Accidental Lies: An unputdownable, steamy, sexy contemporary romance novel

by Mason, Dana

  “She is, Drew. You can count on it.”

  I look around again and my eyes land on Emily, still sitting where she was when I came out. Her eyes are locked on the ground and she looks exhausted. I take a few steps closer to her and say, “Emily, you didn’t have to stay.”

  She clears her throat and nods, her eyes finally lifting to mine. “Of course I did. I couldn’t leave… not without making sure you and Hannah were okay.”

  “I’m sorry you had to drive me, but we’re fine.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and say, “I’ll get you an Uber so you can go home.”

  “Drew…” Jennie says, her eyes narrowing at me.

  “I can’t leave to take her home, Jennie. I’m not leaving Hannah.”

  Emily holds her hand out to stop me as she stands. “It’s okay. Mac will pick me up. I… I don’t want to be in the way. I just wanted to make sure you were both okay before I left.” She reaches into her purse and pulls out my keys. Handing them to me, she turns toward the glass doors.

  “Emily,” Jennie says, stopping her before she can get away. “Thank you so much for sitting with me for so long. I’d have gone stir-crazy waiting by myself.”

  “No, thank you for letting me stay. I would have been at home bouncing off the walls, waiting for news.” Her eyes shift to me then she says, “I’m glad Hannah’s going to be okay. Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all.”

  I watch her leave, torn between my anger and my need for comfort. Because it’s true, I need her here with me. I need the support and comfort more than I want to admit, but I just can’t trust her after today.

  Once the glass doors close behind her, I turn back toward Jennie. “Where is everyone? Who has Kyle?”

  “Mom has Kyle and she also took Celia home.”

  I lift my palm to my forehead. “Oh, crap, Celia. I didn’t even talk to her when I came in. Was she all right?”

  “She’ll be okay, but it wouldn’t hurt to call and check on her later. I’m sure she feels a sense of responsibility since Hannah was in her care.”

  “That could have happened to any of us. It’s amazing she and Kyle weren’t hit as well.”

  “I know, that was my thought too.” She lays a hand on her chest and says, “One of the moms at the park recognized Hannah and called to let me know what had happened. I thought the worst—it really scared me.”

  “Is that how you knew before I did?”

  “Yeah.” Jennie goes quiet, but her piercing blue eyes pin me down. I know she’s irritated with me about Emily, but she doesn’t understand what’s happening. “Why did you treat Emily the way you did? What the hell is wrong with you? She was worried sick about you and Hannah and you just brushed her off like she was in the way here.”

  I press my lips together and nod. “Yeah, well, there’s more to the story than you realize.”

  She crosses her arms over her chest. “Just like there was more to the story than she knew, Drew?” She smacks my arm. “How could you not have told her about Kayla?”

  “Christ, Jennie! Did you talk to her about that?”

  She lifts then drops her hand on her leg. “Well, duh, asshole! I had no choice when she asked if I was Hannah and Kyle’s mom.”

  “Shit, Jennie, I can’t believe you told her.” I walk in a circle in an attempt to calm my aggravation. “Now I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do about her.”

  “Do you ever know what to do?”

  I turn toward her, confused by this question.

  “Seriously. Do you think about everything before you decide? Just follow your heart.”

  “I don’t have the luxury of following my heart.”

  “What about when you met Kayla?”

  “That was different, and you know it. I didn’t have two kids to think about. I was young with nothing to lose. I could jump without thinking then.”

  “Yet, it still worked out.”

  “Emily isn’t the same as Kayla. She’s more thoughtful, more cautious.”

  “Exactly my point, Drew. When you met Kayla, neither of you were thoughtful or cautious, but you certainly are now. Kayla and her carefree ways were perfect for you. At the time you needed that in your life. Maybe Emily is perfect for you now—when you need it.”

  “She’s pushing me away, she doesn’t trust me. I’ve fucked up too much already. I can’t turn back the clock and fix what I’ve done.”

  “You should have told her, Drew.”

  “I tried on several occasions, but it was never the right time.”

  “When is it ever the right time to say my wife died giving birth to my daughter?” she huffs. “You can’t control how people are going to react so stop trying. Just get the damn words out and let the chips fall.”

  “It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t want this life. Look around you, Jenn, she ran out of here the first chance she got.”

  “Now you’re an asshole. She only left because you made it clear you didn’t want her here. You practically threw her out.”

  “I did not! She clearly didn’t want to be here; she only stuck around because she felt obligated.” I try to wave her away and say, “You don’t know what’s going on so you can’t judge.”

  “You mean about her pregnancy?” She gives me an exaggerated nod. “Yeah, I know about the baby. She’s much more forthcoming than you are.”

  “Emily told you she was pregnant?”

  “Yep, but why didn’t you? I know you have to be freaking out about it.”

  “Did she also tell you that she asked me to give up my parental rights?”

  This makes Jennie pause. She stares at me like she doesn’t believe it. “You mean she doesn’t fully trust the guy who lied about his kids? Surprise, surprise.”

  “That was an accident,” I reply before she can say anything else.

  “Drew, all I’m trying to say is, don’t be so quick to give up on her and this relationship. Give it some time. Maybe there’s a reason she doesn’t fully trust you. Maybe she has her own fears, just like you. Maybe you don’t know everything—just like she didn’t know everything. Accident or not, you are the guy who lied to her about having kids. That alone would make any woman hesitant.”

  My phone chimes in my pocket. I pull it free and read a text from Emily.

  Emily: I just made it home. Please keep me posted and let me know how Hannah’s doing.

  Drew: Thank you. I appreciated you staying before, but you didn’t have to. I know you’re probably exhausted.

  Emily: Yes, exhausted but very worried too. Please remember that I’m here if you need anything at all. I want to be here for you.

  I reply saying thank you, but that we’re fine, and I’m wondering if she really means that. I hate that I’m questioning her, but after today, I feel like I have to. I want to rant and scream at her. Just thinking about her being so quick to assume I would want to give up my kid pisses me off beyond belief. She was so quick to believe the worst in me. Have I behaved so badly that her expectations of me are rock bottom? I’ve tried to do the right thing. Yes, I waited to tell her about the kids, that was a mistake, but it doesn’t define who I am. I’m going to have a damn hard time forgetting that she was trying to get me to give up my child.

  Thirty-Eight

  Emily

  I stare at my phone with a frown. It hurts that he doesn’t need me, but it doesn’t surprise me… not after what I did. If I could just talk to him… apologize. He’s got to know that I didn’t want him to give up his parental rights. He must understand that I was just trying to do the right thing by offering him an out—and now I see how stupid I was to even consider asking him to do that. I really am horrible. Bec, Mac, and Kelley tried to tell me on Saturday… I wish I’d listened.

  In the end, none of it matters compared to what’s happening with Hannah. He has much too much to worry about now without me adding to his stress. I need to let it rest for a while.

  When I saw Drew’s reaction to Celia’s phone call, I knew it was ba
d. He could barely hold the keys, much less drive. The worry on his face will haunt me forever. The reminder of what parents go through with their kids is enough to scare away even the strongest person.

  If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit I’m scared to death. After everything, I’m not sure I’m the person Drew needs in his life. Maybe I’m not worthy of having a relationship with his kids. He’s right to be cautious of women… maybe he’s right to be cautious of me. It must be incredibly hard to grow attached to people just to have them reject you because you’re a dad.

  I think about what my mom said about being a single parent, and I understand. But I also understand the other side of it. Taking on a family is daunting. Downright scary…

  I have always considered myself a good and caring person, but I’m even questioning if I’m up for the task. I’m no superhuman. I’m not a mom. I wasn’t even a good wife. Admitting this brings tears to my eyes, but it’s true. I neglected my husband for a career. Every day I spent in the office instead of with Tucker, he reminded me that I just floated through the marriage doing the bare minimum. Now that he’s gone, I know to an extent that he was right. My career was important to me, it still is, but if I had a second chance, I’d find a way to juggle better. Tucker deserved better and so does Drew—so do Hannah and Kyle.

  I stare around my lonely house, thinking that this is what I deserve. I should be alone. Who am I to think that I can be a mom… to think that I can be a wife? I had it and let it go. Tucker is gone because of me. Because I chose a new client over a day out with my guy. Again.

  Maybe if I had gone with him that day, if I’d spent that day with him at the beach, instead of going to work, maybe things would have been different. Maybe he wouldn’t have gone into the water. Maybe he wouldn’t have tried being the hero. Maybe he’d still be here…

  I remember the first few weeks after losing him and how angry I was. Yes, he was a hero, but what about me? What about our life together? I know now that I was projecting. I was actually angry with myself for not being there with him. He died on the shore… and I wasn’t there. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with that.

  I walk down the hall to my bedroom and stand at the foot of my bed. I haven’t slept here since Friday night. I can’t bear to smell Drew on my sheets. I can’t do it. My eyes travel around the room at the mess. What does he even see in me? I’m pathetic.

  I grip the base of the sheet and rip it from the mattress, stripping the bed. I pile the linens and kick them into the hall. Then I gather the laundry lying around the basket and shove it in. I grab my shoes and line them in the closet. A couple of pairs are missing. I look around the floor and my eyes land on the suitcase I haven’t unpacked yet.

  I walk over, tug the shoes free, and return them to the closet. Maybe if I can get this house back in order, my mind and body will feel better. I put fresh sheets on the bed and throw the rest of the linens in the washer. Then I stand and stare at the suitcase. I need to do it. The reminders of Drew are going to hurt but I need to get my shit together, and I can’t do it without facing this task.

  I lift the flap and gather the laundry. I take out the few souvenirs I bought and place them on the dresser. Then I check all the pockets and tug the zipper. That’s when I find an envelope.

  I take it out and read the script, heart thudding.

  When you’ve decided you can no longer live without me, open this. Love, Drew

  I stare at it, confused. When did he put this in here?

  Lowering myself to the bed, I rip the flap open and pull out a greeting card with a Hawaiian sunset on it. The front of it reads I miss you. My jaw drops. Did Drew sneak this in before leaving Maui?

  “That sneaky bastard,” I murmur with a smile.

  I open the card, and I’m greeted with a full page of writing.

  Dearest Emily,

  Let me start with an apology. I tried to respect your wishes, but I’m afraid I’m a weak man. I knew right away that I wouldn’t be happy without you in my life. I fought hard against it, but my heart wanted you.

  I realize as I write this that I have our one little rule to blame for not only losing you but for loving you. I know it sounds odd, but without that stupid rule, there’s a possibility I’d have you in my life right now. But, without that rule, without our inability to talk about real life, work, friends, lovers, kids, whatever happened outside of Maui, I might not have had the opportunity to know the real you. I’d only know the woman who hid behind her tight bun, business suits, and grief.

  That’s not who you are.

  I know, without a doubt, that if I’d learned about where you live and what you do for a living before experiencing you, I would have missed out on the really important stuff. So, I am painfully grateful for losing you because, without the loss, I would have missed you.

  You’re vibrant, fun, and easy to love. You’re funny and smart, and you have an openness I believe most people don’t get to experience because you hide behind that take-no-shit façade. You expect the worst from people, I see that too. Breaking our one rule with this letter may prove your worst expectations about me to be correct, but I don’t care because I am breaking the rule – I have to.

  Enclosed is my address and all my contact information. PLEASE USE IT because I miss you and I don’t want to live without you.

  Yours truly,

  Drew Whitney

  With blurry, tear-filled eyes, I flip the card over to find his address and phone number. I read it again and feel the heaviness of his words.

  He sees me.

  This isn’t a new revelation. I’ve known this almost since the moment I met him. Drew sees me. Something nobody else has ever done. Grant looked through me from the beginning. Tucker looked past me to what he wanted me to be… to what he wanted us to be. Yes, I neglected him for my career, but he also never understood how important that career was to me. I think about all the time I’ve spent with Drew. The things he observed that always surprised me: knowing I needed to let loose and relax my first night in Hawaii; knowing I needed to spend time at the beach and work past my hesitation about getting in the water; recognizing my grief even before he knew about Tucker; even guessing my profession just from a conversation… and then I used it against him.

  How could I be so judgmental and short-sighted, cruel and accusing? I never once tried to give him the benefit of the doubt… at least not to his face. “Oh Drew, I’m so sorry,” I say aloud to the empty room.

  I hold the card to my chest, and I know in my heart, I’d forgive him anything right now. Hopefully, he still feels the same about me. Somehow, I’ll find a way to make this up to him. Somehow, I need to be worthy of him… and his family. But first, I need to get my life in order. I need to stop the nonsense, stop feeling sorry for myself. What’s to pity when a man like Drew loves me… for me?

  Thirty-Nine

  Drew

  “Why can’t I go to school, Daddy?” Hannah whines as I lay her on the couch. The child has been counting the days until school starts, and now that it’s here, she can’t go. It’s heartbreaking.

  “Honey, you can’t possibly feel like being at school today. Doesn’t your head and your arm hurt?”

  “But, Daddy, it’s the first day. I’m supposed to be there. My friends are there and what about my new teacher?”

  “They all know why you’re not there, Hannah, don’t worry.”

  She tries to sit up and winces.

  “See, you’re in pain. You can’t go to school this week. Maybe you’ll be well enough next week.”

  I walk back into the kitchen to grab Kyle’s lunch, and as I hand it to him, he says, “Can I stay home with you guys?”

  “Kyle, you can’t miss the first day of school, and you know that. Can you please try to make this easier on me?”

  He crams the lunch into his backpack and zips it closed with just enough force to let me know he’s not happy with me.

  “Don’t complain to me when you have to eat a sm
ashed sandwich for lunch. It’s your own fault.”

  He shrugs at me and walks away. Jesus, he’s not even a teenager yet.

  “Hello?” I hear from the open front door.

  “Come on in, Celia.”

  She comes in and heads straight for Hannah. “Hannah Banana! I’m so happy to see you. You scared the life out of me.”

  “Celia!” Hannah stretches her good arm out for a hug and the two embrace for a long time. When Celia gets to her feet, I grab her too.

  “I’m so glad you were there for her. Thank you for taking care of my little one.”

  “I was so scared. I felt so helpless,” she says when she draws back.

  “You did everything right. I hope you know that.”

  She nods, and I sense she’s a little choked up, so I change the subject. “I’ll be working from home today and probably for the rest of the week to be with Hannah. I’m hoping you can still handle school drop-off and pick up for Kyle.”

  “Of course. I’ll pick him up and help him get any homework done.” She gives me a thumbs-up. “I’ve gotcha covered, Mr. Whitney.” The girl’s enthusiasm makes me want to hug her again. What would I do without her?

  “Thank you, sincerely, Celia.”

  “No problem.” She looks over at Kyle. “You ready to go?”

  “I guess so.”

  “Hey, I saw Jared walking. We can try to catch him and see if he wants to ride with us.”

  “Cool. Let’s go.” And just like that, Kyle’s out the door.

  “Goodbye,” I holler. “Have a good first day.”

  Once they’re gone, I close the door and turn toward Hannah. She’s lying on the couch, on her left side, sound asleep. I snort out a laugh. Sure, she would have been fine at school today.

  I toss a blanket over her and turn the TV to a station I know she’ll like when she wakes up, then I head back to my office.