“I’m not giving up my wolf,” I said.
“I wouldn’t dream of asking. This is a different kind of choice but a choice nonetheless.” His gaze slid left to a mute Victoria and then right to a still struggling and now furious Mr. Lexington. “The choice is your friend or her father. You must kill one of them. The other gets to live.”
“No way. Absolutely not,” I said. “You want me to carry out your orders, distract myself so you can slip in and take the alpha role. Not happening.”
“You know, I may not have full access yet, but I’ve made some interesting discoveries just spending some time at the outskirts,” Steppe said. “You miss your pack. Their voices. The mental company. You enjoyed the bond.”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. He wasn’t wrong, but I knew where this was going and it wasn’t even close to the same thing. And internally, it was taking everything I had to keep him blocked while trying to figure out how to end this standoff. I was not, under any circumstances, going to kill Victoria Lexington.
The irony of it wasn’t lost on me. Once upon a time, I would’ve actually entertained the idea of taking her out. But now, after everything we’d been through, I’d do anything to protect her. And unfortunately, that included refraining from killing her God-awful dad while she was forced to watch.
“You could have that camaraderie again, you know,” Steppe said, smiling as he stirred the mental pot.
My reasoning became muddled. Hazy. And I glared back at him. “Get out of my head,” I said.
“Make your choice,” he said.
“Neither.”
“Then you’ve sealed both their fate. And the fate of your uncle. It’s a shame. I would’ve thought you had enough blood on your hands by now. Olivia.”
She nodded at the two guards still hovering beside Victoria and then at the two near Astor. They took a step back, dropped their weapons, and planted their feet. The air around them shivered and then popped and fabric exploded, raining down in a pile beside them. One by one, they shifted, dropping to all fours as they became mangy, nearly emaciated Werewolves.
They locked onto their targets, two aimed at Victoria and two at Astor. With slow steps, they approached, jaws open, growling and snarling.
“Stop this!” I yelled.
“Only you can do that,” Steppe said.
I jerked toward the sound of snapping teeth; the last two guards had shifted and were advancing on Mr. Lexington. He backed away and fell onto an empty cot, scrambling back toward the wall it butted against. It wouldn’t do a bit of good. They were all going to die; none of them had the strength or skill to stop it.
I screamed at my wolf but it only shrank farther away from my grasp. Steppe’s slimy mental fingers grasped for a firmer grip and I screamed again, struggling for control that was quickly slipping away.
“Stop! I’ll choose!”
Olivia flicked her chin and the wolves paused. I looked at the one closest to me. It had a mangy coat of dull brown, scarred and matted in places. It smelled different than any of the hybrids I’d ever bonded with and I realized, not for the first time, these were different. Not Olivia’s original creations. Not from Miles.
Something about them was familiar. The subtle slanting of their eyes, the scrawny, sinewy build of their muscles. But I couldn’t quite place it and there wasn’t time. Whatever it was, they were obviously bonded with Olivia now. Some failed experiment on Steppe’s part, made into his very own disposable army.
Inside the walls of my mind, a voice whispered promises of information in exchange for my surrender. Screw you, Gordon Steppe. I’m shutting you out.
Gordon blinked.
“Your choice,” he prompted, irritation pulling the corners of his mouth down. “Which one will you kill?”
I hesitated, not sure whether to hate myself or Steppe for whatever happened next. The silence stretched and my stomach twisted with dread and indecision.
I looked at Victoria, thinking of our friendship, such as it was. The way we’d been at odds during our term at Wood Point and then our slow progression toward something resembling friendship since she and Logan had become a couple. Even in her worst moments of cruelty, I understood her. She was the way she was for a reason. Namely, the man standing across the room.
Mr. Lexington. I looked at him, contemplating. But he wasn’t watching me. He was staring at his daughter, his expression pained. Concern was etched into the space between his brows. And even though they looked nothing alike, for some reason, Mr. Lexington’s worry made me think of Astor the day he’d transfused my blood with George’s, creating that first bond. He hadn’t wanted to do it; he knew better than anyone how complex it was to bond with someone. But George would have died without it. There was no changing my mind.
I thought about after that, how I’d fought the bond’s pull—and George—and managed to shut him out. At least for a while. That’s what I was doing now, with Steppe, but I already knew from experience it was only a matter of time before I had to let Steppe in or let it kill me.
And while I waited, I had to kill someone else.
This moment was such a freaking mess.
“Your choice,” Steppe repeated, louder now. Olivia huffed in impatience. “Do it now. Or your time is up,” he added.
“I choose Mr. Lexington,” I said. Behind me, Mr. Lexington slumped—in relief? “But you have to call off your dogs,” I added.
Steppe’s eyes lit up. “Done.” He nodded at Olivia, who snapped her fingers at her new pack. They stepped back and filed toward the door.
“Her too,” I said, nodding at Olivia.
“No way,” she said.
I crossed my arms. “She goes or I don’t choose.” Olivia opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. “And we both know you want my willpower broken bad enough. This is a small concession.”
“Fine. Olivia, wait outside,” Steppe said.
“Gordon, I don’t think—” she began.
“I don’t care what you think. We both know how important this is. Just do it,” he snapped.
She threw a death stare his way but he didn’t even bother to acknowledge her. Fuming, she stalked out. The guards all followed and the door shut behind them.
“And then there were five,” Steppe said, flashing a slippery smile. “You’re up.”
I took a deep breath and walked over to Mr. Lexington.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He cleared his throat. “Don’t be,” he said in a small voice. “You let my daughter live.”
“It wasn’t for you,” I said.
“Doesn’t matter. Tell her I love her.”
My brow quirked. “She’s right there. Tell her yourself.”
He shook his head. “Some words are so overdue, they’re worthless. Just get on with it.”
I searched his face for proof that he meant that. Did he actually want me to hurry up and kill him? I shook my head and refocused, blocking out the man standing in front of me waiting to die. Or his daughter watching across the room. And my terrified uncle still hovering in the corner. At least, I thought he was.
I glanced over, but Astor wasn’t there. What the—
“I’m waiting,” Steppe said.
No more time.
I turned to face Mr. Lexington again and tried to look like I was about to deliver a fatal blow. Was he not even going to fight back? He eyed me with a dubious expression. Neither one of us believed what I was about to do.
Against the walls of my mind, the darkness leaned in. Very deliberately, I squared my shoulders—and lowered my defenses.
Instantly, the teetering grip on the edges of my mind became a stronghold. The dark tentacles surged in and latched on, suction cups of greed against the stores of my will.
I could feel its triumph. Its eagerness to explore the reaches of my knowledge, my memories. But more importantly, I felt its distraction. This was it. There wouldn’t be another chance.
With a final fleeting glance at Mr. L
exington, I turned on my heel and leaped.
Chapter Seven
Steppe’s desire for access to my thoughts was more consuming than I’d imagined. His distraction was total. I launched myself across the room and slammed into him, taking both of us down in a grappling heap before he ever saw me coming.
My advantage ended there.
Get off me!
His was the order of an alpha and my body responded in kind. In my haste to get to him, I’d left myself wide open. He was in. And I wasn’t entirely in charge.
Whatever was left of my subdued wolf reared at the order and I doubled back, snagging the edges of Gordon’s clothing as he rolled away. I hooked a finger into his belt loop and yanked. I threw myself at him, clawing and punching and hoping like hell I’d do enough damage before Olivia returned to have gained some leverage.
Steppe’s insistence in my mind was like a steel plate against my will. I struggled to break through, but I couldn’t quite get there. Instead, we wrestled and rolled in a sort of stalemate grappling match.
Behind me, the door opened, and I bit back a yell as I realized Olivia must have returned. My chance had slipped away. And now, I really would be forced to kill Mr. Lexington.
At the sound of a gunshot, my panic paused, and I whirled. Two more shots followed in quick succession. Someone cried out, the words drowned out by the sound of a fourth shot, and then the yelp of a wolf before it died off.
Steppe shoved me off him and we both sat up, searching for the source of the sound. Beside the open door, Astor stood gripping a gun in two shaking hands. Three guards-turned-wolves lay on the floor at his feet. Their edges shook as their bodies settled into one form or another, a final shift as death claimed them.
In front of Astor, Olivia stood, expression wary, hands out.
“Careful, old man,” she said in a breathy voice. It cracked on the last word and I knew she must be feeling the loss of the three Werewolves. Suddenly, she hunched over, bending at the knees and stumbling back a few steps in an effort to stay on her feet.
Her last two wolves hovered behind her, waiting for orders.
“Don’t speak to me, devil,” Astor spat at her. I couldn’t tell if he was waving the gun for effect or just overcome with the trembling that stemmed from his buckling elbows.
Beside me, Steppe pushed to his feet. I could already sense his intention and reacted purely on reflex. I grabbed his ankle and wrapped my hands around it, sliding across the floor as he took a step.
“Let me go,” he yelled, shaking his ankle in an attempt to break my hold. But I tightened my grip and shoved at the force in my mind echoing his words. The bass of his internal voice hurt my head.
“Gordon,” Olivia said, her voice pained.
I tightened my grip on Steppe with a smug sort of relief.
“You’ll let us leave now,” Astor said, arms shaking. I could see the fear and indecision in his eyes. And I remembered that look from the memory I’d borrowed from Steppe, the night he’d killed Mr. Sandefur. I wasn’t sure how much longer he would hold that gun in place.
Let us go, I sent through the bond.
At the edges of his presence, the darkness screamed at me, echoing from temple to temple as Gordon fought against my attempt to dominate.
Steppe didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to; his silence said it all. Olivia cried out and moved toward Astor in stumbling steps, but Mr. Lexington shot over, inserting himself between them. The remaining wolf growled, but it didn’t attempt to intervene. Its yellow eyes were unfocused and glassy. I wondered how much of Olivia’s pain it felt—and I hoped it was enough to distract it.
As if he’d read my thoughts and agreed, Gordon sighed heavily. “This isn’t over,” he said simply.
A hand appeared above me, dirty and bruised. I followed its arm and found Victoria standing over me. I let go of Steppe’s ankle and let her help me up.
She smiled at me. “We should go. I’m sick of the wet dog smell all over this place,” she said quietly.
I laughed. It came out a little wild. I wasn’t sure if it was my own loose hinges after being here so long or Steppe’s contribution to my behaviors. But I didn’t care. I swung my elbow backward, landing it square in his ribs for good measure. He doubled over, coughing and gasping.
“We’re going. Don’t wait up,” I said and looked at Lexington. “Do you have the keys to the cages?”
“They’re on the wall. There,” Mr. Lexington said, nodding at a board filled with keys just inside the door.
“Victoria, help me with them,” I said.
One by one, Victoria and I matched keys to cages and opened the doors. Mr. Lexington deposited Olivia inside the first one. She screamed from the moment the door shut on her and the lock clicked.
“You won’t be able to hide forever,” she yelled, her eyes bloodshot, her face red with anger. “We will find you. You think you’ve won but you’ve only delayed the inevitable.”
I ignored her and returned to where Steppe stood. “You’re up,” I said.
Instead of answering out loud, the voice in my mind went into overdrive. You can’t do this, you can’t do this, you can’t do this, it whispered over and over again, an unrelenting alpha chant. The darkness slammed against the tender spots of my consciousness. Memories. Promises. Affections. All of them were ripped into, faces blotted out, hearts left bleeding.
You cannot leave me when you and I are the same, the voice taunted. Don’t forget, according to the world waiting for you out there, you have just as much blood on your hands as I do.
“Stop it,” I said, but he continued his assault and I faltered under the weight of it. My mother’s face floated to the center of my mind, smiling and cheering. An old cheer competition. She clapped and beamed, full of pride. Until her expression morphed into accusation and betrayal and she screamed at me about letting her down. Letting everyone down.
A snatched conversation floated through my mind via Steppe’s recollection. “We would only proceed with the adoption if you want it,” my mother was saying. And then it was gone and I was left hollow and confused until the next image swooped it.
And Wes. His face turned away from me, smiling softly at someone I couldn’t see. And the darkness whispered to me that he’d already moved on. Already found someone else to love. I reached out for the table’s edge to steady myself and almost missed. The darkness laughed.
“Tara?” Victoria asked, taking my elbow. “Are you all right?”
“I’m good,” I managed.
I pressed my lips together, grinding my teeth, and bit down on the pain. With all of my strength, I shoved back against the lies licking their way into my heart. Steppe grimaced and I knew I’d made headway. I shoved again, this time facing him, but I couldn’t shove him all the way out. Not now that I’d let him in.
Inch by inch, I chased him into a space where I could find myself again and pushed off from the table. With Victoria’s help, I stumbled to Astor and laid a hand on his shoulder. He handed me the gun. “Thanks,” I told him.
He patted my head and his eyes took on that vacant look that I knew so well. “Anything for a niece,” he sang, already checked out. “Now where are my slippers?”
“You’re wearing them,” I said.
“Oh. Right.”
He wandered off and I used the gun to herd the last wolf to the waiting metal cage. He whimpered, hesitating at the open door, his cries growing louder. I faltered, wondering if I was doing the right thing in forcing him in with Steppe and Olivia, but then he rounded on me and our eyes met. And my memory mixed with Steppe’s own knowledge bank, newly accessible, and I realized where I knew these wolves from.
“You,” I said, bending closer and breathing the word. “I remember. In the woods last spring. I left school looking for Miles and you found me ... you attacked me. I thought you belonged to Miles, that you worked for him.”
The memory came flooding back and I sucked in a breath as it filled into the gaps left by Steppe�
�s knowledge of that day. The wolf glared at me in stubborn silence, his contempt written as clearly as the darkness he’d long since embraced. I waved the gun in his face and shoved him into the cage.
“You’ve made your choice,” I told him. “And it wasn’t me. The metal hurts, doesn’t it?”
He growled but I turned away, disgusted. I’d have to take some time later to think this through but for now—
“Olivia is right, you know. You’re only delaying the inevitable. I’m sure I don’t have to explain this to you ... out loud,” Gordon said.
He sat hunched over in the squat cage but somehow, even with his legs pulled up to his chest, his socks poking out from where his pants rode up, he managed to look completely at ease with his current predicament. Worse, he didn’t look worried—and that rattled me. Something I knew he’d already gleaned the moment the smile spread across his face. “The world thinks you’re the villain,” he said.
“The world knows better than to believe you.” I shoved him back against my mental walls but there was no chasing him out. Not entirely.
He tilted his head knowingly. “Do they?”
I walked over to his cage and stood before him. “Your days as the leader of CHAS, the voice of Hunters, are numbered. I will remove you.”
“Sounds threatening. Just like the world already expects thanks to the videos I’ve been releasing regularly of all your exploits.” His smile stayed in place, lazy and infuriating as ever. “And when you’ve usurped my authority, then what? You’ll rule? Please. Even I can see what that will look like to your constituents. A power play, and not a very good one. You might be able to overthrow me—”
“Usurp, usurp,” Astor began.
Mr. Lexington growled at him and he fell abruptly quiet.
“But our laws are steeped in tradition,” Steppe pointed out calmly. “Hundreds of years old. And the law states the director’s seat is generational. A family business.”
“You don’t have family,” I pointed out.
A strange sensation washed over the bond and Steppe’s expression flickered with something. It was gone too fast to name and he said, “Quite. In the event of my death, the new director is selected from the board. A board your family no longer serves on. A board that consists only of myself and Mr. Lexington here come to think of it. Tell me, will you nominate Mr. Lexington here? Use him as your puppet after condemning me for the same?”
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