by Jeannie Moon
Chapter Seventeen
With bookstore customers, Christmas Eve was always hit or miss. Usually it was pretty quiet, but today Jane had seen a flutter of activity right before closing. A man had just come to town on a surprise visit to see his parents for the holiday and he had no presents for his folks, his siblings and their spouses, and nothing for his passel of nieces and nephews.
Jane was able to take care of all his gift needs and wrap every last present. He’d just left a very happy man and promised he’d be back next year for help with his list. He’d need more presents next year, he told her. Two of his sisters were expecting.
Jane smiled, even though the thought of next year wasn’t of twinkling lights and happy customers, but a great empty void, an existence without the colors and light of all the Christmases past.
Still, the man’s visit had been refreshing. Not being a local, he didn’t know the store was going to be closing by February 1st.
Three days ago she signed the agreement with the new owners to move out a month early. It was no small amount of money they’d offered, but she still hadn’t deposited the check, not quite ready to make it final.
It was a nice break that her last customer of the day hadn’t offered condolences, or platitudes. He was just concerned about getting gifts for the people he loved. It was actually the perfect ending to a day that had been incredibly sad.
With a light snow falling, and the afternoon light beginning to fade, Jane decided to close for the day. It was Christmas Eve, and whatever was happening to her personally, she had her family at home. She and Tara and Mom would go to midnight mass and then tomorrow have Tracy’s whole family for Christmas brunch. She was looking forward to their traditional gatherings, even though the day wasn’t going to include the man who had stolen her heart.
Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, Jane had been right to be concerned about her growing feelings for Danny. Completely in love with him, she was broken-hearted knowing it was over, and she had no one to blame but herself.
With a flick of her wrist she turned the sign on the door to closed and threw the deadbolt to make sure no one else wandered in.
Tracy, who usually worked the morning of Christmas Eve, had asked for the day off. Her kids and her parents were back in town, and she was hosting everyone for Christmas Eve dinner.
It would be a good time if Jane could shake the headache that had been annoying her since this morning with its dull, persistent throbbing.
She put the cash in the safe, powered everything down, and resolved to come in early the day after Christmas to square up the books. It would have been easy enough to do the ten minutes of bookkeeping, but it could wait. Other than her last customer, there had only been a few sales, and it was time for her to go home. Chloe obviously agreed, as Jane’s canine friend was waiting by the door, leash in her mouth, ready to take her walk.
Thankful she hadn’t driven today, Jane stepped out into the cold Christmas air. Filling her lungs with a deep breath, she hoped the time outside would clear her mood and help her shake off a very annoying headache. It was only four o’clock, but with the shorter December days and the heavy cloud cover, it was already starting to get dark. Christmas lights were flicking on all up and down Main Street. It was a charming scene, picture-perfect in so many ways. Jane only wished she felt like celebrating.
Across the street she saw a young couple strolling hand in hand, each of them clutching a shopping bag. Over near the candy store, two children bounced in front of a man, probably their father, dragging him inside for a last-minute sweet treat.
Jane pulled her coat around her and the ache in her chest grew more acute. She’d probably built her last holiday book tree, told her last Christmas story, and put up her last menorah. The season was a bellwether for what was to come. An era was ending. She was going to lose it all—the people, the community—all of it would be gone.
There were those who told her to be grateful. Lovely people who reminded her to look at the blessings in her life. It was true; she had many, including her daughter and her mom, and her friends. She had a home and her gorgeous doggie. She had her health. All of these things were important. Over and over she told herself, things could be so much worse, that she was, indeed, very fortunate. But that’s not how it felt, and all the advice, while well-meaning, didn’t help.
She couldn’t even think about Danny. That kind of heartbreak was too much for her to bear along with everything else. She hadn’t seen him in ten days. He’d called and left a message, but Jane couldn’t even bring herself to listen to it. Today, she was surprised to see his niece, Ella, who stopped in with a small gift. Jane hadn’t opened it yet, saving it for when she was alone, as she fully expected to cry.
Chloe walked beside her, leaning into Jane’s leg as they moved up the sidewalk. No doubt, the dog sensed Jane’s mood. It made Jane wonder how Chloe would deal with the change in routine. A fixture in the bookstore since she was a puppy, it was as much a part of Chloe’s life as Jane’s. She figured the dog would once again prove to be more adaptable than her human.
“I’ll be okay, Chloe girl. I promise.” Chloe looked up, her soulful brown eyes filled with doggie love. “We’ll find something new to do together. Maybe we should take a road trip after Tara heads off to school. Where do you want to go?”
The idea of packing the dog in her truck and heading out into the great unknown had its appeal. There were plenty of places in the United States and Canada that would be fun to explore.
In no rush to get home, Jane stopped to gaze into store windows and wave to friends just closing up shop. Turning, she looked down Main Street, admiring all the decorations, which cut a glittering path right to the harbor. This was such a joyful time of year, but again, Jane felt the deep sense of loss squeeze her heart. Since the news came out about the building being sold, friends and neighbors stopped in. Some were in tears, others were angry, vowing to fight for her with the village council.
Unfortunately, there was nothing to be done. It was too late. The house was zoned commercial, the new owners vowed to keep the exterior authentic, and any improvements would be just that, improvements. Plans included replacing the windows, and making the porch a little larger so folks could eat outside in nice weather.
The big restaurant group that bought the building was going to put in a trendy brunch bistro that would serve breakfast and lunch only. It sounded like a fun addition to the downtown area that wouldn’t do any harm to existing businesses.
Except hers.
The owner of the group reached out to her and tried to mend fences. Not that it mattered, but she did find out the details of the sale. Apparently, Colton Van Velt, the man she’d met the previous summer, and the Homestyle owner were prep school friends. They’d seen each other at a reunion and hatched the deal. Colton had no idea when he offered the building next door to the restaurant group, that they’d want the bookstore too. Colton saw dollar signs and the entire deal was kept quiet. Wanting to generate a little goodwill, the restaurant leadership team offered a big incentive for Jane to move out before her lease was up. She took it, naturally. Jane had never seen a check that big, and it would come in handy since she was going to be unemployed for the first time in her life.
Jane didn’t have a clue about what came after. Elena had continued to scout for new retail space but hadn’t found anything in the vicinity that didn’t need massive amounts of time and money to make it work.
In the short term, she’d store everything. Furniture, stock, and the café fixtures would be tucked away until she could formulate some kind of plan. That plan might include selling everything off, but she needed time to think about her options. If only she’d saved all the money she’d sunk into the physical building. It sure would have helped her now.
Water under the bridge, her dad would say, or he’d make some comment about hindsight being twenty-twenty.
Indeed it was.
Just as she passed the theater, Chloe stopped and gave a
little woof. She was fully alert, with her ears erect and the hair on her back standing up. This was unusual since she and Chloe walked this route home at least three times a week. The dog knew every house, every shrub, and every squirrel and chipmunk in the neighborhood.
“What is it, baby?”
Following the dog’s gaze, Jane looked to her right and saw a figure move on the porch of Sail House right at the edge of town. Had it finally been sold? There were lights on inside, and as she moved closer, the front of the house lit up, like someone flipped a switch, startling her with a blaze of colored and white twinkling lights.
The roofline, the trees and shrubs, the porch rails and pillars were decorated for Christmas. Wreaths adorned the windows and doors and there, standing on the top step, was Danny.
His hands were tucked in his coat pockets and he wore a sweet, but nervous smile. “Hiya, Janie.” His voice was low and full of emotion, and as he descended the porch steps, Jane was tongue-tied, completely taken off guard.
“Danny?”
Choe barked in greeting, her tail wagging like she hadn’t seen him in years.
“I was wondering when you were going to come by.” His voice was low, gentle, like he might talk to a nervous animal, or a crazy woman on the verge of snapping.
“Have you been waiting for me?” It was a nice to think he had. It lightened her mood ever so slightly.
“Maybe.”
Jane took a step toward him. Why was he here, at this house? “Maybe?”
He was on the path now, closing the distance between them. “Of course I was waiting for you.”
“I see. Why?” Jane’s heart picked up a steady beat. He looked so handsome and unsure, backlit by the Christmas lights and dusted by snow swirling around them.
“I’m going to screw this up, so please know that everything I do or say comes right from my heart, but the stakes are kind of high, so I’m nervous.”
“Okay.” Her own heart had gone from a steady beat to a series of wild thumps in her chest. Her stomach was currently occupied by a flock of butterflies. Her woo-woo must have kicked in, because Jane felt like something life-changing was about to happen if she let it.
“I love you, Jane. I love you so much I ache from it. I learned the hard way that I can’t be the person I want to be without you. I can’t even think about it.”
Chloe lay down on the walk by his feet and tilted her head back to listen. Jane stepped closer, letting the heady scent of him surround her. “Oh, Danny. Are you sure? I’m crazy in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Very sure. If you know nothing else, know that. I love you. And you’re not crazy.”
He’d told her before, at her house, but she was too stuck in her own head to listen. Thank God he’d said it again. Tears spilled from her eyes, and Jane didn’t even try to stop them. If Danny was going to show his heart, she could show hers.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I found out the building was being sold. I should have right away and trusted you to know what was best. I tried to fix things, but keeping you in the dark was wrong.”
“I wish I had known, but your heart was in the right place. I’m not used to having someone look out for me like that. I always feel like I need to be strong for everybody.”
“I know.” He reached out and took her hands in his. “And every single person you touch is better for it. I know I am, but who’s going to take care of you, Janie?”
Her breath hitched, and tears slowly found their way down her cheeks. Danny didn’t wait any longer for her to come to him; he took hold and pulled her in.
“I don’t have words to express the impact you’ve had on people, but you need to lean on those of us who love you. We’re here, and we’re not going anywhere.”
She turned her face into his hard chest and tried to absorb what he’d just said. Her breathing was coming in great gulps, the cold air feeling heavy in her lungs. “I was so blind—I knew what was coming, whether you told me or not. It was easier not to admit it. I feel like such a…a failure. Like I let everyone down. I don’t know if it’s logical, but that’s how it is.”
“You’re not a failure. You are the furthest thing from it.”
She held on to him, unsure if she could stand on her own. His warm body provided so much more than physical support. He was her person. He’d always been her person and she was so very grateful to have him back.
“Janie,” he whispered, “you didn’t fail. The building being sold is awful, but that wasn’t your fault.”
“Why does it feel that way?” She sniffled and held on to him like a buoy in a storm. He was her anchor, her lifeline, and only now—with the snow falling and the lights shining—did she understand how much she needed him.
“You’re so tough on yourself.” He rubbed her back, soothing her without any judgment.
“It’s special, Danny. There’s something magical about it, and now it’s going to be gone.”
“People adapt, Jane. We learn and grow. Look at me. But there’s no blame here. Nothing we did, or could have done, would have changed anything. It sucks.”
“You don’t think so?” She looked up at his kind eyes.
“Nah. It was a done deal when I found out right after Thanksgiving. It doesn’t change that I should have told you, though. I messed up.”
People often apologized because they had to. Danny apologized because he meant it.
“I want to help,” he said quietly. “Will you let me?”
“I love you. So much. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I just felt so helpless.”
“Jane Fallon, you are many things, but if I’ve learned anything, helpless is not one of them.”
They stood there, with the dog between them, holding each other tight. Jane didn’t know how long it was before she opened her eyes and once again caught sight of the house behind him. It was almost a hundred and fifty years old and showed its age, but with the big windows, a wraparound porch, and gingerbread trim, the house had amazing character and great bones. It was large, set on a decent-size lot for this part of town. It had been a law office at one time but it hadn’t been occupied for several years.
“Do you want to tell me what’s up with the house?”
“House?”
“Yeah, you know. The one behind you?”
“Oh, right. That house. Let’s talk about that.” He took a deep breath and stroked a finger across her cheek. “I bought it.”
Shocked was an inadequate description for what she was feeling. If he had dropped a case of books on her head, she wouldn’t have been more surprised. “I’m sorry. Did you say you bought it?”
“It’s going to contract right after Christmas. I need a place to live when I’m here, so I’m going to convert the top floor into an apartment. It’s huge.”
Live here?
“You’re still planning on staying? Not going back to Hawaii like your agent said?”
“Only to pack,” he said without any hesitation. “Would you be okay with that, though? If I stuck around?”
He was really staying? “Are you sure? It’s not very exciting here.”
“You’re here. I want to be wherever you are. But if you’re having second thoughts about us, if you want some distance, just tell me. I screwed things up so badly, I’d understand. But I’ll wait for you. I will.”
“You’re staying, you’re really staying?”
“I don’t want to leave you again. I meant what I said.”
Without another second’s hesitation, Jane took his face in her hands and kissed him. She tasted his supple mouth, absorbed his now familiar scent, and for the first time, Jane had no doubts. It was magical. It healed. This kiss, unlike the others, didn’t speak of lost moments and missed opportunities; this kiss was about their future, it was a promise. It was a testament to her faith in him. In them. After all this time, Jane had her soul mate, and his warmth and strength spread through her like she was being wrapped in a lush blanket. Jane felt safe, protected,
and loved. She felt so loved it brought fresh tears to her eyes.
Finally, Jane felt a gentle reminder that they weren’t alone. Chloe nudged between them, bringing them back to earth.
“That was nice,” he whispered.
“I could get used to it.” She could. Danny was a very skilled kisser. It made her wonder what other skills he might have.
“I want to show you something else. I don’t deserve it, but I need you to trust me. Will you come inside?”
At this point, she’d have followed him anywhere.
“I like what you’ve done with the place,” she teased. “You said you were going to make an apartment upstairs. What about the rest of the house?”
With her hand in his, Danny pulled her to the front door. There was an urgency, an excitement, to his movements and she was getting excited along with him. He was buying the house? In a million years she never would have thought he was going to buy a house. And one that needed so much work? That was even more of a shock. Something was up, and while Jane was happier and more hopeful than she’d been in months, questions still floated through her mind.
“I have a plan,” he said as he opened the door. “I’m curious to hear what you think. Whether or not it happens is totally up to you.”
They entered a large foyer with a grand staircase that curved its way to the second floor. A Christmas tree was set in the center of the space, soaring at least twelve feet in the air. It was decorated with white lights; glass globes of red, gold, and green; sparkling stars; and books. Books?
Blown glass ornaments of books in all sizes and colors dotted the tree. It was like an homage to her shop. Beautiful, festive, and joyful. It was lovely, and as sad as she was about losing her beloved store, this was truly a beautiful gesture.
“Oh, Danny. This is stunning. It’s beautiful. Thank you!”
“Thank you? Oh. The tree. Right. It looks nice, doesn’t it?”
“Nice?” It was way more than nice. He kept hold of her hand and pulled her down the hallway. “Where are we going?”
