Can't Walk Away

by Molly McLain

  Ally must have zonked out hard, because she woke up in her bed around two in the morning with a very warm, very muscled man snoring quietly behind her. When she woke again just before six, it was to the sight of his very fine ass sliding into a pair of black cargo pants.

  “You brought a change of clothes last night?” she murmured, not ready to fully wake up, but not wanting to miss out on saying goodbye either.

  “Left them in my truck.” He zipped up and bent to kiss her. “Didn’t want to assume you’d let me stay.”

  She smiled. “I don’t recall you asking, Sheriff.”

  He winked. “That’s the beauty of asking when you’re asleep.”

  “Dirty, Sheriff. Downright dirty.” She rolled over to stretch her back and the next thing she knew it was nine in the morning and he was long gone.

  Mark had texted around lunchtime, wanting to know if she could meet him at his place that night. He had a Skype conference with some of his National Guard buddies that he didn’t want to miss. So she went over early and took a turn making dinner for him.

  She also used the opportunity to peruse the house she’d be living in, sooner than later, if Mark had it his way. It didn’t make much sense for them to hop between her place and his, when his bed was bigger and softer and they could move around without constantly bumping into each other.

  Being in his house would also allow her plenty of time to turn one of the spare bedrooms into a nursery. Gladys had called yesterday to tell her they’d be back in business next week, so she’d only have the evenings to work on getting baby things ready and being under the same roof would eliminate travel time back home every night.

  By the time Mark came home that evening, looking completely exhausted, she had a game plan in place. New paint and some work on the closet were the biggest things needed, besides furniture and of course a crap ton of baby clothes. She told him as much and he promised they’d get started over the weekend.

  He’d just about finished up his Skype chat when she strolled back into the living room and sat in the chair, away from the screen and camera, petting Bo’s ears.

  “Where’s your girl, Dunn?” one of the guys asked. “I heard she left you for the new fire chief.”

  Ally snorted and Mark flipped his buddy the finger.

  “She there, man? Put her on screen. I wanna see how outta your league you are.”

  “Believe me, there’s no doubt she’s too good for me,” Mark chuckled. He waved her over and she shook her head. She didn’t have any make-up on and her hair was in one of those sloppy half ponytails. “She’s playing shy, boys. Might take some persuading.”

  “Maybe we should invite her to Vegas in your place.”

  “Vegas?” Ally popped up from the chair and slid into Mark’s lap. The faces of the three military men blinked and then smiled back at her. “When are we going to Vegas?”

  They all laughed, including Mark.

  “Jake and I are heading down for New Year’s,” the guy who’d invited her onscreen said. “Mark says he can’t go. Something about work. I’m Sean, by the way.”

  “I believe it.” She wiggled in his lap. “All work and no play.”

  One of the other two men—the blond—shook his head, grinning. “Dunn, it doesn’t sound like you’re keeping your woman happy. Don’t make me come to River Bend to finish what you can’t.”

  Ally grinned. “Hey, I never said he wasn’t keeping me happy.”

  They shared another round of laughs and then the guys said goodbye. Mark shut down the laptop and leaned back on the couch with her snuggled in his arms.

  “You’ve got a happy puppy look on your face right now,” she told him, tracing her finger over his lips.

  “They’re my brothers, you know? It’s not very manly, but I miss those SOBs from time to time.”

  “Then go to Vegas.”

  He snorted. “Nah, plans changed. I’m more than happy to spend New Year’s Eve with you and what is it you’re calling it? The bean?”

  “Yep. Our little baking bean.”

  “I like that.”

  “Me too. Can’t wait to hear his heartbeat.”

  “His?”

  She shrugged. “I have a feeling. Anyway, you should go to Vegas. It’ll be good for you to get away.”

  He shook his head. “Not without you.”

  She’d only be back to work for a couple of weeks. It hardly seemed fair to ask Gladys for time off so soon, but she didn’t want Mark to miss out on this opportunity either. “It’s just a weekend, right? I’ll see what I can do.”

  His face lit up. “Really?”

  She nodded. “Why not? I’ve never been to Vegas and, after the baby comes, I’ll be lucky to go anywhere other than the pediatrician’s office and the grocery store.”

  “Not true, because as soon as you’re comfortable leaving the bean with your parents for a couple hours, I’m going to take you out. Every week. Mommy and daddy time.”

  Holy crap. Out of nowhere, pressure began to build in her chest. “I’m going to be a mom,” she said in a rush.

  He pulled back and glanced down at her, half-frowning, half-smiling. “That’s usually how it goes when you have a baby, pretty girl.”

  “But you don’t understand. A little person is going to be dependent on me. Not just for diaper changes, but for my body.”

  His smile slipped away, leaving just the frown. Then the light went on and his face turned as pink as her shirt. “Oh, that.”

  “Yeah. That. Oh my God.” Why was that realization just hitting her now? “What if I’m horrible at it? What if I can’t even feed my own baby? What if I just get these huge, gross boobs that won’t even work?”

  He blinked at her for a moment and, if she had to guess, it was because he was making a conscious effort not to look at her chest. “Babe,” he finally said, his hand curving around her jaw. “You’re perfect and beautiful now, and you will be then, too.”

  “You can’t know that. It’s months away.” Dammit it, this was silly, freaking out over something as natural as having a motherly body. It was the hormones, for sure. Well, that and the sudden fear that Mark might not find her attractive once she evicted their child from her womb. “I don’t have stretch marks now, but I will soon enough. They’re in my genes,” she whispered, tears brewing in her eyes.

  He smiled and swiped them away with his thumbs. “I will love every beautiful part of you, babe. Besides, it won’t be long before I start losing my hair, especially if we have a little girl and she looks even a little bit like you.”

  “You’re gonna be one of those hot dads all the moms at the park secretly fantasize about.”

  He chuckled and brushed his mouth against hers. “Moms are hotter, and the hottest one of all? The one who spends nine months baking my bean and then the rest of her life nurturing that child. You’re giving me the greatest gift, Ally. You take my breath away now, but you’ll slay me then.”

  There wasn’t enough air in the room to keep her lungs sated and her heart steady in her chest. She clung to his shirt, her body shaking and her gaze unwavering from his. “We’re really doing this. You and me.”

  He nodded, a big goofy grin on his face. “Fucking amazing, isn’t it? Let’s go for a ride. There’s something I want to show you.”

  “Right now? It’s getting late.” And she was in her pajama pants already.

  “Yep, but it’s a nice night. Let’s go.”

  “I should change...”

  He got to his feet and pulled her up behind him. “Nope, you’re perfect. Just grab your jacket.”

  ***

  It was a nice night. Almost fifty degrees a full week into December.

  Mark’s hands still shook around the steering wheel.

  He drove them to the river, because it was Ally’s special spot and because the last time he’d brought her here, he’d fucked up. He’d put his job before her and he needed to make right on that dumbass move.

  “Let’s walk,” he said, h
elping her out of truck and tangling his fingers through hers.

  “I’m wearing slippers,” she protested and he chuckled, glancing down the fuzzy pink things on her feet. They were a good match for the bunny printed pants she had on, too.

  “Easily fixed.” He turned his back to her and lowered to a squat. “Climb on.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “Dead. Now get on before I decide to throw you over my shoulder instead.”

  It took her a few seconds, but she finally gave in, muttering beneath her breath, “I’m not exactly light, you know.”

  “You’re a feather compared to the shit I carried over in Iraq. And drills, for that matter. Unless, of course, you’re just questioning my strength. In that case, there’s something else I can show you while we’re at it.” He began toward the wooden bridge that spanned across a narrower strip of water. The moon was bright tonight, so it was easy to see the path ahead of them.

  “Like what?” she asked. “Are you going to dangle me over the side of the bridge by my ankles?”

  He laughed. “Such a smart mouth.”

  “A smart mouth you haven’t let me use nearly enough lately. I think you’ve made your point about not wanting me just for my pajama clad bod.”

  “Not quite. But soon.”

  “Hmm.” She rested her head against his. “The water is so pretty. All sparkling. If you were hoping for a romantic moment, it’s been achieved.”

  Oh, she had no idea.

  He got them to the highest point on the bridge, where the night seemed even brighter. The dark blue-gray sky was filled with bright stars and the breeze was just enough to ruffle loose strands of Ally’s hair across his face. He set her down and turned to her, pushing the silky wisps from her cheeks and tucking them behind her ears.

  Neither the stars nor the water had anything on the glitter in Ally’s big eyes and he wondered why in the hell he’d been so stupid, waiting this long. A part of him had loved Ally Barrett since they’d first become friends, years before they’d gotten involved as lovers. The moment it all came together for him though? It really had happened long before they got pregnant.

  “Do you remember last February when I got the call about my Guard buddy, Franks?” He smoothed his fingertip across her bottom lip.

  “Like it was yesterday.”

  He felt the same way. Just like he did about every other friend he’d ever lost to the evil bitch, war. The only difference between Franks and the others was that he’d had Ally in his arms when the call came. He’d nodded along as his SSG Morton relayed the news and requested his participation in the military service that would eventually follow.

  When he’d clicked off the phone and blindly pummeled it in the wall on the other side of his bedroom, Ally hadn’t said a word. She just held on a little tighter and didn’t ask questions.

  “I’ll never forget what you did for me that day.” Shit, his voice sounded weak. He swallowed back and sucked in a breath. “You remember that accident last spring that took those teenagers?”

  She nodded again, this time with tears glistening in her eyes.

  “You didn’t ask about that either. Not even when I beat the fuck out of my punching bag.”

  “Your hands were bleeding,” she added and he gave a weak laugh.

  “Yep, and you just cleaned me up and took me to bed. Reminded me that, while life can be a real motherfucker sometimes, it’s not all that bad when you have someone to come home to. Hell, I didn’t even ask you to be there, but you were.”

  “I didn’t want you to be alone.”

  Christ. He had to look away. Couldn’t let her see how hard she fucking tore him up when she said things like that. He’d pretty much been on his own since he was seventeen and his parents moved to Hastings. Yeah, he’d had Reed and Pam to look after him, but at the end of the day, he was on his own. The military added to that solidarity. Part of another kind of family...yet still alone. It wasn’t smart to get too attached, because you never knew when someone you’d come to care about wouldn’t be there anymore. For the longest time, that’s exactly the train of thought he’d lived by. Keep your emotions out of it, Sergeant. There’s no room for getting touchy-fucking-feely when you’ve got a job to do.

  “You’ve twisted me all sorts of ways, pretty girl. Half the time, I don’t know if my feet are on the ground or over my head. I just know that you...you do something to me I can’t explain. Something I didn’t understand and didn’t think was real. But it is real. One hundred fucking percent, because there isn’t a single part of you that isn’t exactly that.”

  She pushed up onto her toes and pressed a sweet kiss to his mouth. He kissed her back, but he wasn’t done.

  “You gave me love when I didn’t ask for it, Ally, and no matter what you say, I know I don’t deserve you. Yet you refuse to give up on me. Even before the baby, you kept trying when there was only you and I to fight for.”

  He set her back from him, both of her hands loosely in his. She trembled even more than he did now.

  “I want to be for you what you’ve been to me for so long already. A rock, solid and relentless. A pair of strong arms and even stronger heart to come home to. Every. Single. Day.”

  He saw the flash of realization in her eyes a second before she bit her lips together and whimpered. He grinned and reached into his pocket.

  “Ally, I love you for you. I choose you for you. The Big Guy above might’ve chosen you to be the mother of my children before I could ask you myself, but, baby, in my heart I always knew it’d be you.”

  Still holding her left hand in his, he got down on one knee and held the shiny ring up for her to see. “I’m all in, pretty girl, and there’s nothing I’d rather do than spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Her right hand began waving and her slipper covered feet began bouncing up and down on the bridge before a shriek pierced the air around them.

  He laughed and stroked his thumb over the finger he hoped wouldn’t be bare much longer. “Is that a good scream?”

  “Oh my God, put that ring on my finger already!” She dropped to her knees in front of him and he did as he was told, sliding the white gold, diamond adorned engagement ring onto her hand. “It’s beautiful,” she gushed, her eyes bright, sparkling prisms beneath the moonlight. “You have excellent taste, Sheriff.”

  Ha. “I’m glad you like it, but you didn’t give me an answer.”

  Her lips pressed together in a playful grin, she glanced up at him. “I don’t recall you asking me a question other than the one about screaming.”

  Good God, this woman. “Ally Barrett, will you be my wife?”

  Her eyes danced in the night once again. “Only if you’ll be my husband, Mark Dunn.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I can’t get that sound out of my head.”

  Ally grinned and slid an arm around Mark’s waist as they walked out of the doctor’s office and back to his truck. “It’s pretty incredible, isn’t it? To think that something so tiny can have such a strong heart beat already.”

  “Not so small anymore though, right? Definitely bigger than a bean.”

  While she chatted about her health history with the doctor, Mark had been transfixed on a development brochure. When the doctor stepped out to retrieve a copy of Ally’s lab test results, Mark had nudged her and pointed to the final stage. Baby head down and engaged for delivery.

  “Holy shit,” he’d muttered. “That’s a big kid. Are you up for that?”

  She’d laughed and reminded him she no longer had any choice in the matter. And, in all likelihood, she was going to have a big baby because, at eleven weeks, she’d already started to spill sugar in her urine. She’d hoped to avoid the complication, but it seemed to be in her genes. Her mom had had gestational diabetes with both her and Luke, and a couple of her cousins had failed their glucose tolerance test later in the pregnancy, as well. That Ally was already showing signs made her nervous, but if she was careful, she could mana
ge it and have a healthy baby. She’d drink the sugar-laden fruit punch next week and go from there. Of course, she was nervous, but at least she had the education behind the disease. Unfortunately she also knew what was ahead for her, including a potentially large baby and more frequent—and expensive—ultrasounds to monitor the baby’s growth.

  “What do you say we take a ride out to the farm?” Mark asked when they reached his truck.

  “Don’t you have to go back to work?” She smoothed her hands over the front of his fleece police jacket, and he shrugged.

  “Nah, I’ll take the afternoon off. I think we should tell you folks as soon as possible, so you can talk to your mom about the diabetes. Whatever I’ve got waiting for me back at the office can wait.”

  “You sure?” She’d been mentally preparing herself for the inevitable conversation for weeks. Her dad was going to be upset on principle, but she had her own gripes about that. Namely, she was twenty-eight years old and at the end of the day, what she did with her life was up to her. Including the ring on her finger, which she suspected would piss her father off more than the baby. He’d ask Mark why it wasn’t there ten weeks ago, before he’d gotten his little girl pregnant. “It could get messy,” she added.

  “I’m sure, now hop in. There’s something I want to talk to you about first.”

  She did and he drove them to the other side of town, toward her parents’ place. Just a mile down her folks’ road, Mark pulled over and put the truck in park.

  “I noticed the panic on your face when the office manager started going over how much everything was going to cost,” he said, taking her hand and sliding his thumb over the ring on her finger. “I don’t want you to worry about any of that. You’re going to have enough stress managing your blood sugar.”