His heart plummeted at his dochder’s obvious interference. He’d remind her to respect him and Liza. She should remember the manners Lydia and he had taught her. He abhorred her manipulative and disrespectful manner.

  He left his plate on the end table and followed Liza to the porch. “Liza, have you thought about my proposal?”

  She leaned forward and gazed into his eyes. “Jacob, I must reject it. Ellie doesn’t want us to make plans for the future. It was apparent in her hurried attempt to make it easy for me to leave tonight. I didn’t miss her glance to you first.”

  “Liza, Ellie isn’t going to prevent me from marrying you. I’m appalled with her intervention right before we came out here. I’ll not allow her to make this decision for us. You shouldn’t either.”

  “Ellie needs siblings. Her affection for Peter has proven she’d benefit from kinner.”

  “She’ll be fine without a sibling, and I’m fine too. It’s you I want, Liza. I don’t know how to convince you of this.” He waited for her to answer.

  She stood staring at her shoes.

  “Liza, your choice not to marry me frees you of having to help me parent Ellie. Is this the real reason you don’t want to become my fraa? It seems selfish.” He held up his hand in answer. “Your barrenness isn’t an issue. Are you saying you don’t want kinner even if you could conceive?”

  She shook her head and pressed a hand to her heart. “I do have reservations about becoming a parent to Ellie. I think it’s only natural because I haven’t had experience in raising kinner.” She slid her hand to her stomach. “Of course I would love to have a boppli.”

  “So the problem is parenting Ellie with me?”

  “My causing friction between you and Ellie is the problem. I’m sorry, Jacob. I’ve made my decision.” She stood and rushed inside.

  He followed her. “Liza, wait.”

  “Hannah, sweetheart, it’s time to go.” She managed a weak smile. “Ellie, danki for having us. I’ll be anxious for you to arrive on Saturday.”

  “I appreciate your job offer. Take care.”

  Liza and Hannah left, crossing the yard to the buggy.

  Jacob and Ellie walked with them. He avoided Ellie’s gaze. He didn’t have anything to say to her until Liza was gone. “Liza, Hannah, be safe going home.”

  Liza fixed her gaze straight ahead. “Danki again for supper.”

  Hannah waved to Jacob and Ellie.

  Jacob watched the buggy disappear at the end of the lane. He cringed. He’d called her selfish. He hadn’t meant it. His frustration had gotten the better of him. If Ellie didn’t ever approve of Liza, he wouldn’t regret taking her as his fraa. Ellie didn’t have any say in who he chose for a fraa. She would be blessed to have Liza care for her as a mamm.

  He whirled around to his dochder. “Ellie, I’m disappointed in you. You claim to have changed your life, yet your determination to keep Liza and me apart tonight showed you have more work to do to convince me. Don’t let it happen again. I expect you to help me prove to Liza I’m the man for her, not to do everything in your power to keep us apart. Understood?”

  “Did you propose?” She wrung her hands. “Did she turn you down?”

  “She did. And you are the reason.”

  “Maybe she doesn’t want to remarry, Daed. She appears happy working in the bakery and living alone. Taking care of a family may not appeal to her. I doubt I’m the sole reason.”

  “Don’t be coy with me. You do your best to let her know you’re opposed to our union.”

  “Daed, I was polite and included her in conversation at supper. I wasn’t rude when I suggested you and I would wash the dishes so she and Hannah could leave. I don’t deny I wasn’t overjoyed at the two of you having time alone outside. I assumed it was to plan a future with her as my new mamm.”

  “Not your new mamm until you’re ready. A friend is all I’m asking for now.”

  “I’ll be polite.”

  Polite was not what he wanted from Ellie. He wanted her to open her heart to Liza and support him in his decisions.

  Thunder rumbled in the sky. Lightning cracked, and they ran inside.

  Ellie ran to her room. “Good night, Daed.”

  He’d had a long day. Enough said on the matter of Liza and him. He was confident she’d grow to accept and love Liza given time. They’d gotten along fine until Ellie felt threatened by his attention to Liza. Ellie would most likely marry one day soon and have a family of her own. She was approaching the age where she’d start thinking about it.

  Until then, Ellie would be expected to obey his and Liza’s rules. He’d write them out, if necessary, for his dochder. Their discussion was far from over.

  Chapter Nine

  Liza blinked back tears. Her horse’s hooves pounded the mud in the rain and the buggy wheels hit ruts in the road. Her body swayed to and fro. “I’m glad we only have a short ride to your haus.”

  Hannah grabbed her arm and winced. “The lightning is fierce!”

  Crack!

  Liza winced and flicked the reins. Her horse picked up his pace. Her heart ached. The deep sadness in Jacob’s brown eyes tormented her. He’d probably never speak to her again. She wouldn’t blame him if he ended their routine chats at the bakery and pursued another woman. She’d miss his voice, the brush of his hand across her fingers, his help, his wisdom and counsel, and his selfless love.

  Hannah kept a firm grip on her arm and prattled on about Ellie working at the bakery on Saturdays. Her niece’s voice echoed in her ears and she couldn’t focus her attention on the conversation.

  She brought the horse to a halt in front of Esther’s haus. “I’m as close as I can get to the front door. I’m afraid you’ll still get drenched.”

  “We’re both wet from the rain kumming through on the sides of the buggy. I’ll race to the door to get out of the downpour. You be careful.” She quirked a brow. “What’s wrong? You’re a million miles away.”

  “It’s been a rough day.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  Liza stopped the buggy close to Hannah’s porch. “I appreciate your offer to listen. We’ll talk about it some other time. You get some rest.”

  “I wish you’d confide in me.”

  “I appreciate your concern, Hannah.” She gave Hannah’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m confused and need to sort out my thoughts. Understand?”

  Hannah kissed her cheek. “Be careful, Liza. Jacob won’t wait forever. Good night.” She got out and ran inside.

  Liza cried during the short distance home. The pelting rain seemed appropriate for her overwhelming despair. The hurt traveled through her veins and wouldn’t stop. Losing Jacob was like losing a limb. He’d been a part of her life from the day she’d met him. Their connection immediate. She was certain there would never be another man who would measure up to Jacob. She’d end up living her life devoid of a husband and kinner to share special moments, hugs, laugher,
and create memories with. Her plan to remain a widow had been simple and happy, then Jacob had swept her off her feet and she’d fallen in love. He’d given her a picture of what it could be like if she married again. Then her world shattered when she had to push him away.

  This horrible wound on her heart would never heal. The memories of his laugh, his smile, and those big brown eyes filled with love for her had seared her mind. Part of her held on to them. The other part pushed them away, to no avail. Love could be cruel. She should’ve remained true to her plan to protect herself from falling in love. It hadn’t been hard until now.

  Liza separated the horse from the buggy harness and finished securing her horse in his stall. She dragged her feet to the haus, oblivious to the steady rainfall, changed from her wet clothes into her dressing gown, and crawled into bed. She turned down her lantern and lay her head on the pillow. “Dear Heavenly Father, take this pain from me. It hurts so much. Give me the strength to get through this trial. Forgive me for causing Jacob pain. Give him peace. Danki, Heavenly Father. Amen.”

  She buried her aching head in the pillow and wept. Ellie could relax and befriend her now without any threat she’d marry Jacob. Liza knew it was the right thing to do. She’d be helping Jacob much better by taking this approach. If she married him, the tension would rip the three of them apart. Now he had a chance to rebuild a close relationship with his dochder since her mamm’s death. An unexpected blessing she wouldn’t ruin for him.

  *

  Liza listened to Hannah and Ellie whisper and giggle Saturday morning. This was the second Saturday Ellie had worked at the bakery. June first already. May had brought unusually warmer temperatures and the flowers she’d planted were already blooming. She couldn’t wait for the temperatures to get hotter this month. The young woman had been a joy to have around. She worked hard, had a cheerful disposition, and made them all laugh, telling stories about young Peter while under her care. Ellie shared Jacob had put the twins who robbed the bakery to work, and they had been polite and obeyed him. She’d been surprised.

  Liza was grateful to Jacob for all he’d done for her. He’d left after the last church service on May nineteenth, claiming to have a headache, according to Abe. He’d talked to the men and had given her a nod and a faint smile before he departed. She envisioned running after him like a bumbling fool, not knowing what to say if she caught up with him.

  She’d missed him again this week. Yesterday was their Sunday off from a church service, and she had hoped he’d stop by. It’d been over two weeks since they’d had their disagreement.

  Hannah interrupted her thoughts. “Liza, Mae has been offered a job by two wealthy Englischers she met while working at Maybelle’s Inn. The women want her to do their laundry, mend their garments, and bake for them. They’ll drop the garments off to her and pick them up at her haus. She’s thrilled to stay home with Peter and earn money at the same time.”

  “I’m so happy for her and for Peter.”

  Ellie sighed. “I’ll be out of a job. I’ll miss my time with him.”

  “Liza, would you hire Ellie to work here during the week?”

  Esther clapped the flour off her hands and wiped them on her apron. “Before you answer, Liza, I have something to tell you.”

  Liza whirled around. Esther’s serious expression was hard to read. Something about it made her heart race. “Should I be worried?”

  Hannah winced. “Mamm, what is it?”

  Ellie stood silent.

  “Abe’s knees are bothering him more and more. Dr. Harrison told him there’s not much he can do. He has the men do the heavy lifting and hard labor under his direction. He takes care of the bills, supplies, and bookkeeping. I could do it for him if I wasn’t working here. Ellie’s timing couldn’t be better. She’s proven she’s capable and dependable.”

  Liza raised her hand to subvert Esther’s decision. “I could hire someone to keep the financial records.” She’d lost Jacob and now she’d miss her schweschder helping her at the bakery. They had time to chat and bake at the same time.

  Esther patted Liza’s arm. “Abe chooses to keep your and our property maintenance income and expenses private. He prefers he or I handle the money side of things. You understand.”

  “I do.” It wouldn’t make not having her there any easier, though. “I love you, dear schweschder. I will miss having you here.”

  Esther dabbed her eyes with the corner of her flour-dusted apron. “I’ve put off this decision for months. I have a good time with you and Hannah, and now Ellie. I’m available when you need help in a pinch.”

  Hannah shot her mamm a worried look. “I’ll miss baking side by side. Should Liza find someone to take my place? I could help you and Daed.”

  Esther shook her head. “I’m all the assistance he needs, dear. You are good to do chores for us when you’re home. We’ll be fine. You stay and help Liza and grow your friendship with Ellie. It warms my heart to watch the two of you have fun working together.” She darted her eyes from Liza to Ellie. “Both of you must promise me you’ll visit often or I’ll be hurt.”

  Ellie kissed Esther’s cheek. “I promise.”

  Liza blinked back tears. “I do too.” She tilted her head to Ellie. “Are you interested? Monday through Saturday from five until five will be quite a change.” She would take a chance on the young woman. Ellie had been known to run away on a whim. A replacement on short notice would put her and Hannah in a bind. Would Ellie let her down? She’d give her the benefit of the doubt.

  “I am happy to accept the job.” Ellie wrinkled her nose. “I’ve got big shoes to fill, taking Esther’s place. I’m more worried about letting you down than the increase in days or hours.”

  “I’m confident you’ll do an excellent job. I’m already impressed with what you’ve done since joining us.” Liza winked at her. “When can you start?”

  “Right away!”

  Esther grinned. “Then this will be my last day. Abe will probably cook me supper tonight, he’ll be so happy. I told him I would ask you to find someone to replace me soon. I don’t imagine he thought I’d ever really follow through on it.”

  Liza and the girls circled Esther in a hug.

  Ellie squeezed Esther’s arm. “Kumme in to see us. I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll expect you to visit often!” Esther caressed Ellie’s cheek.

  Hannah smiled. “Daed will be happy. I’m glad for you both. I’m blessed to have parents still so much in love.”

  Hannah took Ellie’s hand in hers and swung them back and forth. “We’ve got pastries to create and bake.”

  Ellie grinned. “I’ll take Hannah home after we close, Esther. You go ahead and tell Abe your news.”

  “Danki, sweetheart. I’ll take you up on your offer. Tell your daed to visit us, Ellie. I promise to feed him. Abe enjoys Jacob’s company.”

  “I’ll tell him.”

  “Hannah, will you stay at the counter for customers. I’d like Liza to walk me out.”

  “I’d be glad to, Mamm.”

  Liza and Esther walked to the livery. “I’m sad about you making this decision. At the same time, I love you for it. You’re doing me a favor as well as Abe, taking care of the money.”

  “I have something else on my mind and it’s Jacob. Hannah said she thought something happened between you and him while she was at their home for supper last time. She said you didn’t want to talk about it.” Esther gave her a hard stare. “I’ve waited a week for you to mention it to me to give you time to sort out whatever it is. I won’t wait another minute. Why hasn’t Jacob been to the bakery? He was kumming in quite often. Why didn’t the two of you talk Sunday at the after-service meal?”

  Liza cast her eyes on the livery door in front of them. She’d delayed this conversation for as long as she could. She had to tell Esther something. Her schweschder deserved an answer to her questions. She would’ve expected an explanation since they had shared so much since she and Jacob had fallen in love. “He a
sked me to marry him, and he wanted an answer. I told him no. My answer left things awkward between us.”

  “Why did you decline his proposal?”

  “I’m convinced if I marry Jacob, it will ruin his chance of rebuilding the kind of relationship he desires with Ellie. She’ll resent him for bringing me into their home. He wanted to talk to me in private after supper at their home the evening Hannah and I were there. Ellie piped up and said she and her daed would do the dishes if I needed to leave. I did want to leave to avoid talking to Jacob. I wasn’t ready to tell him no yet. She didn’t know that. It was obvious she would do anything in her power to break us apart.”

  “You’re basing your future lifetime on one incident. Is Ellie’s opinion about you a concern for him?”

  She shook her head. “He’s the head of the haus, and he said he’d require her to treat me with respect.”

  “Then you’re being foolish not to accept his proposal. He’s so smitten with you, he’d drink your bathwater.”

  Liza laughed and leaned into her. “You kumme up with the funniest and most disgusting analogies.”

  “I get them from Abe. He makes me cry, I laugh so hard.” Esther pointed her finger in Liza’s chest. “You’ll not change this conversation, my dear. Give me a better reason why you’re not planning a wedding with Jacob.”

  “He didn’t know if he’d ever see Ellie again. She’s back and she’s turned her life back to God. He can rebuild their relationship. One with the sweet dochder he’s longed for and not the rebellious one he’s been raising since his fraa’s passing. I won’t rob him of that.”

  “Ellie will grow to love you while working at the bakery. You two will have plenty of time to establish a healthy relationship.”

  Liza lifted her shoulders and clasped her hands together. “Because I’m not marrying her daed, she’ll relax and trust me. We’ll have a friendship and I’ll help her as much as she’ll let me, in turn, help Jacob. It’s the best I can do for him now. Our other problem is that I’m barren.”

  “Knowing Jacob, I’m sure he’s happy with Ellie. He doesn’t need another child. Liza, these are excuses to protect yourself from changing your life. Jacob won’t treat you like Paul did. I’m certain of that. They aren’t the same men. Granted, I never thought Paul would treat you the way he did, blaming you for not having his child and belittling you. Jacob hasn’t an arrogant bone in his body. He’s not shied away from helping you with so many things already. Don’t lose him and leave a permanent hole in your heart only he can fill.”