Jaguar

by C. A. Gray

  “Sorry. Here I am moping, and yet you’re the one with the hardest job of all,” she murmured. “How are you holding up?”

  “Fine,” I lied. The truth was, now that I’d gotten past the confrontation with Liam, I was terrified. But there was no point in saying so. “Actually, I was hoping I could pick your brain a little bit. You’re the empathy queen—if you were in my shoes, how would you approach Jaguar?”

  “I wouldn’t,” she said at once with a short laugh.

  “But if you had to?”

  “Well…” She pursed her lips, and a shadow crossed her face. “What would you want, if you were her? That’s what I always ask myself.”

  I thought about this. When I considered Jaguar’s “other-ness,” how very far beyond any other creature she was than anyone I’d ever met, she seemed incomprehensible. And yet, if I stripped away everything I didn’t understand about her, and just put myself in her shoes…

  “I’d want a friend,” I said finally. “A real one, though. Not someone who was only nice to me because they were afraid of me.” I shook my head. “But since all our lives actually do hang in the balance, and since we’re going there to kill her, I somehow doubt I can fit that bill. I’m not that much of a hypocrite.”

  “But you’re an actress,” Val pointed out. “And I’ve seen you—you become your characters. That’s what you have to do. Become her equal, one who isn’t afraid. Become her friend.”

  I let out a heavy breath through pursed lips. “Highest stakes role I’ve ever played, that’s for sure. Even including the role of Candy the Pendergast Nurse.”

  “And you pulled that off beautifully, I’m told.” Val took my hands in hers again, meeting my eyes with her fierce hazel ones. “You can do this, Becca.”

  Impulsively, I hugged her. She squeezed me back, tight. When we pulled away, both of us brushed away tears. Trying to end on a lighter note, I added, “So what’s up with you and Nilesh, anyway?”

  “Oh!” Val giggled, and waved her hand dismissively. “Nothing, really.”

  “No?” I raised an eyebrow. “He pays a lot of attention to you.”

  She shrugged, but she was obviously at least a little pleased. “Does he?” She tucked a lock of light brown hair behind one ear. “I’d thought when we were at the other compound that he liked Larissa, but I guess not. We talked a lot on the way back here from London. Did you know that he used to tutor underprivileged kids in math back in Dublin?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “No, I didn’t know that.” The truth was, I purposely hadn’t been close to anybody from the lab when we were back in Dublin—including Liam. I kicked myself for my foolish judgments now.

  Val nodded. “We actually have a lot in common. I asked him about what he wants—you know, in life, after all of this is over, if we ever have that option. He said he just wants simple things: he wants to coach football for his kids, take them to the park, come home to a hot meal, give back to his community. No grandiose dreams of ‘changing the world’ or anything.” She raised her eyebrows at me knowingly, and I laughed, knowing that this was in contrast to Liam. “And he’s not constantly raving about technical things that I can’t understand. He doesn’t make me feel like I’m boring him, or like I can’t keep up. It’s like—” she blushed as she confessed, “It’s like he hangs on my every word. He makes me feel… captivating.”

  I smiled. “That’s how it’s supposed to feel.”

  Val smiled back and squeezed my hand. “You see. If you and I can become friends, you can handle Jaguar.”

  I gave a short laugh. “That’s only because Cathy was right,” I told her. “You are an angel.”

  I somehow managed to get two hours of sleep before Madeline, functioning as my alarm clock, shook me awake.

  “It’s two in the morning,” she whispered. “Time to get up.”

  We weren’t actually leaving until three, but I intended to help stock the hovercraft with supplies, and possibly make breakfast. Instead, as I walked to where the hovercraft was parked, I ran into Mom sitting on the docks by herself in the dark, clutching a cup of coffee.

  “It’s all packed,” she said without looking at me. The breeze rustled her hair, and her expression was almost peaceful—but in a depleted sort of way, like she was all cried out. She still didn’t look at me as I approached and sat down beside her.

  I bit my lip, waiting for another eruption that didn’t come. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Mom? Please say something. Anything.”

  She looked at me at last, and said, “If anything happens to you, and Liam Senior survives, I swear to you, I will kill him with my bare hands.”

  I blinked, and forced an awkward laugh. “Well. Better than silence, I guess…”

  “You think I’m joking?” she raised her eyebrows at me. But then she relented with a long, shuddering breath. “The truth is, he’s right. I hate him for it, but he’s right. You are the best person for the job. And as the Renegades’ leader, I should be willing to put my own feelings aside, and make the best decision for the team. But you know what? I’m not.”

  I scooted closer to her, and lay my head on her shoulder. Mom looped an arm around me.

  “Your dad would be proud,” she choked, and I could hear in her voice that she was crying again. So I’d been wrong—she wasn’t cried out after all. Her tears, and her words, provoked my own, and we clung to each other, listening to the waves.

  We all boarded the hovercraft in darkness and silence less than an hour later. I tried not to think that it was for the last time—but that conclusion seemed fairly inescapable. Liam and I settled into two seats by a window, with Madeline powered down at my feet. I tried to fall asleep in his arms after takeoff, knowing I still needed it. But instead, I ended up staring out at the dark sky, and then at the early streaks of morning sunrise. When we were about half an hour out, Mack roused me, bearing a tray of what looked like putty.

  “Your prosthetic makeup,” he murmured. “Your mom told me to print some before we left. I don’t think it will matter for the rest of us, but we definitely don’t want the Kelly boys to be recognized in General Specs right away. It’ll cause too much of a stir.”

  “Oh,” I blinked. “Right. Of course.”

  Liam was still asleep, so I decided not to wake him just yet. Instead, I slipped out from under his arm and crossed the hovercraft to where his father sat, eyes open, staring out across the pink clouds—just like I had been. Cathy slept beside him, but he looked lost in thought.

  “Sir?” I cleared my throat, and held up the tray. “I… suspect if you just walk into General Specs looking like you, you might get mobbed. I’m gonna change your face, if you don’t mind.”

  He knit his brow for a moment, confused, and then his expression cleared. “That’s why you looked so different when I first met you,” he guessed.

  I nodded, and sat down beside him, deciding at once to alter his features in the same way I’d altered Liam’s before: bigger nose, heavier brow, cleft chin. Their facial structures were so similar.

  The silence that stretched between us as I worked grew awkward. Under any other circumstances, I’d have tried to make light conversation—particularly with a man to whom I might someday wish to be considered family. But Senior was so stiff and formal, and I just hadn’t the energy.

  “Where’d you learn to do this?” he muttered at last.

  “Theater,” I told him. “Lots of theater.”

  He grunted at this—disapprovingly, I thought. I smiled as I remembered what Liam had told me when I’d discovered how talented he was: he said he’d never even tried acting before because his father would never, ever approve. Then I thought of how Liam Senior’s estrangement from both his sons also began over issues of his approval—or lack thereof. I glanced at Cathy: his ex-wife who clearly still cared for him, but had left him because of his infidelity with a younger and more attractive woman.

  This man’s life wa
s littered with broken relationships. He was a hard man to satisfy.

  Once again, under any other circumstances, I’d have kept my thoughts to myself. But today, this might be particularly relevant.

  “Sir, do you ever tell your employees that they’ve done a good job?”

  He blinked, affronted. “Excuse me?”

  “Pardon my impertinence—I’m going somewhere with this, I promise. Do you ever offer praise where praise is due?”

  Balking, Senior groped for words. “I—give bonuses. When they’re earned.”

  “That’s not the same, Sir.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me frostily. “And just what is your point, Ms. Cordeaux?”

  I stopped sculpting his nose for a moment, and met his gaze frankly—this man was so far my superior that our paths never should have even crossed. “We need to distract Jaguar enough for Rick to get a clear shot, and the only weapon we have to do that are her emotions. My best guess, from both looking at the robopsych evals, and from my own intuition, is that the one thing Jaguar wants more than anything else is for you to be proud of her.”

  “Proud of her?” he scoffed. “She’s a monster!”

  “Maybe she’s a monster because she’s never had any of her emotional needs met. Sir, you are the one who insisted I come with you to help with negotiations. If you really want my help, please at least consider what I’m saying.”

  He regarded me for a moment, as if trying to decide what to make of me. “I’m not sure how I can praise her without sounding disingenuous,” he muttered at last, “particularly since I’m only doing it so that I can shoot her.”

  That nagging twinge of pity, or guilt, or whatever it was, blossomed in my chest. “That does put a damper on your relationship,” I agreed. “But I wonder… if maybe we can develop some sort of signal with Rick, to tell him not to shoot? Just in case.”

  Senior rolled his eyes. “‘Just in case’ what? In case Jaguar decides to become your new best friend?”

  “Look, I know, I haven’t met her—”

  “If you had, you wouldn’t be so damn naive, that’s for sure. She’s not warm and cuddly like your little robot friend over there, so get that idea out of your head, right now.” He gestured at Madeline, powered down by Liam’s side.

  “All right, fine. Maybe our only hope is to put a bullet through her—”

  “Maybe?” Senior echoed.

  “But I still think stroking her ego is the only way to get her to drop her guard.”

  “Then maybe you should tell her how great she is,” Senior muttered, “I’m sure you can do it a lot more believably than I can.”

  “She wants to hear it from you!”

  “Why?”

  “Because she thinks you’re her father!”

  We stared at each other for a long moment, before Senior shook his head. “That’s absurd.”

  “I think it’s true,” I insisted, rather surprised at my own gumption. “I think you need to tell Jaguar you’re proud of her. Tell her there’s never been another like her, and she can’t be replaced. Think of—” I stopped, wondering if I was pushing too far, but I was all in now. “Think of all the things you wished you’d said to your sons, five years ago. Pretend she’s them. That’s what you should tell her.”

  Senior looked as if I’d struck him. I took that as my cue: I’d finished his makeup anyway. Without another word, I rose to return to Liam.

  I started on Liam’s makeup while he still slept, my hand trembling a bit from the confrontation. He stirred under my touch, and blinked his eyes open. Blue like sea glass, I thought, as I tried to give him a brave smile.

  “Hey,” he croaked.

  “Hey,” I whispered back. “Don’t mind me, I’m just giving you a fake face.”

  He smiled just a little, but his expression sank back into despair as I worked.

  “Please don’t look like that,” I whispered. “This is going to work.”

  He shook his head at me, as if I were an incorrigible child. “I love you, Bec.”

  “I love you too, but stop saying goodbye,” I chided him. “We can do this. Quit moping and get your head in the game.”

  He broke into an actual grin at that, and leaned forward to kiss the tip of my nose. “Okay, M.”

  I grinned back, glancing toward the front of the hovercraft, where the real M and Mack were in the cockpit together. “I can’t help it. It’s in my blood.”

  I finished Liam’s makeup just before we began our descent. Larissa jumped up and down in the aisle, shaking out her limbs as if she were about to participate in some kind of athletic competition.

  When we were just about to touch down, Liam Senior approached Liam and me. I noticed that his gaze lingered on his son for a moment, his expression uncertain, before he reached down a hand to help me up. I interpreted the gesture as a truce.

  “Ready?” he asked me.

  I shrugged, and tried to look brave. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  Chapter 39: Rebecca

  Military bots protected the airspace over General Specs. Senior told us that as soon as we came within range, they would initiate radio contact and demand an authorization code, or instruct us to fly around the protected area, or else they would shoot us down. His own authorization code would likely have been dismantled upon news of his death, so he had created a new one with his bogus security clearance. The pilot bot announced both the code, and the fake but highly important General Specs employee to whom it belonged.

  With this, we landed the hovercraft on the roof of the General Specs parking garage. No need for secrecy at this point—Jaguar was hopefully so distracted by all her misinformation that she wouldn’t see us coming. And if she did, well—there wasn’t much we could do about it. Mack, Mom, Giovanni, and Larissa were tasked with clearing the remaining employees from General Specs. Senior had decided the easiest approach was just to revoke access to the General Specs Innovation Park entirely to nearly all employees, and reassign access of a few to our team, as needed. Mom, Mack, Giovanni, and Larissa each took on the identities of multiple General Specs employees, giving them access to every building on the property. Just in case.

  Val, Nilesh, Cathy, Dr Yin, and Dr. St Peters would station themselves around the perimeter of the General Specs Innovation Park, warning employees and visitors attempting to enter to keep their distance. They were to tell them that General Specs was under cyberattack, and given recent events (i.e. the AMDr attack against the Capitol building, and Senior’s mysterious death,) they had reason to believe that General Specs might also be targeted and was currently unsafe.

  As for Liam, his father, Rick, Francis and I: using the credentials of an absent employee, we would enter directly through a side building, equidistant from the cache of detonators and Jaguar’s inner chamber.

  Fortunately, all of us seemed so nervous that there were virtually no tears as we said goodbye, except on Val’s and Cathy’s parts. Mom barely looked at me, for which I was grateful. I couldn’t bear it either.

  The goodbyes over, the remaining four of us approached our target building across the grassy lawn in plain view. I held Liam’s hand for as long as I still could, and he gripped mine in return. Senior offered his thumb to the exterior door, and with a whoosh of air, it swung open.

  The door admitted us into a hallway, where Liam and Francis would go left, while Senior, Rick and I would go right. Heedless of the cameras and of our audience, Liam pulled me in and crushed his lips against mine.

  “Ugh, could you spare us, please?” Francis protested, but there was an uncharacteristic edge to his voice. In response, Liam released me. Then he hugged Rick, and stuck out a hand to his father, who shook it, his expression unreadable. Then Senior shook Francis’s hand as well.

  “Good luck to both of you,” said Liam Senior stiffly. Then he placed a hand on my upper back and led me away. I turned around to watch Liam go, and found him lingering to watch me also, as Francis tug
ged at him impatiently. But then Liam Senior, Rick and I rounded a corner, and they disappeared from view.

  Rick, who had studied plans of General Specs in the hours before our departure, diverged from us and headed for the nearest elevator. All I knew was that he’d planned to climb up the elevator shaft, which would connect with the ventilation system. He would crawl to just outside of Jaguar’s chamber and wait until he heard our voices. Rick was as silent as a two hundred pound man could possibly be, but there would likely be some noise as he crept close enough to the vents in Jaguar’s room to get a clear shot—so Senior told him to wait until it was clear that all Jaguar’s attention was on us before he got into position. Just in case something went wrong, though, Senior and I were both armed also—but I really hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

  Rick gave us a little salute, and we kept walking, giving him a nod of acknowledgement.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Senior hissed to me under his breath as soon as we were alone. “You thought that I should have bid my sons a more eloquent goodbye. I’m sorry. That is not my way.”

  “Well, maybe you should make it ‘your way’ in the next few minutes, because our success or failure might depend upon your ability to break character!” I shot back, surprising even myself.

  Senior’s step faltered, and he blinked down at me in shock. “Are you always so outspoken?”

  “Never,” I answered honestly, almost having to jog to match his stride. “But seeing as how we might die today, I really couldn’t care less about propriety. No offense.”

  “None taken.” He paused, and then added, “I admire that, actually.”

  I’d never been to General Specs before, but Senior’s revocation of clearance seemed to have done the trick. The place was like a ghost town.

  At last, we reached another corridor requiring entrance by retinal scanner. “She’s in here,” he told me. “Get ready.” Then he bent down and offered it his eyeball—matched, I assumed, to the identity of the employee whom he now impersonated. I tried to calm my pounding heart as the doors swung open.