Heartbeat Braves

by Pamela Sanderson

  A tear slipped down her cheek. “I was always afraid if I was bad you might send me away.”

  Grandpa lowered his head. “I don’t think we would have done that. We talked about whether we should have done something different with her. Maybe it was our fault.”

  Rayanne ached for her dear grandparents who had a daughter who caused them so much pain.

  “We did better with you because we were older then. We could make better decisions with you.”

  “She was an addict, Grandpa. She was sick and she wasn’t strong enough to get better. That’s not our fault. We did what we could.”

  Grandpa let out a long, shuddering sigh.

  “That’s what I wanted to tell you. You aren’t in charge of making everything right. You couldn’t fix her and you can’t fix everything else. You have to let some stuff alone. The day might come where I do need you to arrange things for me. And I want you to be there then. But that day ain’t here yet.”

  “I understand,” she said. She wanted to point out that sometimes elders waited too long and then it was too late to make their own decisions. But if he couldn’t come to that conclusion on his own, then she’d deal with it.

  Grandpa came around and sat down in his chair. “Some guy came up to me at the park. He said he helps the elderly.”

  Rayanne’s heart surged.

  “Don’t worry. My feet are slow but my brain works all right. I told him I didn’t need help. I didn’t say it but I thought he was up to something.”

  “I hate hearing that,” Rayanne said. “That’s the main program I’m going to get going when we move into the new building. A community gathering spot. You could come and get a meal and be around other Indians. Tell stories to the kids or sing with your drum circle. We’ll have a park there and no creeps lurking around.”

  “That’ll be nice. I’m proud of you.” Grandpa offered an apologetic smile. “I guess you didn’t bring me any groceries.”

  “After our last encounter, I was under the impression that you wanted to take care of that yourself,” Rayanne said.

  “I may have spoken too quick,” Grandpa said. “I can do it. But with the stairs and my slow legs, it’s easier if someone gives me a ride.”

  “Did you want my help with a ride?”

  “Yes, please. And could you help me figure out what I need?” He studied his hands.

  “Could it be that one of the things you need is your granddaughter?”

  “Guess so,” he said.

  Rayanne got up and kissed his cheek. “Good, I need you too.” She went to the kitchen and opened one of the cupboards. “Let’s see what you have.”

  35

  Henry leaned against the van and scrolled through the final potential hovels the apartment-finding app was giving him. He had set out in the morning giddy with optimism. Perhaps he had defeated the downward spiral he’d been in. Life seemed rich with opportunity. Given the rest of the day’s creeping despair, he suspected the morning’s good cheer had more to do with the top quality naked time with Rayanne.

  So far he’d seen two decent one-bedroom apartments he couldn’t afford, three studio apartments that he could barely afford and each had an unfortunate flaw. Two were criminally tiny. The third was adjacent to the building’s laundry room and in the fifteen minutes he was there the laundry room door slammed shut two times and there had been a loud argument in there.

  The most promising studio was a basement unit with a low ceiling but the little bit of outdoor light came from two half-sized windows. When he’d asked for an application, the landlady said she had other applicants and he would be on the waiting list. He couldn’t be sure whether it was true or because of his brown skin. He took the application anyway to prove he was making progress.

  In a moment of desperation he’d even stopped by a room for rent and it might have been tolerable, even with the humorless woman who owned the house. The room was on the upper level and had a window that overlooked a quiet tree-lined street. It had a big closet and hardwood floors. The price was right. But the lady had so many rules. Rules taped to the refrigerator door. Rules taped to the linen cupboard next to the bathroom. Rules taped under the thermostat. He tried to see it from her point of view. She wanted to run her home her way. But the comprehensive rulemaking suggested a less-than-relaxing living space.

  He’d visited everything on his list so he headed back to Rayanne’s. If it weren’t for her, he would have given up by the second apartment. If he had to, he could sleep in the van at Jack’s for a couple of nights. As long as he could produce evidence he was actively trying, he could convince Mom to relent. She talked tough but he was almost certain she wouldn’t let him sleep in the van for long.

  When he got back to the apartment, he knocked on the door.

  Rayanne answered wearing a sexy short skirt and low-cut blouse. A bright-colored beaded clip held her hair back. His heart ached to see that smile for him.

  “Darling,” she said, pulling him inside. “I will make it official.” She tapped his forehead. “You may now freely come and go without knocking.”

  She leaned up to give him a kiss. She smelled floral and sweet. He’d never been this easy with someone. He never wanted to be apart.

  She went back to the kitchen and searched through one of the drawers.

  “You’re gorgeous,” he told her.

  Rayanne smiled and held up a key. “I’m glad you think so.”

  “You want me to have a key?”

  She stopped and looked at it, reweighing the implications. “I went back and forth and changed my mind a bunch of times. I agree. It’s soon,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “But it feels...well, to be honest, abnormally comfortable. Is it like that for you?” She held up her hand before he could answer. “Forget I asked that. You’re in a situation. It’s easier for you to have one. How did it go today?”

  Henry wrapped his fingers around the key, as if to keep her from taking it back. “Awful. Frustrating. Killing me slowly from the inside out if you must know.”

  “It’s hard to find a place by yourself,” she said. “And to be clear, that’s a visiting boyfriend key not a live-in boyfriend key.”

  “I’m your boyfriend?”

  “Something like that.” Her dark eyes met his.

  “No. I’m all yours.” He tried to pull her into his arms.

  “Good.” She pointed at his pitiful duffel bag filled with clothes and he had never felt less worthy. “You need to get ready. We’re going out.”

  “Together? Whew,” Henry said. “I thought maybe you were going somewhere without me.”

  “No, we’re going out because of you. Live music. And think of one of your weird food places we can try.”

  “My food places are weird?”

  “I’m going to find some shoes and a purse. You’d better be getting ready when I get done.”

  “Will I be punished if I’m not?” he asked.

  “Yes. And not in a good way. That’s for later. Get going.”

  He managed to steal one more kiss before she disappeared into her bedroom. He ached with longing, not just body, but mind and spirit too. He was startled by how badly he wanted to make this work.

  For dinner he took her to a busy place where they squeezed in at the counter and had big bowls of spicy ramen.

  “Good choice,” she said. “You have found my favorite food that I didn’t know I was missing.”

  “That’s what I was going for,” he said. “You didn’t say anything earlier. Did everything go okay with Grandpa?”

  “It did. We’re a happy family again. Everything is working out after all.”

  He hoped he was part of that. After dinner, she directed him to an unfamiliar area of town and told him to park. They walked along a street mixed with retail businesses, restaurants, and bars.

  “So what’s the live music?”

  “I forget what they’re called. Bash Monitor? Bashful Man Something?”

  “And what do they play
?”

  “Ska? Ska fusion? Is ska already a fusion? Is ska the one—?” She twisted back and forth with her elbows bent at exaggerated angles.

  “I guess so. You’re taking me to see a band and you don’t know what they’re called or what they play?”

  By this time they had arrived at the venue. The sign out front said: Meteor Manor. The bouncer checked their IDs at a gated archway. Once inside, Henry guessed the site must have been a church. There was a small landscaped courtyard with a few outdoor tables. Double doors led to a beautiful room with wood floors and small stage where the band was already playing. The music rang out over a loud sound system.

  Rayanne swept her arm around in a what do you think? gesture.

  He didn’t hate the music but it wasn’t his thing. She’d never mentioned being a fan of this or any particular style of music. But that was the fun of getting to know someone new. He leaned down to speak into her ear. “It’s fun. I didn’t know you were into this.”

  Rayanne smiled and flicked her eyes to the ceiling as if at the end of her patience. She held on to his arm and pulled him back down. “The room. What do you think of the room? For the Beat Braves?”

  “Oh,” Henry said, looking around with a new perspective. There were benches around the perimeter and a portable bar like you would bring in for a party in your back yard. She took his hand and pulled him to the back where they could hear each other better.

  “They opened for shows a month ago so they are actively seeking bands. They don’t have a liquor license but they serve nonalcoholic stuff and snacks. But that means you can do all ages.”

  Henry agreed. It was the right size for a band building a following. He was already calculating ways they could advertise and friends who could help them with the sound and the lights.

  “This is great, thank you,” Henry said. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a grateful hug.

  “Let’s go,” Rayanne said, nodding at the dance floor. “I want to do some sweaty dancing and then I want to go home and do some sweaty something else. I’ve got a little maneuver to show you. I call it the reverse Navajo.”

  “Reverse? That’s new,” Henry said, dizzy with a surge of lust. “Well, I have a few ideas of my own. I came up with something I’m going to call the Kiowa bomber.”

  “Ooh. And there’s always the Sac and Fox, which is exactly what it sounds like,” Rayanne said.

  “Right,” Henry said, following her to the dance floor.

  36

  After a short discussion, Rayanne relented and they went into work together.

  “No one is paying attention,” Henry argued. “We work at the same desk. We’re together all day. It’s stupid to take two cars.”

  “Hoo! I spy bed hair,” Ester said as soon as they got in. “What did you two get into this weekend?”

  “Nothing,” Rayanne said, involuntarily reaching up to her hair, which was smooth and in place.

  “Teasing,” Ester said. “But you should see the look on both your faces. At least someone around here is having a good time.”

  “Ester,” Rayanne said, “someday you’re going to meet a cute guy and start dating, and I’m going to do everything in my power to embarrass you within an inch of your life.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m going to tell the guy how lucky he is,” Henry said.

  “Rayanne frightens me but, Henry, you’re adorable,” Ester said.

  Rayanne threw her stuff on her chair. She was going to offer to get Henry a coffee but was self-conscious under Ester’s watchful eyes. “Did you have something for us? For me?”

  “For him,” Ester said, using her elbow to point to Henry. “But you can listen, together. The programs are finished. The printer is delivering them this afternoon. I’m going to work on the website updates today. Can you make sure I have everything I need for that?”

  “We will,” Rayanne said.

  “We will,” Ester repeated in a singsong voice and wandered back to her office.

  She sat down at her computer to check her email. Henry left and returned with her coffee. He set it down next to her and she absentmindedly patted his ass to thank him.

  He cleared his throat.

  “Oops,” Rayanne said. “Won’t happen again.”

  “It’d better,” Henry said.

  “You skipped out of this last time. Are you ready to do it now?” She pulled up the grant application on her screen. Henry moved to stand behind her chair.

  “Nothing beats taking a class. We can find a decent streaming class to get you started,” Rayanne said. “It’s easy to learn but hard to be good at.”

  Henry dropped his hands and squeezed her shoulders, his fingers digging into all the right spots. Her eyes slid half-closed and she lost her train of thought.

  “Knock it off. We have things to do,” she said. The heat spread to her face and other places. She pushed his hands off and shook her head clear.

  He moved his hands to the chair’s backrest and leaned forward.

  “You smell good.”

  “So do you. We used the exact same products this morning. At the same time.”

  “Yeah, I do remember that.”

  She grabbed his shirt and pulled him down close enough to give him a quick kiss on the side of the head. Then she tapped her finger to the computer screen. “This is the part you need to pay special attention to.”

  Henry looked where she pointed. “Remind me again what we’re doing?”

  “Seeking money so we can do things.”

  “Isn’t that the story of life?” There was no humor in his tone.

  There was an odd creaking rattle from the parking lot. Tommy’s bus rolled into view.

  “I can’t believe they got it running,” Henry said. They went out to the parking lot where the bus was idling. Inside, the bus had been scrubbed clean and smelled like pine soap.

  “Looks great,” Henry said.

  “You’re the hero, man,” Tommy said. “Your friend Cody helped with parts and the whole thing.”

  “I was bound to get something right, eventually,” Henry said.

  Rayanne did a stealth ass-grab. “Good job, dude. We can plan outings and haul people all over town.”

  Linda’s car pulled into the lot. Tommy tapped the horn. The blare was enough to make them jump but Linda headed straight for the doors without seeing them.

  “What’s up with her?” Tommy asked.

  Linda wasn’t known for Monday-morning pleasantries, but Rayanne detected something extra in her step. Some other weight had been dropped on her.

  “Something happened.” Rayanne jumped off the bus and hurried to catch up with her. “Linda? What is it? Is it Margie?”

  Linda shook her head. “Gather everyone together and bring them into the meeting room.”

  “Did something happen?” Rayanne’s mind sorted through the possibilities. “Is it the building?”

  “I’ll tell everyone together,” Linda said, the defeat in her voice unmistakable.

  “Oh no, what happened?”

  Linda reached out to mock-strangle Rayanne and then stepped around her and went to the door. “I need everyone in here, now,” she shouted.

  The bus lurched forward and skidded to a stop. Tommy guided it to the side of the parking lot and shut off the engine. Henry and Ester jumped off the bus with Tommy not far behind.

  Rayanne couldn’t stop the cold panic rising inside her. What would happen now?

  Linda came back inside and held up her hands. “We’re all upset. We’ll talk about it together.”

  Rayanne held back her questions but her stomach went tight. When Henry came in, she said, “It’s something with the Chief. Did you hear anything?”

  “You were with me all weekend,” he said.

  As soon as everyone was together, Linda burst out with the news. “No building.” She held her hands up. There was nothing left to say.

  “What happened?” Ester asked. She paced the back of the room.

&n
bsp; “They told us there was a vote to terminate the sale.”

  “Can they do that?” Tommy asked.

  “It’s their building. They can do what they want,” Linda said.

  “Can Arnie do anything?” Henry asked.

  “Arnie is having the attorneys investigate.”

  “Is it because we’re Indians?” Tommy asked.

  “I don’t think so,” Linda said. “Maybe they had a better offer? Maybe they learned that they need the land. I don’t know. As of this minute, there is no deal to purchase a bigger building. Arnie said the board could use this as an excuse to pull support, which means our funding is in major crisis. Everything is uncertain.” After a long pause, she said, “Wouldn’t be a bad idea to polish your résumés, guys.”

  “Polish them with what?” Tommy asked.

  Rayanne fought back an unwelcome urge to laugh. All this planning, strategizing, and consensus building, and they ended up nowhere. They had less now than when they started. How do you keep everyone pressing forward when there was so little in return?

  “Is it too late to mention I got our bus running?” Tommy asked.

  Linda managed a small smile. “Good work.”

  “What do we do about the festival?” Henry asked.

  “I don’t know what we can do,” Linda said. “Maybe scale it down and have it here? That might be worse than not having it at all. Let’s hold off making a decision on that for now. Arnie’s hoping to convince everyone to keep us funded.” Linda’s voice broke and she wiped a tear from her eye. “We have enough to keep all of us paid for now. Enough time to wind down what we’re doing and—”

  “We can research money from other sources on our own, right?” Rayanne said.

  “Yes, we can,” Linda said. “But if it was so easy to get people to give us enough money, we’d have it, don’t you think?”

  “You’re giving up?”

  “Giving up sounds awfully dramatic. We’re working on it but in the future, this organization may be different from what we’ve been envisioning.”