Lust

by Melissa Andrea

  “I thought you had left.” My voice was shaky.

  “I was in the shower,” he said, and I noticed for the first time his wet hair and the scent of his shampoo and deodorant that filtered from his room.

  “I’m sorry. I wanted …” I didn’t know how to finish that sentence without completely leaving myself vulnerable.

  His arms moved; I could feel his muscles shifting against me, and then his hands were moving along my side and low back. I couldn’t think, I could barely breathe, and it was the first time I didn’t fight what I was feeling, wanting.

  I wanted Reed.

  I wanted this baby inside me.

  I wanted them both, and I wanted it all.

  Maybe it wasn’t love or fairy-tale endings, but it was something, and I wanted it.

  “What? You wanted what, Meela?”

  My hands moved along his chest, up the curve of his neck, and my fingers twisted in the strands of his thick dark hair. I pulled his head down, and when our lips were only a breath apart, I whispered, “You.”

  His mouth was almost brutal when his lips touched mine. They parted eagerly when his tongue slid along my bottom lip. He filled my mouth, leaving behind tiny traces of himself there. I moaned, pulling him closer. I needed him so much closer.

  “What are we doing?” he asked when we broke for air. His lips moved over my pounding pulse in my neck.

  “I’m no longer pretending.”

  “About fucking time,” Reed growled, nipping at the corner of my mouth, and I laughed. “Can we move this to my bed?”

  “Yes, I’m too pregnant to be taken up against the wall.”

  “You’re never too pregnant for that, Meela, but all the other times we’ve done this, it’s been too fast or anger-induced, and I just want to take my fucking time.”

  He led me backward to the bed, lifting my shirt up and over my head and then tossing it to the floor. His lips moved over the swell of my breasts, and then he was pulling down the straps of my bra and pulling my nipple into his mouth. The inside of his mouth was hot and wet, and it felt amazing. My fingernails sunk into his scalp, and I pulled his head closer to me, which provoked him to close his teeth around my nipple, and I cried out.

  “I know you wanted to take this slow and all, Reed, but ... oh god,” I moaned when he palmed my other breast, rolling the nipple around with his fingers.

  “You were saying, Ms. Davis?”

  And then his hands wrapped around the back of my thighs, lifting me onto his bed and fitting himself between my legs. Grabbing my hips, he pulled me into him, and I could feel the hard bulge behind the zipper of his jeans.

  “Lie back,” he instructed, and then he was gone, leaving me on the edge of his bed half naked and panting like a damn dog.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, but then I heard the sound of his zipper and the rustle of his jeans, and I knew he was getting naked.

  I half sat up so I could see him in the moonlight when he moved back toward the bed. And then he was there, and my breath caught at the sight of him. He was all male—hard and muscle and heat. I wanted to touch him and feel him under my fingers, teasing my skin.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked from between my legs again when I pushed myself up on my arms.

  “I want to see you and touch you.”

  “It’s still my turn, sweetheart.” And then he was pulling my leggings down, and with a flick of his wrist, they were gone, and I was completely naked in front of him. Without the urgency, I felt helplessly nervous.

  “Reed,” I complained, and my hands moved to cover my stomach that had grown some in the past few weeks.

  “Don’t you dare,” he growled, crawling up my body and forcing me back. “Cover your sexy ass from me. Again.”

  “I’m huge, Reed. It’s not exactly sexy.”

  “Are you serious? Meela, you’re fucking gorgeous, and seeing you pregnant is one hell of a turn-on.”

  He bent down, kissing a line between my breasts and over the swell of my belly.

  “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you half naked and looking at yourself in the mirror.” He whispered kisses along the swell of my stomach. “Every time I see you, I want to touch and kiss you here, where you grow a piece of me.”

  His words left an ache through every bit of me.

  Leaning up, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body against his, and drew him close. “How the hell am I supposed to go slow when you say things like that to the horny pregnant woman with hormones for days?”

  “Let me show you,” he whispered into my ear, making me shiver.

  And then he proceeded to.

  Multiple times.

  L U S T

  “I think we should get married.”

  I didn’t look up from my magazine. This was the fourth time he’d asked me this week. “You’ve said that before, and I told you we don’t need to get married because I’m pregnant.” I flipped the page.

  “That’s not why I think we should get married,” he growled. My legs were over his lap, and his hand moved up my thigh and squeezed.

  I gasped and slapped his hand with my magazine. Tossing it on the couch, I folded my arms across my chest. “Okay, why do you think we should get married this time?”

  “Well”—he shifted, turning toward me, and he fingered a strand of my hair—“I was thinking since you aren’t working right now—”

  “Which is only temporary,” I pointed out.

  “Which is only temporary,” he repeated. “But until then, you have no insurance. If we get married, I can put you on my insurance.”

  “So let me get this straight.” I brought my finger up to my chin. “Instead of getting married because I’m pregnant, you think we should get married so we can commit insurance fraud? That’s not any better, Reed. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s worse.”

  “I think it’s smart.”

  I sighed, sat up, and tucked my legs on one side under me. “Reed, we can’t get married.”

  “You keep saying that, but unlike me, you have yet to give me a good reason.”

  “Getting married because I’m pregnant or need insurance is not a good reason.”

  “You still haven’t given me your reasons.”

  “I don’t need reasons. I have one damn good one; we don’t love each other.” I looked at him, biting my lip. “Right?”

  He stared at me for a long time. I could see the thoughts running through his head, and then his hand came up, and his thumb moved over my bottom lip.

  “I have no interest in being married to you for any other reason than what I said,” he said softly, and his eyes darkened.

  I swallowed hard, looking down at the magazine cover next to me. “Well, there you have it.” I tried to say that with as much flippancy as I could.

  He grabbed my chin with his fingers and pulled me to look at him again. “What about a compromise?”

  I frowned. “A compromise? How?”

  “We get married to put you on my insurance, and then once the baby is born, we’ll get it annulled.”

  “You realize in order to get an annulment,” I said, lifting up and straddling Reed’s lap. I placed my arms on either side of his head and whispered in his ear. “We can’t have sex.” Lowering myself onto his lap, he was already hard, and I rocked my hips, drawing a moan from his lips.

  “Fuck, Meela,” he growled and grabbed my ass, rolling my hips again.

  Thirty minutes later, I laid naked on the couch and Reed on the floor right below me. We hadn’t said anything while our breathing calmed. I had distracted Reed for the time being, but I didn’t know how long it would last.

  “It’s only for a couple of months, Meela. It’s not forever.”

  Thirty effing minutes.

  My teeth sunk into my lower lip, and the urge to cry stung my eyes, but I blinked them away, staring at the ceiling. Reed had no idea what he was asking, and I had no idea what hurt worst; what he was asking or what he wasn’t.
He was clearly able to separate his personal feelings from this marriage proposal out of obligation, so I could do the same… right?

  “Okay,” I finally whispered. “Let’s do it.”

  Reed shot up, leaning into the couch to look at me. “Really?”

  I didn’t look at him as I nodded. “Really.”

  His finger hooked my chin, and he tilted it toward him. “This is the right thing to do, Meela.”

  And I really fucking hoped so.

  L U S T

  “What the hell?” Reed’s groggy growl overlapped the sound of my phone going off. “Who the hell is calling you?”

  I lifted up on one arm, running my eyes with my other hand. “It’s not a phone call. It’s a text.”

  “From who?” He turned, throwing an arm across my hips.

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  Reed was obviously not a morning or four in the morning kind of person. Leaning over, I grabbed my phone and swiped across the screen, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the bright light so I could focus on the message.

  “Holy hell.” I gasped as I read the message.

  “What?” Reed asked, jumping into a sitting position.

  “Oh, my god,” I freaked, crawling out of bed. I must have spun in three circles before I realized my clothes were not on the floor.

  “What, Meela?” Reed’s voice was almost full panic.

  “Carrie …” I searched my drawers for something to put on.

  Then Reed was behind me, turning me around and forcing me to stand still for two seconds. “What about Carrie? What’s wrong, Meela?”

  “She’s in labor,” I said, still feeling in shock.

  “Shit,” he said, finally joining me. “Get dressed. I’ll drive you.”

  I sent Carrie a quick reply, which I was pretty sure made no sense except the part where I said I was on my way and would meet her there. After Reed and I dressed, he grabbed the keys, I got my sweater and purse, and we locked up.

  It didn’t take us long to reach the hospital, and when we entered Labor & Delivery, Dillon was there, pacing back and forth. I searched the small waiting room for Carrie, but she wasn’t there. When Dillon focused long enough to spot me, he looked like a wild man.

  “Where’s Carrie? Is she okay?”

  “She fine. She made me wait out here until you got here so you didn’t have any problems getting into the back.”

  Leave it to Carrie to worry about me while she was in labor. I effing loved my person.

  “Let’s go,” I told Dillon, not wanting to leave Carrie alone much longer. I turned toward Reed, and before I could say anything, he pulled me to him, kissed my lips, and then whispered. “Go. Tell Carrie congrats for me.”

  I nodded. “You don’t have to stay.”

  “I’m staying,” he said firmly.

  Once we were in the back, everything happened so fast I didn’t really have time to digest everything that was going on past the important details. Her water broke, she was dilated to three centimeters, and she was adamant she got an epidural before the pain kicked in.

  Forty-five minutes later, Carrie was numb from the waist down and I was sitting next to her in the room with just the two of us. Dillon had gone to get the stuff from their car while we were still waiting.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked her.

  “I’m good,” she said with a tight smile as she avoided my eyes.

  “I’m so glad your dream wasn’t to be an actress because you suck at it.” We both laughed.

  She picked at her nail. “I don’t want to scare you.”

  “Oh, my god, Carrie. I’m fine! I’m only worried about the whole taking care of the baby part.” I was lying, and I was so much better at it than Carrie.

  “Is Reed here?”

  I nodded, trying not to smile at the mention of him. “Yes.”

  She smirked. “Wow, you have it bad.”

  “I do not.” I hadn’t told Carrie about me and Reed getting married, and I knew a part of me was worried about how she would take the news.

  “You, my beautiful friend, are smitten.” I bit my lip, and she instantly knew something was up. “What? Tell me,” she demanded.

  “Reed and I are getting married, but,” I added before she could disapprove, “we’re only doing it so I can be put on his insurance.”

  She thought about it for a minute and then nodded. “That’s a good plan.”

  I frowned because she actually looked like she meant it. “That’s all you have to say?”

  “Yes. Did you expect something different?”

  I tilted my head cautiously. “I don’t know.”

  She laughed. “Honestly, Meela, I think that’s smart. You need insurance. You still have a few more months and a lot more doctor’s visits.”

  “So you don’t think it’s a mistake?”

  “Nope.”

  I was relieved because I actually believed her. “Okay.” I shook my head. “Enough about that ... you’re going to have a baby!”

  She nodded, accepting my subject change. “I’m terrified, Mee’s.”

  “Well, I think all first-time moms are. It’s normal, but Dillon is here, and of course, I’m not leaving until the little chicken nugget is here.”

  She laughed. “So you’ll stay with me during the delivery?”

  I covered her hand with mine. “Of course. I’ll just stay upwind of the whole thing.”

  And when she was finally ready to push, that was exactly where I stayed. I held her hand, talked her through her breathing, and told her how amazing and brave she was—which she totally was. When they finally put her son on her chest, I cried with her.

  “You did it,” I told her, kissing the side of her head. “You’re a badass.”

  I stayed with Carrie until later that night. Holding baby Alex while she slept, I snuggled his tiny body against mine. The joy and love I felt for Carrie and her son amazed me. I had never expected to feel this way toward him, but I had so much love for the little guy and it only made me wonder if this was how it would be when it was my turn.

  Thirty Three

  Reed

  “Are you nervous?” I asked Meela out the side of my mouth, smiling quickly at the two women who walked by, eyeing us curiously.

  Meela sat next to me on the bench outside Judge Miliks’s chambers as we waited for him to call us in. When she didn’t answer me right away, I turned to look at her, but she was busy watching the two women who had just passed us.

  “Meela?” I waited.

  She blinked and then focused on me for a split second before staring straight ahead. “What’s there to be nervous about? It’s not a real marriage, right?”

  She didn’t look at me when said the words, and despite her nonchalant attitude about our not real marriage, the stiffness in her body said otherwise as she gripped the bench hard enough that her knuckles had turned white.

  I wanted to cover her hand with mine, but I knew that would probably only manage to make things worse. My next instinct was to find the nearest room with a lock on the door and fuck the doubt from her, but I sure didn’t think that would go over so well either. Meela was hell-bent on making damn sure this wedding was void of anything that kept this from being anything other than pure obligation.

  Having sex on our wedding day would definitely fuck that up.

  “Am I going to get hate mail?” she asked suddenly, and I frowned, turning to look at her.

  “What?” It annoyed the fuck out of me that she refused to look at me.

  “Well, I’m sure a lot of women will be upset over my taking Reed Pierce off the market. Even if it’s only for a couple of months, which they don’t know that, or that it’s not going to be a real marriage, which they also don’t know that.”

  “You’re rambling.”

  “I’m being realistic.”

  “Well, in that case, you’re right. We might have to hire you a bodyguard.”

  “Ha-ha, funny. I’m being serious.”

/>   “You’re being a lot of things right now, but serious isn’t one of them.”

  She ignored me. “You know, we never set any rules with this … arrangement, Reed.”

  What is it with her and fucking rules?

  “Rules?”

  “Just because we’re doing this doesn’t mean you have to give up seeing other women. You and I, what we’re doing, we’re just making the best out of a not-so-ideal situation.”

  My jaw clenched. “When you say ‘what we’re doing,’ do you mean us fucking each other or getting married?”

  Finally, she fucking looked at me.

  There was that spark in her eyes as we stared off, but I welcomed the flicker of anger rather than the catatonic state she’d been in all morning. I knew what Meela’s problem was, but trying to convince her that she was wrong about everything wasn’t going to change a thing. It had been hell as it was to get her to agree to marry me for the reasons I gave her, which had nothing to do with the real ones. But she was stubborn and hardheaded, and she needed to feel in control of the situation.

  “Both,” she answered tightly, and then she looked away again. “I just wanted you to know I didn’t expect this to be a real …” She trailed off and waved her hand in the air.

  “Just say the fucking word, Meela. Marriage.”

  She glared at the wall, and it pissed me off that I found myself jealous of the fucking wall. I could handle Meela’s anger; it was this stony calmness that left my nerves on edge.

  “Why are you getting angry, Reed? This is good news for you.”

  “Don’t do me any favors, Meela.” I stood, catching her off guard, and she watched with wide eyes as I kneeled in front of her, pinning her with my eyes. “Real or not, I’m not going to fuck anyone who isn’t my wife, and in twenty minutes, that will be you, Meela.”

  I held her there, daring her to say something else on the matter, but she didn’t. And then her name was being called excitedly from down the hall, drawing both of our attention. Carrie, her best friend and our witness, was speed walking toward us.