Lust

by Melissa Andrea

  “Answer your damn phone, Meela. If you think I’m going to let you ignore me, you’re dead wrong.”

  I hung up.

  Getting out of my car, I jogged across the street, pulling open the door to the coffee shop. A bell chimed, and Nicole’s eyes found mine the second I stepped into the place. I debated on ordering something strong, but I decided against it, walking over to her table. This wasn’t a social call, and I wasn’t trying to give her any ideas.

  Walking up to her, she made a sweep of me from head to toe. I hadn’t dressed in anything out of the ordinary—dark jeans, navy blue t-shirt. I hadn’t even bothered to mess with my hair after my shower, and the dark stands were messy and windblown, but when she landed on my face, I recognized the parted lips and half-lidded expression on her face.

  I pulled the chair out and sat down, ignoring her extra smile and batting eyelashes.

  Save it for someone who wants it, I wanted to tell her.

  “What am I doing here, Nicole?” I asked, getting straight to the point.

  Her pout was instant. “Well, hello to you, too, Reed.” She folded her arms over her low-cut red top and sat back in her chair.

  “We don’t need pleasantries, Nicole. This isn’t a date; fuck, it’s not even a social engagement.”

  Her brows pulled. “I’d kindly ask that you watch your language, Reed. We’re in a public place,” she hissed.

  She looked around, but our surroundings were pretty bare as she had purposely picked a secluded table in the back of the shop.

  “I don’t give a fuck who can or can’t hear me. Just say what you have to say, so I can go on with my life and you can go on with yours. Separately, and as fucking far away from each other as possible.”

  I leaned back in my chair, my hard stare cutting right through her.

  Her eyes watered, and her shoulders slouched. Her attention dropped to her lap where she picked at something on her black skirt.

  “Why do you have to be so hateful, Reed?”

  “Stop asking me ridiculous questions, Nicole. And quit with the woe is me façade. You’re not the victim here. You know exactly why I am the way I am with you.”

  “That was five years ago, Reed!” Her foot stomped and her fists clenched and she struck the tops of her thighs. “Why can’t you forgive me?”

  “You fucked my brother and then got knocked up while I was off trying to build us a goddamn future,” I hissed.

  Her face pales before exploding with embarrassment and what I hoped was shame. “There was no future for us, Reed. You left me right after graduation.”

  “I was only going to be gone for three months!”

  “And then you would be off to college. I was going to be left behind again.”

  I shook my head furiously. I was so angry I could feel the blood rushing to my head. “I’m not going to have this same argument with you, Nicole. I won’t listen to you try to justify screwing my brother for a second time. Nothing you say will ever make what you did right in my eyes.” I pushed my chair out. “Have a nice life, Nicole, and do us both a favor. Forget I exist.”

  I went to stand, but she blurted out, “He’s drinking again.” Again, tears filled her eyes, this time threatening to fall. Her hands twisted in her lap as she went on. “He’s … he’s cheating on me, and I’m pretty sure he’s gambling, too.”

  My brother, older than me by two years, hadn’t always fit the description of a raging alcoholic, chronic adulterer, or obsessive gambler, but that was exactly what he was now. After graduating and returning to Charleston, I’d heard he’d lost it in a bad way, and Nicole and my parents were the ones suffering from his addictions.

  After an intervention, they’d managed to get him clean for a year this time, which was, by far, a record.

  I knew Nicole was hoping I’d take pity on her, throw her a few sweet words and a few comforting touches, but she was so fucking wrong. Maybe it made me a bastard, but I couldn’t find it in me to feel sorry for her.

  “I left him,” she added, and her hopeful eyes searched my face for any bit of sympathy. “Jason and I are staying with my cousin for now. I’m pregnant,” she added, and I’d wish I had tried harder to leave before she offered up that piece of info.

  “Why the hell aren’t you on something for that?”

  She stiffened, and her face went slack as if I’d just slapped her. “Matt had said he’d gotten a vasectomy,” she muttered through a clenched jaw.

  “And you believed the pathological liar?”

  “Yes! He’s my husband.”

  I sighed, hating that she kept putting me in the position of being a dick. “Why are you telling me this, Nicole? You have Mary and Joe,” I told her.

  Mary and Joe Pierce had once upon a time been the two people I called my parents. But I hadn’t seen them in longer than I had Nicole. Nicole’s betrayal had been gut wrenching, but finding out my parents had known all three months I’d been away interning in New York that the girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with was screwing my brother was a whole other level of hell on earth.

  Listening to them go on about how it made more sense this way and I was going see it their way in a couple of years made me feel like someone had taken a bat to my skull. I packed my shit right then and there and left without so much as a fuck you very much.

  “Would it kill you to show me some kind of kindness, Reed? I need help, and I don’t want to keep asking your parents.”

  “If you thought you were going to get that help from me, you are sadly mistaken.” How was that for kindness.

  “What about Jason?” she snapped.

  “What about him?”

  “Aren’t you curious about him? Don’t you want to see him again?”

  “He’s not mine, Nicole. You pulled that shit the other night at the club, but you’re not going to—”

  “I found out I was pregnant before you left for New York, Reed.”

  I searched her face, looking for any sign of a lie in her words, written in her expression, but if she was lying, she was doing a damn good job at hiding it.

  Still, I called her bluff. “You’re lying.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not. Do the math, Reed. I knew I was pregnant before you left, but I knew you weren’t ready to be a family man. If you knew the baby was yours, all your dreams would have ended.”

  She was so earnest; I was beginning to worry she was telling the truth. “This is beyond fucked up,” I growled, dragging my hands down my face.

  She leaned forward, and her hand covered mine. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  I pulled my hand away, and slowly, she retrieved hers, folding them together in her lap. “I need your help, Reed. Please,” she pleaded.

  The desperation in her words was enough to make a small crack in my stone-cold armor I’d built against her, and part of me hated her for that.

  L U S T

  I left the coffee shop almost an hour later.

  Nicole had managed to completely twist me up, and I was so fucking confused. I didn’t know if I believed her. She was desperate, and desperation made people say and do pretty much anything to get what they wanted.

  I’d met my maybe nephew, maybe son once. I knew it wasn’t the kid’s fault that his parents had fucked me over, but it still didn’t change that I hadn’t felt a connection to him. That had to mean something, right? I’d like to think if I had a son, I’d have felt it in my gut.

  I wasn’t at the point in my life to even think about kids, but if Nicole’s son turned out to be mine, I’d step up and take responsibility.

  I was a man of action, and a plan was made, but until I knew for sure, I let myself focus on my other distraction.

  Meela.

  She still hadn’t returned any of my calls, and I was no longer interested in leaving an empty threat on her voicemail; which I wasn’t even sure she was checking. Pulling up her number, I typed out a text and hit send.

  If I had to go over there, I would, and
I told her so in my text. I wasn’t about to let her think what had happened was over.

  It was so fuckin’ far from over, and I wanted more of her.

  I knew the fact that being a virgin had been a pretty big deal, and I didn’t think going home with me last night came to her lightly. She wasn’t going to get away with blowing me off, and in turn, I wouldn’t pretend that giving me that piece of her wasn’t a massive fucking deal to me, which it was.

  When my phone vibrated with her response, I knew for a fact things between us were unfinished. She felt that ache deep in her bones the way I did.

  Another text and her reply managed to enrage the big, bad beast inside me.

  Game fucking on, Meela Davis.

  She couldn’t avoid me forever, and Monday would be here soon enough. I knew I risked giving her too much time to think, but I knew Meela, and whatever she was thinking, the damage was already done.

  She wasn’t going to make this easy. Nope, she was going to make me work damn hard to make her mine, and that was fine because it would be fucking fun.

  I wasn’t looking for forever, and I knew Meela wasn’t either. She was like me more than she wanted to admit. We worked our asses off, and our careers came first, but a good fuck was a close second.

  She had given hating me a good run, but I would show her exactly why it would be so much better to fuck me instead.

  Thirteen

  Meela

  My phone buzzed in my back pocket for what seemed like the millionth time in the past hour. I pulled it out without checking the caller ID and hit the end button. I didn’t have to look to know who was calling. He’d been calling for the past two hours, but in the last hour, he’d really outdone himself.

  I didn’t have time to stick my phone back in my back pocket before it was going off again. I looked at the screen, growling my frustration at the caller. I wasn’t even sure how Reed had managed to get my phone number in the first place.

  My phone stopped vibrating—I’d turned the ringer off thirty minutes after he’d first started calling—and let out a breath of relief when it didn’t immediately go off again. It had only taken him two and half hours to get the hint. No sooner had the thought taken form did my phone light up again.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I groaned.

  Walking toward my bed, I lifted the pillow, dropped my phone on to the bed, and then smothered it with my pillow. I wrapped my arms around my middle and backed away from the bed. I stood there staring, almost as if I expected Reed to somehow come crawling through the phone.

  The instant silence had become so calming that I nearly screamed the apartment down when another ring came from in the living room. I stared out my open bedroom door, and from here, I could see the orange light flashing from our house phone.

  Carrie and I were probably the only two living souls in two thousand and seventeen to have a cordless house phone. I knew our number was unlisted, so how the hell did he get it? This was completely out of hand now and borderline stalkerish.

  Beyond angry and annoyed, I stomped to the kitchen and snatched the phone off the counter. Connecting the call, I brought it up to my ear.

  “Leave me alone, Reed. I don’t want to talk to you! Stop calling me.” I was about to hang up when I heard the voice on the other end.

  “Meela? Honey, is that you? It’s Mom. What’s going on?”

  “Hey, Mom.” I sighed, resting my elbows on the counter. I dropped my head forward, letting my chin rest against my chest.

  “Meela, what’s wrong? Who’s calling you?”

  There was no way in hell I would be able to brush this off that wasn’t going to send off a million mom bells in her head.

  “It’s nothing, Mom. I promise.” I attempted.

  “Don’t give me that. You sounded really upset.” Attempt failed.

  “I think it’s just some kids prank calling.”

  “You know who these kids are?”

  “No.”

  “So you just randomly called one of them Reed? And why does that name sound familiar?”

  Shit, I’d forgotten I’d let that slip. My mom knew what Reed had done to me, but she wasn’t aware of my ongoing battle with him over this past year. Her advice, while good but all wrong for me, was to let it go and move on. She said revenge was a wasted effort and would only consume me like the plague. I loved my mom to death, but she should have known how stubborn her daughter was.

  “Mom, it’s nothing, really.”

  “How can you say it’s nothing when you’re lying to me about it?”

  Well, she had me there. The only thing left was to avoid completely. “Why are you calling me on the house phone?”

  I heard her huff. She was a mom. She knew exactly what I was doing.

  “I’ve been calling your cell, but it’s just going to voicemail after one ring. Why aren’t you answering your cell? Is this Reed person calling you there, too?”

  “Honestly, Mom, I really don’t want to discuss it right now. Can you just trust me when I say that I’m okay, and there is nothing to be worried about?”

  The line went silent, and I waited as she thought over my conditions. I knew, in the end, she would let it go; she trusted my judgment because I had never given her reason not to.

  “Did you girls have fun last night?” she asked, and I mentally thanked her.

  “We did. Carrie ended up going home early.” I realized that I hadn’t told my mom about Carrie yet. A little part of me was dreading telling her.

  “Why did she go home early? Is she okay?”

  I knew my mom was on high alert now, searching for any sign of danger in the near future.

  “Yes, she’s fine. She’s … she’s pregnant. She and Dillon are getting married, and she’s moving in with him.” I took a deep breath because I’d yet to take one during my whole spiel. Telling her had to be done like ripping off a Band-Aid.

  Fast and almost painless.

  “Oh, my god!” Her squeal had me pulling the phone away from my ear. “That’s wonderful news. Her mother must be beyond herself with excitement. When is she due? When is the wedding? Oh Meela, let’s throw her a baby shower here at the house.”

  And this was exactly why I was hesitant to tell her. I knew she would be excited for Carrie—she’s a part of my family and I hers—but my mom knew how I felt about the whole family tradition, and it made her sad. I think when I was younger it was easy to convince herself that I could get over my qualms and have a change of heart.

  But as the years went on and I stood firm on the subject, her hope slowly started to fade. As much as I hated my mom’s disappointment over my lack of interest in love, marriage, and babies, I knew she still had Kaylee, who was all too happy to find a husband and supply my mom with an endless number of grandkids.

  When that time came around, I would be the best freaking aunt to each one of those rug rats.

  I realized my mom was still going on about the baby shower and wedding plans, and I had managed to miss most of what she said.

  “Meela? Hello? When is she due?”

  “Uh, I don’t know actually. I’m not sure.”

  “How do you not know? Didn’t you ask her?”

  “No. We really didn’t have a lot of time to discuss it,” I lied. The truth was it had never occurred to me to ask. I was now feeling like the worst friend ever.

  “Oh, well, find out and let me know. Is she there?”

  “No, she stayed the night at Dillon’s.”

  “Are you going to be okay when she moves out?” She voiced her question with caution and concern.

  “Of course. I’ll be sad, but I knew Carrie and I wouldn’t be roommates forever.” That was a total lie.

  I wasn’t sure if my mom bought it or not, but she went on without missing a beat. “Oh, you girls should come home with Kaylee for the weekend! I would love to see you and, of course, the mama-to-be.”

  “I don’t know, Mom. I’m not really sure Carrie is up for a road t
rip right now in her condition.”

  “Really, Meela, you say that like she has an infectious disease.” She sighed in disappointment. “But you’re probably right. What about you? I miss you so much.”

  It had been a while since I’d been back home, and maybe if she’d asked a week ago, I wouldn’t hesitate to go, but with everything going on, I didn’t think I would be very good company.

  “I don’t know if this weekend is the best, Mom. I have a new case with one of the partners, and she gave me a lot of stuff to go over. Can I get a rain check?”

  She sighed, and the sound was so sad. It made me feel like the worst daughter ever.

  “Yes, of course. How is work going?”

  We spent the next twenty minutes talking about my caseload and the woman in her book club. She told me about the boys she hired to take care of her lawn and how they were both gentlemen. When we finally caught up with everything new, we made plans to talk next weekend.

  I promised to get Kaylee up and on her way home before it got too late. After our I love yous and goodbyes, we hung up. I was left with a guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach over our entire conversation. I hated lying to my mom, but I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my mind. I didn’t even understand it.

  I made my way back to my room, leaning against the doorframe and staring at the spot where my phone hid. I knew I was being ridiculous. Pushing away, I crossed the room and tossed the pillow aside, retrieving my phone. I figured I might as well look to see what other calls I’d missed. When I turned it on, my notifications said I’d missed eight missed calls and … had a new text message. I swallowed hard, and my thumb hovered over the notification.

  My heart was in my throat, and with each beat, it made it harder and harder to breathe.

  Reed: Meela, we need to talk! You have an hour to reply or call me and then I’m coming over. You can’t pretend last night didn’t happen. I won’t let you. One hour.

  My hands shook so badly I could barely hold my phone. I obviously wasn’t going to get away with hiding out in my apartment all weekend as planned. Quickly, I checked the time he’d sent the text. Twenty minutes ago. There was a sense of relief that Reed wouldn’t be knocking down my door at any second.