Alpha Heat

by Leta Blake

  Xan crossed the room slowly. He kept challenging eyes on Urho, only sparing a glance for Caleb when he sat down on another soft chair next to him, wincing as he did.

  Clearly, the damage to his anus was sufficient to still bring him pain the next day. Urho opened his mouth to scold Xan for not asking him here as a doctor and a friend to deal with it, but then he shut it again.

  Xan had said the night before that he deserved this, and, by the Holy Book of Wolf, if he did go seeking out this kind of thing, then perhaps he did. Urho shuddered in disgust, but he didn’t know if it was at himself, the Holy Book, or Xan. He was in over his head and he didn’t know where to begin.

  Caleb seemed to have no such reservations. “You must have Urho examine you.”

  Xan snorted, but his gaze darted away from Urho’s finally, dropping to the floor. He reached for Caleb’s hand and when it was granted, he held onto it. Urho stared at the two of them trying to understand. Why did he feel as though he’d walked into an upside-down world, one he both wanted to comprehend and to run very far away from?

  “You’re injured and I’m scared,” Caleb said. “As your omega, I demand you allow it.”

  Xan squeezed his eyes shut, his cheeks flaming, but he nodded. “Dr. Chase—”

  “We’ve been friends too long for that.” The repressed emotion under all this civility was making Urho itch.

  “Urho, then,” Xan said, his eyes landing on him with anger burning down deep inside. “My omega would appreciate it if you’d examine me. He’s concerned for my health.”

  “As he should be. You look terrible.” Urho took a deep breath, taking in the scent of Xan’s skin, the other layers of odor over and around him. He frowned. “There could be a hint of infection already.”

  Caleb’s eyes went wide and he clutched at Xan’s hand, knuckles going white.

  “Now you are upsetting my omega,” Xan said darkly. “But let’s get on with it.”

  Urho’s head swam. He felt as though the tea had been drugged. He stood when Xan did and watched through a fishbowl of confusion as Xan kissed the top of Caleb’s blond head and then motioned for Urho to follow him to “somewhere more private.” Since when did an alpha need to keep anything private from his omega?

  Xan led the way toward the staircase, but when he glanced up at it, his shoulders rounded in defeat. “I’d rather do this on the ground floor.”

  “We could return to the drawing room. Surely Caleb would want to be present for…”

  “You need to stay away from him,” Xan muttered.

  Urho frowned. “I have no designs on Caleb. What do you take me for?”

  Xan laughed, though it held little mirth. “I’m not concerned about that. Caleb is special.”

  “All alphas think their omegas are special.”

  “Perhaps, but I want to keep him safe.”

  “From me?”

  “From things that upset him.”

  Urho huffed. “I imagine the bruises on your face at this moment must upset him much more than anything I could say or do.”

  “We both know that’s not true,” Xan said ominously, beckoning him down a narrow hallway. “One remark to imply that you intend to go to the authorities over what you know about me would undo him.”

  Urho let out a breath laced with hurt. Is that what Xan thought of him?

  Xan finally opened a door to a small, un-renovated but well-lit room with a very dated daybed tucked against the front wall beside a table and chairs. It looked like an old nursery. Perhaps it had been for the previous owners. He knew Xan had purchased the house in an estate sale after the death of a widowed omega.

  “Will this do?”

  Urho put his bag down on the table and forced his voice to steadiness. “Undress. I’ll need to see your injuries from head to toe. Use the blanket on the bed for privacy, if you must, but I’ll need to examine your anus.”

  Xan stood motionless, staring at Urho. His pupils grew so dilated that the blue was nearly obliterated. “Why are you doing this?” he finally hissed. “Why are you here at all?”

  “You’re injured.” Urho floundered. “What kind of doctor would I be if I didn’t check on you this morning?”

  “What kind of doctor were you last night that you let me go home alone in this shape?”

  “A shocked one. A human one.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling the stubble he’d missed in his haste that morning. “I handled it all badly.”

  And he didn’t understand why. Had it been any other man on the street, any other alpha confessing to being unmanned, he’d have known how to behave. And any other friend, especially, he’d have insisted on taking home and caring for him immediately. What was it about Xan that always threw him off? And why did this revelation that the beating behind these injuries hadn’t been entirely unwelcome terrify Urho so much?

  No, it was all nonsense. Never mind if Xan claimed to be unmanned. The boy had been delirious last night. He couldn’t have meant what he said. Just as Caleb couldn’t have meant what he was implying this morning either. Urho refused to believe it.

  His stomach was full of snakes, rolling and slithering into living knots as he wiped a trembling hand over his face again. “Forgive me.”

  “I nearly passed out at the wheel.”

  Urho cleared his throat, trying to regain his footing in their conversation. He was in the right. He needed to remember that and hold the upper hand. “I’m sorry. Should we begin the exam?”

  “Fine.”

  “Take off your clothes.”

  “No.”

  “Your omega requested that I examine you.”

  Xan crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his chin. “Leave him out of this. What are you doing here, Urho? What do you really want from me?”

  Urho motioned at the bed as he took a seat in a tiny chair at the small table. His knees came up too high and he felt ridiculous and stupid. “I couldn’t sleep last night. I regretted the way I let you leave. As a doctor it was incorrect. As a friend it was unforgivable.”

  Xan remained standing. “But you ask my forgiveness anyway?”

  “I wouldn’t blame you for withholding it.”

  “You’re an asshole,” Xan snapped.

  “So are you.”

  “True.” His lips quirked with an almost smile. “But let’s be frank, we’re barely friends. You don’t owe me anything. If you want to be of help, then go home, forget you saw anything, and leave me alone.”

  Urho frowned and sat up straighter. He wanted to dispute this description of their acquaintance, but the fact of the matter was, he didn’t spend time alone with Xan. Not ever.

  And there was a reason for that. Xan always made his skin feel too small, and his world too dull, and his heart too shriveled. Xan made him itch all over with irritation, and brought on a desire to grab him by the neck, shove him to the floor, and…

  And what?

  Do whatever that alpha had done to him last night?

  No, he wanted to fuck Xan and make him love it, not beat him to a pulp and make him suffer. No part of him wanted that.

  Urho’s face heated. He hoped his dark complexion kept Xan from seeing it. But, even if it did, he supposed there wasn’t much he could do to hide his bewilderment. The inside of his mind was a circus of desires and fears he didn’t understand. He couldn’t imagine he was any good at hiding that fact.

  Xan stared steadily at him.

  “You confuse me,” Urho said, finally. “I’m here to help, but you’re treating me like the enemy.”

  Xan’s shoulders slumped. He frowned, casting a hard look at the wall just over Urho’s shoulder. His knees seemed to tremble and he finally sat on the day bed, away from Urho. He plucked nervously at the blue quilt beneath him.

  “Talk to me,” Urho commanded. “Enough of this strangeness and just tell me what happened last night. Use your words. I know you have lots of them. I hear you spout off with impertinence all the time.”

  Xan’s plump l
ips twitched like he might smile, and Urho sat up straighter, relaxing into this familiar role. He was an older alpha with experience and good advice to offer. Like with Jason, he could be an uncle figure, perhaps. Xan wasn’t any different.

  Never mind that Xan’s bruised cheek pulled at something inside Urho, like a fishing hook to some part of his soul, tug, tug, tugging until he wanted to rip it free or…do something else. He yearned to act—to be tender or violent, he wasn’t sure. But he definitely wanted to behave in a way that was forbidden.

  He swallowed hard and took up the uncle role again, leaning into it for strength and steadiness. “Tell me,” Urho commanded.

  Xan shot him a glare, as though he might argue or refuse, but then he simply calmly stated, “I’m unmanned. I explained to you last night.”

  “You were attacked. You fought back,” Urho said, returning to the story he had mostly convinced himself had to be the truth. Except for the part where he knew it wasn’t—because he’d smelled Xan’s semen last night too. And he was only now willing to admit it.

  Still he lumbered on with the easier lies, willing Xan to take them up and own them too. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You were overpowered and—”

  “I went to him, Urho. I go to him regularly.” Xan’s eyes burned hot. “To get fucked.”

  Urho’s mouth clamped shut and he squeezed his fists tight. Revulsion swept over him. The image of Xan beneath another man, taking his cock, being owned by him, forced acid to rise in his throat. “No.”

  “Do you understand now? We aren’t lovers. It’s nothing like that.” Xan shuddered, as if the thought of the man who’d abused him being his lover disgusted even him. “I had a lover once and I know the difference. But that’s over. So I make do with what I can find. What I deserve.”

  “You had a lover?” Urho’s hair stood on end, and he ground his teeth together. His heart rate ticked up, a flood of unacceptable feelings roaring within him. In their wake, cold swept through, chilling him head to toe.

  Xan didn’t take up that topic, though; his eyes went distant as though he was somewhere else, not there at all anymore. Urho swallowed so hard that the noise echoed in the small room.

  Finally, Xan’s eyes met his again and he asked, his voice raw with defeat, “What else do you want to know?”

  “Who is he?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “What he’s doing is unlawful. He should be arrested.”

  Xan snorted. “According to the law, it’s me that should be arrested.”

  “You don’t…you can’t want…” Urho’s head spun and the room was too warm. He worked open his tie and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.

  “I do!” Xan said, his cheeks flushing. A redness spread up his pale throat. “He never seeks me out. I go to him. Always. I find him, and I beg him. I taunt him and push him until he fucks me. It’s a game to him. Nothing more.”

  “What is it to you? Also a game?”

  “I wish.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means it’s a wretched darkness in me that I can’t contain or control.”

  Urho shook his head, still disbelieving. “You don’t beg him to leave you injured like this.”

  “No,” Xan agreed. “But I know what I risk when I’m with him. I’ve known his animosity toward me for a very long time. I know how to provoke him. And I do.”

  Urho wiped a drop of sweat from his forehead. His insides tumbled wildly. “Help me understand.”

  Xan huffed. “How?”

  “Explain it.”

  “I just did.”

  “Again.”

  “I’m unmanned. I’ve told you twice. What more is there to say? Get it through your head.”

  Urho closed his eyes. Had Xan been raped in the past? Is that what had led him to believe this kind of treatment was what he wanted? “When did this start?”

  “The association with the man who did this to me? Or my being unmanned?”

  “The latter.”

  Xan picked at the bedspread and shot Urho a wary glance before he finally replied, “It started in school.”

  “With whom?”

  “My lover.”

  “And this so-called ‘lover’ forced you?”

  “No! Never. He was my friend and we played together sexually. It was different than what I do now.” His voice went very small, and he couldn’t meet Urho’s eyes. “It was nice.”

  Urho’s temples throbbed. “Who was he?”

  Xan laughed, still plucking at the bedspread. “Like I’d tell you. It’s not your business. Besides, that’s over.”

  Urho stared at Xan. Suddenly little cues and glances between Jason and Xan took on a new meaning, and Vale’s words from the night before came back to him again. A rage he didn’t understand gripped his heart. “Jason was your ‘lover’?”

  Xan’s mouth crumpled and tears sprang in his eyes. “No.”

  “You’re lying.”

  Xan swallowed audibly, and then pressed his trembling lips together. “Jason is… He’s my best friend. He understands me. That’s all you need to know.”

  “He’s aware of this brutal connection of yours?” Urho motioned toward Xan’s bruised face, knowing damn well that Jason couldn’t possibly know. He’d never let it go on, and besides, Xan had pleaded with him just the night before not to mention it to him.

  “No. And if you tell him, it’ll only upset him, which won’t be good for Vale.”

  Urho’s jaw clenched again. The snotty tone Xan took when he’d mentioned Vale told him all too well that he knew about Urho’s former relationship with Vale and feelings for him. In a friend group so small, there was apparently no hiding things like that.

  Though, until last night, Xan had done a damn good job of hiding his secrets. His and Jason’s. Long banked anger flared deep inside Urho. Jason had taken Vale away and damaged Xan.

  “For that and so many reasons, I hope it’s clear to you that what I do is my business, and no authorities need to be dragged into this,” Xan added imperiously. “The person who would be hurt the most if I were arrested is Caleb, and he’s innocent in all this.”

  “I wouldn’t see anything bad happen to you,” Urho said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. The thought of Xan hurt again tore at him, but he tried to remain composed. “That’s why I can’t let you say these things anymore—to yourself, or to anyone. You must promise me that this—whatever this brutality is—is something you will never seek out again.”

  Xan’s jaw jumped, and he glared sullenly at Urho, but he jerked a nod.

  “I have your word?”

  “I’ve already told Caleb I’m done,” Xan snapped. “He’s the only one who has any right to demand anything of me anyway.”

  Urho sighed, relief and irritation coursing through him in equal measures.

  “Speaking of Caleb, he’ll be wondering what’s taking so long,” Xan said. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to tell him that you examined me and I’m fine.”

  “I would not.”

  Xan grunted, pulling the sweater up over his head. “Then let’s get started. The sooner this is over, the better.”

  The red and purple bruising beneath Xan’s sweater was frighteningly impressive. Looming over him, reminded of how small Xan was, Urho listened to his lungs and heart, his own racing pulse making it hard to hear through his stethoscope. Closing his eyes to block out the damage done to Xan’s body, he steadied himself against the rage and helpless hurt buffeting about inside him.

  When he was calmer, he opened his eyes again and with trembling fingers tested Xan’s ribs for breaks. The dips and planes of Xan’s muscled stomach and chest were mostly hairless, and his pale skin contrasted against Urho’s fingers sharply. Xan hissed in pain as Urho applied some pressure, testing the damage he found. He felt his ribcage carefully, relieved to find that despite the horrific colors blooming all over Xan’s torso, his ribs didn’t appear broken.

  Then he caref
ully touched the fingerprint bruises around Xan’s neck. His heart ached as he asked Xan to turn his head this way and that, and then felt carefully for damage. He didn’t like to think of what could have gone wrong had a little more force been applied.

  Turning to his bag, Urho removed a liniment that promoted healing. Opening the lid of the small glass tub, the scent of arnica and licorice root filled the air. He scooped a dollop onto his fingers and smeared it over the worst of Xan’s bruises, finding the skin hot and fragile beneath his hands.

  Xan stared up at him, breath coming in shallow pants, and his nipples rose into peaks. Urho’s heart thumped, but he cleared his throat, wiped his fingers on a handkerchief from his bag, and then murmured, “I’ll need to see below as well. I can smell the onset of some infection there.”

  Xan’s cheeks flushed even brighter, his pulse pounding visibly in his throat. But he unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down to his ankles, revealing a nicely shaped and half-hard alpha cock, as well as a thick bush of black pubic hair.

  Urho’s balls tingled and his own cock thickened. He turned away to his bag, pretending to search for something as he ruthlessly tried to squash the rising arousal flooding him. “I’ll need you on all fours,” he said, but his voice was rough and strange even to his own ears.

  When he turned back around, Xan had complied. His ass was up in the air, and his knees and forearms dug into the thin daybed mattress. Urho’s breath caught in his throat. He blinked hard. Xan’s back was bruised as well, several boot-shaped welts were perilously close to his spine, and even his ass cheek sported a red, round bruise.

  But his pale skin glowed in the morning sun, his dark hair was glossy and beautiful, and his ass was gorgeous—juicy and plump, the sort of ass an omega would be proud to possess.

  But he’s not an omega. He’s an alpha and it’s absolutely forbidden.

  Urho swallowed hard, adjusting his cock in his pants. Then he knelt to get a better view, pulling the pale globes of Xan’s ass cheeks open to examine his anus. He found it like a seashell, hidden at first by a whorl of dark pubic hair. As he brushed the soft hair aside, heat flashed through him like a lightning strike. He gulped and saliva flooded his mouth.