The Binding

by L. Filloon

  As I pump the gas, I turn to watch Lily head into the mini mart next to the large casino . I notice her glance back at Julia and Tolan. They seem at a loss for words with each other, which is actually a good thing. If they start screaming again I’ll have no other choice but to tie the both of them up, gag them and stick them in the back of SUV for the rest of the trip. They a re going to kiss and make up and admit their feelings for each other , or I’ll strangle the both of them. Either way, they need to get on with it. I’m getting tired of seeing Lily worry about her friend, and to be honest, I feel sorry for my brother. I’ve never seen him so miserable , lost and unsure. It w as funny at first, but now? Now it’s just pathetic.

  I look about and sniff the air. I’ve notice d the constant change in the weather this time of the year and u p in Utah it i s even stranger. In the m iddle of summer, there are rain storms and floods throughout the western part of the United States . It’s worse toward the eastern coast. I’m hoping to make it through Zion before it gets too late , but because of a necessary stop in Las Vegas , it’s most likely not going to happen . I have a message for an ogre. An ogre name d Mareck who just happens to be one of the biggest crime lords of today. If the F.B.I . actually knew where Mareck’s fortune came from, they would pack up all their surveillance equipment and go home. As it stands, they have nothing to go on. It ha s been like that for the past several years. Yet, if everything goes right, we can make it to Ephraim before midnight.

  As I replace the pump, I realize Lily hasn’t come back yet. I watch as Mellis and the others make their way back with cases of Aquafina bottled water. They open the back to the car and start loading the drinks into the coolers. I make my way over to Tolan and Julia who are now speaking softly to each other. I walk over to stand next to Tolan, who suddenly becomes stiff and awkward while I notice a s oft blush come over Julia. She i s extremely pretty and migh t even be beautiful if it weren’t for the botched hair cut and the bruises on her face.

  “You know, Julia,” I offer, “Tolan is a healer. You should let him heal your bruises.”

  She lifts her hand to her face as if just remembering her wounds and her blush deepens. She gives Tolan a quick look and then glances at the mini m art, looking for Lily. She turns back to me, keeping her eyes averted from Tolan.

  “It’s okay. I’ll be fine. They usually go away after a few days.” I feel Tolan tense beside me, the tension obvious in the way he looks off into the distance. Julia gives me a small smile, glances quickly at Tolan be fore turning and walking toward the mini mart.

  “Sorry, b rother,” I apologize, “I thought since you were now speaking that it would be okay to make the offer.”

  Tolan sighs heavily as he watches Julia walk away, “Yes, I know. I think it will take a little more time with my Julia, Tharin. I have to wait for her to come to me.”

  I pick up on how he called her “my Julia”. I slap him on the shoulder and walk past him making my way to the store . The cool air inside feels good after coming in from the muggy heat. I scan the area from end to end for Lily , but I don’t see her. She’s probably still in the restroom. When I turn back to the area whe re the restrooms are, there i s Lil y standing next to an old woman, with an older man standing behind her. The old man catches my eye and a sense of familiarity comes over me. He looks like someone I should know, but we’ve never met. I watch as he bends to the old woman who turn s to Lily seconds later and gives her a small paper bag. I make my way over, but as I come up behind Lily, they a re already walking away leaving Lily standing alone with the bag in her hands. I get the impression that she was about to go after them.

  “Who are they?” I ask, still looking after the old couple.

  “I don’t know,” she answers as she looks after them as well .

  I look over her should er to see what i s in the bag at the same time she turns around, hitting me on the chin with her head.

  “Oh sorry, Tharin , ” she apologize s distra ctedly, more interested in what i s in the bag than concern ed about my injured chin.

  She reaches in and pulls out a statue of a warrior. It’s old, and crusted over with green algae and rust. It looks as if it was found buried in some underwater cave. The body is that of a Sidhe warrior, but it has the head o f a fish. He’s belted with a Sidhe sword, on his back is a quiver marked with Sidhe symbols full of arrows and in his left hand , which hangs at his side, is a Sidhe bow. On top of the fish-man’s head is a wreathe d crown that looks like it’s made of leaves from an oak tree. The most intrica te part of the statue is what is in his right hand. It’s extended and on his open palm is a rusted black box. Even through the rust and grime we can see there are intricate rune designs on it.

  “It’s beautiful,” breathes Lily . “What is it?”

  “It’s a Manui warrior . There hasn’t been a Manui for centuries. That should n’t even exist, Lily .” I reply. We both looked up and around ag ain for the old couple but they’re gone.

  “I don’t understand, Tharin. Why did she give me this?”

  “What did she say to you?”

  “Nothing really, I bumped into her and knocked her dow n. I helped her up and the man suddenly appeared. Then she said she wanted to give me a gift, but they had to go , so she gave this to me instead. She said we’d me et again and then they left,” a fter a moment’s pause, “Tharin?”

  “Yes, Lily?”

  “Tharin, she knew my name.”

  Again we look ed around. Without knowing it, Lily moves closer to me taking my hand. I hold on to it, pulling her even closer and causing the small statue to poke me in the chest. I decide that I can bare it if it means having her near and somehow it just feels right. It’s as if we ’re standing in an empty space, just the two of us. The world that is the minimart disappears.

  Then she abruptly hands me the statue saying, “I have to go to the restroom.”

  She turns and quickly walks away. I’m slammed back in to reality as if hit by a splash cold of water. I don’t know what came over me just a moment ago , but it’s obvious that Lily felt nothing. I look down at the statue, examining the fish face. At a closer inspection , I realize that it’s not an actual fish head but a helmet with a wreath design on it. Under the helmet stares the eyes of a Manui warrior, a distant cousin of the Sidhe. His eyes are determined, sharp and there is also intellect there . I look closer at the box in his hand and then back it away from my face quickly. I could have sworn the symbols on the box moved. I look at it closely again , but it’s the same as when Lily first took it out of the bag. I put the statue into one of the many pockets of my coat and look around one last time. It’s settled then. Lily wil l not be left alone again. She wi ll either be with me, Tolan or one of our cousins.

  I think of the old couple. It’s strange but I didn’t get the feeling Lily was in danger. Once again I feel that I know them.

  *

  Chapter Twenty-Three Lily

  I can’t get to the bathroom fast enough. I can still feel Tharin’s hand in mine and the way he felt as I leaned against him. I feel dizzy and elated and panic ked all at once. I can’t explain why he makes me feel this way every time he gets close to me. When he does, I feel as if I ha ve no control, as if I a m caught in a wave. Washing my hands , I look in the mirror seeing the truth of the matter. You’re attracted to him! I shake my head in denial at my own reflection , but the idea alone makes me weak in the knees. I can’t let this happen. If it were n’t for the treaty, Tharin wouldn’t have known I even existed. There would be no reason for him to be here in the first place. The only real family I have is Lucas. I have nothing to do with a treaty.

  When Lucas and I were kids , we use d to listen to Uncle Stan tell us about when he and our dad were just kids themselves . I love d hearing about their stories growing up. After my uncle’s death , I tucked all of those memories away. I remember hearing or reading about adopted kids who at young ages wanted to, no needed to find their parents, to know who they were and in turn find out about
themselves. I never had that need. I didn’t want to know who my parents were. Even now when I think of them, I don’t have any of those feelings. All the family I ever needed then and now is Lucas.

  Now there’s Tharin w ho literally crashes into my life, tells me that I belong to a family of Sidhe royalty, with a human father who is some kind of warrior brother to his father, the king.

  I try to block everything out and focus on one thing only, finding Lucas. Thinking of Tharin confuses and distracts me at the same time. I k now there i s a connection between us and if so, so be it. As for this whole betrothed thing…it’s so obvious it’s something he does n’t want . He’s only going through with it because of a promise he made to his father. Yeah, that wedding will never happen.

  The stall next door flushes, bringing me out of my thought s . Julia appears as she comes around the corner and s eeing me, she gives me a small smile. Just that bit of familiarity comforts and puts me at ease. Having her with me is a piece of reality, a reminder of the world I plan to return to.

  I smile sheepishly at her saying, “I’m sorry I left you alone with Tolan.”

  She shrugs as she washes her hands, “It’s okay. It was actually kinda nice. He asked me how I was doing and I told him I was fine. Then he said he’d get some water and that’s when Tharin walked up.” I chuckle at her obvious disappointment over Tharin’s appearance.

  “Yeah,” I comment, “he has a way of just showing up when you least expect it.”

  “So who were those people you were talking to?”

  “I have no idea. I bumped into the old woman and she gave me a small fish-man statue. Next thing I know they’re gone.”

  “A fish-man statue?” she asked.

  “Tharin says it’s an old statue of a Manui soldier. He said they haven’t existed for centuries and neither should the statue.”

  “A Manui? Wow, you mean to tell me that a fish-man actually existed? Are you serious?”

  “Why not? We’re traveling with a group Sidhe…Sidhes…Sidheians? How would you pluralize that?”

  She laughs as we dry our hands, “I have no clue. I just call them elves. Funny, they don’t look like the elves in Lord of the Rings . You know what I mean? All the elves in that movie had hair that was long and slicked back at the top, like they were greased. And their hair hung down their backs to their butts with dry split ends. Tolan and the others have more of a really sexy Johnny Depp kind of hair. Not the Pirates of the Caribbean hair, but when he use d to wear it lo ng and wild, like back in his Wi nona Rider days.”

  I think about that for a minute and nod in agreement. She’s right. Each time we see some depiction of elves, they all have long hair down their backs, their ears are r eally sharp at the tip and they a re all thin and lanky. Tharin and the others, on the other hand, are n o thing like that. Not even close. Neither were the Ange that showed up in the desert. Granted they a re all tall and physically built, but they certainly are no t thin or lanky. They do have long hair, but no longer than any other guy with long hair that I know . Tharin’s hair falls below his shoulders, but Tolan has the same length as Julia’s. As for Melli s, Alorn and Phoris , their hair lengths vary between the two brothers. No longer than Tharin’s, but no shorter than Tolan’s. In fact, Mellis wears the top portion of his hair in a ponytail , which looks like he has a big lump on his head with the beanie on . The other elves in the desert were the same, except for the leader. His hair was black and a little longer than Tolan’s with soft curls , like my own . But even his hair hung naturally and was not slicked back. As for their ears, y eah okay, they a re pointed at the tips, but not so extreme. Until this moment, I’ve never given much thought to their looks. Tharin’s face pops in to my thoughts . Okay, except for his looks.

  “Lily,” interrupts Julia, “why haven’t you asked Tharin about those other elves? Especially the one who looks just like you? Or whatever that screaming thing was?”

  Julia i s right. I should be asking Tharin about what ’s going on. I need to get it throug h my thick skull that he doesn’t care if I look like a fool. I’m just someone he needs to get back to fulfill a treaty. Or, is the truth I’m afraid to ask because by asking I would be committing myself to him and his world? To ask would mean learning and get ting pulled in and that’s not what I want . Or, I could just really be a coward and not want to make a fool of myself.

  “I don’t know , Julia , ” I answer turning to her. “It’s almost like I don’t want to know. The crazy thing is, is that even though I tell myself I don’t want to know, I still think about everything. It’s just that s ometimes when Tharin looks at me I feel like he expects me to be this other person , and when I try to respond to him, I feel like a complete idiot.”

  “So, you’re saying that because he makes you feel like someone you’re not, you actually become someone you’re not? Is that it?” I give her a confused look.

  “Okay,” she continues trying another approach, “because you think he expects you to be someone else, instead of being yourself, you act or react in a way you usually wouldn’t , therefore becoming someone other than yourself. See?”

  “Uh, yeah,” I laugh “I actually do, in a round about way.”

  We remain standing in the restroom not wanting to go out just yet. Again, Julia i s right. Why would I care what Tharin thin ks? He can’t have a worse opinion of me than he already has , right? I decide that the first chance I’m alone with him I’ll ask what I want to know.

  “I wonder what she looks like?” asks Julia, startling me out of my thoughts.

  “What who looks like?” I ask .

  “Kalis. I wonder what she looks like.”

  “Kalis?”

  “Yeah, you know, Tharin’s one true love?” Julia looks at me and then shrugs saying, “Mellis told me. He drove me to Victorville. We didn’t say much at first, but then he told me that he thought you seem ed to suit Tharin more than Kalis. When I asked about her, he said they all grew up together, and they were all in love with Kalis at some point . She only had eyes for Tharin and they grew very close. When they got older they were ‘unofficially’ together. He said that Tharin swore he would keep his promise to his father for the sake of the c lans, but everyone knows he was n ’t happy about it. In fact, from what he told me, Tharin was angry and poor Kalis was heart broken.

  “Mellis was in some garden when Kalis and Tharin walked in. They didn’t know he was there, listening to how they felt about one another and about the meeting with Tharin’s father. Mellis said she was crying and Tharin was upset, but they swore their love to each other.”

  I suddenly feel a kind of t ightness in my chest that I can’t explain. Something inside me se ems heavy and hollow, and I can’t explain that either. Why should I care if Tharin loves someone else?

  “Yeah, but Mellis also said,” continues Julia unaware of my discomfort, “that he and the others never felt that Kalis was the one for Tharin .”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, according to Mellis, Kalis isn’t really what she seem s . He didn’t say more than that except that she’s beautiful, but she has a temper and Tolan confronted her about it once. Well, she told Tharin and he and Tolan got into it. Their argument was so bad Phoris had to step in between them. They ended up not speaking for a week.”

  Julia pauses for a moment and says, “You think Tolan could be in love with her, too? I mean , Mellis did say that they all fell in love with her. Do you think he is?”

  She stares at me with a worried look, as if noticing my discomfort for the first time asking , “Hey, are you al l right?”

  I nod, “Yeah, I just need some air.”

  She heads for the door and opens it, walking ou t first; turning to make sure I’m following. She leads me outside where even though it’s muggy and hot, I take in deep breaths of air.

  “Lil, are you okay? Do you want me to get Tharin?”

  “No,” I reply a little harsh ly . “I just needed a little air. I think I ’m just hungr
y.”

  She looks at me unconvinced and nods. “Okay, let’s see what we can find to eat here .”

  We walk back into the mini mart, Julia ahead of me. Tharin i s in love . He’s in love, but not with the one he will marry. No, that’s not right; he’s not in love with the one he’s being force d to marry. I feel a sense of panic and I ’m confused about why I’m reacting this way. So what? It’s not as if you even like the guy, you just met him! And it’s not like you’re going to marry him in the first place, remember? That i s true. Of course there will be someone else in his life! The guy is like an Adonis with pointed ears , and I thought…I thought what? That someone like him would be single all this time? Even if he was , why would a guy who looks like he does even bother to consider choosing someone like me, on his own, without being forced to? Why do I care? I don’t…really , I don’t .

  I just need to find Lucas. I repeat that thought over a nd over again like a chant. He’s the only reason I’m here, and when I find him , I’ll return to San Diego and hope never to see or hear from Tharin again. Marry him? Not if my life depended on it!

  So why do I feel so upset then ?

  *

  Chapter Twenty-Four Lily

  It seems our roles have reversed. Julia is more talkative now ever since her small moment with Tolan at the gas station . I’ve become quiet and reserve d , watching the world outside speed by. I tune out both Julia and Tharin w hile Julia’s words about Tharin and Kalis continue to play in my head. Kalis. Even her name sounds beautiful.