Promise Kept (Perry Skky Jr.)

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “Dad,” I said, tearing up.

  “So, you heard the news huh? Your old man has colon cancer. Your mother has been on me for years to go get checked, your sister started doing it too, and so I finally went, but sometimes you know that you know, but you don’t want to hear the diagnosis. But you’re looking like this is the end, son.”

  “You’ve got cancer Dad. I mean, that is what a lot of black men are dying from now. I just never thought that you…I mean…” I just reached over and hugged him. “How could God allow this to happen?”

  “God has a reason and purpose for everything and I’ve got treatment options.”

  Treatment options. I walked over to the other side of my car and said, “Come on, Dad. I’m a big boy.”

  “No son, it’s not a grim prognosis. I’ve got to have some chemotherapy and some radiation and some other stuff done, it’s a fifty-fifty chance I’m going to be alright. Just because God doesn’t give it to us how we want doesn’t mean we give up on Him. At the end of the day we don’t want to stay here forever.”

  “But Dad, didn’t you just lose a high school friend last year?”

  “It’s not on our time, we have to trust and obey that God can work it out, not get mad and get angry and give up on Him when we disagree with His methods. And with this deep conversation that I am having with you now, maybe it is worth it. I missed you, son.”

  He walked straight to me.

  “I missed you too.”

  “What’s wrong with y’all? Y’all look like somebody just died,” I said when I got back to my place and saw the defeated look on Deuce and Collin’s faces as they sat somberly in the living room.

  Deuce quickly came over to me. “It’s Lance, man.”

  “What’s wrong with Lance?”

  “His family wanted him to go home for Easter and he didn’t go, and he just got a call last night that his grandma died.”

  “Aw man, are you serious?”

  “Yeah man, and he ain’t taking it too well. We thought since you lost your grandma earlier that you would be able to say something to him.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She had a heart attack and didn’t overcome it.”

  Collin came over and said, “We’ve been praying for him, but Deuce is right. He’s been hysterical and won’t talk to anybody. Clearly he’s angry. You’ve got to be able to get through to him.”

  This day was just getting worse and worse. My drive back was full of thoughts that my dad might not make it, and even though God has to take us all, I’m not cool with that. So what could I say to Lance not being okay with the fact that his grandma is gone.

  Dang it, Lord, I thought.

  As I walked into my bedroom on the other side of our place, Deuce came in and said, “Unh-uhh, man, you need to go try and talk to him.”

  “I’m just not up to it right now, alright. If you want to talk to him then go talk to him. Sometimes a man just needs space. How can you expect me to do what you couldn’t do?” I sat down quickly. “Quit being a punk and stop putting stuff off on other folks, dang. Leave me alone.”

  “Oh, well if it’s like that then fine,” Deuce said.

  “Wait, wait, wait,” I said quickly, coming to my senses. “I’m sorry man, I’m sorry.”

  “Whatever man, if you feel that way, cool. You talk about brotherhood and unity and all that stuff, but obviously that’s not how you felt. Those were the words you spouted, not the ones you intended to live by. I’m glad I know now though.”

  “Naw, naw. Deuce, seriously. I’m sorry, man.”

  “How come you two are fussing now?” Collin said, entering the room.

  “I just found out that my father has colon cancer, alright. I don’t think I’m the best candidate to talk to him right now, alright. Lance ain’t the only one that’s going through stuff, that’s all I’m trying to say. Maybe I was a little harsh with my words and I am sorry about that, Deuce, but I’ve got my own issues you know.”

  “Aw man, I didn’t know, man. I’m sorry.”

  “Well, don’t stay in your room and wallow and be alone and stuff,” Collin said to me. “Deuce is right, we have to be here for each other. Y’all were here for me. When I wanted to give up on myself y’all were there for me. Come on man, let’s go sit in the living room.”

  We all sat down on different sides of the living room. What was happening to me? My dad was right—when things didn’t go my way I started to doubt my faith, when it should be tested to make me stronger. I was rebelling, going off on Deuce like that. Although I had a reason, it was inexcusable. I didn’t know what to say to Lance, but I knew that I did need to try and say something.

  Without either Deuce or Collin saying anything to me, I got up off my tail and went to his room and banged on the door. When I didn’t get a response I just talked, like when I had to talk to Lenard after he had found out that his aunt and uncle got killed in a car crash on their way to our game. Even then I didn’t know what I was going to say, but God had given me everything I needed to help him out. Lance and I had a connection; just him knowing I cared was all I needed to share. So I said, “Listen guy, you probably want to be alone. I lost both of my grandparents and both times it affected me, it hurt me really badly. I still miss not being able to eat my grandma’s chitlings and collard greens. But I still remember her loving the Lord and seeing her in Heaven is what sustains me, and God is sending others into my life—new family, so to speak. You and Deuce and Collin and I have a brotherhood. I don’t know, it’s real and it’s strong enough to get us through the pain, and all we want to do is be there for you, guy. You can hit us, hug us, whatever—but you don’t have to go through this by yourself. Let’s pout together. Your world will be changed forever without your grandma and that ain’t cool, but all that she made you to be, and the three friends you’ve got in this apartment, is something to hold onto. Come on man, let us in?”

  It took a few minutes, but I finally heard footsteps walking to the door. Lance opened it, and Deuce and Collin were right behind me. We just smiled at him—after the pain was goodness.

  A week later the Deltas were having a party on campus. Another reason why my sister and I weren’t close was that my sister was on line. I wasn’t going to go to the jam, but when she came down I went out to support her and see her step. Knowing how stubborn Payton Skky was, imagining her as a Greek was something I couldn’t imagine. But seeing it for myself I was impressed that my sister had the fly moves.

  “She’s cute, ain’t she?” Tad said, all proud and everything.

  “She’s your girlfriend, not mine,” I told him. “You’ve got your hands full.”

  “I know she told me you two got into it when you were at home last weekend. Your dad’s going to be alright, man.”

  “Thanks, Tad.”

  I just happened to look over to the left of the dance floor and I saw Jordan the basketball dude, who was supposed to be going out with Savoy, with his lips all over some other chick. Now I have to admit that the AKA was fly, but how he gon’ disrespect Savoy like that and be with somebody else? No sooner had that dance ended than another girl grabbed his hand and he started feeling her up and down on the dance floor. Savoy didn’t deserve that treatment at all.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Tad said, noticing that I looked ticked. I had forgotten Savoy was his cousin. Did I even want to get him involved in all that when part of me was mad at myself? Knowing that if I had done my job as her boyfriend she wouldn’t have to be treated any kind of way by jokers who didn’t respect her. But I couldn’t cry over spilt milk. I still cared for her deeply and I was a man of action, but I didn’t know what I was going to do until I saw him with yet another girl, kissing her in front of everybody. Yeah, he probably wasn’t going to stay at Tech after his freshman year. Unlike football players, basketball players only had to come to school for one year, but for football they had to play at least three. So even though the both of us were supposed to do real well in the pro
s, he’d be seeing his green sooner than me, and the honeys were buying into the hype.

  “I’ll be back,” I said to Tad.

  “Man, I ain’t going to be here. I’ve got to find your sister, you know how that goes. Parties aren’t my scene at all, but we’ll dance a minute and then we’re headed out, so if we don’t see you.”

  “Alright dude,” we said as we slapped hands.

  Then I lost Jordan. I looked to the left, he wasn’t there. I looked to the right, he wasn’t there. And then I saw Savoy. She was sitting in a corner by herself and she looked so sad, like she lost her best friend or something and desperately needed someone to rescue her from her gloom. I couldn’t believe she was waiting on him to return. Had that ever been her nature? She never waited on me like that. Why would she reduce herself to that? And then I saw him go over to her and talk to her, and she started smiling. What in the world—she had to know that he was a jerk! This wasn’t cool.

  I went over to the two of them and said, “Unh uhh, wait Jordan. You ain’t gon’ front on my friend like that. You’ve been with three different honeys, I’ve seen you myself. Kissing on them, feeling on them, all of that stuff. And then you gon’ try to come over to your girl and act like you’ve been an outstanding model guy. Naw, it ain’t gon’ go down like that. Savoy deserved way more than you.”

  Savoy’s mouth was wide open and Jordan just started laughing. I thought he was going to be mad and say something to me, go off or whatever, but he was just laughing. Why didn’t I get the joke? I knew what I saw, I wasn’t making it up. She didn’t even seem to be appalled by it, she was just sort of blushing. What was going on?

  “Man, me and her ain’t been together for a month—Savoy?” She nodded. “This girl is still into you and it’s apparent that you’re still into her. We friends though, she keeps it real and gets on me. She was just chastising me about the exact same thing, saying I’m too out there, so I have to come to her every now and then. It’s just like you thought we were still together—it works with the girls too. Y’all need to work that thing out. It’ll mess up my groove, but hey, y’all two good people. I couldn’t get nowhere with your partner, she was still hooked on you. But you ain’t gon’ mess up my game with these other ladies, believe that. I’m out of here. Bye Savoy,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. “You think people were looking?”

  “Boy, get out of here.”

  “Is what he said really true?” I asked, sitting beside her. “I saw you looking sad, like you couldn’t believe that he was doing you like he was.”

  “I wasn’t thinking about Jordan at all but I was sad. I have been pouting lately because I miss you. So what can I do about that?”

  “Tell a brother how you feel,” I said as I held her hand.

  “Would that do any good, Perry?”

  “You know it would. I came all the way across a dance floor to go off on a guy that I thought was supposed to be true to you, all because I cared in the worst way. If you thought it looked cute, if it made you blush, if it makes you want to get back with me, it was worth the pouting for sure.”

  14

  Feeling Real Joy

  When her lips touched mine it was perfect; I felt so relaxed, so good, so on top of the world. I didn’t want to pull away from her. And don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t about sex and satisfying an urge. No, it was more about the pigheadedness being gone. I stayed away from Savoy because I didn’t want to admit that I could care so much for a girl, have her presence control my happiness like that. And truthfully, sometimes I didn’t want to have to fool with her, but deep down, damn, all of that was worth it. Some way, somehow, that kiss taught me that we would find a way to coexist. There was no way we could be apart; and that every brother deserves someone who cares about him so much that no other guy even has a chance.

  “I missed you,” she said with watery eyes. “I never thought we could be together again. I mean we were together, not together, then apart.”

  “And now we are together,” I said to her as I held her hand and brought her head toward mine. I mean, what was there to say—her lips could speak volumes.

  I was so focused on the emotions I felt, kissing Savoy, that I was startled when my sister called out, “Perry!”

  “Oh my gosh!” Savoy said when she opened her eyes and saw her brother and cousin Tad looking at her with displeasure.

  “I’m sorry. This is probably embarrassing, huh? Corner of a party making out…nah, we just came over to say it’s about time you get out,” her brother Saxon said, before he turned left.

  Payton said, “You two got something special. Remember, Tad and I found a way to work it out as freshmen. Everybody in the world said there is no way that our relationship could work out, and we have had more than our share of almost-never-ever-gonna-stay-together moments. But Savoy, I know you care about my brother. Your cousin tells me you talk.”

  “Tad!” she said.

  “Payton!” he said to her. “Well, I mean I’m saying.”

  My sister looked at me so I stepped in and said, “You talk to your cousin about you missing me and stuff?”

  “Well, its not like I can talk to Saxon.”

  “Dude, you never told me,” I said to my sister’s boyfriend.

  “Wasn’t my place. Prayed for y’all though. Figured if it was supposed to work out it would. Like Payton said, y’all are young and not everybody can try to do what we doing. It ain’t easy for us. But I know what is in Savoy’s heart is real. And from what Payton tells me—let’s just keep it real here—you moping around and all that other kind of stuff, and shucks—I can see for myself this whole night you was staring at my cousin.”

  “I was,” I said, looking dead at her.

  “So now that y’all got another chance, don’t mess it up,” Tad added.

  Payton said, “People will try to break you up, and the feelings you’ll have for each other will sort of mess up your commitment to God. You’re going to be tested on so many fronts it’s not even gonna be funny.”

  “Yeah I know, we’ve already been tested like that,” Savoy said. “I just don’t know if we can make it.”

  Well thanks y’all for the talk,” I said, hearing enough. I grabbed Savoy’s hand and we headed to the door.

  “It’s not too cold out, I wanna talk to you.”

  When we got outside I said, “I know we’ve been through a lot and I know I’ve been a jerk through a lot of it, but if you care about me the way I care about you we can make it.”

  I took my hand and stroked her beautiful hair, then she rested her head in the palm of my hand and I felt so in control, like she wanted me to take care of her. I didn’t have it all together, I knew that I would mess up even more along the way, I couldn’t say she would be my wife one day. But for right now I was willing to make her a promise that I would give her all I had. I didn’t use the words I love you much. But I leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek and said, “Rest assured I’m in this. You won’t leave my soul, Savoy Lee. I love you.”

  She hugged me tight and prayed, “Lord, so many nights I cried, missing Perry, hating myself that I had driven him away. But now You have given us new life on this dating journey and he says he loves me, and I love him too. Thank you God. This is what we are feeling; this passion; this excitement; this joy is a gift from You. Help us treasure it.”

  I said “Amen” in complete agreement.

  Hadn’t been the same around the apartment with Lance out of town in Arkansas for his grandmother’s funeral, no TV blaring loud in the middle of the night, no refrigerator door wide open because he forgot to shut it. Nobody playing practical jokes on folks in the house but Collin, Deuce, and I did miss him.

  “Maybe we should’ve gone to the funeral,” Collin said as we sat around our small dinette table eating our ramen noodles.

  “Man, I couldn’t go to no funeral in Arkansas. I got classes. You know I couldn’t afford to miss nada one,” Deuce said.

  Collin said, “I mean, we
should’ve been able to do something, has anybody even called him?”

  Deuce said, “I thought one of y’all called him.”

  Collin replied, “Nah, I thought y’all called him.”

  I said, “Well, I didn’t bug him because I thought you guys did.”

  “So nobody has even checked on him?”

  “I mean, I prayed for him,” I said.

  “If somebody in my family died y’all better show up,” Deuce said.

  “Well,” I got up and said, “where’s the phone, let’s call him now.”

  Then we heard the rattling of the doorknob.

  “What y’all sitting here looking all sad for, y’all should’ve had more food for me to eat—what’s the problem?” said Lance.

  We got up to slap his hand and gave him small hugs.

  “You appear to be okay,” I said to him as I checked him out.

  And Deuce gave him a wedgie, “Yeah he’s alright.”

  “See, y’all got jokes,” Lance said.

  “For real, guy, we were thinking about you; sorry we didn’t give you a call. It’s not like we wasn’t thinking about you and stuff,” I said to him.

  “You guys, I know I was a little weirded out before I left but it was actually a peaceful experience, and I was so busy with all my relatives that I wouldn’t even have heard the phone ring if you called. I don’t think I even checked the messages. My girl is even mad at me.”