Liar Bird

by Lisa Walker

  ‘Our football field,’ said Tyler. ‘What would we all do then?’

  I stared at them. They really did love this town.

  Sam put up her hand, to stop the outcry. ‘We tried the usual stuff — lobbying, campaigning …’

  ‘The posters and coasters,’ I said.

  Sam nodded.

  I glanced around at the posters on the wall. ‘I don’t see why they had to be such a big secret.’

  Sam shrugged. ‘They probably didn’t. I just thought … a clean slate was best. You’ll understand in a minute. Anyway, it became obvious that none of that stuff was going to work. No-one cared. We needed to get smarter. We held a meeting and I suggested a new plan …’

  She pressed the whiteboard button again and the next screen slid out. Murmurs echoed around the room. Sam tapped the board with her marker and the murmurs died out. ‘It’s a five-point plan — all the best ones are.’ She paused. ‘You’re probably going to find this a bit confronting, Cassandra. I’m sorry. But, as a person in the PR industry, I hope you’ll appreciate that this is the way it had to be.’ She gave me a wry look. ‘You may also find that there is a certain symmetry here.’

  I had no idea what she meant.

  She read the first point, tapping her marker next to it.

  1. Engage PR officer, preferably one with high-profile contacts.

  ‘You exceeded our expectations there, Cassandra. We never imagined we’d get someone who’d just hit the media in such a big way.’

  ‘You knew about that?’ I said.

  ‘We actually do read the Herald,’ said Sam. ‘Just not since you’ve been here.’

  I looked around the room. ‘Did everyone know?’ I felt embarrassed.

  Sam shook her head. ‘No. Actually, it’s only me and Mac who read the Herald. And we were the only ones who had the full picture about my plan. Others played their parts as required. They just had to trust me. I told them they would each have a role to play as events progressed. I didn’t want everyone trying to act a part. It would have been too hard. It was hard enough for Mac and I as it was.’ She gave Mac a meaningful look.

  He avoided my eyes.

  ‘Why did you pretend —’

  Sam talked over the top of me. ‘And it was obvious you had no scruples whatsoever, which was just what we needed. In fact, you were pretty near perfect for the position.’ She beamed at me as if congratulations were in order. ‘I thought so, anyway.’

  That hurt — I’d changed, hadn’t I? I stiffened my lips and looked over at Mac. ‘So, what’s his role?’

  ‘I’ll get to that,’ said Sam. ‘Mac was worried you’d be too smart, too devious. That being so used to deception, you’d sense it. I thought your profile and contacts,’ she glanced at Simon, ‘outweighed that concern. And I am the senior officer here.’

  Sam tapped her marker on the board again.

  2. Raise suspicions of PR officer — make her think that ranger is trying to get rid of her. Manager must counteract influence of ranger to maintain credibility of this storyline.

  There was too much in that point to let it pass. I stared at the board, my mind spinning: make her think that ranger is trying to get rid of her. ‘So, the feral pig morning debacle? Was that all staged?’

  Sam nodded. ‘Pretty much. Good cop,’ she pointed at her chest. ‘Bad cop.’ She inclined her chin towards Mac.

  There was an empty wine bottle on the floor next to where I was sitting. My hand curled around it. I didn’t look at Mac. If I had, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself throwing the bottle at him.

  Hannah, the woman who’d staged the protest, smiled proudly. ‘Down with pig-killers,’ she said, giggling.

  My nostrils flared. One wine bottle wouldn’t be enough. I couldn’t believe it. What else had they staged? ‘The seal stranding?’ My voice came out in a croak.

  Sam beamed, shaking her head. ‘Sheer serendipity — the seal turning up then. Could never have planned something like that. It really added a terrific dimension to it all, though. Until then it was just a “get bogged on the beach” scenario.’ She waggled her fingers around the words.

  ‘But … how did you know I was going to get bogged?’

  Sam laughed. ‘That was the easy part. Most novice four-wheel drivers get bogged down there. It’s notorious. And you didn’t even know how to engage four-wheel drive. I would have eaten my hat if you’d made it off that beach without getting bogged. I was going to turn up to save you, of course, but it was much better with the seal. Fantastic, in fact.’

  ‘But, why? I mean, I’d got the message that Mac wanted me gone before then.’ I couldn’t believe it had all been an act. It was too weird. I looked around the room. No-one else except Simon seemed to think there was anything strange about this. If anything, they looked proud. I didn’t look at Mac.

  ‘It was important to keep the good cop/bad cop thing going at every opportunity,’ said Sam. ‘If you’re going to do something like this, you don’t do it by half-measures. You develop your scenario and you stick to it. It’s like performing in a play — you stay in role until it’s complete. We had to make you think Mac was trying to get rid of you, but somehow let things work out so it seemed you were doing a good job. We couldn’t risk you leaving.’ She glanced at Mac. ‘I knew that snake in the toilet was a mistake. It was too much. We were lucky you came back.’

  ‘But — isn’t it all a bit extreme?’

  Sam looked at me blankly. ‘It wasn’t hard. You did something similar yourself.’

  ‘I did not.’ Was that what she meant by symmetry?

  ‘The fake committee?’ Sam said.

  ‘That’s completely different,’ I said.

  Sam raised her eyebrows ironically. ‘Is it?’

  ‘You guys are mental.’ I was trying to keep it together, but I felt humiliated. I glared at Maureen. ‘You knew all this?’

  She shook her head. ‘Not at first. And never all of it.’

  My mind raced. Scenes flashed through it — the Hastings River mouse, the taipan … ‘The flying foxes and the feral chickens. Were they staged too?’

  ‘No,’ said Maureen, quickly.

  ‘Yes,’ said Trev at the same time.

  Maureen glared at him. ‘Well, the flying foxes weren’t. I really did want to get rid of them, until Cassandra explained how important they were.’

  Mac flashed me a glance. I avoided his gaze.

  ‘I didn’t give a stuff about the chickens,’ said Trev.

  Sam waved her hand. ‘Some stuff was planned, some stuff just happened. It’s not like everything was totally sewn up. We needed to keep you busy,’ she snapped. ‘I thought you’d piss off back to Sydney at the first opportunity. Once you were the flavour of the month and all; what was keeping you here? I mean, you’d done your bit — the public totally bought the thylacine thing. So top marks to you two for that.’ Her eyes slid to Simon.

  That reminded me. ‘You tipped him off about the feral pig morning, didn’t you?’ I said to Mac.

  Mac looked at the ceiling.

  That was confirmation enough. ‘Why did you do that?’

  Sam answered for him. ‘We wanted to pique media interest, make sure you kept up your contacts.’ She inclined her chin at Simon. ‘Keep him sniffing around, ready for the big event.’

  Simon bit his lip. He sighed heavily.

  ‘But when you wanted to hang around … we were worried you’d start digging if we didn’t keep you occupied. I was right, too. You did start digging, didn’t you? Anyway, we’re getting ahead of ourselves.’ Sam tapped the board.

  3. Allow PR officer to see ‘thylacine’. Make her think ranger wants to keep it secret — hostile relationship with ranger will ensure she contacts media.

  ‘Couldn’t you just have told the media yourself? Or got me to publicise it? Why did it have to be so convoluted?’ I said.

  ‘Who’s going to believe us?’ said Sam. ‘Thylacine sightings are a dime a dozen. Especially around here; there are
lots of wackos — thylacines, yowies, panthers, you name it. The authorities would be suspicious of our motives too. The dam is not exactly a secret. But if it looks like we’re trying to keep the tiger a secret and the news is broken by you, an outsider, someone with no stake in the dam — much more authentic.’

  I nodded — I could see the logic. ‘Smoke and mirrors,’ I murmured. ‘Lead with the left, punch with the right.’ It was classic PR. Wazza would have had a job for Sam.

  She nodded.

  ‘But how did you get the dogs to appear on time in the right place?’

  ‘We coordinated.’ Sam inclined her head at Mac. He looked away. ‘The toading expedition. I knew where you’d be and when.’

  ‘And Cougan Peak?’

  ‘Mac gave me a call. Told me you were heading up there.’

  I remembered how he’d left the room for a few minutes before we got in the helicopter. I glared at him, but he refused to meet my eyes.

  ‘It was a bit of a job getting up there,’ said Sam. ‘With the floodwaters and all. Took a few hours. My dogs are well trained, of course. We’ve been working on the “appear and disappear” routine for a while.’

  I remembered the dog trials.

  ‘You were a naughty boy tonight, though, weren’t you?’ Sam tapped one dog on the nose. ‘Going after the chickens.’ The dog banged its tail eagerly on the floor.

  Sam gestured at the board again.

  4. Ensure media sightings of ‘thylacine’ and provide photos that can be authenticated.

  Simon turned his camera in his hands thoughtfully, his mouth pursed.

  5. Allow others to do ‘No Dams’ political lobbying. Locals stay out of this.

  ‘Anything else?’ My stomach clenched, imagining — ranger to have affair with PR, then dump her to ensure she is so pissed off she follows through on media to spite him. Surely no-one could make a plan that twisted. Although … I did know of PR jobs where sex had been used as part of the strategy.

  Sam’s eyes flickered towards Mac.

  He looked at the floor.

  I ran my hand along the side of the bottle.

  ‘No.’ Sam’s voice was dry. ‘Everything else that happened was not to plan. In fact, it could have been extremely counter-productive.’ She shot Mac a sharp glare. ‘Luckily it all worked out anyway.’

  ‘The thylacine signs at the town entrance — that’s how you got them up so quickly. They were already made — weren’t they?’ I said.

  Sam nodded briefly, as if this was hardly worth commenting upon. ‘So, it’s up to you two now.’ She turned to Simon, eyeing the copious notes he was making. ‘We can’t force you to keep quiet.’

  ‘We can try,’ said Trev.

  Sam put up her hand. ‘Before you make up your minds … Mac, have you got anything to add?’

  Mac straightened and nodded. He stood silently for a moment — a good presenter’s trick to create suspense. His eyes met mine, then moved on to Simon. When he spoke, his voice was low, but totally compelling.

  ‘I know what we did wasn’t ethical, but it had to be done. Some people here are worried about the town and I wouldn’t like to see it underwater either, but that wasn’t my main motivation. Mainly, I was thinking about the animals.

  ‘You might not know that Australia has the worst extinction record in the world. In only two hundred years, eighteen species of mammals have vanished. That’s half of all mammal extinctions worldwide in the same period. Most of these were in the last forty to fifty years.’

  Simon scribbled madly, like he was at a press conference.

  I tried not to succumb to the persuasiveness of Mac’s voice. I wanted to block my ears. Hum to myself. Stop his voice from pulling at my heart.

  He continued. ‘And it hasn’t stopped yet. In the desert, ninety percent of small mammals are likely to be extinct within ten or twenty years.’ He paused to let that sink in.

  ‘There might not be a thylacine here, but the forest is no less precious for it,’ Mac said. ‘Twenty animals are hovering on the verge of extinction between here and the Queensland border. God knows how many plants. A dam could be just enough to push them over the edge. I didn’t want that to happen.’

  Simon and I stared at him in silence.

  ‘So, do you have any questions?’ Mac said.

  I opened my mouth; but I had so many, I didn’t know where to begin. I looked around the room. The whole setup was almost as bizarre as the courtroom scene in Alice in Wonderland. Had Sam cried off with her head I wouldn’t have been too surprised.

  My bedroom conversations with Mac flashed into my mind. He’d given me a hard time for what I’d done and meanwhile he’d been planning all this? ‘My astroturfing is nothing compared to what you’ve done. You haven’t just formed a fake committee, you’ve formed a whole fake … town.’

  ‘But in a good cause — that’s the difference, Cassandra.’ Mac’s voice was gentle.

  I loved the way he said my name, but still I wouldn’t let myself succumb. ‘Does it really make a difference? Isn’t a lie still a lie?’ I heard the tremor in my voice. You’re nothing but a pack of cards, I wanted to yell. But it wouldn’t be true. These people meant more to me than that. And that was why it hurt. Wonderland had grown on me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to return to the ‘real world’ anymore.

  Whatever discomfort Mac had shown before, it was gone now. ‘If the end doesn’t justify the means, what can?’

  ‘Doping me?’ Simon’s voice was cold. ‘Where does that fit in?’

  ‘You weren’t doped.’ For once Mac didn’t sound convincing. ‘A bit drunk maybe.’

  ‘I could get you for assault. Not to mention fraud and probably a whole lot of other stuff,’ said Simon. ‘The only reason I haven’t yet is that …’ He glanced at me. ‘Well, Cassandra can explain that part if she wants to.’

  Mac looked at me questioningly. ‘Cassandra?’

  ‘Cassie,’ I said.

  Mac and Simon’s eyebrows raised identically in surprise.

  I shrugged.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Cunning counterplot

  Simon fiddled with his camera. I knew the sign: Pre-Headline-Tension was rising. ‘Are you going to tell him, or not?’ he muttered.

  Should I tell Mac the only reason I did the media stuff was to protect him from Simon? He was still waiting. So was everyone else. I couldn’t talk about that now, here … Did it matter, anyway? If he’d cared, he wouldn’t have left me there. I almost felt embarrassed I’d done that for him. ‘Nothing to tell,’ I said.

  ‘So,’ said Sam. ‘Like I said, we can’t force you to keep quiet.’

  Trev stepped forward. ‘I still reckon we can try.’

  Sam shook her head. ‘We’re not heathens. It’s unfortunate you had to find out about the plan. It’s not as clean as I would have liked.’ She glanced at Simon. ‘I read your column. I liked that piece you did about the pulp mill.’ Her mouth opened as if she was about to say something more, then shut again.

  Mac stepped forward and touched my shoulder as I stood up. ‘Call me … Cassie — if you want. I’ll be at home.’ He attempted a smile. ‘Sorry. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t necessarily … want to. You’d understand that.’ He tried to look into my eyes, but I avoided his gaze. I wasn’t falling for that one.

  Cassandra would have understood only too well the need to fulfil a brief, but Cassie … Well, Cassie was an altogether different person and I was glad she was back. I briefly fought an impulse to kick Mac in the shins — then gave in to it. Swinging my leg back, I kicked him as hard as I could.

  ‘Ow. Jesus. Cassandra, Cassie, I said I was sorry,’ he gasped.

  ‘Sometimes sorry isn’t enough.’ I turned and stalked from the room.

  Simon’s face looked pained as he ran down the stairs next to me. ‘Did you have to do that?’

  ‘What, you’re not sorry for him, are you?’ I turned with my hands on my hips.

  ‘No.’ Simon shook his he
ad quickly. ‘No way. As if I’d be sorry after he doped me and stole my camera. Good on you.’ He smiled. ‘I think I like it — I’m sensing the return of the old G8 Cassie.’ He thrust his hand into the air. ‘The banks …’

  ‘Have blood on their hands,’ I completed the chant for him, but my heart wasn’t in it. Kicking Mac in the shins had been satisfying, but it wasn’t what I really wanted to do with him.

  Crawk?

  Yes, even after everything he’d done, René. What was I going to do with what had been done to me? That was the question.

  We were out on the street now. A cold pre-dawn light was bringing the shops into focus. A rooster crowed loudly, followed by another one.

  I jumped and looked down. The two roosters pecked in the dirt near our feet. I’d lost track of them in all the excitement and they’d wandered onto the street. ‘I’d forgotten about you guys. What are we going to do with them?’

  Simon put his hands on his hips and watched the chickens strut around, stopping to scratch every now and then. ‘You know, Cassie, I think you and these chickens are a match made in heaven.’

  ‘Oh, you’re good, you’re very good.’

  Simon rotated his camera in his hands. ‘What do you want me to do, Cassie?’ He turned his green eyes on me, giving me a long, slow look, a lopsided smile on his face.

  He was really quite a charmer. This is Simon, I reminded myself. If he’s charming you, it’s because he wants something.

  ‘Cassie?’

  ‘What do I …? Oh, you mean about the thylacine?’

  ‘What did you think I meant?’ His eyes lingered on me — he always was one step ahead.

  ‘Nothing. Right — the thylacine. Well, you’re a journalist. I guess you’ll just go ahead and journal. Great story — Conspiracy in the country. Feel free to use that.’

  ‘I prefer Cunning conspiracy in the country.’

  ‘Well, if you want to be a smartarse — how about Cunning conspiracy of the country cabal?’

  ‘Or Cunning conspiracy counterplot of the country cabal.’

  ‘You win.’

  ‘But seriously, Cass.’ He stuck his hands in his jeans pockets and, with the toe of his boot, gently pushed away one of the roosters that was pecking at him. ‘I need to report this. I just wanted to know where you stood. Can I quote you?’