Earth Girl

by Janet Edwards

  ‘How many Gammans does it take to change a light bulb?’

  We gave the ritual response.

  ‘One to change the light bulb, and two to check if being too friendly with it is against the Gamman moral code,’ said Playdon in a pointed voice.

  We weren’t too sure whether we should be laughing at that one. Fian helpfully spoke on behalf of Delta sector.

  ‘How many Deltans does it take to change a light bulb?’

  We gave the required response.

  ‘Ten to research a new improved light bulb and one to change it.’

  It was definitely safe to laugh at that, so it got a good audience reaction.

  ‘How many Epsilons does it take to change a light bulb?’ asked Amalie.

  Joth decided to speed things up. ‘We don’t know,’ he yelled solo.

  ‘Planets in Epsilon sector don’t have light bulbs yet, but they’re in the five-year development plan,’ she said, with a perfectly serious face that got us all laughing helplessly.

  I thought we’d finished then but Krath decided to take a hand.

  ‘How many apes does it take to change a light bulb?’

  I froze and sat silently cursing the exo. Around me, I could hear several people calling out that they didn’t know. Nuke Krath, and nuke the rest of them as well. What were they going to say now? I’d heard plenty of ape jokes on the sector vid channels, and some of them were really …

  ‘If you start giving apes light bulbs,’ said Krath, ‘they’ll want the vote next.’

  It could have been much worse, the joke wasn’t about how ugly apes were, or how they smelled bad, but I’d no idea what was coming next. If this was a vid, then I’d turn it off and walk away, but it wasn’t. This was happening right here in front of me, and these were my classmates not strangers.

  There seemed to be quite a few people laughing. I bent over, pretending I had a problem with my shoe, so I could hide my face and avoid seeing theirs while I tried to think what to do. This was my moment. I could keep up my pretence of being JMK and make a calmly reasoned argument on behalf of the Handicapped, or I could openly tell the class what I was and scream abuse at them just the way that I’d planned.

  ‘Don’t they get to vote?’ asked Joth. ‘I know every planet has its own system, and voting age can vary between 16 and 25, but …’

  ‘Of course apes don’t vote,’ said Krath. ‘Why would Earth need a representative in Parliament of Planets, let alone Sector High Congress?’

  ‘To take care of their interests,’ said Joth.

  ‘Hospital Earth does all that,’ said Krath. ‘It’s not as if apes are capable of understanding sector politics, and they’re perfectly well cared for. My dad says the funding for Hospital Earth is ridiculously generous. Apes should be adequately housed and fed, but treating them like real humans is …’

  I still hadn’t worked out what I was going to say, but I couldn’t sit here silently listening to Krath dismiss me as not really human. I raised my head, and opened my mouth, but the cool, sarcastic voice of Lolmack cut in ahead of me.

  ‘The Handicapped are legally human,’ he said, ‘but the rules on that certainly need to be tightened up. It’s shocking what qualifies as human. Krath does, for example, and you only need to look at him to know he’s really a Cassandrian skunk that’s been trained to walk on two legs.’

  ‘What?’ Krath gazed at Lolmack in shock. ‘Why you nuking Betan, I’ll …’

  He scrambled to his feet and raised his fists to attack. I saw Lolmack stand up as well, shed his usual carefully negligent pose, and suddenly appear taller and far more dangerous as he laughed at Krath.

  ‘Am I supposed to be scared of you, infant?’

  Playdon was suddenly standing between the pair of them. ‘Stop this, both of you!’

  Krath hesitated for a second before letting his hands drop. ‘But he called me a …’

  ‘You were making jokes about who was and wasn’t human,’ said Lolmack, with an expression of wide eyed innocence, ‘and I just joined in. Don’t you have a sense of humour, Krath?’

  Krath turned to Playdon. ‘Are you going to let him get away with that?’

  Playdon had an angry line to his mouth as he looked back at him. ‘I have a choice here. I can accept this as one of the genuine misunderstandings that arise between students raised in different cultures, or I can treat it as a deliberate insult from Lolmack and an attempted physical attack by you. The second option means you both get official conduct warnings. Which would you prefer, Krath?’

  Krath opened his mouth, shut it again, and stood there in frustrated silence. Playdon watched him for a few seconds, before nodding and speaking again.

  ‘In that case, I’ll just say that everyone should be careful what jokes they make, and that particularly includes jokes about the Handicapped.’

  I’d been sitting there like an idiot, feeling embarrassingly relieved that Lolmack had chosen this particular moment to cause trouble again, but now I had a flash of panic. Was Playdon going to tell them …?

  ‘You should remember we’re all guests of the Handicapped while we’re on this dig site and this planet,’ he continued. ‘Now I suggest Lolmack and Krath should both go to their rooms.’

  Lolmack shrugged. ‘As you wish.’

  He strolled out of the hall, and Krath followed him a moment later, his face and body language reminding me of a sulking toddler. Playdon went after them, presumably to make sure they didn’t have a fight in the corridor, and there was an awkward silence before Dalmora stood up.

  ‘Lecturer Playdon is right. We are guests here on Earth and it’s discourteous to mock our hosts.’ She paused. ‘It’s late, so I’m going to bed now.’

  She headed for the door, and Lolia went after her, then a procession of students that included Amalie and Fian. A few of the Gammans clustered together in a tight knit group, talking in words that were loud enough for me to hear but didn’t make any sense. They had to be talking in Gamman dialect rather than Language.

  I forced myself to stand up, escaped from the hall, ignored an attempt at conversation from Amalie, and went straight to the refuge of my room.

  I lay awake in bed for long hours that night, caught up in burning fury and an odd sense of shame. Why hadn’t I screamed my anger at Krath instead of sitting there, like a good little ape, meekly accepting whatever the superior humans chose to say about me? Of course, I hadn’t been expecting the conversation. If I’d had time to think, then I could have said …

  I spent a long time pointlessly trying to work out what I should have said and when, and failing. I was feeling confused. I’d always assumed all exos despised apes, and hated them indiscriminately for it. Now Lolmack had proved he was different, and Dalmora had made her little protest, and a lot of the class had walked out of the door after her.

  It was hard to judge Playdon’s position on this. He’d made that speech about the Handicapped, but he was our lecturer and his actions could have been forced on him by the Gamman moral code. I remembered the Cassandra 2 rescue. When someone had asked if the apes of Earth 19 would be any help, Playdon had replied with a savage note in his voice. I didn’t know if his anger was at the question, or at the fact he needed the help of apes.

  I rubbed my forehead, as if the physical action could somehow help me think straight. Was I in the right or the wrong here? Krath had said some rude things about apes, but I’d only heard him because I’d deliberately come here and told the class a whole lot of cold blooded lies. I’d treated them badly, and some of those people deserved it, but some didn’t.

  I felt … I didn’t know how I felt. I’ve always been good at physical things, and bad at dealing with emotions, and it hurt to think about this stuff. This wasn’t just about what the norms thought of apes, it was also about how I thought about myself, and …

  I dragged myself out of bed in the morning, ate breakfast with an oddly subdued and silent class, and forced myself into my impact suit and outside with the oth
ers. It was when we reached our work site, that Playdon took my tag leader spot away.

  12

  I couldn’t believe it. I was just looking at the rubble, assessing the hazards, when Playdon told me to take over Amalie’s heavy lift sled, gave her my tag gun and hover belt, and started instructing her in how to use them. He’d replaced me without a word of warning or explanation. I stood there watching them for one shocked moment, and then hurried over to take my place on the heavy lift sled. I wasn’t in a rush to do what I was told, but I sure as chaos didn’t want to stand around and give anyone the chance to talk to me.

  Once I was safely alone on the sled, the pain and hurt hit me like a falling tower. Why had Playdon done this? I’d learned to respect the man, and it felt like he’d stabbed me in the back. I’d thought I was on good terms with him now. I knew he still didn’t understand what an ape girl was doing on his course, but I’d got the idea he trusted me to have decent reasons. I’d actually felt a bit ashamed about that, but now …

  I hadn’t done anything stupid on the dig site, so Playdon had to be punishing me for last night. Nuke that for justice! I might have been the one to start the light bulb jokes, but I was the victim, not the criminal here. I’d been a great tag leader, helped train the rest of the class to use impact suits, done every single thing Playdon asked of me, even risked my life for Cassandra 2, but none of that mattered. Nothing could change the fact I was an ape, so he’d used me to help train the class and now he was dumping me. I was getting shuffled away from key spot and on to a heavy lift sled. In a few days, or weeks, I’d probably be shuffled again, to get me away from team 1 entirely.

  I was white hot with anger now, as I sat there watching Amalie shooting tags at rocks. This was completely unfair and I wasn’t going to meekly accept it. I’d come on this class to make a point. I’d planned to fool the exos, scream abuse at them, and walk away. It was time to do exactly that, but I had enough control left to realize I’d make a complete nardle of myself if I did it here in the middle of a dig site. How would I get out of here afterwards? Walking all the way back to the dome on the uneven clearway surface would be killingly hard work in an impact suit, and the class would probably overtake me on the way past, sitting on their sleds and jeering at the ape trudging behind them.

  There wasn’t any other way to leave. Playdon wouldn’t stand there watching while I stole a sled, and Dig Site Command wouldn’t activate an emergency evac portal just because a Foundation course student was throwing a tantrum.

  All right, I told myself. I’ll sit here like a well behaved, downtrodden ape and do as I’m told, but when we get back to the dome … I pictured it, trying to plan exactly what I’d say, but there was no glow of satisfaction as I did it. Things had changed since I started my war against the exos. I’d planned to vent my fury and frustration on a bunch of strangers, and now I knew these people. I didn’t want to shout insults at them. Krath might deserve it, but could I really yell abuse at Fian, Dalmora and Amalie, walk away, and feel good about myself afterwards?

  No, I decided, it wasn’t going to be the exit I’d planned when I was back in Next Step. When the class were back at the dome, I’d pack and I’d leave, but I’d do it with dignity. I’d slip away to the portal when everyone was at dinner, or when they were asleep.

  I heard Amalie calling me to shift some rocks, and carefully moved them as instructed, then started to calculate time zones. I was in Earth America, so I could portal out in the middle of the night and arrive in Earth Europe in the early morning. I’d have to find somewhere to stay, contact Candace, and …

  ‘It’s not working, is it?’

  Playdon’s voice made me jump twice. Firstly, when I heard it. Secondly, when I realized he wasn’t talking over the comms link, but was standing right next to me.

  ‘No, it isn’t,’ he answered his own question. ‘I can hear the stress in her voice. Pity. Amalie has the abilities I need in my team 2 tag leader, but she’s not comfortable taking a leading role on the dig site and I daren’t push her. She’s under enough strain trying to keep up with the academic side of the course after her very patchy schooling in Epsilon. I’ll just have to let her stay in her familiar territory of working a heavy lift sled.’

  I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t even make a noise. Playdon was testing Amalie for his team 2 tag leader spot. I should have known that. I would have known that if I hadn’t been a paranoid ape, with her nerves on edge, and her brain stupid with fatigue after a sleepless night.

  ‘So, you get to keep your current team, Jarra,’ continued Playdon. ‘Krath’s reliable on a heavy lift, but he’s not an option as tag leader because he never stops to think before doing things. Dalmora hasn’t the physical strength needed for tag leading, and Fian has just calmly told me that being tag leader wouldn’t suit him but he might consider having my job as team leader. Fortunately, the lad realizes he needs a few years experience before he can do that.’

  I gave a startled laugh.

  ‘It’s certainly not impossible. Team leaders usually start their careers as either tag leader or tag support, and Fian’s the right type to …’

  Playdon let that sentence trail off, tapped his lookup, and an array of small disembodied heads suddenly appeared in front of me. With a flick of his fingers, he sent a group of five of them off to the left. I automatically looked at those faces and saw they were team 1. Fian was looking worried about something, I was wrinkling my nose in concentration, and Dalmora’s hair was filled with glowing lights. My guess was the holos had been taken on our first day on the course, maybe during our meet and greet.

  ‘What made you pick Fian for your tag support?’ asked Playdon.

  I was still a bit of a mess from my panic earlier, but I’d regained enough sense not to mention Fian’s resemblance to Arrack San Domex. ‘He seemed sensible and intelligent, sir.’

  ‘He is. Any suggestions for team 2 members?’

  I pointed out a couple of Deltans, and Kai from Gamma.

  ‘Interesting,’ said Playdon. ‘I’d considered two of them myself, but I hadn’t thought of Kai.’

  ‘She’s quiet, but very bright. I was thinking she might be good on sensors,’ I said.

  Playdon nodded. ‘I’ll add them to my list and see if your instinct is right again.’

  He went off and collected a group of impact suit clad figures together. There were ten of them, so Playdon was obviously trying to fill places on both team 2 and team 3. He spent a long time talking to them, and I was glad of the chance to sit in peace and recover from my emotional overload.

  Team 1 spent the rest of that morning training Playdon’s candidates for teams 2 and 3. My job was to teach four of them how to use tag guns and hover belts. Playdon must be unsure which of the four had the makings of a tag leader, or possibly thinking ahead to teams 4 and 5. Teaching a novice how to point and fire a tag gun is straightforward, apart from the constant hazard of ricochets from badly aimed tags, but I was still relieved when it was time to head back to the dome. I’d been very tired when we set out for the dig site, and after my panic attack over losing key spot, and the usual strain of working in an impact suit for several hours, I felt on the point of collapse.

  I actually lay down on the transport sled for the trip back, which helped a bit, but I clearly still didn’t look too good when I took off my suit, because I found Dalmora lying in wait for me when I came out of the shower.

  ‘Jarra, are you ill?’

  I just wanted to be left alone, but I could see she was genuinely concerned, so I could hardly tell her to nuke off. ‘I’m just tired,’ I said. ‘I didn’t sleep well.’

  I regretted my words the minute I’d said them. I was an utter nardle. I’d just told Dalmora that I’d had a sleepless night after Krath’s ape joke. I might just as well put up a banner telling people I was an ape. I hastily came out with an excuse.

  ‘I was caught by a few rocks when that wall collapsed yesterday morning. I’ve got impact suit bruising, and it�
��s very sore.’

  Dalmora frowned. ‘You should go to Hospital Earth America Casualty and get it checked.’

  ‘It’s only bruising,’ I said, heading down the corridor to my room.

  She followed me, not just down the corridor but into my room, and stood there silently with folded arms.

  I sighed. ‘Dalmora, it’s only a bruise. Look.’

  I tugged aside the edge of my skintight to show part of a deep black and blue bruise on my left side, which had the distinctive crosshatched lines left by impact suit material triggering hard. It wasn’t particularly significant or painful. I was a tag leader, so I just about always had at least one major impact suit bruise, as well as a scattering of the small brown circular bruises left by ricocheting tags, but Dalmora had obviously never seen anything like it before.

  ‘That looks awful. You should get it treated.’

  There was no real need to make a fuss about it, impact suit bruises always look more dramatic than they are, but since it was the perfect explanation for anything odd in my behaviour …

  ‘There’s no need for me to go to casualty, but it does hurt, so could you do me a favour and ask Playdon for a size 7 fluid patch.’

  ‘A size 7 fluid patch.’ Dalmora repeated the words.

  She vanished off out of the door. There was no point in getting dressed, so I tugged on a robe, sat on my bed, and waited. After a few minutes, Dalmora came back, and I was startled to see she’d brought Playdon with her.

  ‘Dalmora tells me you were hurt yesterday, Jarra,’ he said. ‘You should have told me at once.’

  Chaos take it, my simple excuse was getting out of hand. Fortunately … ‘It’s only an impact suit bruise, sir, just one of the sore ones. I’d show you, but it’s under my skintight so …’

  I swear the man actually blushed. ‘I didn’t mean to imply … You’re sure you haven’t cracked a rib?’

  ‘Perfectly sure, sir. I’ve cracked a rib once, and I know how it feels. This is just a bad bruise.’