Accidental Lies: An unputdownable, steamy, sexy contemporary romance novel

by Mason, Dana

  Drew: Are you home yet?

  Drew: Let me know you’re okay.

  I reply straight away.

  Me: I’m home and fine.

  Drew: We need to talk properly. Let’s meet tomorrow.

  Me: I need some time to think. Let’s wait a few days. We can both use the time to clear our heads.

  Drew: Don’t shut me out, Emily. I’m sorry I freaked out, but there’s a history you don’t know about. We need to talk.

  Me: I know we need to. I just need some time.

  As I sink down onto the couch, a lump forms in my throat. I’m so glad he’s not here. I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to maintain my resolve to get some space from him if he were in front of me… but then my phone rings. Drew’s face pops up on my caller ID. I stare at it for a second before answering.

  “Hi.”

  “I’m sorry for freaking out. Really. And I don’t want to freak you out either.”

  “Thank you for apologizing, but too fucking late, Drew. Seriously, if I had any doubts about you not wanting more children, I don’t any longer.” When I realize I’m crying, I stop talking and take a deep breath.

  “Emily, it’s not that. This—my reaction—has nothing to do with wanting or not wanting more children.”

  “Drew, I need some space. I told you that. Please. I promise I won’t shut you out, but I just need some time to adjust to the situation, and I can’t think when you’re close.”

  “Emily, I need to know that you’re not going to do anything drastic.”

  I sit straight up and wonder what he means. Is he worried I’ll run off and have an abortion without telling him? Can he really believe that of me?

  “I’m not going to do anything drastic—I wouldn’t. Besides that, the only real reassurance I can give you is to tell you I love you… and I do.” Once the words are out, I know they’re true, and I know having a baby without him isn’t what I want. I can do it alone, I don’t need him, but God, I want him. As hard as it is to admit, I wanted the fairytale. I wanted him to be excited over having a baby. I wanted him to grab me and lift me off my feet, spin me in a circle and smile wide, showing me his beautiful dimples.

  I didn’t want him to apologize for getting me into trouble.

  I guess fairytales don’t exist and that’s a fact I have to accept.

  I hear him sigh into the phone. “That’s enough for now. I’ll give you the space you need and… see you on Tuesday.” He pauses for a moment. “If you need me… or anything until then, I’m here.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Wait, Emily?”

  “What?” I say, quickly wiping the tears from my face.

  “I just want you to know, I don’t always do or say the right thing, but I do love you too.”

  Then he’s gone.

  * * *

  When I park behind our building, I see that Drew’s truck is already there. My stomach flutters with nervous energy. I’ve missed him so much over the last couple of days. It reminded me of those last few days in Hawaii, only I couldn’t drink my way through it this time.

  Before I left for work this morning, I gave a disgusted last glance around my house. It’s horrible, and I still haven’t unpacked. I worked all day yesterday and most of the evening last night, but spent almost all of Sunday in bed. I picked up a book on what to expect when you’re pregnant and I feel a little better now that I know it’s perfectly normal to be so tired in the first trimester. Once I reach the second trimester, I should have more energy and damn, am I looking forward to that.

  I enter through the back door, and Drew is in the kitchen taking measurements. He looks over quickly when he sees me and the relaxed expression disappears from his face. This does absolutely nothing for my ego.

  “Morning.” He turns to face me. “I thought I’d keep busy until you got here.”

  “Smart thinking,” I reply, but before I can say any more, I hear Eddie calling me from the other room.

  “Emily, is that you?” He peeks his head in. “I have a stack of messages for you, and Mrs. Patterson has called three times.”

  I walk over and grab the handful of message slips. “Mrs. Patterson needs to wait her turn. I have a meeting I’m already late for.”

  “All right, boss. I’ll put the coffee on.”

  “Make mine herbal tea, please.”

  Eddie stops and turns slowly. “Did you just ask for herbal tea?” His eyebrows are raised as he looks me up and down. “Are you ill?”

  “Yes, on the tea, and no, I’m not ill. Is there something with, like… orange and clove? That sounds good to me right now.” I turn from Eddie. “Drew, are you ready to meet or should we give you a few minutes?”

  “I have the updated designs already hanging in the conference room,” he says, gesturing toward the hall.

  “Great. Give me five minutes to put my stuff down in my office, and I’ll meet you there.” I walk away and as I reach the top of the steps, I hear him coming up too.

  “Do you want to talk personal business first, or building business?” he asks, once we’re inside my office.

  “Um…” I set my bags down and open the blinds to brighten the space. “Drew, Bec and I agree we want you to work on our building regardless of our personal business.” I expected this to please him, but his expression doesn’t change, and I really wish I knew what he was thinking. “On that note, I think maybe building business first. Is that okay?”

  “I’m going to have a hard time concentrating without talking first, but I’ll try.”

  His reserved manner is so unlike him, but I realize it’s not him. He’s feeding off my coldness. I try to lighten up and smile at him.

  “Yes, I know, but I have a feeling it’s not going to be any easier to concentrate after we talk either so it’s best to just get work out of the way.” I turn and face him fully, so he knows I’m trying my best to give him what he needs.

  The chill radiating from both of us is achingly painful. So unlike the picture of a happy couple expecting a baby. It’s hard to be in a room with him without thinking about how he and I have created life and how incredibly special that is. Or how incredibly painful it is that I finally know what I want and realize I’ll have to do it alone. Over the weekend I did a lot of soul-searching. I thought a lot about being a mother, about how much my life is going to change. I’m ready for it. I’ve spent the last four years alone and working more hours than not. I want a family. I want this child… and I want Drew… but now he seems like the impossible dream.

  I hear Rebecca’s footsteps clicking outside my office. Then she pokes her head in. “Are we ready to talk remodel?”

  I glance at Drew, eyebrows raised.

  He nods. “Yep, let’s do this.”

  We spend the next ninety minutes going over the designs for the space. It’s excellent work, and we wrap up by adding more meetings to the calendar to look at flooring and furniture. Drew shows us samples of his woodwork and his ideas for the molding, new handrails on the stairs, and color samples for stripping and re-staining the woodwork. I’m so happy with it, I can barely contain my excitement.

  “Okay, well, I know you guys have some stuff to deal with, so I’ll get out of your way,” Rebecca says.

  When she’s gone, Drew starts rolling up the designs and collecting the samples he brought with him. I’m nervous, and it shows in my inability to sit still.

  “Do you want to meet me in my office when you’re done?”

  He looks up from the box he’s packing. “Yeah, give me about ten minutes.”

  I quietly leave the room and head upstairs, so nervous my hands are shaking. I enter my office and try to breathe deeply as I pace… waiting for Drew.

  Thirty-Five

  Drew

  I’m so nervous about talking to Emily that I feel sick. I’m hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. All I can do is tell her everything and hope she understands my crazy behavior. If she’ll just give me a chance. After locking up my truck, I walk slowl
y up the stairs, and my hesitation is starting to make me feel ridiculous. What do I have to be afraid of… besides losing her?

  No. That’s not going to happen. I won’t let it.

  I lift my chin and walk into her office like I own the joint. It’s the best I can do. If I can’t be confident, I’ll have to pretend.

  “Want to talk over lunch?” I ask as I enter her office.

  “Hum, maybe lunch after we talk,” she suggests.

  I drop into the little loveseat in her office. I refuse to sit in one of the chairs facing her desk as if this is a business transaction. It isn’t. This is my life we’re talking about. Her life and the life of our child.

  She follows my cue and walks over and sits in the chair across from me. Then she links her fingers in front of her. She seems nervous too, and this makes me feel better.

  “Drew, I know this was sprung on you without warning. Truth be told, I was going to wait to tell you, but I decided to be honest about it, especially after finding out about Kyle and Hannah.” She focuses her eyes on me and I think it’s to gauge my reaction. “Honestly, I knew you wouldn’t want a baby, I just didn’t know it was because you already had a family.”

  “I appreciate you telling me, I would rather know something like this right away. But Emily—”

  “I realize that another child––a baby––wasn’t part of your life plan, and I understand if you’re upset about it, but I want you to know, I was just as surprised as you are at the news.”

  “Emily, most babies aren’t planned.”

  Sadness flashes in her eyes. “Tucker always wanted children… I didn’t. At least not when he was here. I wanted to wait… Then he was gone, and I realized I had waited too long, and in doing so, deprived him of something he wanted desperately. I have trouble forgiving myself for that.”

  “I’m sorry. I understand that must be hard for you, but don’t you think he’d rather you live without regret?” I lean closer. “Emily, I heard the speech. Tucker doesn’t sound like the type of guy who would want you to sit around and mourn opportunities that have long since expired.”

  She purses her lips and nods. “You’re right. He would hate that I feel bad about this. He would hate that it took me nearly four years to find someone else to love. He would hate that I’m hesitant and too cautious, but I need to do what’s right for me and now my baby.”

  “I agree with that too… we both need to do what’s right for our baby.” I hesitate, trying to get my thoughts in order before speaking. When I focus on her face again, I realize the absolute best thing I can do is be honest with her.

  “I’m sorry for the way I reacted when you told me. I was completely surprised and I’m sure my reaction wasn’t what you were expecting.”

  “What I was expecting, what I wanted, and reality are all very different things. Life doesn’t always go as expected, I already know that… in fact, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected.”

  “I know that too, more than you realize.”

  “Drew, I’m trying to tell you that I’m not going to force you into being a father to this child. I didn’t intend to get pregnant any more than you intended it to happen, but it did happen, and I’m moving forward. At first, I was upset and unsure, but now that I know for sure that I’m pregnant, I know I want this baby, and I’m actually excited about being a mother.”

  The lack of happiness on her face throws me off. She’s telling me she’s excited but she’s frowning. I gesture to myself. “I don’t think you really do understand my feelings on this… at least not…” I stop because I’m not sure where to begin. “Listen, I need to explain some things to you. I need you to understand.”

  She stands to pace the room. Her hands are shaking and when I see her link her fingers and lock her hands together, it almost scares me.

  “Drew, it’s simple, really. I can take care of the paperwork for you. All you’ll have to do is sign a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights and then you won’t have to worry about it again.”

  As my brain processes what she’s just said, heat rises in my body. Memories of fighting with my in-laws, hours spent dealing with lawyers and in courtrooms… the anxiety I suffered while trying to prove I was worthy of my own children—all while mourning my wife—it all storms my senses and immediately puts me on the defensive.

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” It comes out louder than I intend, but I’m too angry to care. “You’re fucking joking with this shit, right? Right, Emily?”

  “Drew, I just want you to know that if you don’t want this baby, I’m not forcing you, I’m trying to give you a clean out—without the guilt. I understand if this isn’t what you want and I won’t judge you for it.”

  I get to my feet now, completely unable to sit still. “I thought we were going to talk, yet you haven’t heard a fucking word I’ve said. Not one word, Emily. You don’t know anything about me. Yet, you’re so sure I don’t want my own child—why? Because it’s easier for you to believe that? Because you want to believe the worst in me without even giving me a chance.” I point to her. “Maybe you’re the one who needs an easy out. Why don’t you give up your parental rights?”

  Now I see the anger building in her eyes. “I wouldn’t. This is my baby.”

  “It’s my baby too!” I shout as I tread closer to her. I’m so angry I can barely stand to look at her. “Christ, what? I can walk away because I’m just the father. How dare you assume this is some silly inconvenience for me—like I’m incapable of being a loving parent—what, because I’m a man?”

  She faces me straight on, and I have to admire her calmness because the very last thing I feel is calm. “Drew, that’s not at all what this is about.”

  “No, it’s not? Then what is it, Emily? Because I’m thoroughly confused!”

  “I’m scared!” The words come out in a low shout, almost as if she didn’t want to say them. Her breath catches and she says, “Is that what you want to hear? I’m fucking scared to death—everything I want is so close, yet so completely out of reach. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what you want. I’m reacting to the way you acted. What else can I do with a man who lied about having children? What fucking choice do I have?”

  Before I can respond, my phone rings. Of course, I can’t ignore it because I am a father. I glare at the phone. “Hold on, it’s the nanny.” I take a steady breath in case it’s not Celia but one of the kids. “What’s up?” I answer.

  “Mr. Whitney—it’s Hannah. She’s hurt.”

  My blood runs cold, and I feel a spike of fear drive through me. “What do you mean, she’s hurt? Where are you?”

  I stab my fingers through my hair as I listen to Celia’s crying. I can barely understand her.

  “I have Kyle with me, and we’re on our way to the hospital. Hannah’s been taken by ambulance to UC Davis Medical Center.”

  “Celia, what happened?” As I’m talking, I wrench my keys from my pocket and head down the stairs toward my truck. I don’t hear Emily trailing behind me until I reach the truck and fumble with the keys. My hands are shaking, and I’m having a hard time holding the phone while trying to get the truck door open.

  Before I realize what’s happening, Emily takes the keys from me and points to the passenger seat. “I’ll drive, just tell me where we’re going.”

  “Davis Medical Center,” I say as I rush to the passenger side of the truck. “Celia, you need to pull over, you shouldn’t be driving while you’re this upset.”

  “I’m here already. I just parked.”

  “Okay, now tell me what happened.” My heart is racing, and it’s all I can do to keep from dropping to my knees and begging God to protect my sweet baby girl.

  “We were walking home from the park, and a car jumped the curb and… and…”

  That spike of fear jabs again and I’m almost doubled over with the pain. “She was hit by a car?”

  “Yes, sir,” Celia cries. “I’m so sorry. I… I couldn’t do anything
, Mr. Whitney. It happened so fast.”

  “Celia, I need you to calm down, so you don’t freak Kyle out. Okay? Can you do that?”

  “Yes… but he’s pretty scared.”

  “Let me talk to him.” I hear a muffle as she passes the phone.

  “Daaaad—is Hannah gonna die?”

  This immediately chokes me up. I place my hand over my mouth and hold my breath until it passes. I can’t let him hear me lose it. “Kyle, no.” It’s all I can get out, and I’m struggling to find the right words. It’s so hard for a kid who’s lost his mother. “Listen, buddy, I need you to do me a favor, okay? I have a job for you, okay?” I need to keep him busy, stop him from thinking about the worst possible outcome.

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  “I need you to use Celia’s phone and call Nanna.” Dammit, that’s going to freak her out too. “Kyle, I need you to be strong, so you don’t scare her, okay? Call Nanna and tell her to meet us at the hospital but you have to be calm, so she doesn’t get too scared. Can you do that for me?”

  “Yeah, Dad, I can do that.” I hear his intense focus and the need to be useful and I know he’s going to be all right.

  “Thank you, son. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  I disconnect the call and hit the speed dial to call my sister. “Jennie!”

  “I just heard, one of the moms at the park called me. Is she okay?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not there yet, and Celia was too upset to tell me what happened.” I grit my teeth to keep from breaking down again. “What have you heard?”

  “I don’t know how much is true, but it sounds like the driver suffered a seizure and lost control of the car.”

  “Do you know—what are her injuries?” My voice cracks when I say this and I can hear her break down too.

  “I don’t know, honey, but I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a few minutes, okay?”