“We knew you would be on time, so we were late,” Deuce said to me.
“Why were y’all late?”
“You know Lance was hungry.”
“I had to get a snack from the cafeteria. You know we going to the hospital and it don’t smell right in there. I wanted to be full. Aren’t we supposed to bring flowers to the sick and shut-in?” Lance joked.
On the way over Coach Moss remained distant. I did feel bad about letting him down and I did want to tell him what I thought about Mario, because I wasn’t sure but it could have been a whole lot more of a big deal. I knew I just needed to pray for Mario. When we got to the hospital the three of us were talking loud, not intentionally. Just three guys joking.
“Shh!” the chaplain said harshly. We could tell by his demeanor that if he had a switch we would get a whooping.
“I hate hospitals,” Lance said.
“I’m not too fond of them either,” Deuce chimed in. I didn’t say a word but concurred with the both of them.
“Well, you get in front since you don’t have a problem with it,” Lance said, taking my moment of silence as a sign of toughness. At first it was okay. We visited a few kids that were on IVs, we said the right things we needed to say to them, signed some autographs and we were out. No emotional attachment—nothing really big. They had a virus, they took some medicine, and they would be out in a few days. But it wasn’t until we got to the cancer ward that both my roommates lost it. There was this one little girl, bald and pale as could be, with this cute little picture of her beside her bed. She used to have long blond hair.
“The football players are here, Mom, the football boys. I love Buzz,” the little girl said.
Buzz was our mascot and one of the pictures we had of him was already signed. As I turned and saw my guys tear up, I gave her the picture and a hug, after her mom said it was okay. I held it together until I got to the burn unit and I saw this little boy with only one finger remaining on his left hand from a horrible fire, where we heard he lost two of his siblings. He was twelve and he had been home alone cooking.
“I was going to play football this year in the seventh grade. I don’t think I’ll be able to play anymore. I’m sad about that.”
I was sad about it too, and my heart was breaking. As I began to break down he reached for my hand with that one little finger and said, “But you know what’s going to bring me joy?”
I looked up with eyes full of tears.
“Being able to see you play. I still have my eyes. I can still see. Get out there and play for me next year, you’re real bad.” When I walked out of the room I just fell to my knees. I was a part of a fallen world. Man wasn’t perfect and we needed a perfect Savior to rescue us. The tears kept flowing worse than a raging river, and that made me want to be about God’s business. People were hurting, even innocent children, but there was a God who was capable of drying all our tears. When my roommates came over and hugged me it was like feeling an embrace from God. Though I couldn’t see it He had all the babies in this place.
Being a big football player, it was sometimes hard to be vulnerable and show your true emotions. A group of us from Tech and other schools went to a college retreat at Lake Lanier, Georgia. The ACC and SEC chaplains sponsored the event to encourage athletes. Though Savoy had come as well, we were hanging in different groups. Being up there to focus on God helped me feel better than I had in a while. It was praise and worship time; ironically, my sister and Lance’s sister were up there too, doing some kind of duet. They sounded like angels though. As I lifted my hands to the sky I just wanted to connect with God. I wanted Him to know how much I loved Him. I wanted Him to know out of all of what He was doing for me, if He did nothing else I was determined to be satisfied. Then the Clemson chaplain came up and preached. His message was real convincing.
He said, “Yeah, it’s easy for you to be all hyped up about the Lord right now, this is a mountain-top experience. Everything is good, but what happens when you go back to the valley of life? When the classwork is too hard, when you get injured, when the coach benches you, or when the fans aren’t on your side? When you have problems with your parents, when you don’t have enough money to support some of the extra things you want—what happens when you go back to the valley? Will you be able to live for Christ at that moment?”
I sat there listening, just thinking about his question. I couldn’t say for sure that I would, because there had been plenty of times before that I felt charged, that I felt excited about being a Christian, that I promised God that I would do what was right. Then the first opportunity that I had to falter, I fell off, and the consequences that I suffered were a result of bad choices that taught me that I didn’t want to go that way again. I wanted to be better. I wanted to make God proud, I wanted to be victorious.
“So, you might be here thinking, so okay, this is going to be hard; hard when the challenges come, hard to live up to the Lord’s standards when peer pressure hits. What are you going to do when that girl whispers in your ear, fellas? Ladies, what are you going to do when that guy starts to rub all over those pretty legs? I’m keeping it real with you guys because the real temptations do come, and if you are not mentally prepared before the storm there is no way that you are going to survive during it. You know, it’s like down in Florida during hurricane season, if the boards aren’t up on the windows or if the folks don’t have their supplies stocked or if they haven’t left when that heavy tumultuous rain ushers its way into their city, destroying everything in the storm’s path. What if the people there aren’t prepared? They perish. Well, we’re up here today with you guys, filling you up with energy that can hopefully prepare you for what’s ahead.”
Deuce hit my arm and said, “Dang, man, am I going to be able to set the bottle down now and leave it alone for real?”
“You can do it, man,” I looked over and said to him.
The Clemson chaplain continued, “In order to be victorious in Christ you must seek Him and not be afraid that you are His child, let everyone know that you love Him—and a lot of people won’t even let you try. ‘Naw, I can’t mess with so and so. He trying to be a good boy.’ See, folks don’t want to mess with God, you know? The devil particularly, but when you hide your faith and you don’t let anyone know that you are a believer, when you won’t even say that you love God, that’s when the devil knows that you are not that strong. You’ll be easily tempted by the first little carrot he dangles in your face. When you’re feeling sad, fall on your knees and tell Him you need Him, when you’re feeling excited raise your hands up and let Him know that you are praising Him. Whatever is going on inside of you, let it out. Let God love you. He can only do with you what you will let Him do through you.”
“Wow,” I said, feeling like someone had given me the key I needed. I couldn’t wait to get back and just try it. My salvation had nothing to do with no one else and I couldn’t be ashamed of the gospel. I had to proclaim it with every ounce of my being. Lift God up and let Him draw them in. Yeah, I was ready. I hadn’t spent much time with Savoy, and she was up at Lake Lanier also. It was such a romantic place during the winter time, the breeze It was a good place and a good time for showing true feelings.
Following the Soul
I was so busy that weekend that I hadn’t spent that much time with Savoy. She was up at the Lake Lanier conference center as well, and I had just missed her. We had different sessions for the guys and the girls, but now it was time to go back to the central gathering area. I missed her, and it was now time to see if she had gotten as much out of the weekend as I had. On my way to where the girls were hanging out, before I could turn the corner I saw her back, and it looked like two girls were grilling her or something. What is all of this about? I wondered.
Then the tall girl said, “I mean we just want to know, not trying to get into your business or anything, we hear you’re the one dating Perry Skky Jr. He’s fine. Is it true or not?”
“I told you girl, it can’t be
true,” the other one said before Savoy could talk. “If they were dating we would have seen them together, so you wouldn’t mind if we gave him a try, right?”
I braced myself because I didn’t know how my girl was going to respond and I certainly didn’t want her to break down in tears and become all insecure again, like I was going to do her wrong or something. I simply prayed, Help her, Lord.
Then to my surprise Savoy said, “You can go for it, he should be coming through sometime soon. I know we came up together and we’re heading out together.”
“See,” the shorter one said, “she’s not dating him. She wouldn’t have thrown him off on somebody else.”
“Oh, I’m not throwing him off on anybody else. I want to be clear that he is my boyfriend, but we’re here to praise God and I’m not trying to be with him all this weekend. He was doing his thing and I was doing mine. I thought we all came up here to get closer to God, but y’all talking about coming up here and dating somebody else’s man. I’m not trying to say what you did and did not get out of the weekend, but it seems like you might want to rethink that thought. I don’t have Perry on a leash if he has feelings about wanting to be with someone else. No, go for it.”
That was my cue to make her feel more than sure that I was committed to her. I came around the corner, took her hand, pulled her to me and gave her a nice kiss.
“Sorry to be rude, girls, but I was just trying to give my girl some affection. I missed her this weekend.” After we came out of our embrace, I said, “Oh, I’m Perry Skky, her boyfriend. You ready to go?”
She just grinned from ear to ear and I liked that look. We were connected. She wasn’t sure if I had overheard her or if I just knew what she needed, but either way it was right on time and that was a God thing. She was right, this weekend had been about us getting closer and I think we had done that. We were able to connect better with one another. What a great relationship.
“Hey, man,” Deuce said, “Mario’s out there to see you.”
“What man, are you serious?”
It was eleven o’clock at night, I just finished studying for a major test, and all I wanted to do was crash.
“Man, he looks spaced out. Seriously, I think you need to talk to him.”
“I wouldn’t go nowhere with Mario,” Lance said, eavesdropping on the conversation though he was supposed to be minding his own business fixing a sandwich or something. “What? Don’t look at me like that. The guys he messes with are crazy. I still remember the beat down they gave me.”
“How you know he even want something like that? I saw him last week and he asked me for some change,” Deuce confessed.
“Well, he already hit me up for some too,” Lance said. “I wish I would have known he had gotten some from you.”
“Wait, both of y’all gave him some money? I already gave him some too.”
“I already knew when I gave him some what he was into, but he made me feel bad for me having his job,” Lance said.
“He made me feel bad too,” Deuce admitted, “saying us brothers got to stick together. Yeah he played on my heart strings too.”
We heard the door get a good pounding.
“Well, you better go on and get on out there,” Deuce said.
“I’m out of change.”
“Yeah, take your wallet.” Lance threw my wallet over from the counter to me.
“Ha, ha, ha. Y’all been giving him that little hustle. I’ve given him some real money, and I’m not paying him any more.”
“You say that,” Lance said. “You’re such a wuss. He’ll talk you out of your shirt.”
“Perry, open up. Open up.”
I grabbed my keys and headed to the door.
“Mario, man. What’s up guy?” I said, trying to keep the conversation light.
“Perry, I need your help. I really do.” I thought he looked bad the first time I saw him, but he looked even worse now.
“Man, I’m tired. I got a big test coming up. I got to go to bed, Mario.”
“I just need your help, you can’t leave me out there.”
“I don’t have no money.”
“I don’t want money, I need you to help me.”
“Help you with what?” I asked.
“I’ve been doing drugs; don’t judge me, man.”
“Naw man, I ain’t gon’ judge you.”
“I need to go to this group, see. They’ll—they’ll help me, and I need to make sure I do it and stuff, and I just need you to go. I don’t have anybody to help me like that, anybody who cares, and see I know you do. You, you told me I could do this and that it was hard.”
“Okay, okay man. Alright.”
“I need to get dropped off, my car, I don’t…I don’t really have a car anymore. I had to sell it because…um because.”
“Okay, I got my keys right here. Where are we going?”
“My bag and stuff is downstairs, it’s…it’s under my car.”
“I thought you didn’t have…you said your car wasn’t working.”
“I know—just help me, okay?”
“Well, why don’t you spend the night here and I take you in the morning?”
“NO, no! It’s got to be done now,” he said, grabbing my arm and jerking me.
I wasn’t really sure what was going on with him. Taking him to a facility where he could detox seemed like something I was down to do. True, in an ideal world it would be great to do it the next day, but if he was that determined to go get help, that urgent, I had to do everything in my power to stand beside him, get him there and push him through the door. I didn’t know how addicted he was, but I was sure excited to hear him say that he wanted to get some help. When we got down to my car he asked me to open my trunk. I was down with helping him move some of his stuff but he was very firm and determined.
“I can drive, too, since I know where I’m going.”
“Man, please. I don’t even think you can walk a straight line let alone drive my car. Man, please.”
“Alright, alright.”
I didn’t know much about the Southside of Atlanta. I knew it was an area that I didn’t want to get caught in at night. I wasn’t saying I was afraid of somebody jumping me, but I mean, it just wasn’t smart for me to be out riding in a sort of flashy car up and down the projects.
“Where is this place?” I asked him as we drove through some apartment complexes that looked abandoned.
“It’s…it’s just up a little bit. See, I got to go get some more of my stuff.”
“So…Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where are we going? Don’t give me no bull. Don’t feed me no junk. I’m supposed to be taking you to some house and…what you trying to get me involved in?”
“I’m just picking I’m just picking up something. Come on Perry. Alright, it’s this house here, pop the trunk.”
Already there, I was just pissed. I popped the trunk and sat there as he jumped out, grabbed the bag and went up to the house. It was the weirdest thing to me—if he was going to pick something up, why in the heck did he have to take a full bag inside? Yeah, something wasn’t right and before I could start up my car and leave I heard the police say, “Freeze. Get out of the car, man, get out of the car. Get out right now.”
I got out of the car with my hands in the air and was forced to the ground. Angry as could be, I wondered why in the world I let my gut allow me to follow Mario in the first place. Could I get out of this? Because whatever this was, it was a mess.
“Okay, get him out of here,” a guy sounding like he was in charge said to the two cops that were holding me. They shoved me into a police car and drove around the corner. The next thing I knew we had stopped. Not like they were taking me to the police precinct, not like they were reading me my rights, it just seemed unorthodox. I was a football player, not a detective, but I was smart enough to know they weren’t going about everything the right way.
“Hey, I get a phone call or something,” I yelled out. My cell phone was in my pocket. If I
needed to push PLAY and record everything that was going on I was willing to do it. I was not going to be abused.
“Alright, listen. We’ve been following Mario Shruggs for quite a while. We’re not here after you, but we’ll prosecute if you don’t cooperate.” The heftier guy leaned forward and continued, “So, you need to tell us everything you know, young man. You got a bright future over there at Tech.”
No one pushed me, but I felt a severe kick right in the bottom of my belly. It was decision time. Mario had gotten me in a mess larger than six pounds of dog poop, but I wasn’t a snitch. I just didn’t feel right telling them everything that I knew to send him to jail, but could I afford to throw away my future to stand up for somebody who tricked me in the first place? Mario wasn’t looking out for me. Lord, I prayed, Tell me what to do here. Give me guidance. Help me see clearly what’s right. You lead. I don’t want to be too hasty in my thoughts; saying the wrong thing, thinking the wrong thing, messing all of this up. I mean, I’m in handcuffs. Being in handcuffs was a true awakening. I now needed to stop trying to cover for a friend and be a friend to myself. Besides, if Mario couldn’t see he was doing bad, then I needed to cooperate with the cops and get him off his own dangerous path.
“What’s it going to be, Skky? Are you off to jail, son, or do you have something to tell us?”
Knowing that I knew what to do, I was still having trouble opening my mouth and telling all, so I stalled. Looking up, looking down, taking a deep breath.
Then the bigger one of the cops said, “Alright, let’s take him downtown.”
“Alright, alright,” I said.
“We just want to know how you got caught up in this? His car broke down and the next thing you know he’s at Tech and you’re chauffeuring him around to sell drugs?”
“Hey, wait a minute. Mario told me that I was taking him to a house that detoxed. He said he wanted to get clean. My roommates can attest that he asked for my help, and not to deliver illegal substances to anybody.”
Promise Kept (Perry Skky Jr.) Page 6
