Dangerous Depths (The Sea Monster Memoirs)

by Karen Amanda Hooper

  I fought to take control of his limbs. It was like trying to catch a fish in water. Every time I grabbed on to him, he would slip away again. He clung to the image of my stone form, letting it destroy him from the inside out. He pictured his mother turning to stone seconds after giving birth to him. The memories were debilitating him. But I was stronger.

  I focused on the feel of his muscles, imagining I could manipulate and control them like strings on a puppet. I forced his hand to touch the wet mud of the grotto. Then, using his index finger, I slowly made him write not real.

  He read the words. They registered. But he struggled to believe them. I was getting the hang of controlling his hand like it was my own, so I kept writing. Not stone. In Harte. Come back.

  The hope hit him light a lightning bolt. His head snapped up.

  I was shoved in the chest, back into the present, and Treygan’s cobalt eyes focused on me.

  “There you are,” I said, sighing with relief. “Welcome back.”

  He hugged me, rocking me. “Thank you.” He pulled back, holding my face in his hands and staring into my eyes.

  We didn’t need to say anything. He knew I had experienced what he had. He knew I felt what he felt and how awful it had been. If I hadn’t known how much he loved me before, I certainly knew it now. One of his deepest fears was losing me.

  “I’m right here,” I assured him.

  He pressed his forehead to mine. “We stay together. Always.”

  “Always,” I promised. “But what about Rownan?”

  He blinked and turned to look at the rain outside. “I never got that far. Whatever happened to me happened instantly.”

  “This is bad,” I said. “They’re using our fears against us. Mine was Uncle Lloyd dying.”

  “Mine was turning you to stone. Losing you forever.”

  “They make it seem so real. It feels so real while it’s happening.”

  “The question is who are they? And how do we stop them?”

  “I wish I knew.”

  Treygan leaned against a wall as I made slow laps around the cave. Where could Rownan have gone? Did someone or something take him? If so, how did we not hear it?

  I tripped over something on the ground and it skidded into the shadows. I crouched down, reaching into the dark, narrow cubby at the back of the cave. My fingers closed around something solid. A handle. I pulled out a dagger. Hanging from the tip of the blade was the watch I took off earlier.

  Treygan closed in behind me. “What did you find?”

  “My watch. Stabbed.”

  “I assume you didn’t stab it.”

  I shook my head. “This is Rownan’s dagger.”

  “Why would he stab your watch? And please tell me you weren’t wearing it at the time.”

  “I took it off earlier.”

  “This gets weirder and weirder.”

  A scary thought hit me. “What other weapons did Rownan bring?”

  Treygan’s jaw shifted. “I’m not sure.”

  We were both worried, hoping Rownan hadn’t ventured out into Harte unarmed.

  “We have to find him,” I said.

  Treygan nodded and glanced at the rain. “But how? This place seems to outsmart us at every turn.”

  I hated that he was right. Soul-sucking demons, nightmarish illusions, murderous weather, and now Harte had managed to separate Rownan from us.

  “I have a feeling we haven’t seen the worst of this place yet,” Treygan said.

  I chewed on my lip, trying not to imagine what could be worse than what we had already encountered. “They’ll probably keep trying to separate us.”

  “I won’t let that happen.”

  He said it out loud, which meant he wholeheartedly believed it, but I wasn’t so sure. Harte kept hitting where it hurt the most. Treygan feared losing me, and I feared losing him. Harte would probably feed on that. What if we were both lured into hallucinations and neither one of us could snap the other back into reality?

  I had an idea.

  “I need to do something.” I grabbed one of the big scallop shells I had seen half-buried in the back of the cave. I set it upside-down on the ground at the entrance. I pried a thick vine from the cave wall and used my dagger to cut off a long portion. It was flexible, but still stiff enough to serve my purpose. Using the long piece of vine, I pushed the shell out into the rain, careful not to let any drops hit my hand.

  Treygan eyed me skeptically.

  The shell filled up with rain. I hooked its rim with the curved end of the vine and slid it back inside. Some liquid splashed out, but I had enough to do the job. I wriggled out of my jacket then knelt on the ground and dipped the tip of the dagger into the steaming shell. Then I drew an N on my forearm, but my sizzling skin made me gasp.

  “Yara, stop!” Treygan rushed over to me, but I was already burning the second letter into my arm.

  “We’re getting mentally weak,” I explained. “Koraline wanted me to tattoo this on myself so I wouldn’t forget.”

  I dipped the dagger into the scalding rain and kept writing.

  “Tattoo? I doubt she meant literally.” He grabbed my hand, but I pulled away from him, still burning Koraline’s words into my arm so I wouldn’t forget. “Never give up.”

  I held up my arm so Treygan could read the pink letters rising on my burned skin. “This isn’t going away. If at any time you question whether I’m real, make sure this is on my arm. If it’s not, then it’s not the real me.”

  His eyebrows twitched and he blew out a breath. He delicately held my arm in his hands, examining my new brand.

  “Never give up. The tide will turn,” I told him. “We’re going to get out of here.”

  He stripped off his jacket, took the dagger from me, and turned away. He squatted by the shell while I stared at his back muscles, flinching and rippling. He never made a sound, even though I smelled his skin burning. Treygan rose and walked around me. He positioned himself behind me, wrapped his arms around my torso, and pulled my back tight against his chest. Taking my left hand with his right, he lifted our forearms, his beneath mine, and there were Koraline’s words burned into our skin.

  Never give up.

  The tide will turn.

  His brand had more letters than mine. It must have hurt like hell.

  “Together,” Treygan said, “we can survive anything.”

  I turned around and kissed him.

  With every step I took, I mourned them.

  The terrain was covered with tall, thick plants. Bugs and scorpions crawled across my boots while snakes hissed and snapped at me. I used my claws to slice my way through the infested jungle.

  A few times I wanted to quit. Sit on the ground, let some evil thing come for me and kill me or eternally trap me in the wretched wasteland. I deserved whatever punishment Harte wanted to dish out.

  But I kept moving. Too scared to be still and sit alone with my guilty thoughts.

  Step after lonely step, I waited for something to pounce on me. Nothing ever did—which intensified my fear even more. When something or someone finally did find me, what kind of suffering would I have to endure?

  My body was numb with grief. My heart kept breaking into pieces over and over. Every time I thought of Vienna or Treygan or Yara, another part of me died.

  I rested against a huge tree with no leaves. At first, I thought the bark had streaks of red running through it, but when I touched one of the veins blood coated my fingers. My mouth watered. I was beyond thirsty, but I wasn’t about to drink from anything or anyone in Harte. The thought alone made me shiver.

  I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the ugliness around me anymore. Without even trying, I began shadowing. Mainly, it was my way of hiding in the dark tunnel of my own mind, a temporary escape from Harte, but then a dim light appeared.

  Huddled on the ground, in the middle of a pool of amber light, was Vienna.

  She had her back to me, her face hidden from my sight, but her shoulders rose and fell
with each breath she took. She breathed deep and slow, and her left foot occasionally twitched the way it always did when she slept. I knew without a doubt she was no hallucination or evil imposter.

  I opened my eyes and ran as fast as my legs would carry me.

  ~

  The stench of rotted corpses made me dry heave.

  How could Vienna sleep in such a disgusting and dreadful place? Decaying sea creatures were scattered all over the tiny beach. Based on the skeletal remains, I guessed the carcasses were some breed of seal. Dead fish washed in and out with each weak wave that lapped the tiny beach.

  How could water find its way up this high? My fingertips were sliced and raw from climbing the steep cliffs to reach the isolated beach where I now stood—with Vienna at my feet.

  At first, I didn’t want to wake her. She looked so peaceful, lying there asleep, still so beautiful even after so many years in this godforsaken place—even as she lay curled up with a slimy, mold-covered piece of driftwood. Her hair had grown so long. Wet strands clung to her skin, ending in a tangled pile around her feet.

  Every part of me screamed this was the real her, but I still silently prayed she wasn’t some sort of mirage.

  I leaned closer. No visible injuries. She was much thinner, especially in the face, but not a scratch on her. It was almost too good to be true. She had always been too good to be true. Why should this moment be any different?

  We didn’t have much time. I didn’t even know how long I had been in Harte, but my internal clock assured me we were within the three-day window to get back through the gate. I had to wake her and get us home.

  I kneeled beside her.

  “Vienna.” I laid my fingers on her bare shoulder. Touching her. For years I agonized about whether I would ever feel her soft skin again. I fought back the overwhelming urge to cry tears of joy and sadness all mixed together. But a crying mess was not how I wanted Vienna to see me for the first time in so long. “V, I’m here.”

  She stirred with a sweet sigh and rolled over. Her eyes half opened and her smile grew bigger.

  My heart exploded with joy. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed that smile.”

  She reached forward and touched my chin. “You almost look real.”

  I placed my hand over hers, still fighting back tears. “I am real.”

  She tilted her head and her arms went limp. “That’s what they all say.”

  I leaned closer, clutching her hand against my chest. “Vienna, it’s me. I’m here to take you home.”

  “Of course you are.” Her expression remained dreamy and unchanging. “Let me sleep. My dreams let me exist with the real Rownan in a much happier place.”

  I grabbed her shoulders and yanked her up. “Vienna, it’s me. This is no hallucination or evil creature pretending to be me. I’m really here. And we don’t have much time left. We have to get out of here and get back to Rathe. Your family misses you. I’ve missed you more than you could possibly imagine.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You hellions. Why do you keep trying? It’s never going to work.”

  Of course she doubted me. I had seen what this place did to Yara. “I can only imagine what horrible tricks they’ve pulled on you since you’ve been here, but I swear to you. I swear on your brother, Dresden, your mother, and my own life, I am your Rownan. Through and through, I am one hundred percent real.”

  She shook her head then draped herself over the long piece of wood beside her. “This was Rownan. He was real. We spent two long, happy years together here. But your dark, twisted world killed him.”

  For two years she’d believed some evil creation was me? I couldn’t think about what that meant. What might have happened between her and some … hellion? “That’s driftwood. Not me.”

  “He’s still here with me. His body may be dead, but his soul is still with me. I feel it.”

  Her delusions ran deep. She loved a piece of wood covered in black and green mold. She believed it was my body and that I was dead. How could I overcome that? “Look around this place and tell me what you see.”

  “I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “But I’m not delusional. I’m surrounded by dead selkies that wear the faces of my family and friends. You send them so I’ll think I have no reason to live.” She smiled, a little too psychotically for comfort. “But the joke is on you. I’m numb to your corpses. My family and friends are healthy and happy, safe at home. Your tricks will never make me believe otherwise.”

  “Good. Because that’s the truth. But that,” I pointed to the wood she was curled up beside. “You believe that is my—Rownan’s—body? Is it decayed too?”

  “Of course not,” she sneered, gathering a pile of her long hair in her hands and clutching it to her chest. “Our love keeps him from decaying. As I said, his soul is still with me.”

  My mind raced to come up with things I could do or say to make her see the truth. I held out my arm. “Drink some of my blood. Feel my love for you. You’ll know I’m real. That connection can’t be faked.”

  She backed away. “I’m not stupid. You won’t bleed because you’re not real. You have no soul.”

  “What if I do bleed? Then will you believe me?”

  “That’s impossible.”

  I slashed my forearm open with my claws, and held it out to her. “See?”

  She glanced at it then shook her head. “You’re all the same.”

  I looked at my arm and I was stunned. Not one drop of blood. My skin appeared to be torn open, but nothing leaked out of it. “What’s wrong with me?”

  “You’re an evil phony. But you’re acting has improved.”

  Desperate, I grabbed her, hoping to kiss her and make her feel it was the real me. She slashed open my cheek with her claws then squirmed out of my grasp. I touched my face. It hurt, but again, no blood.

  She stood with her feet planted wide apart in the sand, her arms held at her sides like she was ready to fight.

  “No need to be defensive,” I said. “I would never hurt you.”

  “None of you can hurt me. When will you stop trying?”

  “I will figure this out,” I assured her. “Somehow, I’ll prove to you that I’m real and I’ll get us out of here.”

  She spit in my face. “Over my dead body.”

  The rain finally stopped. Treygan and I walked out of the cave, and I gasped at how drastically the scene outside had changed. The sky was pitch black and resembled a massive brain with long, tubular strands curled and wound around each other. The pattern stretched from horizon to horizon, and at times looked like it was moving. A few feet of burnt-orange sand led to an ocean of murky moss-green water.

  “Are we going to swim in that?” I asked.

  “Seems we don’t have a choice.” There was no other land to walk on. The dark water surrounded our cave. A quick glance around the rock wall confirmed more water behind us. Our cave had somehow become an island.

  I stepped to the edge of the water. “Why do I get the feeling there’s something lurking in there that will eat us?”

  “I’ll check it out first and make sure it’s safe.”

  He only took one step before I grabbed his arm. “Oh, great idea. You’ll get eaten and I’ll be left here festering with guilt and despair because I let you go in alone.”

  “Then we’ll go together.” He unlaced his boots.

  I grunted in agreement as I squatted down and took off my boots too.

  “I miss being in the water,” Treygan said. “This is a welcome change from that cave.”

  “I miss the water too. I’m just not sure I want to be in that water.” I motioned to the dreary abyss around us. “How did this happen? How does an ocean suddenly form out of nowhere?”

  “I can think of much worse things to encounter.” His head snapped up. “Wait. Maybe that’s it!”

  “What’s it?”

  “I missed the water. Lying there in the cave, I was wishing we were swimming in the ocean again. I craved the ocean,
and here it is.”

  “That’s the big magic secret,” I said sarcastically. “In hell, anything you wish for will appear.” I threw my head back and shouted at the sky, “I wish for my wings back. I wish Rownan was here. I wish we’d find Vienna alive and well so all of us can go home. I wish for Uncle Lloyd to be in perfect health.” I rolled my eyes at Treygan. “Oh, and I wish for an endless amount of more wishes when we get back to Rathe.”

  “Let’s test my theory. Don’t be afraid. Don’t imagine anything in the water that could hurt us.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  “Visualize this ocean being as safe as ours in Rathe.”

  I eyed him skeptically. “You think whatever we’re afraid of is going to materialize too?”

  “That’s what happened with your hallucination of Lloyd dying. And me turning you to stone. Maybe that’s the trick to this place. Our negative thoughts and fears try to consume us. Think positive. Believe that nothing can hurt us, and hopefully nothing will.”

  I considered his logic. Although it seemed inevitable that this place would hurt us in every way possible, I was willing to try anything. I closed my eyes and pictured a healthy Rownan swimming up to meet us. I opened them, and Treygan was watching me.

  “Nope,” I said. “No Rownan.”

  “I doubt it’s instant. Focus on him being safe and believing we’ll find him. I’m going to try shadowing him.”

  “Are you sure you should try shadowing him again? Look what happened last time.”

  Treygan winked. “Now I believe it’s going to work. Mind over matter.”

  I still wasn’t sure about Treygan’s theory, but I created a happy scene in my mind: Rownan and Vienna together again, smiling and holding hands. They were together in Rathe, celebrating holidays with their families and coming to visit me and Treygan.

  Treygan’s voice grounded me back in Harte. “I found him. He’s with Vienna.”

  A jolt of hope shot through me. “The real Vienna?”

  “We can only hope so.”