Mr. Right

by J. S. Cooper

  “Alyssa.” I rolled my eyes and then looked down at her in her red dress. “Are you wearing any panties?” I asked her incredulously.

  “Haha, you have to ask?” She started laughing. “Amateur.”

  “Why are you wearing no panties, Alyssa?” I asked her, not sure why I was feeling shocked.

  “Because I’m hoping tonight is going to be a lucky night for me.”

  “A lucky night?” I repeated.

  “Who knows, right? I mean, you never know. Pierce is hot and you’ve already said that his one friend is hot, right?”

  “Evan?” My stomach started churning. Was she going to try and hookup with Evan?

  “Yeah, so if he has one hot friend, I’m sure he’s got others. Hot guys run in posses.” She stuck her tongue out at me and my stomach sank. Was she really talking about other guys or was she thinking of Evan? Had I played him up too much? Oh, my God, what was I going to do if Alyssa and Evan hooked up? I could feel the jealousy in my stomach already. I wasn’t sure why I was feeling so uncomfortable already. It wasn’t like Evan and I had anything. And I knew he wouldn’t turn down Alyssa. I mean, what guy would? She was gorgeous. And she wasn’t wearing any panties. She didn’t play games. If a guy wanted to get laid, she would be down. And I knew she would be down for Evan. Who wouldn’t be down for Evan? He was hot as hell.

  “Uhm, sure,” I said weakly, wondering if it had been such a good idea to invite Alyssa after all.

  If she ended up hooking up with Evan, I was going to be very upset. Upset and pissed. I wasn’t sure I’d be so upset if she hooked up with Pierce, and I wasn’t sure what that said about me. I had a feeling that the night was going to be a hot mess and I wasn’t sure how I was going to prevent that from happening.

  “You don’t mind if I hookup with one of his friends, do you? That won’t be awkward, will it?”

  “You can do what you want, Alyssa.” I shrugged. “You’re your own woman.”

  “Jess.” She paused and grabbed my shoulders. “What’s going on? Your face looks like you want to kill me.”

  “I don’t want to kill you.” I glared at her. “What are you talking about?”

  “Jess. I know you better than you know yourself. You’re my best friend.” Alyssa sighed. “And right now, I can tell that you’re not happy.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Jess, tell me what’s going on.”

  “Nothing is going on.”

  “We’re not leaving this house until you tell me what’s going on.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the couch. “What’s wrong?”

  “Alyssa, there’s nothing wrong.” I sighed as I sat down and closed my eyes. “Nothing.”

  “That sure didn’t sound like nothing.” Her voice was soft. “Talk to me, Jess.”

  “Alyssa, I just don’t know what to think or feel anymore. I feel like I’m obsessed or bewitched or something and it makes no sense.”

  “Bewitched by what?” She frowned.

  “Evan,” I said softly, not wanting to admit it to her, not even wanting to admit it to myself.

  “Pierce’s friend?” She blinked at me. “You really like him, huh?”

  “I don’t know him well enough to say I like him.” I sighed. “I don’t know what it is, I don’t know why I feel this way. I just can’t stop thinking about him and wondering what it would be like to be with him.”

  “Be with him?” Her eyes widened. “As in a sexual nature?”

  “Yes, Alyssa.” I laughed. “As in a sexual nature.” I groaned. “Oh, my God, I suck. What’s my problem?”

  “I think you can’t help who you’re interested in and this Evan seems like quite the guy.”

  “Ugh, he’s not a good guy. He seems like a player.” I groaned. “And I just don’t know why I’m so attracted to him. It’s not as if Pierce isn’t attractive as well.”

  “But if you’re not as attracted to him…”

  “Ugh, I don’t even know. What the hell am I doing?” I buried my face in my hands. “I really suck. This really sucks. I don’t even want to go tonight. You know his mom is going to be there and seems to think we have some sort of serious relationship. And what if his dad is there as well? What if they think we’re really tight and then they see me with Evan, and he tries to flirt or touch me or something?”

  “Do you want me to flirt with Evan, then? Distract him?”

  “No,” I almost shouted, and her eyes widened.

  “Oh, shit, you’re really into this Evan, aren’t you?”

  “It’s a mess.” I nodded and groaned again. “What am I going to do?”

  “Ignore him as best as you can.” She laughed. “And I will do the same.”

  “Oh, Alyssa, what am I doing? And how did I get so lucky to get a best friend like you?”

  “You have a best friend like me because you’re awesome.”

  “I know.” I grinned at her. “But you’re even more awesome.”

  “Is there such a thing?” She winked at me and we both started laughing.

  “I don’t know. Perhaps?” I giggled and grabbed her hands. “Thanks for making me feel better about all of this. I feel like a fool for being jealous of you possibly flirting with Evan. What’s wrong with me?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with you,” she said, and we both knew that was only partially true. I have to admit that I’m not quite as innocent as I would lead you to believe. I am mean in real life—I am. It’s hard not to be if you’re as shy and insecure as I am. Alyssa doesn’t always believe me when I say I feel uncomfortable in those types of situations. I think it’s because on the outside I pretend I’m more confident than I am. I can fake it quite well. That’s because I don’t want to be a sad case. My parents raised me to be strong. My dad was in the Army and so he was pretty closed off, and my mom… well, she just wasn’t very good with expressing feelings. So I grew up keeping everything inside. And when I say everything, I mean everything: feelings, emotions, wants, needs. Some might say I’m sexually repressed. I’ve always had fantasies and thoughts about different things and scenarios I’d like to be in, but I’ve never acted on them. I certainly never thought any of them would come true. And I can’t say that I’ve ever wanted to sleep with a boyfriend’s friend before. Especially one like Evan. I think though, that Evan was the only sort of guy I would ever really find myself in such a situation with. The things I despised about him were the things that drew me to him. He was condescending, rude, egotistical, narcissistic—everything I didn’t want in a man. And it wasn’t as if he wanted me for anything real. But there was something about him that drew me to him and it wasn’t just his looks. I can’t even really explain it. But it was the very things that turned me off of him that drew me to him. I’d always found myself attracted to the guys that I shouldn’t have or want. There was something about getting attention from bad boys that made me feel more alive than at other times. It was like my body craved the unknown, the dark, the devious. I can’t even explain it. It’s not what I want in a relationship. It’s not what I want in a romance, yet I can’t stop myself.

  “We both know I’ve got issues.”

  “We’ve all got issues.” She looked me in the eyes. “Don’t think that your issues define you or that you can’t get over them.”

  “I just don’t want to be this person, Alyssa. I don’t want to keep seeking out these guys who aren’t good for me. It’s not healthy and I just don’t want to keep going down this road.”

  “Jess…” Alyssa gave me a small smile. “Let’s be real here. You didn’t seek out Evan. In fact, you’re not even dating Evan. I wouldn’t be so down on yourself.”

  “You don’t think I’m crazy for feeling jealous that you might hookup with him tonight at a birthday party for a different guy I’m meant to be dating?”

  “How do you want me to answer that?” She laughed. “Yes? No? I don’t know this Evan, but I know what it’s like to be irrationally jealous. Maybe not this exact situation, but I’ve been in
similar situations that are crazy.”

  “Should I break up with Pierce?” I asked her, wanting her to tell me what to do. Then I groaned. “Is it crazy that I don’t even feel like I’m actually dating him?”

  “Well, I’ve never heard of a boyfriend and a girlfriend not having sex.” Alyssa grinned at me wickedly. “But what do I know?”

  “Nothing.” I laughed. “Absolutely nothing.”

  “Exactly.” She laughed. “Let’s go and have fun. And if you end up breaking up with Pierce tonight, then who cares? Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t want to be with.” Her expression changed and she looked at me seriously. She grabbed my hands and then took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m going to be serious here for a few seconds.”

  “Uh-oh.” I made a face and giggled, but her expression didn’t change.

  “I want to tell you something,” she said and continued looking into my eyes. “Seriously now.”

  “Serious?” My stomach churned. “Am I going to cry?”

  “You’d better not.” She shook her head and took a deep breath. “We’ve been best friends for a long time, Jess. And I know you better than I think anyone does, and you know me better than I think anyone does, and we’re always here for each other. I know—and let me speak before you try and interrupt me—I know that your dad has kinda messed with how you react and deal with men. I know because my dad was unemotional too and that has affected me as well, but in a different way. I know we have our issues, emotional, and sensitive and hard to understand. But I want you to know how special you are and how you’re one of the best people I know. You’re seriously one of the best people I know and I hate to see you in such self-doubt. You think about others so much and always before yourself, but sometimes you need to think of yourself first. Seriously, you can’t always avoid hurting someone in life. That’s just how life goes. And guys… well, guys are complicated. Life is complicated. Love is complicated. That’s just how it goes. And it’s complicated for all of us. Don’t beat yourself up. No matter what happens. You’re great and no matter what happens, I will always be here for you. I will always have your back. You do what you need to do. I don’t care if it’s something crazy, something scandalous, something that you’ll look back on in ten years and say ‘oh, my God.’ I will always be here for you. I’m your ride or die. I will always love you. I will always have your back. You can always tell me anything. Anything. If you fucking kill someone, you can tell me. I will always be here for you. Through boyfriends, husbands, kids, grandkids, through frigging death, you hear me? I will always be your best friend. You can always tell me anything.” She squeezed my hands. “Don’t ever doubt yourself or worry about what you’re thinking or feeling. Or ever doubt you can tell me anything. You hear me?” She took a deep breath. “Wow, that was a lot.” She looked me in the eyes. “But I hope it all came through.”

  “I love you, Alyssa.” I bit down on my lower lip. “You know what to say to make me feel better, every single time. How do you know how to do that?”

  “’Cause I’m your platonic soul mate.” She gave me a small smile. “And you’ve been there for me so many times in the past. And you’ve always known how to make me feel better. I want you to know that you don’t always have to be the rock. I can be the rock as well. I can be your rock. I’m your rock.”

  “I know, girl. You’re my rock.”

  “I’m solid as a rock.” She laughed.

  “Solid as a rock,” I sang and she sang along with me. “Solid as a rock.”

  “Let’s do this,” I said and jumped up. “Let’s go and get drunk and just have a great night. We got this.”

  “You sure? We don’t have to go.”

  “Don’t you want to see Evan? The guy who has me in knots? Who I barely even know?”

  “Are you joking?” She laughed. “I’ve been dying to see Evan since you started talking about him.”

  “Haha, I bet. Let’s have some shots before we go. I think I need to show up a little buzzed.”

  “I thought you’d never suggest them.” She grinned. “Vodka or tequila?”

  “Both.” I grinned back at her. “We need to get super drunk. Well, not super drunk, but I can’t show up sober.”

  “Me either.” She laughed. “I won’t be on top of my game if I’m sober.”

  “You’re always on top of your game.” I laughed.

  “That’s true.” She nodded. “That’s one of my talents. I had to have one.”

  “You have more than one.”

  “Yeah, true. The other one is making badass shots,” she said as she poured a healthy dose of alcohol into two regular glasses.”

  “Alyssa, those are not shot glasses.”

  “Oops,” she said with a giggle and passed me a glass. “Let’s get drunk, baby.”

  “Here’s to bad decisions.” I giggled too as I sipped the vodka. “Oh, my God, what am I saying?”

  “What we’re both thinking,” she said with a smile. “Bad decisions and regrets in the morning.”

  “I don’t want any regrets in the morning,” I said and then winked at her. “Well, there’s one regret I wouldn’t mind.”

  “Oh, Jess.” She laughed. “Tonight is going to be interesting.”

  “Yeah, it will be.” I laughed. “Oh, my God, what am I saying?”

  “It doesn’t matter what you say, it’s all about what you do. Or who you do.” She sipped her vodka. “And I have a feeling you’ll be doing someone tonight.”

  “Alyssa!” I gasped.

  “What?” She said with a wink.

  “There’s no way,” I said. But of course she was right. Alyssa was always right. I mean, it wasn’t like I didn’t kind of see it coming. I knew I had to make a decision. I just didn’t think it would go down as it did. I mean, who really expects for crazy to be that crazy? I certainly didn’t expect my crazy to be so crazy. I mean, there’s crazy and then there is crazy with a capital C. I didn’t expect my crazy to be Guinness World Records crazy. I should have known, though. My gut told me that there was something slightly off in the whole situation. I just couldn’t have known how off everything was.

  Chapter 9

  Jess

  There’s a moment in life that’s the pivotal moment. Some might say that there are many pivotal moments. Some may say that, but I believe that there is one pivotal moment that’s more important than all the other moments. One moment that will impact your life forever. It sounds kind of crazy, if you think about it. One moment that can change everything in your life. One moment that can mean your life is going to go in one direction or another. The craziest part is that you never know when you’re going to have that moment. There are many moments that seem like they might be that moment. There are moments that seem like they might be big in the grand scheme of things, but then they happen and they just aren’t as big as you thought they were going to be. However, this moment, this moment in my life is crazy big and not in the way you would have imagined.

  Alyssa and I arrived at Pierce’s place about an hour after the party had started. I think that he’d been slightly upset that I wasn’t there when the party had started, but I really hadn’t wanted to be there right at the beginning. I didn’t want to be greeting his friends and family like we were something really special. I mean, I knew I had to be a good girlfriend, but I also couldn't pretend we were in a place that we weren’t in. Normally it was the girl who was trying to push things too fast, but it seemed to me that Pierce was acting like the girl, and it had unnerved me. I wasn’t sure why he’d grown so attached to me so quickly. And part of me could only assume it was because of the challenge I presented to him. The no-sex thing was obviously getting to him. The funny part was that I wasn’t holding out on him because I wanted him to be more serious about me. This wasn’t a game. A part of me thought I should just sleep with him and then see what happened. I was pretty sure that he’d be done with me faster than I could blink if I slept with him and, surprisingly, that didn’t have me
worried or concerned.

  “Mom, I want you to meet Jess,” Pierce said, introducing me to his mother confidently, and her adoring look at him and the benevolent look at me told me all I needed to know. Pierce was a momma’s boy, which I wouldn’t have guessed, at least based on our first meeting. Actually, I never would have guessed at any facets of his personality based on our first meeting. I guess first impressions aren’t always what they seem.

  “So nice to meet you, Jess.” His mom gazed at me with a huge smile and then went in for a hug, which I wasn’t expecting. I gave her a small hug back and she just looked me over.

  “You’re even prettier in person than I thought you’d be.” She gave me an approving nod and then looked at Pierce. “I knew you’d make a good decision when you finally decided on a serious girlfriend.”

  I have to admit that my heart started thudding then and not in a good way. The only reason why I didn’t just straight up leave the party then was because: 1. I was already drunk; 2. It looked like Alyssa was having fun; and 3. I was still hoping to see Evan. And yes, I was casually looking around the apartment to see if I could see him, even as Pierce’s mom was grinning at me. Yes, I suck. I don’t deny that. I really and truly suck. Pierce deserved someone better than me; though if I’m honest, our relationship wasn’t really built on anything. Technically, we didn’t even really have a real relationship. I don’t know if I’m just trying to make excuses or what, but I seriously don’t think we are that serious. Especially for the way his mom was going on. It just seemed kind of off to me. But, yeah, I knew that something was off before the party, so I should have said something before it all went down. But we both know that I didn’t say anything, so the fallout that came was really all my fault.

  I knew as soon as Evan entered the apartment. The air changed and I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck rising. I hadn’t even seen him, or heard him. I just knew he was there. It was some sort of sixth sense. I guess you could call it my Evan-sense. My Evan-sense was in full swing that night. And, boy, was it a night. It was the night that changed everything.