Deadly Past

by Reus, Katie

  “I know it’s not my business, and if you want, just tell me to shut up,” Louise started. “But have you guys decided if you’re going to find out the sex of the baby?”

  She blinked. Okay, so they weren’t going to gloss over it. She was surprised Louise was being so open about it. Surprised and grateful, because at least it gave her an opening to talk about her pregnancy. “Actually I hadn’t really thought about it. But I would like to know just because I’m curious. Lincoln hasn’t mentioned anything though, so I don’t know how he feels.” She just knew that he wanted to come to all of her doctor’s appointments.

  “I liked knowing because it was easier to pick a name,” Serenity said before taking a sip of her drink. Then she glanced at her cell phone, which buzzed across the countertop. “If you guys will excuse me, I’m going to head out to the barn. Harper apparently needs me.”

  Panic punched through Autumn at the thought of being alone with Lincoln’s mom. Sure, the woman seemed perfectly nice, but they’d never spent any alone time together. Louise had taken a few of her classes and she knew her just from around town but that was it. Now she was pregnant with her youngest son’s baby—what if she really hated Autumn?

  “You should see your face,” Louise said as the door shut behind Serenity.

  “What?”

  “Honey, I’m not going to bite. And I promise I will try to stay out of your business and not give you any parenting advice that you don’t ask for. I had a nightmare of a mother-in-law and I never want to be like that—I mean, I know you and Lincoln aren’t together,” she added. “But you’re going to be in our lives. And we are very excited to get to know you. No pressure or anything, but if you need help with anything baby related, just let me know. I won’t push, but the offer is there so feel free to reach out.”

  Somehow that was the perfect thing to say and once again, to her utter horror, tears sprang to her eyes. “Dammit,” she muttered.

  Louise quickly grabbed a paper towel and handed her one across the countertop. “I remember those days. With Easton I was like a leaky faucet that just wouldn’t shut off. Lincoln was actually a dream when I was pregnant with him. Lucas, on the other hand, talk about morning sickness. Have you had any?”

  She shook her head. “I’m just tired a lot. And it’s weird not being able to drink coffee.”

  “Having a kid will change everything for you. Especially if that kid grows up to be an adrenaline junkie. Or goes into a dangerous profession.” She shook her head slightly.

  “How do you deal with it?” In that moment, Autumn realized that all three of Louise’s boys had gone into fairly dangerous professions and all had served in different branches of the military. Easton was a firefighter, Lincoln was sheriff and Lucas was in construction, which in itself had a lot of dangers.

  “Keeping busy, staying active in the community, drinking wine,” she said on a laugh. “I’m not gonna lie, there were some nights I cried alone in the shower because I didn’t want my husband to know how hard it was dealing with all of them being gone and in danger. In some cases, I wasn’t even able to have contact with them at different times. But kids have to live their own lives,” she said on a shrug.

  “Very true.” She hadn’t even thought about motherhood, it had always been more abstract than anything. Now she was trying to get through this pregnancy, but after…oh God, she would have a tiny life to take care of. For so long she’d just been afraid, looking over her shoulder. Then she’d finally settled in Verona Bay and was starting to allow herself to feel as if she could have a real life. Now, to be responsible for someone else, yeah, it was a little scary.

  “I know I said that I wouldn’t give you any advice, but I might give you one little piece if you’re open to it?” Louise didn’t look up from dicing her tomato.

  “Okay.”

  “Some of my friends have deprived themselves of real relationships, real joy because of their own fear. So if you let fear take over your life, and keep up walls, and don’t take a chance on…well, relationships, there’s a good chance you might regret it for the rest of your life.”

  It was clear that was all she was going to say, and Autumn appreciated it. She sipped her drink, feeling a little awkward. Her feelings for Lincoln didn’t matter.

  “You know what, I actually might need some help,” Louise said into the lull. “Would you mind grabbing the banana peppers from the fridge? Easton can’t get enough of those.”

  “Of course.” She slid off the stool, glad to have something to do with her hands. As they worked together, she realized that was… Christmas music playing in the background. “You’re playing Christmas music in September?”

  “Oh honey, I play it year round. Drives my husband crazy.”

  It was kind of nice, Autumn thought. Soothing even. This was the kind of household she wished she’d grown up in. Maybe if she had, she wouldn’t be so damn afraid.

  * * *

  “So has my family completely terrified you of ever going over there again?” Lincoln’s question sounded only half-joking as they headed home in his truck later.

  “Tonight was fun. I liked watching your family dynamics. It’s pretty clear that Harper has your parents wrapped around her finger. Not that I blame them, she’s adorable.” Serenity had really nailed the parent thing with that kid. She was adorable, sweet, and kind.

  “Serenity seriously impresses me.”

  “Is it weird for your brother that you and her are such good friends?” She’d seen them together well before tonight, and it was clear they had a sweet sibling type relationship.

  Laughing lightly, he shook his head. “No, but you’re very astute. I think there’s only been one or two times where Lucas was weirdly jealous. But I think that’s just a Jordan man thing.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Being protective and possessive of our women.” He shot her a sideways glance.

  Oh. The heat in his eyes was blatant now. Not simmering anymore. “You don’t seem very…” She tried to think of the right way to phrase it. It was weird because he had alpha qualities, but for the most part he seemed very low-key. Well, until he wasn’t.

  He seemed to understand what she was saying. “If I went all alpha and possessive on you, you would kick me to the curb.”

  She lifted a shoulder because it was true. If he’d acted all he-man crazy, she never would have given him a chance. As it was, he was always so patient and kind. And sexy, she could never forget that part.

  As he pulled into her driveway, she cleared her throat nervously. Tonight had shifted things for her. She’d seen what they could have together, what they could be together. Yes, she was still terrified of the future, of losing Lincoln. But she could lose him no matter what. And what happened if, later on down the line, he ended up with someone else? It would tear her apart to watch him be with another woman. She just needed to go for it.

  “Look, I would like to go out on a date with you.” After tonight she knew that she needed to get over herself and give them a chance. Because she would absolutely regret it if she didn’t.

  The truck jerked forward as he slammed on the brakes. “What?”

  “I… Would like to give us a chance. I’m open to trying dating.” It terrified her because if things got all pear-shaped, then life would suck for a while, but his mom had been right. Autumn didn’t want to deprive herself of a real future because of fear. She was always honest and bold in her art. She should be in her life too. Hell, she’d testified in court against a monster, given up her entire life and identity to put that bastard behind bars. She didn’t want to give up a shot at happiness because she was afraid of “what if” might happen to him. Or to them. She could what if herself to death.

  “How about tomorrow? I’ll take you out anywhere you want to go, or cook for you.” He didn’t miss a beat, jumped right into making plans, something that made her smile.

  “I’m teaching a class tomorrow downtown, but what about Tuesday? I like the idea o
f you cooking.”

  “Deal. I’ve got the night off, and I would love to cook for you. With no expectations afterward,” he tacked on. “I mean, if you decide you want to get naked with me again, I’m totally in.”

  She grinned at the mischievous glint in his eyes. The thought of getting naked with him again was absolutely fantastic. The last two days she’d been ridiculously horny and while she wanted to blame it on her pregnancy, she knew it was just because she’d been around Lincoln, and he got her all hot and bothered.

  Her gaze fell to his mouth and a slow-burning wildfire started at her toes, working its way up until her breasts felt heavy, tight. She’d had fantasies about his mouth. “Would it be inappropriate for a good night kiss before our official first date?” she whispered. She didn’t want to wait until tomorrow.

  “Hell no.” His voice was husky, his eyes dilated as he watched her.

  She leaned forward at the same time he did, their lips touching, electricity arching between them.

  And just like that, he took over, tugging her over into his seat so that she was straddling him. She liked that he took charge at the right time.

  As she rubbed over his growing erection, dampness rushed between her legs. Her scrap of material thong and his pants were no real barrier between them, and he was so damn hard. Knowing that she affected him as much as he did her, made her light-headed.

  She might even be able to get off if she rubbed against him like a cat in heat.

  “I want you so bad,” he growled against her mouth, his fingers clenching around her hips with a possessive need.

  At those words, her nipples beaded even harder, her arousal spiking. She clutched onto his shoulders. “I want you too.” Those words weren’t enough to convey just how badly she wanted him to slide inside her, to feel him thrusting hard and deep, to completely fill her.

  She started rolling her hips against his as he reached between their bodies and cupped her covered mound.

  “You feel so good,” she rasped out against his mouth. But she needed more.

  He shoved her panties to the side to cup her mound and groaned again when he slid a finger through her slick folds. “Damn, you’re so wet.”

  And it was all because of him. She couldn’t talk at that moment, not when he slid a finger inside her. She started riding his finger as he began strumming her clit with his thumb. He rubbed her in tight little circles, clearly remembering what she liked. She clenched around him, still needing more. As she bit his bottom lip, he added another finger.

  Now he nipped at her bottom lip, teasing, tasting, as he slowly curled his fingers inside her. Combined with the way he was rubbing her clit, it wouldn’t take her long now. And the fact that they were in her driveway made her feel like a teenager.

  Not that she’d ever done this as a teenager. This was fun and freeing and she loved that she was doing this with Lincoln. With him, she felt free and safe.

  She wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, how scared she was to take this chance with him, but that he was worth it. No words would come, however, as her climax started to build.

  He slid another finger inside her and she lost it, falling into that well of pleasure as a kaleidoscope of colors exploded behind her eyes. Her orgasm hit hard and sharp, probably because she’d been fantasizing about this for nine weeks. Still, she was surprised at the intensity of her orgasm as her toes curled under the force.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered when it faded. “Pregnant orgasms are a good thing.”

  He chuckled slightly, though it came out kind of pained as he shifted his hips up once, trying to adjust himself.

  Knowing he had to be in discomfort—and wanting to make sure he got just as much pleasure as she had—she quickly freed his thick length and started stroking him off with her hands. She wanted to go down on him, but there was no room.

  He crushed his mouth to hers as she wrapped her fingers around him. She loved how thick and heavy he was. He pulsed under her grip as she stroked him, over and over. The tight space made things more intimate and the way he growled against her mouth told her that he wouldn’t be long.

  The harder she stroked, the more unleashed he became, his kisses wild and hungry as he finally came all over her fingers and his shirt.

  Breathing hard, he looked up at her through heavy-lidded eyes, a sated smile on his face. “That was hot,” he murmured.

  It definitely was. And she loved seeing him like this, completely satisfied and relaxed. It gave her hope for their future. “That seems like a nice precursor to our date.”

  “I’m going to taste you next time.” His statement was full of promise and heat.

  Fire sparked through her at his words. Though she was terrified to take a chance with him, she was going to do it. Even if deep down she was worried that as soon as she allowed herself to be happy, the universe would rip everything away from her once again.

  Lincoln was most definitely worth the risk.

  Chapter 25

  Adeline nearly jerked in surprise when she saw Mac pulling into the parking lot of the auto body shop place. Sliding her sunglasses on, she got out of her car and braced herself to see him. Every time she saw him, she thought maybe her reaction to him would lessen, but nope. He was still huge and sexy.

  As she reached the sidewalk in front of the shop, he’d already gotten out of his Bronco.

  “Adeline, hey,” he said, bounding up onto the sidewalk looking as delicious as ever.

  His sleeves were shoved up to his elbows, showing off those damn forearms. Seriously, the forearm game was going to kill her.

  “Hey… How’s Joe?” She’d heard through the grapevine that he’d been released and was doing well. But she’d felt weird checking in since she was basically just his tutor.

  “Good. Fully recovered and staying at his girlfriend’s tonight.” Mac shook his head slightly. “Apparently they made up after their argument.”

  The girl had been there during the search effort, and it was clear that she’d been worried. “That’s great,” Adeline said. Then she stood there feeling awkward as she stared up at him. At that moment, she was very grateful for her sunglasses.

  “I wanted to call you,” he blurted.

  “Oh…why? I mean…” Well, why would he have called her?

  He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “To say thank you again. And to ask you out on a date,” he rushed out.

  She blinked, staring at him in surprise. First, because he was asking her out, and second, because he seemed nervous. Sex-on-a-stick Mac Collins was nervous? About asking her out? “On a date?” She winced at herself because she was basically just repeating him now.

  “Yeah. I’ve wanted to ask you out for a while.”

  She snorted softly. No way. “Pretty sure you didn’t even know I was alive.” The words were out before she could stop herself.

  “Oh, I’ve noticed you.” His voice dropped an octave, his gaze sliding over her like an intimate caress.

  Oh…oh, hell. A frisson of heat slid through her, but just as quickly, fear popped up in its place. Not fear of him, just her past. Being able to fantasize about Mac without any consequences had been therapeutic. He hadn’t known she was alive, or at least that was what she’d thought. So it had been easy to indulge in a harmless crush and fantasies. Soooo very easy. But…he actually wanted to go out with her? Oh, no. Reality was so much different.

  She took a slight step backward. “I don’t know,” she said quickly.

  “No pressure or anything. I just thought maybe… There was a spark between us?”

  Okay, so he’d felt that too. She cleared her throat, trying to figure out what to say, when the door opened and, bless her, Autumn walked out.

  Her friend looked surprised when she spotted her. “Hey girl. Are you having car issues?” she asked, then seemed to notice Mac for the first time. “Oh, hey Mac.”

  How anyone could miss him, Adeline couldn’t imagine. Her gaze always seemed to be drawn to him lik
e that proverbial moth to a flame.

  “Hey, Autumn,” he murmured, barely glancing at her friend.

  “I heard Joe has recovered fully and is doing great,” she continued.

  He gave a polite smile and nodded. “He is, thank you.” Then he gave Adeline an unreadable look before nodding politely and murmuring that he needed to head inside.

  “Did I interrupt something?” Autumn asked quietly, low enough that Adeline barely heard her.

  “Ah, nope. Nothing.” Only the best thing that had happened to her in forever. Even though she’d been afraid to take it.

  “Sure didn’t look like nothing. If you get to harass me about Lincoln, I totally get to harass you about Mac.”

  “What are you doing here anyway?” She hoped changing the subject would work.

  To her surprise, Autumn’s expression darkened. “I blew out my tire a couple days ago. So I brought it in to order a new one. The mechanic thinks…that maybe someone shot it out. I was on Industrial Road, you know, that backcountry one?”

  Frowning, Adeline nodded. “I do know. I know jackasses like to illegally hunt back there. Or take potshots at the speed limit signs.” She worked with the local shelter and was friends with one of the vets, and they’d dealt with hunting dogs getting shot by accident by morons who had no business handling guns. Or dogs. Or basically being in civilized society at all.

  “Yeah, me too. Still… Kind of scary.”

  “Have you told Lincoln about it?”

  “Not yet, but I’m going to.”

  She nodded slightly as she stepped back down on the pavement, falling in step with Autumn into the parking lot.

  “What are you doing? Autumn asked.

  “Nothing. I changed my mind about getting my oil changed today.”

  Autumn simply lifted an eyebrow. “Did you change your mind because of that sexy Mac Collins?”

  “Better not let Lincoln hear you calling another man sexy.” She actually didn’t like anyone calling Mac sexy—though he was.

  “You better mind your business,” she shot back.