While We’re Far Apart

by Lynn Austin

  “Well, he plays a lot better than I ever could. I can’t even read music. Now let’s hear you play something, Esther.”

  Again she felt a stubborn unwillingness to cooperate with Penny. She shook her head.

  “I’ll scrub the bathroom sink for you, if you do,” Penny said, winking at Peter. Esther still refused.

  Peter slid off the bench and pulled the feather duster out of Esther’s hand, tugging her toward the keyboard, his big eyes pleading with her to play. She wondered if it would help him start talking again – if his silence had anything to do with the piano that had stood mute for so long. She decided to try it and see, performing for her brother, not Penny.

  Esther dug through the collection of lesson books until she found the one she had been using a year ago. She thought she could smell her mother’s cologne as she riffled through the pages. Her mother had written notes at the top of the pages, recording the date of each lesson and making a check mark when Esther had completed it to her satisfaction. Esther chose an easy piece near the beginning of the book and began to play – and for those few, brief moments it seemed as though Mama sat right there on the bench beside her. She remembered how her mother used to run her hand through her hair as she watched Esther play, hair that had been the same rich mahogany brown color as the piano.

  Esther played the next piece, and the next, lost in the music and in the memories of her mother. When she glanced at Peter she saw him sitting cross-legged on the rug, listening with his eyes closed. Esther felt tears stinging her eyes as she finished the song. Would she ever stop missing her mother?

  She lifted her hands from the keyboard and closed the lid.

  CHAPTER 11

  IT WAS SUNDAY MORNING and Penny couldn’t get Esther out of bed for church. “Why do we have to go? It’s a waste of time,” she complained. “Why can’t we sleep in, instead?”

  Penny did everything but yell and utter threats to make her get up. “You aren’t doing this for me, Esther. I promised your father that I would take you and Peter to church, every week. You don’t want to disappoint your father, do you?” Esther finally gave in, but she moved so slowly that they barely made it to the church on time.

  Afterward, the three of them walked in silence to the duplex that Eddie’s mother shared with Penny’s parents. Penny had grown to dread spending Sunday afternoons with her parents, but today she had a different concern. She was desperate to get Peter talking again before Eddie came home on leave, and she needed Grandma Shaffer’s help and advice to do it. Mrs. Shaffer stood waiting on her back porch as Penny and the children arrived.

  “Can I talk to you alone?” Penny whispered while the kids galloped off after the dog.

  “Don’t get your Sunday clothes all dirty,” Mrs. Shaffer called to them before turning to Penny. “What’s the matter?”

  “I’m worried about Peter. He hasn’t spoken to me or anyone else since his father went away, including his teacher and his school friends. He doesn’t even talk to Esther. It’s probably my fault, but I don’t know what to do about it. I need your advice. Do you think I should take him to see a doctor?”

  “I told Eddie this would happen. I told him! This is exactly why I didn’t want to take care of those kids myself.” Mrs. Shaffer suddenly sounded breathless, as if she had been running around the yard with the children. “I don’t know what to do about him. How am I supposed to know what to do?”

  Penny knew she had made a terrible mistake. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Shaffer. I didn’t mean to upset you or worry you. His teacher thinks he’ll be okay, and he is fine except for not talking. I just thought I should let you know – ”

  “I’m not well, you know. My husband is gone, all three of my sons are in harm’s way, and now this?”

  “I know, I know. I’m sorry, Mrs. Shaffer.” Penny took the older woman’s arm to lead her toward a chair so she could sit down. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I just thought – ”

  “Did you write and tell Eddie? Did you ask him what to do?”

  “Not yet. I didn’t want him to worry. I keep hoping that Peter will get over it before Eddie comes home.”

  Mrs. Shaffer pulled her arm from Penny’s grasp, refusing to sit. “You want me to talk to Peter? Is that it?”

  “I . . . I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t know what to do. I just thought that I should tell you about the problem since you’re his grandma. You don’t have to say anything to him . . . and please don’t worry.”

  “Tell the children their lunch is ready.” Grandma Shaffer turned and stomped into her house. Penny sighed. She had made a mess of things again. She called to the kids, telling them to go inside with their grandmother, then trudged over to her side of the duplex. Her mother stood watching from the kitchen window.

  “I certainly hope you were able to talk some sense into Mrs. Shaffer this week,” she said as Penny came through the door. “It’s time she fulfilled her responsibilities toward those children.”

  “She can’t take care of them by herself, Mother. Her health isn’t very good. Besides, she would have trouble managing all the stairs in Eddie’s apartment.”

  “How much longer are you going to run yourself ragged this way? You look terrible, Penny. For no earthly reason. Why in the world did you get involved in all this nonsense in the first place? I warned you that it was a foolish idea. Why couldn’t you be happy with the way things were?”

  “I promised Eddie I would help him. He didn’t have anyone else.” She had repeated the same refrain for weeks, yet Mother never seemed to hear it. Nor was she listening now. Penny wished she could turn to her mother for advice, not only about the children but about whether or not to sign up for drivers’ training at the bus company. She had been trying to make up her mind ever since Mr. Whitney first mentioned it, but she still wasn’t convinced that she could do it. Her mother was the last person Penny could go to for the boost of self-confidence she needed.

  “Would you like me to set the table?” Penny asked when she saw it hadn’t been set.

  “We don’t sit at the table anymore, now that you’ve left us. It’s too much bother. We can eat from trays in the living room just as well. Your father likes to listen to the news about the war.”

  Penny turned and saw nothing cooking on the stove. Mother hadn’t prepared any food. “Do you need help making lunch?”

  “What do you think? Of course I need help! How am I supposed to fix a big meal now that you’ve gone running off? I can barely do the shopping every week with all the nonsense they put us through with those ration coupons. Sure, you gladly help the neighbors out, but how about helping your own parents?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were having trouble shopping.” She hurried to the pantry and opened the door. “What shall I fix? I could peel some potatoes. Father likes potatoes, doesn’t he?”

  Suddenly the Shaffers’ back door slammed shut with a mighty bang that rattled the windows. A moment later, someone pounded on Penny’s kitchen door. She dropped the sack of potatoes and ran to answer it, fearing a catastrophe. Esther stood on the doorstep. She didn’t look frightened or injured; she looked furious.

  “I want to go home. Take us home right now please.”

  Penny went outside to talk to her, closing the door so Mother wouldn’t overhear them. “We can’t go home yet, Esther. You haven’t even had time to eat your lunch or visit with your grandma.”

  “I don’t want to visit with her.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Grandma started yelling at Peter because he won’t talk, telling him to stop being naughty. She said she would spank him with the paddle if he doesn’t stop playing games. I tried to tell her that Peter can’t help it, but she won’t listen to me.”

  “Come on.” Penny grabbed Esther’s hand as they hurried next door. Peter sat slumped at the table with his head buried in his arms. His shoulders heaved with silent sobs. Mrs. Shaffer looked red in the face as she paced back and forth in the tiny space between pi
les of old newspapers. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Shaffer,” Penny said. “I never meant to cause all this trouble. What can I do? How can I help?”

  “Take us home,” Esther said from behind Penny.

  “You want to leave?” Grandma Shaffer asked. “Fine! Go home! . . . Go on, get out!” Peter leaped up at her words and scurried out the door.

  “Mrs. Shaffer, please . . . I’m so sorry . . .”

  “You too, Penny. Go home!” Mrs. Shaffer stalked away, weaving through her living room and slamming her bedroom door.

  Penny felt sick. What a mess she had made. She didn’t know whom to comfort first, but since Mrs. Shaffer had kicked her out, she hurried after Esther and Peter. They were off the porch and walking toward the back gate before Penny could shut the kitchen door. “Wait!” she called, running to catch up with them. “I’ll take you home, if that’s what you want. But I need to tell my parents first. Wait right here.”

  She ran up her own porch steps and into the kitchen to retrieve her purse. “I’m sorry, Mother. Something has come up, and we need to go back to the apartment right away.”

  “What did you do now?”

  Tears filled Penny’s eyes. Her mother was right, of course. This mess was all Penny’s fault. It was always her fault. She never should have told Mrs. Shaffer about Peter. Now it was too late. “I’ll call and explain it to you later. Tell Dad I said good-bye.”

  “You haven’t eaten anything! What about – ?”

  “I’m sorry.” She closed the door on her mother’s protests and hurried back to the children.

  They were gone.

  Penny opened the gate and ran around to the front of the house in time to see Esther and Peter jogging up the street, half a block ahead of her, heading toward the bus stop. “Wait up,” she hollered. “Wait for me!” She saw a bus coming and ran faster, but the children never stopped. When the bus halted at the corner, they boarded it without her. She saw the door close as the bus pulled away from the curb.

  “No, wait!” Penny ran as fast as she could, waving her arms frantically, but the driver must not have seen her. Why didn’t the kids tell him to wait? She sprinted down the street behind the bus, wild with fear. Just when she thought she couldn’t run anymore, the bus halted and the door opened. She staggered toward it and climbed aboard, gasping for breath. “Thank you . . . thank you for stopping . . .”

  The children sat in the back of the bus, ignoring her as she fed coins into the slots with shaking fingers. She would have liked to take a paddle to both of them, but she didn’t have the strength.

  “Hey – Miss Penny Goodrich, right?”

  She looked up at the sound of her name and saw a familiar marine sitting by the window near the front. Roy Fuller greeted her with a grin. She had seen him several times in the past few weeks, riding on the same bus that she took to and from work, but they hadn’t been close enough to talk to each other since the time he’d given up his seat for her. She was surprised that he remembered her name, but then she had remembered his.

  “Yeah. Hi,” she said weakly. She fell into the seat beside him as the bus lurched forward.

  “I saw someone running to catch the bus, but I didn’t realize it was you. I told the driver to hold up.”

  “Thank you. Those kids scared me half to death getting on the bus without me that way.”

  “Are they with you?” he asked, tilting his head in their direction. Penny nodded, embarrassed to admit that she was responsible for such rude, ill-behaved children. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see that the kids were defying her authority, ignoring her, running away from her.

  “I don’t know what got into them, running off on their own like that. I never dreamed they would get on the bus and ride away without me. Thank you for telling the driver to stop. It would have been another twenty minutes before the next bus came along, and who knows what would have happened to them, riding around Brooklyn on their own.”

  “I’m happy to help. You okay?”

  “Yeah . . .” She exhaled. Then, as her tears began to fall, she shook her head. “No. I’m having a terrible day.”

  “Aw, it’ll be okay,” he soothed, patting her arm. “It must be hard raising two kids all alone with your husband in the service.”

  “They’re not mine. I’m taking care of them for . . .” She turned to make sure they were out of earshot, then said softly, “For the man I hope to marry. Their mother died, and they aren’t used to me trying to take her place yet.”

  “Which branch of the service is he in?”

  She pulled out a handkerchief and dried her eyes, grateful to Roy for distracting her with conversation. “The army. He’s a mechanic. In his last letter he said that he would probably be shipped to England to work in the motor pool after he finishes basic training.”

  “I wish the Marines would ship me someplace exciting. I thought I’d get to see the world when I joined up. Instead, they assigned me to the Brooklyn Navy Yard.”

  “I hear the Marines are fighting really hard on all those little islands in the Pacific. You wouldn’t want to be there, would you? Wouldn’t your family worry about you?”

  “Yeah, I guess so. My girlfriend worries about me all the time as it is, and I’m only stationed in Brooklyn. She thinks it’s dangerous here.”

  “Where are you from?”

  “I grew up in a small town near Scranton, Pennsylvania, called Moosic.”

  “Music? That’s a funny name for a town.”

  “No, it’s spelled M-o-o-s-i-c. Moosic. You want to see my girl’s picture? Her name’s Sally.” He leaned against Penny for a moment as he reached into his back pocket for his wallet. He showed her two photographs: a close-up of Sally that might have been a graduation picture, and one of her and Roy with their arms around each other.

  She looked very young, and Roy looked very happy.

  “She’s beautiful,” Penny said, handing them back.

  “I know! She’s the prettiest girl in Pennsylvania. I can’t believe she chose me.” He leaned into her again as he maneuvered his wallet back into his pocket. “I hope to marry her after the war.”

  And after the war maybe Eddie would marry her. Penny drew a calming breath as she remembered why she had volunteered for this job in the first place. She needed to keep that bigger goal in mind in order to get through the bad days. That was what the newspapers kept saying about this endless war they were fighting. If people kept the bigger goal of defeating the enemy in mind, they could face all the daily difficulties like rationing, long lines, and shortages, not to mention the worry and fear for their loved ones’ safety.

  “Tell me about your girlfriend, Roy.” She listened as Roy described how he had known Sally for a while but they finally had started dating after meeting up at a mutual friend’s picnic. Sally wanted to be a beautician and hoped to own her own beauty parlor someday. Talking with Roy helped Penny to calm down and forget her own troubles for a while.

  “This is our stop,” she said when they reached Eddie’s neighborhood. “It was nice talking to you, Roy. And thanks again for stopping the bus for me.”

  Penny made sandwiches for the kids when they got home, then called her mother to try to explain why they had left in such a hurry. She didn’t mention that Peter couldn’t talk. Why make things worse?

  She spent the afternoon writing a long, chatty letter to Eddie, leaving out her problems with Peter and Esther and his mother. Penny could well imagine the horrible stories that Esther and Peter wrote about her, but she never read the letters they sent to their father or the ones that he sent to them.

  The long Sunday afternoon seemed as though it would never end. The terrible scene with Grandma Shaffer and the incident with the bus had upset all of them. Penny went to bed early, determined to take a deep breath and start all over again with a brand-new week.

  It was a relief to go to work on Monday and take her place on her familiar stool behind her usual window at the bus terminal. This job used to seem hectic to Penny,
but it was simple compared to raising children. The pace had just slowed down after the morning rush when Mr. Whitney stopped by to see her.

  “You all set to start drivers’ training, Miss Goodrich? Got your birth certificate?”

  Penny struck her forehead in dismay. What a scatterbrain! She not only hadn’t decided about the job, but she had never returned to the records’ office for her birth certificate. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Whitney, but I haven’t had time to go back to the records’ office – ”

  “Why didn’t you say so? I’ll give you an extra half hour for lunch today if you want. You can have more time, if you need it.”

  Penny ate her lunch on the bus on her way to the records’ office. She trudged up the steps of the building, wishing she knew how to say no to people and to stand up for herself. How could she turn down Mr. Whitney’s offer now after he’d been so nice and encouraging to her, giving her time off like this – twice? He needed drivers and he was counting on her.

  She might as well try the drivers’ training classes, she decided as she waited in line for her birth certificate. The instructor would probably realize right away that Penny couldn’t drive – hopefully before she crashed one of their buses or ran over somebody – and then she could go back to being a cashier again. Of course that meant no pay increase and no apartment of her own. If Eddie didn’t marry her, she would have to move back home with her parents. The thought depressed her.

  She handed the clerk the receipt when it was finally her turn. “I ordered a copy of my birth certificate? My name is Penny Sue Goodrich?”

  The clerk paged through a stack of papers before finding it. “Here it is. We had a lot of trouble with this, Miss Goodrich. You could have saved us a great deal of bother if you would have mentioned that you were adopted.”

  Penny shook her head. “You must have me confused with someone else. I’m not adopted.”

  The clerk frowned and studied the paper again. “Your name is Penny Sue Goodrich, right?”