The Nowhere Witch (Tales of Xest Book 2)

by Donna Augustine

  “You think you get to choose when you fight? Yes. Now.”

  16

  The monkeys had decided they needed an audience and had set up on top of a bookshelf in the office. The missed chords and off drumbeats echoed through the door before I even walked into the office that morning.

  Oh, this wasn’t going to be good.

  I strolled in as if nothing were amiss, as if I didn’t feel like I’d been turned inside out by Bautere, like the monkeys weren’t torturing people with their music, and like I didn’t see dust bunny tracks trailed across the floor.

  “Hey, all,” I said with a smile, as if everything was good. I might’ve added a little too much perk to sound natural and had declared my guilt instead.

  Musso’s grunt was a little rougher than normal. Bibbi wasn’t looking up from her table, too scared to make eye contact.

  Zab looked up at me. “Haven’t I always been a good friend to you?”

  “They’re not that bad.” I glanced over my shoulder at the monkeys before turning back to him. “They’re actually improving a little.”

  “Everybody’s a critic,” Hear No Evil said from his perch. The rest of the band was shooting Zab dirty looks.

  Of course the dust bunny decided to streak across the office right then.

  “Dusty, I told you, outside only,” I yelled in the direction I thought it went, guessing by the plumes.

  “You named it?” Zab asked right before he coughed. He went to take a sip of his cocoa but put the cup down. “It stole my cocoa again.”

  Ah, shit. I’d forgotten to get it cocoa this morning. Although Zab was the last person who should be complaining about the bunny. I’d take the heat for the monkeys, but that was where I drew the line.

  “Hey, the dust bunny problem is as much your fault as mine,” I said.

  He groaned softly as he slumped, covering his face. Musso was shaking his head and Bibbi was still looking straight down, afraid to glance up at me.

  “Look, I’ll get you another cocoa as soon as I get back from my errands,” I said, grabbing my coat before the band started back up.

  The last thing I would do was hang around the office and wait for Hawk to show up while I watched Bibbi do my job. I hit the street, ignoring the sneers and nodding back when it was appropriate until I made it out of town.

  I hiked my way up to the wall, spending my time wondering if Helen wrote Bibbi notes and ground her wheels a little faster when she walked in. It fueled me up the hill a little faster, and without one of Hawk’s nifty doors, it was a long haul. Even with two layers of socks and the heaviest clothes I owned, the fifth wind seemed to favor the mountain.

  Hopefully Hawk would be off handling something else, somewhere else, and he wouldn’t get the satisfaction of knowing I was up here, that I cared about the cracks in the wall, though of course I did. This place was my home too. It had been before he’d booted me, and I didn’t need anyone to tell me to protect it. Seriously, I was the protectorate. Who did he think he was? Offense didn’t tell defense how to guard the goal. He needed to stay in his own lane and stop acting like the king of everything.

  The second I got up there, I remembered why I’d hated this place. It felt worse than when I’d left it. That feeling, the soul-sucking dread that made you think you’d rather be dead than live another minute, was seeping back into the area. You could be having a perfectly splendid day and the second you felt it, it was as if the world around you was burning down and screaming in agony. It wasn’t full force, but it was growing again.

  Right after I’d done the spell that built the wall, it had gone away. Or I’d thought it had. Maybe I’d been too out of it to notice by that point. It was here now, though, its dark magic leaking out and getting its tendrils past my barricade.

  Not only was the evil feeling back, but the hatred too. This thing hated me with a special kind of intensity, and I didn’t think it was just about the wall, as insane as that might seem.

  Either way, something had to be done. There was no doubt that there were breaks, but could I repair them? I hadn’t really known what I was doing the first time. What if I messed the wall up and made the weaknesses worse?

  I was getting ahead of myself, though. First I had to find them. Easiest way to do that was to follow the feeling of dread. I took a step to the left and wallowed in the misery for a minute before taking a step to the right. Oh yeah, definitely to the right.

  “I could’ve gotten you here faster,” Hawk said.

  “Are you following me?” The cold melted away as my blood boiled. I shot him a look over my shoulder that told him how I felt about company.

  “Of course not. You hiked up here. Why would I possibly do that?”

  “You just happened to be here when I came?”

  “You seem to forget that this has been my concern before you even knew Xest existed. You said you weren’t interested in the cracks, so why would I think you’d be here?”

  That was a valid point, not that I’d tell him.

  I took a few more steps, following the feeling of dread and ignoring the hitch in my heartbeat that seemed to come whenever I saw Hawk. Why had I imagined that it would be gone after not seeing him for a few months? Or after he’d booted me out like last night’s trash? Clearly, I wasn’t sane enough to feel what I should. Luckily, I was sane enough to do what was right: stay away from him as much as possible.

  “I’ll show you the spot,” he said, walking with me.

  “I can find it on my own. You should just go about your business.”

  This wasn’t going to be a little outing, where we pretended things were like old times. There would be no working together in any capacity. He’d shut the door on that months ago.

  “I didn’t come here for you. I came here to check the wall, the way I do every day,” he said, still walking the same way I was heading.

  I stopped. He continued in the direction I wanted to go. “Then go check out the rest of the wall. You don’t need to come this way right now. There’s plenty more to do.”

  “You go to the other side of the wall if you want to be alone.” He kept walking.

  “I’m not changing my direction.” I kept walking.

  “Why do you seem madder than you were last night, after I got you evicted? Is there something new you’re angry about?”

  He might as well have asked if I wanted a second piece of toast, as concerned as he sounded. Although how he’d noticed was beyond me. Maybe he had some rage-meter spell on me.

  “I don’t need anything new. You’ve done plenty already.” I wasn’t that much angrier after seeing Bibbi and finding he’d hired her the same day he tossed me out. I’d been nearly this angry all along. That was just the latest insult.

  I trudged along in the snow, trying to walk fast enough to put some distance between us but still get a good look at the wall as I went.

  The first crack appeared and stole my breath away. It was small, but the way it feathered out was alarming. It reminded me of one of those dings you got on a windshield that slowly kept growing until it took up the entire thing. I ran a finger along it, wondering if my spell hadn’t been strong enough for the evil it was trying to contain or if something else was trying to help it out.

  I put my entire palm on it, trying to fuse it back but not really having any idea how I’d made it in the first place. I put my other palm on it, trying to imagine the crack healing, trying to force the magic inside of me outward to the wall.

  “Do you remember anything from when you made the first one?” Hawk asked.

  “Pain, misery, and then instinct. An instinct that seems to be selective,” I said, the wall suddenly washing away my concern over whether or not I talked to Hawk right now.

  I backed up, looking at the spot for some sort of change. Had I accomplished anything? Maybe it was a hair shorter, or was that in my head?

  “Does it look any different?” I asked him.

  “Same,” he said.

  “Are you sur
e? Maybe it’s a tiny bit smaller?” I backed up a little more.

  He pointed to a nearby tree. “See that? I mark the trunk every day. It’s grown at the same pace it did yesterday, and the day before.”

  I walked farther, looking for more. He kept walking in the direction of the next one. It was almost idiotic not to follow him, not that I didn’t consider it anyway. The cracks were more worrisome than his presence right now, though.

  “Show me the others,” I said, dropping any pretense of not caring about the wall or keeping my distance. That ship had sailed as soon as he’d seen me here, and at least he wanted this wall fixed as much as I did. If I could use him for help here and there, I’d be stupid not to.

  He headed uphill, following along the line of the wall, the snow getting deeper as we went. It was nearly knee-high in a couple of hundred feet.

  I swayed to my left, nearly falling with the height.

  Hawk reached back, grabbing my arm and righting me. I pulled back the second I got my balance back. I wanted to yell at him that I didn’t need help but held my tongue. If I’d fallen and he’d let me land on my ass, I would’ve been burning up over that too. The truth was that, at this point, Hawk could do no right. He’d done too many wrongs.

  I couldn’t focus on him, though. I couldn’t add anger to the already bad mix of emotions I got around this place. The feeling of dread that had begun to fade was on the rise again. The next fracture was near.

  He stopped in front of the next crack, the sun hitting it clearly and showing that this one was definitely worse. If you ran a hand across the spot, there was a distinct unevenness.

  “How many more?” The dread in my voice had nothing to do with the feeling it gave off. Until this was fixed, this worry was going to cling to me no matter how far I got from it.

  “There are five in total at the moment. There was a new one every week for the first few weeks. This week there were two new ones.”

  “Five and they’re accelerating.” I stepped back so I could see my creation more clearly. I shivered and didn’t know if it was the cold or the reality stinging me. Even though I’d made this crazy wall of crystal, or whatever it was, I had no idea how—or how to repair it.

  Hawk shrugged out of his coat beside me.

  “I don’t need your jacket.” I took another step away from him before he could try to put it on my shoulders.

  “You’re shivering,” he said, his arm outstretched still.

  “I’m fine. I don’t need your help, and I don’t want you to think we’re going to work together like we used to.” I wouldn’t look at him even as his eyes bored into me. He’d always had more patience than me, but that seemed to be flipping. It was nice to play the calm one for a change, even if it was only in comparison.

  He stepped closer. “If you don’t take this jacket, I’m going to tie it on you.”

  I looked at him now, my eyes narrowing. “You would, too, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yes, I guess I would. I’m just a real bastard like that, not wanting you to freeze to death.”

  “Don’t try to pretend you’re a good guy. You played that game before, and it didn’t hold up well in the light of day.”

  “I’ve been accused of a lot, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard that one before. If you thought I tried to play a good guy, you weren’t paying attention.”

  He was right. There was nothing good about him, even then. He’d been protecting an asset.

  He still had his coat held out to me, and there was a promise in his eyes. I took it, but only because I’d lose the fight. I wouldn’t always, though. I’d guarantee that.

  He moved. I followed him because I needed to see how bad the rest of the cracks were, whether he was there or not.

  We surveyed the final three weak points in silence. When we were done, we lapped back to the door he must’ve used to get here.

  He walked over to it, holding the door open as he stared my way.

  “I was going to take it anyway,” I said, walking past him and into the hallway of the broker’s office.

  I made my way downstairs, and not because I was looking for company. I needed a hot tea or a second-rate cocoa, or anything that could put some warmth back into my body. He followed me downstairs, perhaps under the misunderstanding that we’d be speaking. That we’d make a plan, together.

  Wrong.

  The only bright side to this day was that by the time we got back, the office was closed. I didn’t have to see Bibbi sitting at my table, being all nice and happy.

  Oscar walked into the back room right as I was pouring a tea, trying to ignore Hawk as he settled onto the couch.

  “How’d it get so dusty in here? Your cleaning crew quit?” Oscar asked two steps in the door.

  “We have a dust bunny,” Hawk said.

  I held back a giggle. A fine layer of dust had already settled on some of the lower shelves, and there were paw prints leading across the wooden floor. Dusty had clearly made herself at home. I’d have to remember her cocoa tomorrow, as I wasn’t overly fond of having to live in the dust either, revenge or not.

  Oscar dropped onto the other sofa. “Those are the damnedest things to get rid of.”

  Hawk cleared his throat but didn’t say anything else.

  “How’s the wall?” Oscar asked.

  “Holding steady at five,” Hawk said.

  “What did you think?” Oscar asked me.

  As much as I didn’t want to discuss this with Hawk, or feed into the delusion that I’d work with him, what I’d just seen was causing a burning need inside of me to talk it over with someone.

  I made a noncommittal humming noise. Oscar was easy to find. I’d track him down tomorrow and pick his brain then.

  “That’s it? No thoughts?” Oscar was still watching and waiting for a response.

  I shrugged.

  Of course I had thoughts. My wall was cracked. How could I not have thoughts? There were lots of thoughts, including ones for the man staring at me from the couch.

  “She doesn’t seem to have much to say today,” Hawk added, staring as if he could sense how hard it was to keep the words back.

  “Any idea on how to fix it yet?” Oscar asked.

  I shook my head.

  “Doesn’t seem like it,” Hawk said.

  “Why can’t she just do another wall? Double it up or something?” Oscar asked, glimpsing over at me before directing his attention to the only person speaking in the room.

  “I don’t think it will work. Whatever she did the first time I’m not sure she could duplicate. It wasn’t the spell we were working on. She’s just as likely to tear what is there down completely or make it worse.”

  “So no new ideas?”

  “No, I don’t think so. Unless Tippi has something to add?” Hawk asked.

  I turned to him. “No. I don’t.”

  “Any ideas?” Oscar asked, alternating his looks between me and Hawk.

  I shrugged as I sipped my tea.

  Oscar narrowed his eyes on me. “Why aren’t you talking?”

  Another shrug, because that was not the conversation I was having now.

  He didn’t waste a second before turning to Hawk. “Why isn’t she talking? She’s usually feistier than this. I mean, I can see the words wanting to come out, but she’s, like, visibly biting her tongue.”

  Hawk glanced at me. I refused to look back.

  He looked at Oscar. “She’s mad, and the anger seems to be increasing.”

  “Was it the apartment?” Oscar looked at me. “I told him not to do it. Said it was a bad move.” Oscar dragged a finger across his neck as he shook his head.

  I sipped my tea. If I started a list, we’d be here all night.

  “Wow. You’re so mad you won’t even talk about it.” Oscar turned back to Hawk. “This is bad.”

  “I couldn’t tell you, since she’s not discussing it with me,” Hawk said in a glib tone.

  “Maybe I should stop by Zark’s tomorrow and sit at
the bar,” Oscar said. “Bet you tell Gregor why you’re mad. You two looked chummy enough the last time I stopped by.” He got off the couch and moved to sit on the shelves beside me, his shoulder brushing against mine. “Keep flirting with the boy that way and you’re going to make me jealous.”

  I choked on my tea. Oscar had come by for all of five minutes. He’d sat at the bar, and he hadn’t looked even slightly jealous. What was he up to now?

  Oscar moved closer, flipping a lock of my hair in his fingers. “Unless you’re trying to make me jealous? Is that it, doll?”

  I wasn’t sure what Oscar’s game was, but he was shameless at it.

  “Did you come by for anything in particular, Oscar?” Hawk said. He was still sitting, but he looked like he wanted to get off the couch and lunge at Oscar.

  “Just to see what was up,” Oscar said, smiling.

  The door to the office opened in the other room.

  “It’s Bibbi,” Hawk said, as if he had some sort of inner alert that told him who was walking into his building.

  Bibbi popped her head into the back room and glanced around, her eyes tripping when they hit Hawk. “Hi, all. Just I left my bag here.” She held it up as if she needed to prove the reason. “Uh, Hawk, while you’re here, could I get your opinion on something in the other room? I was having a problem with one of the slips.”

  “Sure.”

  “Well, night,” Bibbi said, walking back into the other room. Hawk got up and followed her.

  “I’m sorry I always have so many questions and I’m always bothering you,” she said, her voice higher than normal, carrying into the back room.

  “It’s fine,” he said.

  They were still talking, but their voices were muffled as they got farther into the office. No matter how I angled my head, I couldn’t hear what else was being said. What I could hear very well was Oscar’s laugh.

  Was I that obvious? One look at Oscar said yes.

  I dropped my tea onto the table, grabbed my jacket, and headed to the door, nodding to Oscar. I wasn’t walking past them to go to my room, and I did want to talk things out.

  “Where are you going?”