The Binding

by L. Filloon

  I don’t remember when I started shaking from the cold, but I can feel Julia shaking , as well. I lift my arm that feels like it weighs a ton and place it around her shoulder, pulling her in closer. The freezing cold is seeping through our wet jeans and I feel my bones ache from it.

  “Lilianethia, get up,” her voice is as calm as it was when she guided me through the process of removing Alorn’s poison.

  I shake my head at her, unable to speak or think. That’s how cold I am.

  “Get up and move, or die.”

  My muscles ache as I move to take the bag off my back, and then I turn to help Julia take hers off. She glances up at me questioningly, but I ignore her as I let the bags fall beside us. I have to use the wall to help me up, and my legs almost lock o n me. I stop for a second, take a breath , then stand straight and try to shake out the numbness. I bend down to help Julia up, but she shakes her head at me and tries to pull away. Using both hands , I force her up. She’s so cold and exhausted she stops resisting and stands leaning against the wall. For a moment I hug her to me , not sure which way to go. Then I feel it. Something is out there, in the dark and snow, and it’s coming right at us. It’s not moving fast, stopping every now and then as if searching for something before moving forward.

  I feel the panic until, “Calm yourself,” says the voice . “Use your hand on the wall as a guide and walk to your right. Keep walking until you reach the end of the wall.”

  I grab at the rope still tied around Julia and tie it to my own waist again. It’s difficult but I manage. I grab her shoulders so that she’s force d to look at me. I point down the wall to the right and she nods. Even with the rope tying us together, I grab her hand using my other to feel along the wall. By now I can’t see anything and the sense of panic starts to rise in my chest again. I swallow it back down trusting in the voice and the wall to guide me.

  Each step is labor intens iv e , and I think my bones will break with every move. The cloth on our feet and legs no longer protect us, as the cold and wetness soaks through. I no longer use my eyes as I can’t see anything through the dark sunglasses, but I keep them on for protection against the wind. With my head down I slowly move us forward putting my trust in my hand to guide us along the wall.

  I don’t know how long we’ve been walking. I’ve lost all sense of time and if it was not for the wall, all sense of direction. I can no longer feel Julia’s hand in mine . I look down every now and then to make sure that it’s still there. There’s no tension on the rope because she’s literally attached to my back. With her head tuck ed low into her hands against my shoulder, we walk blindly forward .

  We both stop in our tracks when we hear the sound approaching us. It’s the hollow wailing of some kind of animal, and it’s not far. I feel Julia push at my back to continue walking, this time we pick up our pace. Ten, fifteen minutes, maybe twenty, I don’t know . There seem s to be no end to the wall. I’m about to give up , but something brushes against my face and I almost scream. I reach up to fend off whatever it is and find Julia’s hand next to mine as we grab a tree branch.

  The branches are so thick here that it also cuts some of the cold. We make for the tree’s trunk and find th at a foot behind it is part of the mountain wall jutting out about two, maybe three feet. I look to the opposite side of the wall and find that the trees in this area have grown close to each other , giving us a natural barrier against the wind . Compare d to being out in the open, we feel as if we ’ve found a warm cave. I pull Julia before me so that she ends up behind me when facing back from where we came. Not only that , but she’ll also have her back against the wall. We remove our sunglasses but keep th e head pieces on. I huddle close to the tree trunk facing out from the are a where we just came .

  I close my eyes, trying to wait for the voice to talk to me again, but there i s only silence. I swallow the panic that keeps trying to over whelm me. I concentrate on hearing the woman’s voice, desperately hoping for her help. I don’t know how this is supposed to work! Think Lily, think! What did Tolan tell me about the energy? What did Tharin say about having the will to use it? I think of Phoris and what he does before creating a shield. He calls upon t he elements! Call the elements! Great…h ow do I do that?

  I jump when Julia slaps me repeatedly on my shoulder to get my attention. I look at her and she points to where the bags are. A few feet from them stand a huge animal of some sort, but I can’t make it out clearly because of the storm. The wind is now howling and the snow has turned to sleet making visibility almost nonexistent . In the time it took us to get here, the bags are completely covered with snow. I sigh in relief, knowing that if the snow covered our bags that quickly, then it covered our tracks as well.

  I try to make out what kind of animal it is , but the storm makes it difficult. At first I think it could be a bear, until it rises slowly , standing upright like a man. It tilts its head back and forth sniffing the air, and then it looks around, searching. When it turns and walks toward us, we both hold our breath, clutching each other. Part way, however, he stops and stares up the wall. He turns and walks back to the center. It’s not until he stands for a moment looking up and then pulls his head covering back that I realize it’s a m an . There i s something about him , though , that keeps me from running out to him. As Julia moves to go forward, I hold her back. She looks at me and I shake my head at her . She settles back behind me. We sit and watch as he drops down to a sitting position still looking up at the wall, and waits.

  Suddenly, Julia stiffens and she clutches my shoulder. I stare at her questioningly and she puts her finger to her lips, silencing me. She stares off into the distance and I feel my heart beat again when I realize she’s talking to Tolan. I watch as she looks out at the scene before us and I know that she’s describing it to him. She quietly stands, and before turning away, motions me to follow . Before I turn, I look out again at the lone man sitting in front of the wall only to find him looking back at me.

  I nearly jumped when I feel the tug on the rope. Without another look back, I turn and follow Julia. We move along the wall and deeper into the woods until she comes to a stop . She steps away from the wall, looking up. A rope, like the one wrapped around our waists , drops from above us. Tolan jumps down and we both throw ourselves at him, hugging him tight ly . Through the masks, he kisses Julia on the lips and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

  He lets us go and turns to tug at the rope. Someone, Phoris probably, tugs back. He quickly releases us from one another and takes me by the shoulder saying, “I’m going to take Julia up first, just wait here.” I nod, no longer afraid.

  He turns to Julia and after looking at him, she nods. He turns his back to her and lowers himself for her to climb on. She hops on, but falls off to the side. Tolan helps her up, this time going down on one knee to make it easier for her to climb on. I watch as Julia lays her head against his shoulder, holding on to him tightly . He turns to look at her one last time, grabs the rope and starts to climb. I watch until I can no longer see them as they disappear in to the darkness above.

  I lean on the wall and slowly slide down , ready for the long wait. I try to calculate how long it took from the time Tolan first left us to when he came back down the wall. I shake my head and let it drop. I can’t think, and I don’t re ally know how much time ha s passed .

  I pull my knees in and hug them to me. I start to rock back and forth trying to stay warm. I keep my eyes closed , refusing to look out into the dark. I think about Tharin and hope that he’s al l right and wish more than anything that he was here.

  “I know you don’t want me to touch you, Lily, but unfortunately for you , it’s the only way I can get you up this wall.”

  I quickly look up startle d to find Tharin standing next to me holding on to the rope. I look at his face and he’s as distant and unreadable as he was when we first met . I don’t care. I get up quickly and throw my arms around his waist, holding him close to me. I don’t care if he’s still angry with me. I don�
��t care that he hasn’t put his arms around me. I don’t care if he pushes me away now or later, and most of all, I don’t care that I’m crying. All I know is I’m so happy to see him, so relieve d that he’s safely back with me. I’m dizzy with relief , my reserve falling off me like melted snow and the exhaustion finally takes over. I can feel myself slipping and I have to say it before I go under. I look up at him and through the mask I whisper, “I’m sorry.”

  *

  Chapter Fifty Tharin

  I sit patiently on the ledge just above where Lily and Julia wait. It was agreed that Tolan would go down first and climb back up with Julia. There are several ledges along the way up where we can stop to rest before making it to the shelter near the top.

  I watch as Tolan lands at the bottom and how both Julia and Lily run to him. That pang hits me again and I throw my hands up in disgust. When Tolan leans down to give Julia a kiss and then turns around and kisses Lily, I’m ready to leap down and toss my brother a mile out . I take a deep breath and calm down as I watch Julia try for the second time to get on Tolan’s back. When Tolan reaches me, he stops long enough to wink at me. Even with the mask on, and the wind blowing, I can hear him laughing.

  I wait until they’re a little f a rther up before looking down. I watch as Lily leans back against the wall and slips down to the ground. I think for a minute about how to proceed. She told me not to touch her again ― i n fact , she told me to leave her alone. What am I going to do, leave her here? I could have sent Phoris to bring her up, but I almost went crazy just seeing her hugging Tolan, not to mention when he purposely kiss ed her knowing I would be watching.

  I sigh , grabbing the rope and slip quietly down . I stand and wait. I watch her lost in her thoughts, biting on her lower lip, wondering what she’s thinking. I shake myself realizing I have to get her up before she freezes to death.

  I reach out to her, letting her know what I need to do to get her up the wall. She startles when I interrupt her thoughts. Before I know what she’s doing, she’s up and throwing her arms around me. I’m stun ned and thrown so off balance by her change of attitude that it takes me a second to acknowledge that she’s holding me. I feel her shaking , but I’m not sure if it’s because of the cold, or if she’s crying. When I’m about to pull her back, I stop not sure if I should put my hands on her. When she finally looks up at me there are tears in her eyes . When she whispers that she’s sorry, I know she means it ...and all is right again. The way she’s looking at me, the feel of her against me . I wrap her close and it’s too much for me to hold back.

  I lift her mask exposing her mouth. Her eyes g r o w wide as I lower my head, and finally not able to wait any longer, I kiss her. It only takes half a second to get her reaction, which is not what I expected. Her body goes limp and her arms drop to her side. Lily is out cold. Damn.

  *

  Chapter Fifty-One ~ Lily ~

  I bump my head against something soft, but at the same time solid. I try to reach up for it and find my hands are bound by a rope. I come fully awake and have to duck my head when my face is hit by the cold wind. Both arms and legs are so mehow tied and I realize I’m on Tharin’s back. It takes me a nother se cond to realize that we’re climbing a rope and we’re moving steadily upward . He ha s bound my arms over his own shoulders and around his neck, using the same rop e that’s wrapped around his waist to tie my knees together .

  “Calm down, Lily, or you’ll throw both of us off this wall,” says Tharin, a little edgy.

  I try to look down over my shoulder but see only darkness below me. I turn my head inward, trying not to picture how high we are.

  “Tharin?”

  “Yes, Lily?”

  “I’m sorry, about…about earlier. I didn’t mean what I said. I’m sorry.”

  Tharin continues to climb and just when I think he’s still angry with me , he says, “I know, Lily.”

  “You do?” I ask relaxing a little against him.

  “Yes, you already apologized,” he answers.

  I stiffen a bit. I already apologized? I try to think back and remember sitting in the snow, waiting for Tolan to return. I remember Tharin showing up and me hugging him and that I was so relieve d to see him. I also remember telling myself that I was going to apologize, but I don’t remember actually saying it.

  Tharin stops, leaving us hanging in midair. I hold my breath as he looks over his shoulder at me while I lift my head trying to see his face.

  “You don’t remember saying it, do you?”

  He waits until I finally shake my head. I feel him sigh, and then continues climbing.

  For the rest of the climb Tharin remains quiet, and to be honest I’m not sure what else to say to him. I guess after I apologize d we’re good again, but his silence makes me nervous. Did I say something else to him? This is on my mind when Tharin leaps from the rope to a small ledge. I close my eyes and hold on to him tighter, trying not to scream while praying that he makes it.

  As soon as we land, Tharin shuffles against the wall a few more feet until we’re on a landing that leads inside the rock wall. Once we’re far enough in and move around a slight bend, the sound of the raging wind is distant . Leaning us against a wall, Tharin works at undoing the ropes. He frees my legs and they drop to the rocky floor, but my knees are weak and stiff. He unties my arms, but hold s them until I find my balance. Letting my arms go, he quickly turns to catch me as I lose my balance.

  I knew I was cold out in the wind, but being inside and cut off from it, I suddenly feel its shocking iciness in my bones. I start to shake uncontrollably and Tharin quickly takes off the wet gloves, rubbing my hands gently. My teeth start chattering and he blows on my hands looking at me while trying to get the blood circulating again. Finally, he picks me up and quickly carries me down a path taking us into the mountain. We turn a corner and the sound of the wi nd is now completely cut off, there is only the sound of my breathing. I hold on to him trying to steal some of his warmth and realize that he’s just as cold as I am . I look up at his face, so determined and focused on where he’s going, only to see that his lips are turning blue. I reach up and rub at his cheek , which causes him to slow his pace to look down at me. I smile at him, and then lay my head back on his shoulder letting the weariness slip in and take me away.

  *

  Chapter Fifty-Two Tharin

  I stand looking down at Lily and make a mental note to myself. Don’t try and kiss her bef ore she’s had a full night’s sleep.

  I sigh and shake my head before taking off again. With her asleep, I pick up my speed making it to the other side wit hin minutes. The path opens up to a large area, bi g enough for a fire and for all of us to rest comfortably. At the far corner there i s a four—foot high ledge that Tolan is using as beds for Alorn and Mellis. At the foot of the wall, just below Mellis and Alorn, Phoris is sound asleep in one of the heavy sleeping bags. On the opposite corner , Tolan or Phoris has created a wall by willing it out from the existing back wall, providing some privacy for Lily and Julia. They ’ve also tied a rope and draped it with a blanket at the opening. In the far corner, opposite the opening, is a rocky basin where water from a hidden stream above the cave trickles down , providing us with fresh water. Tolan must have built a makeshift cloth ing rack for Julia . It’s leaning against the extended wall, but close enough to be dried by the fire. Her jeans, shirt and underwear are hanging there , and her sneakers are closer to the fire .

  I carry Lily toward the private area where Julia is now sleeping , and Julia’s loud snoring distracts me for a moment. I lay Lily on the ledge next to a thick sleeping bag that is already spread out for her. I quickly begin to remove her clothes, starting with the wraps around her legs and boots. Soon, I unbutton the coat and take it off. I look at her face and she’s white as a sheet, and there is a soft blue coloring forming around her lips. Tolan is at my side and quickly gives Lily something to drink. She takes it slowly, but she doesn’t open her eyes. I start to worry about hypothermia . A s s
oon as Tolan moves aside, I quickly take off Lily’s shirt …it’s soaking wet! I leave her bra on for now, and work at her jeans…more buttons . Why can ’t she wear normal jeans with zippers like everyone else ? She has to be the only girl who owns button—up jeans . When I finally start to pull them off her, Tolan turns and walks out of the area. As I slip them off , I feel her thighs and they ’re like ice. Once I get the jeans completely off, I grab a blanket from a small stack next to her makeshift bed and spread it out on the floor. I take another blanket and wrap it around her, then lift her to place her on the floor , as well . I kneel beside her and I start to rub her shoulders, her arms, her chest, her stomach and finally her legs and feet. I reach behind me and grab at a bag left here from our last stay. I start digging inside until I find thick woolen socks and quickly roll them on her feet. Once done, I go back and again rub her shoulders.

  Ten minutes later, there is color back i n Lily ’s face and her hands are warm again. She moans softly , her teeth chattering and I know that she’ll be okay. I reach for the bag again and pull out a new pair of gloves and gently slip them on her small hands. Finally, I come to the point where I’ve no choice but to remove her underwear. I sit beside her and I pull her onto my lap making sure to keep the blanket wrap ped snugly. I lift her upper body to me so I can undo the bra hooks at the back. I feel along the strap and I can’t find any hooks . I run my fingers along the strap again trying to find them . I finally lay her back on my lap and slowly pull the blanket down to see that the bra unhooks at the front. I cover her up and try to unhook the bra through the blanket. It took some doing, but I finally feel the release and relax, letting out the breath I’ve been holding. I carefully remove her bra and toss it where the rest of her clothes are. I take a deep breath and slip my hand under the blanket and with just enough pull, quickly remove her panties and t oss them in the wet pile.