Destined to Change

by Harley, Lisa M.

  All of these thoughts were taking me over, and I swear I started to have a panic attack. I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom to splash cold water in my face. Jaxon followed after me.

  He put his arms around me, “Loralei, I’m so in love with you. I will do whatever I need to do to prove that to you. If you want me to be rough, I will be. If you want me to be gentle, I can do that too. Just tell me what you want from me. Please, babe.”

  We locked eyes in the mirror and I could see he was being sincere. “Why didn’t you tell me you saw us?” I asked.

  “I heard you tell him you loved me. That’s all I needed to know. I saw the look on that asshole’s face when he was walking toward you. He has strong feelings for you, Lor. It had to break his heart when you told him you love me. I’m not gonna lie to you, I wanted to break his fucking face. But I needed to see if I had lost you. Now I know you’re mine. One hundred percent mine. And that’s all that matters to me.”

  I turned around, looking him right in the eyes. “Jaxon, I love you too. And I’m one hundred percent yours. Can you say the same? What is going on with Stacy?”

  “She’s still in town. We have some things to wrap up, and then she’ll be heading back to California.”I turned around and Jaxon avoided my gaze in the mirror.

  “Are you talking about the divorce? Is she going to fight you on it?” I asked.

  He caught my gaze in the mirror as he was sliding his hands down my hips, “We just have some things to figure out. She’ll be gone before you know it. I don’t want to be with her, Lor, I love you.” That last statement was so sincere. I had no doubt in that moment of his love for me.

  The look on his face suddenly changed. He slid his hands from my hips up to my breasts. He never took his eyes off of me. He caressed my breasts so gently. God, it felt amazing. Then he reached down and pulled my shirt up over my head. He released the clasp on my bra and it fell to the floor.

  Jaxon leaned in and pushed me against the counter. I could feel how excited he was and that amazing piercing. He unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them and my panties down to the floor.

  He whispered, “Step out of your jeans, babe.” I complied and before I knew what was happening he was pressing into me from behind. He leaned in and nuzzled my neck. Then he nipped my earlobe. “Rough or gentle? Tell me how you want me to love you.”

  I almost lost it when he asked me that. I said the first thing that came into my mind, “Rough, please Jaxon, love me rough!”

  I barely got the words out before he told me to, “Hold on to the counter, baby.” He thrust into me so hard that my head almost hit the mirror. He was relentless. He didn’t let up. Over and over. Harder and harder. His piercing was rubbing me in all the right places. I looked up and saw our faces in the mirror. Jaxon looked so focused. Like he was trying to prove to me that he loved me and he would do anything for me. I looked like, well, someone getting loved rough. My whole body was shaking and the orgasms wouldn’t stop. Apparently, I liked it rough and Jaxon certainly knew what he was doing.

  Chapter 10

  Cade

  Holy fucking shit! What the hell was wrong with me? I hadn’t had sex in days, and I didn’t even want to. I was sitting in my favorite hole-in-the-wall bar with an ice cold beer in my hand. The gals were hanging all over me. They were begging me to take them home so they could see my big “ranch”, but all I could think about was Loralei Harper. What the hell was the deal with that fucking woman? Sure, she was hot as hell, so sweet and shy, with just enough of a wild side to totally get my blood boiling. Oh hell, I had it bad for that woman.

  I had to work her out of my system. I surveyed the room trying to cull the herd and pick one of the lucky ladies to go home with me tonight. I had a lot of options, all repeat performances of course, but still great options. Alison was always a fun lay. Or Shannon, that chick was crazy in the sack. Then I remembered I had seen Michelle standing at the bar with her skin-tight jean skirt hanging low on her hips and her tramp-stamp peeking out for all to see.

  Michelle was the lucky lady tonight. She was so fucking hot, and it didn’t hurt anything that she reminded me of a certain blonde I was jonesing for. I decided it was time for me to make my move. It wouldn't take much.

  “Hey babe, let’s go.” I leaned in and slid my tongue along that special spot behind her ear. I knew she would leave with me. She was always up for a night with me. She nodded and went to get her purse. We headed out toward my truck, and I decided I just needed to get this over with. I grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall, jammed myself between her legs and pushed my hand up her skirt. I found what I was looking for, a nice, warm, wet pussy. So what the hell was wrong with me? Why wasn’t “cowboy” excited? Usually by now I would be in and ready to ride. But I wasn’t getting hard. You gotta be fucking kidding me? What the fuck had Loralei done to “cowboy”? Shit, had she ruined me for all other pussy?

  Michelle decided to take matters into her own hands, so to speak. She dropped to her knees, unzipped my pants, grabbed my dick, and had me in her mouth before I could say “holy fuck”. That girl could suck the chrome off a bumper, but tonight it just wasn’t working. I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up and told her, “This ain’t gonna happen tonight, babe.”

  “Did I do something wrong, gorgeous? Why aren’t you excited?”

  “No, baby it’s not you. I’m just not feeling too good, nothing you did. Thanks for trying - you really did your best,” I lied through my teeth. I was fucking feeling fine, I just couldn’t get that woman off my mind.

  I went home alone to my huge ranch house. House, not a home. I remembered a time when it was the happiest home in the world.

  When my mom and dad were still alive, my house felt like a home, now it just felt like a house. My parents passed away a few years back. They were killed in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver. My dad died at the scene, but my mother was in a coma for a few weeks. As the only child, I was expected to take over the ranch, and I did it with everything I had. I don’t do anything half-assed and I sure as hell wasn’t going to start now with the thing that was most important to my family.

  This ranch had been in my family for decades. My dad, Cody Walker, was so proud of the changes he made to make the ranch run more smoothly. When he married my mom, Candy, the whole little town of Dexter, Missouri about flipped shit. She was a dancer, which was code for stripper that my dad met at a bachelor party he attended in Vegas. He came home from that party married to my mom.

  By the time I was born, the town had warmed up to her a little. She still liked to wear her short skirts and too much make up, which my dad loved, but it got her strange looks at PTA meetings. I had the best childhood. My mom and dad were so in love. My dad adored my mom and he always told me, “Son, when you find the right one, you’ll just know it. Your dick won’t pick her, your heart will. Always listen to your heart, because your dick can be a lying bastard!” Yep, my dad was fucking awesome!

  So I was sitting in my lonely house worrying about my little lying bastard. I decided that I should have a conversation with him. Wow, I really spent too much time alone. “Cowboy, this shit is unacceptable. If you have warm pussy ready for you, you always take it. I don’t care what that woman did to you in Joplin, this shit has to stop. She is not ours, she left with asshat. She loves him and we have to forget about her.” Now that my delusional conversation with my dick was over, I decided it was time to go to bed.

  When I woke up the next morning, I had a message from George Davidson from the cattle sale. I returned his call and was surprised and excited by his request.

  “Mr. Walker, so glad you returned my call so quickly. I’m having a little problem with the cattle we were supposed to deliver out to ya’ll. There’s been some problems with the herd. They aren’t doing too well. We weren’t able to save ‘em all. I don’t expect to make the delivery for about five weeks. Would it be possible for you to meet me at Harper Farms to survey the remaining cattle and then you
and Ms. Harper can decide which farm will get which cattle. I'm only asking you to meet me there because it’s a little bit closer to me. I’ll cut ya’ll a hell of a deal and even give you some gas money for the drive.” George sounded embarrassed. I kinda got the feeling that he was having some pretty serious issues at his ranch.

  “I would be able to see go see Loralei...” was all I heard George say. Fuck yeah I could do it.

  I said, “No problem at all, when do I need to be there?”

  “The cattle will be delivered five weeks from Monday. I can contact Ms. Harper and let her know what’s going on and to expect us.”

  “No, that’s okay, George, I’ll let her know I’m coming,” I said with a smirk on my face. You bet your ass she’ll know when I’m coming.

  Five weeks - another five weeks before I could have sex. Damn, I hadn’t gone that long without a warm woman, well, since I was a kid. Loralei had apparently ruined me for all other pussy. I was going to have to come up with a plan to win her away from that asshat. And I had five weeks and a lot of pent up sexual energy to do it with!

  Chapter 11

  Jaxon

  It had been two weeks since Stacy and I had the DNA test done on Jaz. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Lor about this. I had to make sure Jaz was mine before I said anything to her. I knew that made me a huge asshole, but we were getting so close. Sammy and Mags were really starting to love me. I felt like I was falling in love with them too. I could see myself in this family. I could see Lor and I getting married, raising the twins, and sitting on the porch in our rocking chairs watching the grandkids play. I never dreamed that I would want that kind of life. I had always been a city boy, but this country life with Lor was sounding better and better every day.

  Stacy and I had plans to meet that afternoon at the clinic to get the results. I would finally know today. I would know if that sweet little baby girl was mine. And if she was mine, what the hell would I do next? I couldn’t stay married to Stacy. I thought I had loved her, but I never felt anything for her like what I’d felt for Lor. If she was mine, I would have to figure out some way to get Stacy to move to Missouri. There was no way I could be that far away from my kid. But that would probably be a moot point. Stacy and I tried for years and couldn’t conceive. I really didn’t think the little girl was mine.

  Loralei

  Jaxon had been acting kinda odd for the past week. I wasn’t really worried about it because we were getting along so well, and I could tell that he was really trying to make us work.

  He was spending most of his free time with me and the kids or just me or just the kids. Seeing him with them really made my heart happy. Mags was his little princess. Sammy was his little man. And they were loving it, especially Sammy. He had already asked Jaxon if, when he turned eighteen, he would take him to get a cool tattoo like his. Jaxon said yes, and then turned to me pretty quick with an “oh crap, I agreed before asking you” look on his face. I smiled to show him it was okay.

  But still I could just tell that something wasn’t right and my biggest fear was that this had something to do with Stacy. Maybe Jaxon didn’t want to divorce her. Maybe he was having second thoughts about everything.

  I asked Jaxon to come over for a late lunch at my house, but he told me he couldn’t. He said he had something he had to take care of in town. I should’ve just let it go, but I couldn’t.

  I had to know what was going on, so I did the only thing I could, I followed him. Not like a stalker. I just went into town before he did and kept an eye out for his truck. That was it. It wasn’t like I planned on cowering down in the seat and taking covert pictures of him.

  It was a small town, so this was not hard to do. When I finally caught a glimpse of his truck, I noticed he was turning into the medical clinic. That scared me, I thought maybe he was sick.

  What happened next made my stomach drop. He pulled in next to a little black Saturn Vue and out popped Stacy. She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him. He didn’t look too happy about that, but what were they doing there together?

  I sat across the street in the parking lot of the bank and waited for them to come out. Would they come out together? I didn’t have to wait long for my answer. Stacy came out first, crying and clutching a piece of paper. Jaxon came out shortly after her. He walked over to her, and said something to her that made her sob harder. He climbed into his truck and started back toward the farm.

  I knew that I should have left. Hell, I knew that following him was wrong, but I had to know what was going on. I was afraid that Jaxon would continue to lie to me so I decided to get my answers straight from the bitch’s, uh, horse’s mouth.

  I pulled in next to Stacy, climbed out of the jeep and walked over to her. She was sitting in her car, still sobbing. I knocked on the window, and she rolled it down.

  “What the hell do you want? Haven’t you taken enough from me? Go the hell away!” she screamed at me and started to roll her window up.

  “What is going on? Why are you so upset, and why was Jaxon here with you? Are you sick?” I asked.

  “Oh so he didn’t tell the little country bumpkin bitch we have a kid huh? We were here getting the results of the DNA test.” She sneered at me.

  My heart was pounding so fast. Another lie, he had lied to me again. He had a kid with Stacy. He left his wife and kid to go back to the farm. How could he do that? What kind of man was he, really?

  “What do you mean, you have a kid?” I screamed back at her.

  “Well let me explain it to you, honey. When a man and a woman really love each other, well they fuck like bunnies and make a baby. Ours is a little girl and Jaxon just left us so he could go play house with you. Great man, isn’t he? Are you proud of yourself? He’s all yours - you won.”

  I just stared at her. I couldn’t speak. This couldn’t be true. They have a kid, and Jaxon just left them. Because of me?

  I ran back to my jeep, climbed in, and headed home. When I got to my house Jaxon was sitting on my porch, waiting for me. I parked and as I started walking toward the door I noticed how sad he looked. If I hadn’t been so mad at him for lying to me, I would’ve almost felt bad for him.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I was waiting for you; I need to talk to you about something.” He looked up at me from under those beautiful long eyelashes.

  “Stacy already told me. I know all about her.” I said while trying to keep a tear from welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. I was on the porch, trying to get in the house without him seeing how bad I was hurting.

  “She told you?” he asked.

  “Yes, she did. And I think that it’s time for you to go home to your family. You belong with Stacy. She’s your wife. You need to go home with them,” I said in the most unfeeling tone I could muster up.

  “She told you everything and you want me to leave? Are you fucking kidding me?” he asked with a weird look on his face, like I had just surprised the shit out of him.

  “Yes, I think you need to stay with your wife. I’m fine here. I have my family and my life that I need to get back to. This was fun, but I think we both knew it wouldn’t last.”

  Jaxon stood up and walked toward me. “What the fuck are you saying, Loralei? You just want me to leave? You don’t want to give me the chance to explain?”

  I turned and faced him. “There is nothing for you to explain. This, whatever the hell this was, is over. You have a family to take care of. So go do it!”

  He stomped off toward Jake’s truck. When he got in the truck, he slammed his fists down on the steering wheel. He was mad. He was yelling, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. He started the truck up and peeled all the way down the lane.

  I watched him drive away. He was angry, but he didn’t even put up a fight. No matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, I really wished he would’ve.

  I went in the house and called my mom. I asked her if she could please pick the kids up at school and keep them un
til tomorrow. I lied and told her I felt like I was coming down with something and just needed to rest for a bit. I was sure she didn’t believe me, but she agreed anyway.

  I ran a hot bath, climbed in, and tried to wash all my worries away. Well, that didn’t work so I had to come up with a Plan B. A plan that didn’t involve me messing up Jaxon’s life. He and Stacy were married and they had a daughter. They needed to be together. Their daughter needed her father.

  I was hoping that Jaxon could be a father to the twins, but he needed to take care of his child, and he needed to be with Stacy to do that. I couldn’t interfere and ruin their family, no matter how much it hurt me to see him drive away today.

  Jaxon

  I couldn’t understand what was going on. I was so pissed off. But at who? Loralei? Stacy? Or myself? It was a definite toss-up.

  Stacy told Loralei about the DNA test and she still wanted me to leave. God damn it! She must have felt that this would be an easy way out for her. I was so in love with that woman that I couldn’t see straight and she gave up on me. Just like that.

  She made the decision that she wanted me to leave. She wanted me to go to my wife and raise a kid that’s not mine. How the fuck did I fall in love with her? Apparently, she didn’t love me near as much as I loved her.

  I had known in my heart the entire time that the DNA test would come back and say I wasn’t the father. I knew that I couldn’t have kids. Stacy and I had tried for so long and when she told me about Jaz, I just knew she wasn’t mine. I knew at that moment, I was the reason why we couldn’t have kids.

  “Uncle Jake, I think it’s time for me to head back to California.” I couldn’t even look up at him when I said this. I knew that he would know something was wrong. I had moved beyond pissed, now I was hurting.

  “Son, what’s going on? Did something happen with you and Loralei?” Uncle Jake asked. He was worried about me, but I just didn’t want to talk about this right now.